Braaaiiiinnnssss...

May 24, 2005 9:55 AM

Zombie attackin small-town NH. As I live nearby, I have begun the laborious task of barricading the doors and nailing boards across every window. My cats are furious with me. Oh, and this comment from my friend, who once had the accused zombie as a student: "Travis Saulnier was a student here. At the time of 6th grade, he was already over 6ft and looked well on his way to being the next Leatherface. Not surprised."
posted by ktoad (30 comments total)

See, I knew there was something unnatural about Keene, NH. Gad I moved!
posted by johnj at 9:59 AM on May 24, 2005

Any follow-up news on why the guy was making those noises? Stoned? Seizures? Insane? Actually a zombie?
posted by mmahaffie at 10:05 AM on May 24, 2005

I forsee a series of anti-PCP ads directed by Sam Raimi.
posted by bhance at 10:06 AM on May 24, 2005

We're not using the zed word!
posted by notmydesk at 10:07 AM on May 24, 2005

He could probably smell the delicious hufu they were cooking inside the house.
posted by gurple at 10:09 AM on May 24, 2005

Charges against Saulnier include: attempt to commit burglary, trespassing, possession of burglary tools, possession of marijuana, resisting arrest, loitering and criminal mischief.

Well, I suppose they had to charge him with possession, but this doesn't seem like pot-head behavior. This seems more like PCP induced zombification.
posted by beelzbubba at 10:15 AM on May 24, 2005

Ahh, PCP induced zombification - those wonderful college days.
posted by georgeTirebiter at 10:21 AM on May 24, 2005

Zombification, you say?

obligatory zombie link
posted by yhbc at 10:22 AM on May 24, 2005

beelzbubba writes "This seems more like PCP induced zombification."

Hold on; I though tetrodotoxin was the zombie drug.
posted by mr_roboto at 11:08 AM on May 24, 2005

How to survive a zombie attack.
posted by sveskemus at 11:26 AM on May 24, 2005

mmahaffie : Any follow-up news on why the guy was making those noises?

Sorry, no info yet. The speculation thus far in town is that he was mixing alcohol with some other substance(s).
posted by ktoad at 11:54 AM on May 24, 2005

Just go down to Lindy's and get a bite to eat and let it all blow over.
posted by davros42 at 12:05 PM on May 24, 2005

Is it just me, or did the opening line of the article make it seem as if the guy kept trying to force his way into the house after having been shot?
posted by Doug at 12:08 PM on May 24, 2005

They should have shot him without hesitation! Don't they realize:

Every dead body that is not exterminated becomes one of them. It gets up and kills. The people it kills get up and kill!
posted by Gamblor at 12:13 PM on May 24, 2005

well, if you douse pot with ammonia (carefully) the result is essentially the same as PCP laced pot.
posted by shmegegge at 12:32 PM on May 24, 2005

semi-off topic: Last week at E3 at some zombie game developer's booth they had a couple of professional makeup artists that were turning anyone who wanted into a zombie. Sores, grey skin, bruises, the whole lot. By the end of the show, there were more than a couple shuffling around.
posted by splatta at 12:36 PM on May 24, 2005

johnj: See, I knew there was something unnatural about Keene, NH. G[l]ad I moved!

davros42: Just go down to Lindy's and get a bite to eat and let it all blow over.

I am consistently amazed and disturbed to discover just how many people have visited or lived in this shithole.
posted by ktoad at 12:48 PM on May 24, 2005

They called them "burglarious tools" when I was arrested.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 1:00 PM on May 24, 2005

Add me to the list of people who have spent time in Keene.

And as a Vermonter, well... I have to say... (insert tasteless and probably unfunny joke about New Hampshire being solely populated by zombies here.)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 1:01 PM on May 24, 2005

I'm guessing it didn't involve zombies, but don't stop there, Mulp. Lay the rest of the story on us.
posted by Gamblor at 1:22 PM on May 24, 2005

I had a run-in with a zombie once in Northern Arizona. I made short of work of him without even calling the police. The key is to realize they're not human and you must take any and all actions to stop them. Also, cutting up the body into 13 pieces in burying them randomly along the interstate helps.
posted by nixerman at 1:27 PM on May 24, 2005

Apparently the Keene Sentinel also has a zombie on staff in the copyediting department, or else there's some local custom called a "door jam" that I never heard of.

/strikes off on own tangent
posted by scratch at 1:36 PM on May 24, 2005

Wait one second there Shmegegge, one can douse pot with ammonia?!?!? Huh? It can't possibly be worth the risk.

I so freaking wish I knew how to get my stupid keyboard to display an interrobang. Anyone?
/way off-topic
posted by oddman at 2:09 PM on May 24, 2005

Reads like something Lovecraftian...
posted by PurplePorpoise at 2:29 PM on May 24, 2005

*grabs machete*
*heads for hills*
posted by Smedleyman at 5:14 PM on May 24, 2005

oddman, not following. is there something about ammonia I don't know? (highly likely) it's not something I've ever tried, just something you read in various "counter-culture" pieces of "literature."
posted by shmegegge at 7:22 PM on May 24, 2005

I hear it works on banana peel scrapings, as well.
posted by warbaby at 7:46 PM on May 24, 2005

Also if you take an aspirin while you drink Coke your stomach will explode. Or is it pop rocks, I can't remember.
posted by clevershark at 8:45 PM on May 24, 2005

Nixerman, and by "zombie" you really mean "hitchhiker" right? I make that mistake all the time too.
posted by Pollomacho at 11:40 AM on May 25, 2005

Well, I'm sure glad I have one of these!
posted by -harlequin- at 2:54 PM on May 25, 2005