French fries protester regrets war jibe

May 25, 2005 3:38 AM

Freedom Fries to French Fries: "Sorry dear. It was a momentary lapse of reason. It was a combination of God's hand and a constituent's request. I wish it had never happened.
posted by acrobat (72 comments total)

I'm stunned he's from NC. This state hasn't been doing so well in level-headedness lately. WTG.
posted by moonbird at 3:49 AM on May 25, 2005

God's hand

Way to pass the buck to the divine for his own dumbassery. It's nice to see him recant, though. A small step in the right direction for the whole country, I think.
posted by Faint of Butt at 3:56 AM on May 25, 2005

I always preferred "Imperial Fries."
posted by n9 at 4:14 AM on May 25, 2005

It was a combination of God's hand and a constituent's request.

I ran out of gas. I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 4:15 AM on May 25, 2005

Yeah yeah God's hand, Adam Smith's "invisible hand"..same stuff... when questioned about the statements they often claim they were under the influence of something too strong to oppose and _conveniently_ invisible.

Yet when some asks for alternative solutions to violent means they're misguided and daydreaming and "hippie pacifist" with no connection to reality..yeah right, the Hand of God !!
posted by elpapacito at 4:21 AM on May 25, 2005

The name change is still in force
posted by fullerine at 4:32 AM on May 25, 2005

Of all the murders in the name of God, the murder of a perfectly good meme is perhaps the most cruel.
posted by qvantamon at 4:36 AM on May 25, 2005

Good for the irony value, I should add, before I am flamed.
posted by qvantamon at 4:37 AM on May 25, 2005

I'm not sure whether I should be pleased at more vocal opposition to george w palpatine's crusade (or maybe darth bush) or unnerved that the only way that people can worm their way out of it is through blaming God.
posted by blindsam at 4:56 AM on May 25, 2005

After all, we all know God makes silly mistakes like these all the time, doesn't he? I mean, look at all the stupid things he makes Bush do!
posted by acrobat at 5:06 AM on May 25, 2005

A lot of places are just calling them "fries". In Panama City, FL, recently, we were in a restaurant devoid of "French Fries" on the menu. When my friend's younger brother asked for French dressing on his salad, I hissed "Freedom!" at him in a whisper just loud enough to crack the table up.

Well, the people at the table. The actual table suffered no damage.
posted by Eideteker at 5:11 AM on May 25, 2005

I imagine he probably means "God's hand" in reference to how, once out, the meme spread so quickly and garnered so much ire. He didn't seem to be shirking any blame for bringing it up, to me. Still, I suppose he could have attempted to put a stop to it if he instantly regretted it.
posted by kaseijin at 5:25 AM on May 25, 2005

His last statement, "IF we were given misinformation...".... most of us knew the truth at the time, and after all this time this guy is still saying "IF"..

another weak political opportunist...god forbid the wind change again tomorrow, this guy will be flip-flapping in the breeze like a tattered confederate flag caught in a hurricane

And, anyway, who cares...ever since they stopped doing fries in lard they just haven't been the same....
posted by HuronBob at 5:31 AM on May 25, 2005

[rolling eyes] Bigger fish to fry people, MUCH bigger fish. like, being accountable for one's self, perhaps? Never in the babble bible belt. ugh.
posted by yoga at 5:43 AM on May 25, 2005

I always imagined the French would be happy to be lose the term "French Fries". Originating from Belgium (and still common to lots of meals there) it's not the kind of food the French would like to be associated with.
posted by movilla at 5:43 AM on May 25, 2005

Belgium, really? I'll believe you, but I always thought they were from England. Maybe they just seem like the sort of thing the English would invent.
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:45 AM on May 25, 2005

Whatever happened to "I was drunk. I didn't know what I was doing"?
posted by alumshubby at 5:56 AM on May 25, 2005

In the UK, we've got chips, but only Merkin burger joints call them 'fries' here. There's a great Wikipedia article here.

Frankly, it seemed petty to change the name then, and even pettier that it's still in place now.
posted by BigCalm at 5:59 AM on May 25, 2005

Hmm. The hand of God, eh.

Where have I heard that before?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 6:08 AM on May 25, 2005

Belgian fries are made from much bigger potatoes, and cut in larger pieces then French fries.
posted by kika at 6:14 AM on May 25, 2005

Carnagefries.
posted by bardic at 6:25 AM on May 25, 2005

Kika. That pics from Leuven university in Flanders (I ate Ostrich and chips in Leuven once but that's another story). I wonder if the thicker chips are common in Dutch speaking Flanders but in Wallonia (French speaking south/west) they go for the thinner chips.
posted by movilla at 6:33 AM on May 25, 2005

If God wants this bloke to look like an arsehole who are we to argue?
posted by biffa at 6:40 AM on May 25, 2005

Don't worry mes amis. We are kind and forgiving. And we still call these things "les Belles Américaines".
posted by TimothyMason at 7:05 AM on May 25, 2005

Just one more reason why republicans should just *shut up, shut up, shut up!!!*
posted by mk1gti at 7:15 AM on May 25, 2005

A main course or crow with a side of fries, perhaps?

My wife and I are considering a move to NC in the next couple of years. I'm gladdened to hear that at least some of the pols down there are level-headed.
posted by psmealey at 7:15 AM on May 25, 2005

I always imagined the French would be happy to be lose the term "French Fries".
I believe that most French people discovered that it was called "French fries" when that silly incident happened.
posted by elgilito at 7:17 AM on May 25, 2005 [1 favorite]

Great. So when will the word go out to all the idiots that they can scrape off their "Boycott France!" bumper stickers?

After all, they're taking up valuable space that can be filled with more "Freedon Isn't Free" magnetic ribbons.
posted by yhbc at 7:17 AM on May 25, 2005

Fiasco Fries.
posted by hydrophonic at 7:17 AM on May 25, 2005

I never understood the whole freedom fries thing -- if England was with us and France was agin' us, why didn't we just change the name to 'chips'?
posted by spilon at 7:19 AM on May 25, 2005

After all, they're taking up valuable space that can be filled with more "Freedon Isn't Free" magnetic ribbons.
posted by yhbc

There's a hefty fuckin fee.
posted by papakwanz at 7:23 AM on May 25, 2005

Nice one papakwanz. As silly as that song is, it's pretty damn catchy! (Finally saw the movie this weekend.)
posted by bardic at 7:26 AM on May 25, 2005

Yeah, biffa, and the whole damn nation along with him
posted by acrobat at 7:27 AM on May 25, 2005

Even more amusing than the "freedom fries" bit are those idiot restauranteurs -- again, mostly from your South -- who publicly poured out bottles of French wine into sewer grates. Bottles they'd already paid for.

Sure, it's a waste of good wine, but let's face it the French will keep making more; there's nothing quite like the experience of seeing a moron throwing away his own money and/or assets.
posted by clevershark at 7:33 AM on May 25, 2005

Seldom mentioned is the fact that McDonald's and the other, equally dire, mass-fodder chains originally called them "French Fries" as a nice, tasty-sounding way to conceal what they really are.

From McDo's own web site:
French Fries:
Potatoes, partially hydrogenated soybean oil, natural flavor (beef source), dextrose, sodium acid pyrophosphate (to preserve natural color). Cooked in partially hydrogenated vegetable oils (may contain partially hydrogenated soybean oil and/or partially hydrogenated corn oil and/or partially hydrogenated canola oil and/or cottonseed oil and/or sunflower oil and/or corn oil).

So I guess what I'm saying is, whether they're Freedom Fries, French Fries, Darth Bush Fries, or Imperial Fries, they're really extremely bad for you.

They should be called Chemical Fries and I wouldn't feed 'em to my dog.

Just saying. :-))

Partially hydrogenated fat does not occur in nature. It is a carcinogen and linked to cardiac problems and other health issues.

The fact that McDonalds, and other similar evil profiteering bastards, continue to feed this poison to children is really quite sickening at several levels.

Okay, I'll go away now. Please continue with the witty thread about the dumb Republican senator who's beginning to consider that maybe, just maybe, he was misled about there being WMD in Iraq. Enjoy your meal!
posted by cleardawn at 7:38 AM on May 25, 2005

I don't think it was the hand of god, it was probably Hands of Manos.
posted by splatta at 7:41 AM on May 25, 2005

cleardawn, you could start with just about any "healthy" oil you like — by the time you heat it up that hot in those fryers, it's going to be hydrogenated (and, yes, horrible for you).
posted by Zurishaddai at 7:43 AM on May 25, 2005

Did we all read the same article? Looked like a sincere apology to me, plus the fact that he's heavily and vocally opposed to the war now seemed like a more prominent fact.
posted by glenwood at 7:45 AM on May 25, 2005

So I guess what I'm saying is, whether they're Freedom Fries, French Fries, Darth Bush Fries, or Imperial Fries, they're really extremely bad for you.

Deliciousness isn't free.
posted by Jart at 7:48 AM on May 25, 2005

splatta writes 'I don't think it was the hand of god, it was probably Hands of Manos.'

Manos? The Hands of fate? ;)

Seriously though, as someone directly affected by this story I have boycotted the freedom toast and freedom fries. Until yesterday. 'cause the signs are down, but when i went to the register they rang up as "Freedom Toast" and I was like WTF? So i ate them, but i DIDN"T enjoy it. Plus, the boycott is STILL ON!
posted by indiebass at 8:01 AM on May 25, 2005

Sorry, that should have been: Hands of Manos
posted by splatta at 8:04 AM on May 25, 2005

I find this to be funny for some reason:

"If we were given misinformation intentionally by people in this administration, to commit the authority to send boys, and in some instances girls, to go into Iraq, that is wrong,"
posted by R590 at 8:10 AM on May 25, 2005

Since no one else has said this yet re Rep Jones' recent recantation of his support for the Iraq War:

WE FUCKIN' TOLD YOU SO! IDIOTS!

Problem is, now it's too late. We broke Iraq even worse than Saddam ever did, and now we have to make it right.

Fucking idiots.
posted by mooncrow at 8:12 AM on May 25, 2005

Fascist Fries.
posted by nofundy at 8:21 AM on May 25, 2005

The fact that McDonalds, and other similar evil profiteering bastards, continue to feed this poison to children is really quite sickening at several levels.

Hey, cleardawn, do you get this righteously indignant about Ramen noodles and spring rolls and saltines, or is it just Mickey D's that makes you spew?

And for the record, McDonald's and its brethren didn't call 'em French fries to "conceal" anything, since the name predates the concept of fast food by at least a couple of generations.
posted by gompa at 8:25 AM on May 25, 2005

Goddamn flipfloppers.
posted by ddf at 8:36 AM on May 25, 2005

gompa:

What's wrong with ramen noodles? I was under the impression that unless you're MSG-intolerant, there's no problem. Do Ramen noodles have trans-fat or something?
posted by -harlequin- at 8:42 AM on May 25, 2005

It is sweet irony that the person who coined this silly insult to the French should now turn coat and oppose the war. Rather than ridicule him, I salute him for seeing his error, being open minded enough to change his views, and for being brave enough to speak out. Too bad he couldn't have seen the light in 2002. Bush used the fervent patriotism at that time to push through an attack the would have been impossible prior to 9-11 and difficult even now. In 2002, though, it was easy. The war resolution passed the Senate 77-23 and the House 296-133. How about the 29 Democratic Senators who voted for the resolution?
posted by caddis at 8:45 AM on May 25, 2005

it was meant as a "light-hearted gesture".

Washington just seems incapable of doing intentional comedy. Which is rather odd, given all the material just begging to be put to use.
posted by IndigoJones at 9:10 AM on May 25, 2005

-harlequin-: Alas, yes, Ramen noodles are flash-fried in hydrogenated vegetable oil or palm oil and thus way high in trans fat. They come in at No. 3 on this list of Top Ten trans-fat foods to be avoided, for example.

I shudder to think of how much of the stuff I ingested in my undergrad days. 'Course, my liver now pipes up to respectfully submit that trans-fatty noodles were among the lesser abuses my body endured in those years.
posted by gompa at 9:25 AM on May 25, 2005

"Freedom Isn't Free"

Judging by our actions in Abu Ghraib and Gitmo, Freedom isn't Free, but is a dom.
posted by eriko at 9:34 AM on May 25, 2005

gompa:

Damn. I'm running outta things to eat here...
posted by -harlequin- at 9:47 AM on May 25, 2005

Fries are bad for you; thanks for the breaking news, cleardawn.

Later in this thread we will discuss how smoking may cause lung cancer.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 9:58 AM on May 25, 2005

I had just heard from a friend that this has historical precedence. During WWII, German Measles were renamed to "Liberty Measles". This is the best link I could find for it.

I guess history does rhyme, and the manipulation of public sentiment is a good example of it.
posted by a_green_man at 10:05 AM on May 25, 2005

So I guess what I'm saying is, whether they're Freedom Fries, French Fries, Darth Bush Fries, or Imperial Fries, they're really extremely bad for you.

Thanks for letting us know, Slim Goodbody.

good greif, some people never pass up an opportunity to scold and preach.

They should be called Chemical Fries and I wouldn't feed 'em to my dog

And congatulate themselves.
posted by jonmc at 10:08 AM on May 25, 2005

Bigger fish to fry people, MUCH bigger fish.

Mmmm! Fish and chips!
posted by NemesisVex at 10:10 AM on May 25, 2005

And congratulate themselves.

I don't even own a french fry!
posted by mr_roboto at 10:34 AM on May 25, 2005

They should be called Chemical Fries and I wouldn't feed 'em to my dog.

Do you know what's in dog food?
posted by Specklet at 10:42 AM on May 25, 2005

Optimus Chyme : "Later in this thread we will discuss how smoking may cause lung cancer."

What? You can't just spring something like this without backing it up. The french fry hatas at least had some sort of evidence to back up their spurious claims. *scoffs at Optimus*
posted by graventy at 11:18 AM on May 25, 2005

I would love it if we changed nationalistic language to jingoistic language every time something pissed us off. Russian dressing? Red, White and Blue Dressing. Persian rugs? Peace rugs. Belgian waffles? Brave American Soldier waffles. Etc.
posted by Joey Michaels at 11:39 AM on May 25, 2005

Russian Dressing?

Patriots eat an iceberg lettuce wedge with ranch, and only while they wait for their steak, faggot.
posted by iron chef morimoto at 12:19 PM on May 25, 2005

"How's your French Toast, Honey?"

"Smelly and ungrateful! But this AMERICAN toast is delicious!"
posted by BigLankyBastard at 12:31 PM on May 25, 2005

Frankfurters to hot dogs, hamburgers to salisbury steak. Why should the rest of our junk food be immune to politics?

I just hope we don't declare war on the Arctic and find ourselves renaming Klondike bars. Or invade Idaho* and start calling potato chips "Patriot chips".

*Note: I'm Canadian, so I can invade Idaho if I want to. Which I don't, so please no offers.
posted by palinode at 12:48 PM on May 25, 2005

Hey moonbird, flush both their scriptures.
posted by davy at 1:30 PM on May 25, 2005

anyone in NC or nearby wanna confirm that this guy is really anti-war now?
posted by hackly_fracture at 3:31 PM on May 25, 2005

Walt Jones' latest legislation proposes to protect kids from "gay" books. He says kids shouldn't be taught tolerance because "children don't even know what tolerance means."

(Full disclosure: link is to my own site.)

But at least he apologized for the french fry thing...?
posted by mudpuppie at 5:01 PM on May 25, 2005

cleardawn writes "The fact that McDonalds, and other similar evil profiteering bastards, continue to feed this poison to children is really quite sickening at several levels."

Actually, McDonalds isn't feeding anything to children. Parents are buying it and feeding it to their own kids, so it seems to me you should place the responsibility where it really lies. No one is forced to eat french fries.

And personally, you can pry my last french fry from my cold dead fingers. I don't care if I am shaving a few years off my life ... I love my greasy fries.
posted by Orb at 5:54 PM on May 25, 2005

Orb, dude, the whole purpose of cleardawn's post was to show us what a smart little boy he was for knowing that fries are (gasp) bad for us, and what an evolved being he is for not indulging them. Or he merely felt bad that he could think of anything funny to add. And the dippy little apologia at the end of his comment makes me think he knows it. Smug, smartass little rubberneck.

They're saving a place in heaven for him.
posted by jonmc at 6:19 PM on May 25, 2005

Best yet: Fiasco Fries
posted by acrobat at 3:33 AM on May 26, 2005

good greif, some people never pass up an opportunity to scold and preach.
...
the whole purpose of cleardawn's post was to show us what a smart little boy he was
...
Smug, smartass little rubberneck.
-jonmc

Did I say something you don't like, jonmc?
We can discuss it, if you'd like. :-))
Or are you just making posts which contain unpleasant personal attacks and, er, nothing else?

Not everyone knows that hydrogenated oils are poisonous. Certainly several posters here seem to confuse the trans fats issue with the more mundane issue of whether junk food is unhealthy. It is, of course, but hydrogenated fat is a different issue - there is no safe level of hydrogenated oil consumption. - I certainly didn't know that until a few months ago.

If everyone knew that, then the people selling these products would stop, since nobody would buy them.

That was the justification for my post, mainly, rather than smug self-righteous preaching.

Although I admit I do enjoy a little smug self-righteous preaching from time to time. :-))
posted by cleardawn at 10:16 AM on May 26, 2005

And:

Metafilter: Showing us all what smart little boys they are.
posted by cleardawn at 10:37 AM on May 26, 2005

Don't stand there gawping like you've never seen the hand of God before!

I think we should take it easy on this guy. Part of the problem with being smarter than people (let's face it most people can't type or use computers or have gone to college, etc. etc. even those that have are still slaves to either their genitalia or their ancestors notions: 'Tradition' 'religion', etc.) is, that you are in fact smarter than them.
It is certainly frustrating to see a monkey smooth brain be listened to and have the level of success this man does, but at the very least it shows that there is hope for anyone.
posted by Smedleyman at 12:49 PM on May 26, 2005