Seperation Bitches

June 14, 2005 10:33 AM

A new flag for a bold new us - The Christian Flag, "The time is right for this dynamic concept. It will be effective when Christians for God and country boldly identify with Christ and each other by flying the U.S. National Christian Flag right under Old Glory to represent Christ as our foundation and Christian heritage."
posted by sourbrew (78 comments total)

It doesn't seem that they are advocating replacing the US flag, but some of the comments seem to suggest that there is certainly a portion of people who would be fine with that. Also i think there is some nasty quicktime music, but firefox doesn't play it for me because my version of quicktime alternative didn't like whatever it was. apologies in advance.
posted by sourbrew at 10:35 AM on June 14, 2005

Why don't they just seced from us already so I can get back to baseball?
posted by jsavimbi at 10:35 AM on June 14, 2005

Can I get this in magnet form? You know, for my SUV?
posted by sdrawkcab at 10:37 AM on June 14, 2005

Well, at least it doesn't have a rebel flag theme to it.
posted by modernerd at 10:38 AM on June 14, 2005

"These colors don't sodomize."
posted by bondcliff at 10:38 AM on June 14, 2005

Tasteful. Eagle. Cross. Stars. Vacuous god-bothering platitude.

It suits 'em.
posted by Decani at 10:39 AM on June 14, 2005

Inappropriate! INAPPROPRIATE!!!
posted by Specklet at 10:40 AM on June 14, 2005

It mentions a couple times a "traditional christian flag" - anyone know what that looks like? Just a cross on a background sorta thing?

They certainly have the right to express themselves as christians, but nationalistic christians seems a little weird. Would they consider themselves separate from the non-american christians of the world? Do they conflate their two affiliations? That would be unfortunate.

I understand if they want to express being patriotic and christian, but then why not just fly the american and a (non-nationalistic) christian flag?
posted by mdn at 10:43 AM on June 14, 2005

what's the matter? the confederate flag's not good enough for them anymore? not enough exclusion or something?
posted by amberglow at 10:43 AM on June 14, 2005

copyrighted?
posted by boo_radley at 10:48 AM on June 14, 2005

"The Pledge of Allegiance

I pledge allegiance, to the Christian Flag,

of the United States of America,

and to the Lord, who made us great and free.

I purpose, to band together, with all believers,

to protect the truth and liberty of God."

"Northeastern Maryland Woman Declares War Against Liberalism!

Called Operation Band Together

On battlefields of old, armies would march into battle with the flag of the nation for which they were fighting. It was carried at the head of the fire line."


The USA has officially jumped the shark
posted by afu at 10:50 AM on June 14, 2005 [1 favorite]

It sort of looks like the eagle (bird of prey) has just swooped in to snatch the helpless cross from it's terrified sprint across the valley floor...
Or is it just me?
posted by cows of industry at 10:51 AM on June 14, 2005

Blessed be the redeemed of the Lord who have NO COLOR SENSE WHATSOEVER.
posted by selfmedicating at 10:53 AM on June 14, 2005

It's awfully busy. And that typeface has got to go. Was Hell-vetica too 'dark-side' for them?
posted by maryh at 10:55 AM on June 14, 2005

are we sure this is not a hoax?
posted by maggiemaggie at 10:56 AM on June 14, 2005

I hear, if you roll it up tight enough, you can shove it right up a fundie's butt and they'll barely even notice.

Its damned ugly and damned stupid but hey, if this is what it takes to break off the USA from the United States of Christian Wackos then so be it. I never wanted to go to Texas again anyway. Or Alabama. Or Oklahomo, sorry, Oklahoma.

Though, truth be told, I was expecting the South Park hanging of the black stick figure flag, that would at least be accurate. Though maybe they should add a hanging gay guy and maybe even an athiest though I don't know how you depict athiesm in a stick figure.
posted by fenriq at 10:57 AM on June 14, 2005

This has Landover Baptist and friends written all over it.
posted by alms at 10:57 AM on June 14, 2005

A terribly badly designed flag. To complex, lots of small text... It sucks. Good flags use simple elements to better symbolic effect.

It's their fucking MIDI on the site that really seals the grave though.
posted by Thoth at 11:00 AM on June 14, 2005

I agree with afu.

But, if they carry it at the head of the fire line, you know where the first shots will land...

Of course, "those battlefields of old" with "fire lines" you're talking about had not much to do with Christianity, since they were all fought after about 1500 CE.

(yes, i'm being facetious)
posted by zoogleplex at 11:01 AM on June 14, 2005

Looks pretty unpatriotic to me - we already have a flag.
posted by caddis at 11:01 AM on June 14, 2005

I'd like to see their national christian version of a patriotic bikini?
posted by funambulist at 11:07 AM on June 14, 2005

This should come with a warning. It played music and crashed my browser.
posted by sveskemus at 11:08 AM on June 14, 2005

When I read Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale, I imagined an American Flag with the fifty stars replaced by fifty tiny crosses. This looks even worse.
posted by alumshubby at 11:10 AM on June 14, 2005

1. That flag is fugly.
2. Our Christian Foundation? I think it goes a little something like this (for starters, at least.)
Maybe I'm wrong; I'm just a crazy progressive liberal heathen.
posted by horseblind at 11:10 AM on June 14, 2005

No More Mr. Nice Blog notes a striking resemblance.
posted by barjo at 11:11 AM on June 14, 2005

funambulist writes "I'd like to see their national christian version of a patriotic bikini?"

I always found it a little funny that people want a constitutional amendment against flag-burning, but they also somehow think that wrapping the flag around one's dirty privates is some sign of respect for it...
posted by clevershark at 11:11 AM on June 14, 2005

Yes, there's already a Christian Flag. (I'd post a picture of it but I don't know how to post pictures to Metafilter.) It's just that it's not properly U.S.A.-centric, y'know. "Gott mit uns!". (Us and nobody else.)

The FOTW site also has a page on the individual flags of various Christian denominations.
posted by davy at 11:14 AM on June 14, 2005

I believe the traditional christian flag as used in the US is a white field with a blue quarter bearing a red cross in it. Think of the US flag. Remove the red stripes. Substitute a red cross for the white stars. That is it.

At least it was always in the SBC churches I attended as a youth.
posted by infowar at 11:15 AM on June 14, 2005

Audio buds in ears, I'm finishing listening to the site's theme song, "I'm an American Christian." I don't know whether to to drop to my knees and make the sign of the cross or snap to attention give a stiff-armed Sieg Heil! salute. The lyrics sound like they were written by a thirteen-year-old girl, the soft-rock music's boring, and the guy's voice sounds like he's been gargling razor blades down in Gatlinburg.
posted by alumshubby at 11:18 AM on June 14, 2005

(Maybe infowar could also use instructions on posting pictures to Metafilter.)
posted by davy at 11:19 AM on June 14, 2005

The has the same problem that a lot of state-flags have-- too complicated. Really, no one will care about your flag unless it's simple enough to draw. Texas is one of the few states to "get it right" on this score. A few stripes, a star, and you're all good. Meanwhile, look at the New Jersey State Flag. It's a mess-- two goddeses, a horse's head, frilly things all around-- no one's going to draw that, or even remember it. Same with the "US Christian Flag." These people can't understand the symbolic and metaphorical, and their art reflects that.

A "traditional Christian flag" might be the banners flown by the Byzantine empire in various situations (the concept of national flags didn't exist back then, but these will have to do).
posted by deanc at 11:20 AM on June 14, 2005

Traditional Christian flag:



Every morning, kindergarten through eighth grade the PA at our private school lead us in a pledge to one hanging next to the American flag in each classroom after saying a pledge to the American flag:

I pledge allegiance to the Christian flag and to the Savior for whose kingdom it stands; one Savior, crucified, risen and coming again,with life and liberty to all who believe.

Additionally, I also frequently was lead to pledge to the Bible:

I Pledge Allegiance to the Bible, God's Holy Word. I will make it a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. I will hide its words in my heart, that I might not sin against God. Amen.

Going to a public high school was something of a (much-needed) culture shock, to say the least.
posted by Ryvar at 11:20 AM on June 14, 2005

From the site in question:

June 13, 2005 Please note: there is clearly confusion among many. This pledge, flag, and it's mission is not to replace our government pledge OR Old Glory. We are NOT trying to overthrow our government or force anyone to be a Christian. We are, however, honoring our LORD and protecting our Christian heritage and liberties. We are allowed to do that under our Constitution. The State cannot dictate to our church that we may not. When that day ever comes, You and I will all be in a desperate condition. May we please agree upon that much?
posted by alumshubby at 11:24 AM on June 14, 2005

That browser-crashing ditty is "American Christian" by Michael Combs (who apparently has something called Lambitis).
posted by droob at 11:26 AM on June 14, 2005

davy thanks for the flag links. They are teh roxors. However, the music on the fugly Christian flag site is teh suxors.
posted by horseblind at 11:26 AM on June 14, 2005

At least these flags will help me identify doors not to knock on while peddling my Satanic ritual accessories.
posted by PhatLobley at 11:27 AM on June 14, 2005

also from Matthew 24:

And Jesus answered and said unto them, Take heed that no man deceive you.

For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many.

and this from our dear president:

"God loves you, and I love you. And you can count on both of us as a powerful message that people who wonder about their future can hear."—Los Angeles, Calif., March 3, 2004
posted by Shike at 11:28 AM on June 14, 2005

Oh, by the way, the original place of publication of the article copied in that "Gott mit uns!" link, the Columbus Free Press, looks interesting too.

(I think I'm through in this thread, really.)
posted by davy at 11:32 AM on June 14, 2005

Oh, and davy/infowar to inline an image in a thread (hint to everyone reading this: inlined images on Metafilter are very much frowned upon unless directly called for as in this thread), just type the following:

<img src="http://www.example.com/path/to/example.jpg">
posted by Ryvar at 11:43 AM on June 14, 2005

Thanks for the info Ryvar, and I promise not to abuse this newfound power!
posted by selfmedicating at 11:46 AM on June 14, 2005

drawkcab: Can I get this in magnet form? You know, for my SUV?

I don't know precisely why, but those 12 words seem (to me at least) to fully articulate everything one could say about that site. Well done!
posted by hrbrmstr at 11:51 AM on June 14, 2005

Is there a shortage of existing flags with crosses in them? Why not just use one of those?

But if it's crosses and birds that you're looking for, then I think we have a winner.
posted by Gamblor at 11:58 AM on June 14, 2005

Looks like a Dominionist banner, what with the scripture advocating for the end times and all.
posted by nofundy at 12:04 PM on June 14, 2005

Hehehe:

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posted by a_day_late at 12:16 PM on June 14, 2005

I suspect it as a hoax if I see they're not asking for money in some way.

But I suppose I'll be slapping on one of these if the trends continue and this becomes....'popular'.

posted by Smedleyman at 12:17 PM on June 14, 2005

Gamblor, thanks for not linking to the Kaiserliche War Ensign; THAT bird looks quite afflicted.

(I know, but I said "I think I'm through"; and look , I didn't inline anything even though I now know how!)
posted by davy at 12:19 PM on June 14, 2005

Odd choice of scripture on the flag. Kind of positions them as a death cult, y'think?
posted by Thorzdad at 12:25 PM on June 14, 2005

Im pretty sure its not a hoax, you can order the flags through the paypal section of the site. Also i again apologize to any of you who got hit by the sound or a crash, but i might also amend that with a suggestion you switch to firefox.

At any rate it doesn't seem that they are trying to replace the national flag, but the users comments section is a disturbing view of a cross section of america, and the predictable liberals flaming the christians.
posted by sourbrew at 12:25 PM on June 14, 2005

The page won't load for me:

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Please contact the billing/support department as soon as possible.

Did metafilter push them over their bandwidth cap?
posted by Derive the Hamiltonian of... at 12:29 PM on June 14, 2005

How does one flag this thread?

Odd choice of scripture on the flag. Kind of positions them as a death cult, y'think?
posted by Thorzdad at 3:25 PM EST

Dominionists, bringin' on the end times baby!!
posted by nofundy at 12:32 PM on June 14, 2005

Oh, a_day_late beat me to it.
posted by Derive the Hamiltonian of... at 12:34 PM on June 14, 2005

There's no such thing as the 'Christian flag'. Not sure who came up with that wacky concept but it certainly wasn't JC or any of his close buddies. There is the 'Crusader's Cross' which some families, at least those who can trace their lines back to a Crusader, still fly.
posted by nixerman at 12:34 PM on June 14, 2005

Does it burn well?
posted by kika at 12:38 PM on June 14, 2005

> Odd choice of scripture on the flag. Kind of positions them as a death cult, y'think?

Yeah -- nation building at its best.
posted by NewBornHippy at 12:45 PM on June 14, 2005

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end of story.
posted by wendell at 12:47 PM on June 14, 2005

Please let this be a hoax, please let this be a hoax, please let this be a hoax ...
posted by kaemaril at 12:50 PM on June 14, 2005

I keep reading: If they hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:52 PM on June 14, 2005

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Yeah, I'd call that "end times, Internet-style."
posted by alumshubby at 12:53 PM on June 14, 2005

Less elegant, more to the point.


posted by CynicalKnight at 12:57 PM on June 14, 2005

google cache for the lazy
posted by vaportrail at 12:59 PM on June 14, 2005

"traditional christian flag"=this
posted by beelzbubba at 1:19 PM on June 14, 2005

See, this sort of thing is the reason Satan invented Photoshop contests.
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:19 PM on June 14, 2005

Those of you hoping for a hoax - sorry, but no. Here's The Baltimore Sun on this story.

According to the article, The 700 Club will devote a segment to this flag on Flag Day -- today's show, in other words. For those of you who really want to get deeply into this.
posted by barjo at 1:34 PM on June 14, 2005

I know where the store that sells these things is located. I used to drive by it all the time. They offer complimentary flag cleaning, which always made me chortle.

"Too busy waving your flag at unclean homos? Got hippie stain on Old Glory? We'll scrub you up and have you on the way to your next protest in no time flat!"
posted by socratic at 1:49 PM on June 14, 2005

So I wonder, is it fireproof?
posted by c13 at 4:27 PM on June 14, 2005

"but the users comments section is a disturbing view of a cross section of america, and the predictable liberals flaming the christians."

Don't start none, won't be none.

I'm pretty friggin' far from liberal and this crap bothers me. I see less of a "homosexual agenda" (for example) than I do of a christian agenda - what with the 700 club and the prostelytizing, etc etc etc.

But as far as I'm concerned - this is just one more example of elitism and one more way to divide people. Not that there aren't homosexuals - to belabor the point - who don't do that (including flying flags - yes that's F.L.A.G.S.) and there are lines of demarcation in Chicago around "Boystown" which I disagree with as well.

Christianity does seem to have a sort of 'If you aren't with us - we will torture you until you are" sort of history.
They're not alone in this of course, but this post is about this particular thing so... what the hell is so 'right' about flying a flag to show your "christian"?
How, exactly, is flying this flag supposed to help anything other than make the bearer feel superior in some way as part of a group?

In what way am I supposed to not be alienated by that?

But, oh yeah, I'm automatically a liberal for feeling like an outsider, uh huh. Well gee, why don't I just convert then? Oh, but I guess I'm only good enough if I stop being a "liberal" right?

I'm only someone's enemy if they make me their enemy, even then I try pretty hard to find common ground.
This to me is a battle flag in a culture war.

(comments not aimed at you directly sourbrew, more the percieved mindset behind the flag)
posted by Smedleyman at 4:56 PM on June 14, 2005

"You shall make no graven image or any likeness of anything in heaven or earth, nor bow down to any such thing"

So they like the Second Amendment, but not the Second Commandment. Or are they just confused?

Or am I missing something?
posted by c13 at 5:11 PM on June 14, 2005

yeah. what a horrible, terrifying scripture choice.
posted by es_de_bah at 5:31 PM on June 14, 2005

Well, I didn't write the damn thing...
posted by c13 at 5:43 PM on June 14, 2005

I bet this flag is hanging in quite a few dorm rooms at that Air Force Academy. : <
posted by amberglow at 6:41 PM on June 14, 2005

thanks for the info on posting pics.

I was pretty sure on how to do it. But I got a rude reply the only time I did so. I was also at work and didn't have time to google some site, but I just had to post.
posted by infowar at 7:51 PM on June 14, 2005

It's not like other groups don't have flags to show other things that are important to them. Eg: rainbow flag, MIA-POW, Elks, Freemasons, local sports teams...
posted by thedevildancedlightly at 10:01 PM on June 14, 2005

I suppose just a cross is not enough...
posted by c13 at 10:12 PM on June 14, 2005

IF this was a serious website, which I doubt (it smells of Swift), flying a Christian banner under the nation's banner would require we do the same for the pagan flag, the aetheist flag, the buddist, muslim, jewish, and agnostic flags, and any other theologies which could develop a potential lobby group in DC. Oh. And a flag. Which flag got higher on the pole would depend on how much money each group could raise for politicians. Cuz hey, capitalism is the American Way.

No. I'm not serious. And, I hope to God, neither is this thread.
posted by ZachsMind at 10:14 PM on June 14, 2005

" Well, I didn't write the damn thing..."

No C13, I think it was Gore that did
posted by Hands of Manos at 11:10 PM on June 14, 2005

It's not like other groups don't have flags to show other things that are important to them
They too are self-important. I get a kick out of hoisting flags sometimes. "Look how friggin' patriotic I am. Look! I served my country!" I don't do it much anymore. Couple a beers on the 4th of July though and....
Nothing REALLY wrong with it in isolation, but it is irksome. I'd rather find ways to connect though.
posted by Smedleyman at 12:12 AM on June 15, 2005

The south had their own flag, too. Look where that led.
posted by deusdiabolus at 1:14 AM on June 15, 2005

I don't remember authorizing any flags.
posted by God Almighty at 5:43 AM on June 15, 2005