The Secret Paul Lynde Agenda

June 11, 2005 6:24 AM

The Secret Paul Lynde Agenda
The American Family Association warns us about a TV special that blows the lid off the Homosexual Agenda: "TV Land's 'Happy Face' On Homosexuality Masks Tragic Lifestyle."

"Ed Vitagliano, a media researcher for the American Family Association, says although 'Tickled Pink' does not promote the latest political issues of the pro-homosexual movement, the one-hour special does appear to have some disturbing objectives. One thing the show seems to do, he observes, is to hint that Hollywood has somehow 'outsmarted' mainstream culture for decades by 'sneaking" homosexual characters and motifs into television programs.' "
posted by ericb (65 comments total)

"And then the gays tried to claim that Batman and Robin, Starsky and Hutch, and even Laverne and Shirley are, if not homosexual, at least good friends — how dare they despoil our heroes!"
posted by ericb at 6:26 AM on June 11, 2005

"Hollywood has somehow 'outsmarted' mainstream culture for decades by 'sneaking" homosexual characters and motifs into television programs"

Well, duh! If mainstream culture has been outsmarted for decades, then mainstream culture must be pretty damn stupid.

Oh, right... ;-P
posted by mischief at 6:39 AM on June 11, 2005

Paul Lynde was gay?

I'm shocked! Shocked, I tell you.
posted by mmahaffie at 6:56 AM on June 11, 2005

What about television's secret aluminium appliance agenda? And let us not forget the terrible George Lopez agenda. Sigh.
posted by furtive at 7:02 AM on June 11, 2005

err make that stainless steel agenda. Just woke up.
posted by furtive at 7:03 AM on June 11, 2005

There are things far more sinister than television behind the promotion of the homosexual agenda.
posted by Slithy_Tove at 7:06 AM on June 11, 2005

television isn't, and hasn't been mainstream culture for decades? what was, the public museum?
posted by quonsar at 7:09 AM on June 11, 2005

I prefer to think of it as the Charles Nelson Reilly agenda...
posted by horsemuth at 7:09 AM on June 11, 2005

It must suck to be a member of the American Family Association. They have to go through life forever fearful that there's a gay man around every corner waiting for them to drop their guard... to what end I'm not sure. They must be afraid of "catching teh gay" or something. Sad, sad.
posted by clevershark at 7:13 AM on June 11, 2005

one wonders why so many apparently fear them and think thier antics worthy of discussion... *cough*
posted by quonsar at 7:17 AM on June 11, 2005

Sadly, heterosexism is everywhere. If you're not poking fun at the homosexual boogeyman, you have to be treating gay people like monsters or perverts. Heigh ho.
posted by malusmoriendumest at 7:20 AM on June 11, 2005

Ahhh for the days when Paul Lynde was the central square on the original Hollywood Squares. My favorite Paul Lynde moment (circa 1969): Peter Marshall: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
posted by Cincinnati_Craig at 7:23 AM on June 11, 2005

oh, it's coming....

The Liberal "gay" Media.
posted by j.p. Hung at 7:43 AM on June 11, 2005

The advertizing industry has been withholding $$ from the world of 'gay tv' following lobbying by the AFA.
posted by peacay at 7:51 AM on June 11, 2005

The AFA neglects to mention the faceless cabal's introduction of flamboyant characters to divert attention from those who successfully weevilled in under the radar, like Lynde. Mwuhahaha!
posted by nj_subgenius at 7:52 AM on June 11, 2005

err....rather, the companies that formerly advertized are withholding their money.
posted by peacay at 7:52 AM on June 11, 2005

My favorite mainstream media hack is the one Seth McFarlane pulled with American Dad. Cloaked as an Archie Bunker-type show centered on a die hard conservative American, they pull shit that Family Guy could never get away with, like jokes involving "taint" and alluding to anal sex. My favorite character is the Paul Lynde clone Roger, though his sexuality hasn't come up so far.
posted by mathowie at 7:58 AM on June 11, 2005

one wonders why so many apparently fear them and think thier antics worthy of discussion...

I wonder why you don't know you've just asked a rhetorical question, Quonsar honey.

Here's a non-rhetorical question: are you and Kwantsar the same person?
posted by davy at 8:09 AM on June 11, 2005

That Tickled Pink special on TV Land was a hoot (at least for confirmed hellbound sodomites like myself). They're replaying it all month for Gay Pride month. Catch it if you can--it shows up in TiVo listings as "Inside TV Land."
posted by ChrisTN at 8:19 AM on June 11, 2005

BTW, I've always been a big fan of the term "confirmed bachelor," a staple in American media lingo for decades. Too bad Liberace never found a wife, innit?
posted by kozad at 8:19 AM on June 11, 2005

er, well, kozad....not so much as a marriageable one in the AFA sense.
posted by nj_subgenius at 8:25 AM on June 11, 2005

...and is calling someone 'honey' in a gay culture thread a Godwin variant or sumpin?
posted by nj_subgenius at 8:27 AM on June 11, 2005

does anyone know if the homosexual agenda has a web site or something? cause we've been fighting it for decades and I still don't know what it is.
posted by mcsweetie at 8:32 AM on June 11, 2005

If the right wing (mouth-foaming-maniac) media can "sneak in" characters like Bill O'Riley to promote their agenda, they shouldn't complain about the left wing (gay) media promoting theirs.

And what paranoid ultraconservative came up with the notion of a homosexual agenda anyway? He should have kept his tin-foil hat on.

Doesn't it sound like these people have merely replaced the "Jews control Hollywood and the media" stereotype with an easier target? Or has they compounded it to "The Jewish-Gay-Liberal Media?"

Man, the AFA makes me cringe. It's like they said, "How can we name our organization in such a way that it's really the opposite of what we believe in?
posted by Jon-o at 8:49 AM on June 11, 2005

Sincere question here (no, really): What do people opposed to "the homosexual agenda" think that "the homosexual agenda" is?
posted by dazed_one at 9:07 AM on June 11, 2005

Wait till they find out that God is in on it too. The fact that the prostate gland can be analy stimulated proves it.
posted by Mick at 9:14 AM on June 11, 2005

It was a great special--and i think it was produced by Linda Ellerbee, which also rocks.

more on the AFA at the SPLC--...AFA's direct-mail appeals are particularly shrill. "For the sake of our children and society, we must OPPOSE the spread of homosexual activity! Just as we must oppose murder, stealing, and adultery!" says one such recent fundraising letter. "Since homosexuals cannot reproduce, the only way for them to 'breed' is to RECRUIT! And who are their targets for recruitment? Children!"

AFA has 21 state directors, including California's Scott Lively, co-author of The Pink Swastika, a book that claims "homosexuals are the true inventors of Nazism and the guiding force behind many Nazi atrocities"...

mcsweet and dazed: here's one
posted by amberglow at 9:21 AM on June 11, 2005

My wife and I have chosen to not reproduce.

Does that mean we can recruit some children?
posted by five fresh fish at 9:30 AM on June 11, 2005

five fresh fish: if you recruit children into a lifestyle in which a man and a woman love each other and have sexual relations in which birth control is used to prevent conception, than the answer is no. Get ready for the fiery pit, my friend.
posted by kozad at 9:45 AM on June 11, 2005

I love how the term researcher is used so loosely.
posted by abez at 9:50 AM on June 11, 2005

If people have to be "recruited" into "teh ghey", doesn't that at least imply that there's also someone recruiting teenagers into having straight sex?

GIS for "gay agenda":

posted by clevershark at 9:55 AM on June 11, 2005

dazed_one: here it is, from the AFA itself in a .PDF
posted by nj_subgenius at 10:00 AM on June 11, 2005

All this "underscores the fact that there really is an agenda in Hollywood amongst those who are homosexual," Vitagliano says. And its chief aim, he asserts, has apparently been "to kind of broach the subject [of homosexuality] to straight America in as subtle a way as possible with the hopes that they'll be more accepting of the political movement."

Well, yeah, he's right about that. Except it's not an agenda "in Hollywood amongst those who are homosexual." It's an agenda shared by all those world-wide who believe that lesbians and gays should be able to live without getting bashed by right wing hate groups.

It's not like he's being hallucinatory (is that a word?)
It's just that they think that's evil, and I think they're evil.

btw,
wtf is the dad holding???
posted by Edible Energy at 10:01 AM on June 11, 2005

Haven't these people ever been to a minor league baseball game in middle America--when they sing YMCA at the 7th inning break? That's where the real homo conversions are taking place.

Oh, yeah, the tv. Here's a clue:

Well, I wus sittin' home alone an' started to sweat,
Figured they wus in my T.V. set.
Peeked behind the picture frame,
Got a shock from my feet, hittin' right up in the brain.
Them Reds homos caused it!
I know they did . . . them hard-core ones.

...
Well, I fin'ly started thinkin' straight
When I run outa things to investigate.
Couldn't imagine doin' anything else,
So now I'm sittin' home investigatin' myself!
Hope I don't find out anything . . . hmm, great God!
posted by a_day_late at 10:02 AM on June 11, 2005

These AFA people spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, obsessing about homosexuality. They see it everywhere -- on TV, in the public library. They can't stop thinking about it. They launch websites and boycotts and letter-writing campaigns about it. The hold press conferences so they can obsess more about it in public. They can't get enough of it.

By contrast, my own involvement in homosexuality -- all I did was marry a man -- seems modest and contained.
posted by digaman at 10:11 AM on June 11, 2005

Since homosexuals cannot reproduce...

Hilarious. So apparently when we "choose" to be gay, this mental act must set off some sort of sterility bomb hidden in our bodies, rendering us infertile. Or, uh, maybe they figure God makes us gay at birth, but He also sends us into the world sterile. Either way, it's bizarre logic that neither fits their dogma nor the factual reality that thousands of gays and lesbians do in fact have children of our own damned loins.
posted by nakedcodemonkey at 10:12 AM on June 11, 2005

in responce to yesterdays homo thread and this one. I just learned this morning that during the Holocost, the Nazis were not just after the Jews but the gays as well.
posted by wheelieman at 10:26 AM on June 11, 2005

yup, wheelieman--and they had closet cases among them, just as the GOP and these groups do now.


Metafilter: our own damned loins
posted by amberglow at 10:32 AM on June 11, 2005

Yes, the Nazis were after a lot of people. Jews, gays, Roma ("gypsies"), Communists...
posted by nakedcodemonkey at 10:42 AM on June 11, 2005

I prefer to think of it as the Charles Nelson Reilly agenda...

I always suspected Match Game had a sinister agenda.

*furrows brow*
posted by jonmc at 10:51 AM on June 11, 2005

...not to mention Social Democrats, anarchists, and other "enemies of the state"; ...criminals...Jehovah's Witnesses...asocials, a catch-all term for vagrants, bums, prostitutes, hobos, alcoholics who were living on the streets, or anyone who didn't have a permanent address..."work-shy," or those who were arrested because they refused to work...

Of course, there's absolutely no modern political movement in the U.S. that demonizes similar groups of human beings. Nope.
posted by nakedcodemonkey at 10:52 AM on June 11, 2005

are you and Kwantsar the same person?

no. logs can easily confirm this.
posted by quonsar at 11:02 AM on June 11, 2005

Porn stars attended a white house fundraiser! I await Focus on the Family's letter writing campaign against this GOP event.
posted by mathowie at 12:18 PM on June 11, 2005

Get ready for the fiery pit, my friend.

Damn.

Well, at least I'll be in the most excellent company of everyone I care about. I pretty much loathe the powerseeking controlfreak evangelist religionist nutcases, so I'm just as happy to not have to associate with those fucked-up bastard assholes in the afterlife.
posted by five fresh fish at 12:24 PM on June 11, 2005

from mathowie's link:
[Mary - pornstar]Carey: "I'm especially looking forward to meeting Karl Rove. Smart men like him are so sexy. I know that he's against gay marriage, but I think I can convince him that a little girl-on-girl action now and then isn't so bad!"
Heh.
posted by peacay at 12:51 PM on June 11, 2005

Edible Energy: i think it's a whip.
posted by RedEmma at 12:56 PM on June 11, 2005

clevershark: "They have to go through life forever fearful that there's a gay man around every corner waiting for them to drop their guard... to what end I'm not sure. "

Well, I am pretty sure they are concerned about their OWN end and what that gay man is a'gonna do to it.
posted by Rawhide at 1:08 PM on June 11, 2005

I'm not sure I want to check out quansar's log.
posted by Balisong at 1:42 PM on June 11, 2005

>Well, I am pretty sure they are concerned about their OWN end and what that >gay man is a'gonna do to it.

I'm pretty sure that most gay men wouldn't find them all that attractive. Even Jim West has to offer men government jobs to get them to have sex with him.
posted by faceonmars at 2:04 PM on June 11, 2005

"I'll take Paul Lynnde to block the progress of the God-Sanctioned progress of American heterosexual marriage, Bob."

Talk about your secret squares.
posted by StopMakingSense at 2:18 PM on June 11, 2005

But they can dream, can't they, faceonmars?
posted by Rawhide at 3:11 PM on June 11, 2005

Because hatred is a family value.
posted by nofundy at 3:43 PM on June 11, 2005

Maybe there are homosexual characters and motifs on television because there are homosexual characters and motifs in real life.
posted by sacrilicious at 4:55 PM on June 11, 2005

The saddest thing about all of this, aside from the regular cast of idiots, is the fact that the notion of Hollywood outsmarting mainstream culture about anything is actually plausible. But I wouldn't impute to them any motives that the evangelicals would find frightening in any way; they're just greedy is all, and Americans have always found homosexuals somewhat 'tittilating,' so long as they're on the other side of the glass.
posted by koeselitz at 5:54 PM on June 11, 2005

Yes Paul Lynde is to blame. His influence led me to accept....TELEVISION!
posted by telstar at 6:03 PM on June 11, 2005

In short: If fundies are correct, all the interesting people will be in Hell.

Knowing some caring, committed Christians at my church back home, all of whom are gay and fairly open about it, if quietly so, I can only shake my head in consternation at this demonization of homosexuality. Jesus had a lot more to say about false piety and greed than He did about who puts what where.
posted by alumshubby at 6:35 PM on June 11, 2005

/sniff/ I'm just so bitter and sad about this dark life-style that consumes me, I think I'll spread to others. Being gay is such a bad decisioin, I just can't resist spreading the pain...

Yeah, right. That's it. Why did I never see it before?
posted by gesamtkunstwerk at 6:57 PM on June 11, 2005

The long arm of the Lord.
posted by stbalbach at 7:43 PM on June 11, 2005

And the subversive goal behind Paul Lynde was to make us and our children think that gays were people too.

Huh. So all this time I have been suckered into thinking that gays were people...I'm almost afraid to ask what they really are. Please, please don't tell me that they are really wolverines in human clothing who will rip off their disguises (once their agenda is widespread enough) and gobble us all up! Oh the horror!
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 8:03 PM on June 11, 2005

Cool band name: The Gay Wolverines
posted by telstar at 12:39 AM on June 12, 2005

So, what is this Haterosexual Agenda?
posted by wendell at 10:07 AM on June 12, 2005

It is to spread The Hate, of course. Duh!
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:43 PM on June 12, 2005

Jesus had a lot more to say about false piety and greed than He did about who puts what where.

Amen to that.
posted by psmealey at 6:46 AM on June 13, 2005

Normally, I deride the whole notion of "homophobia" because it simply isn't a phobia, damnit!

But these people sound very afraid.
posted by dreamsign at 8:05 AM on June 13, 2005

I believe the word you're looking for is heterosexism. It's easier to use, and is more reprentative of some of the deriding and nastiness that goes on in the general way. It is the promotion of heterosexual lifestyles and relationships, and the exclusion of other relationships.
posted by malusmoriendumest at 5:41 AM on June 17, 2005