FREE NELSON MANDELA!

June 16, 2005 10:06 PM

Michael Jackson's 'innocence' = Nelson Mandela, the fall of the Berlin Wall and more. What, no Moon landing? (warning! Flash, bad loud music, delusions of grandeur and possibly the scariest Michael Jackson link ever: His own website.)
posted by loquacious (43 comments total)

Wheres the best of the web here?
posted by AMWKE at 10:12 PM on June 16, 2005

That's a very good question, and I'm glad you asked.

What are you doing here? Who let you in?
posted by loquacious at 10:16 PM on June 16, 2005

That is delusion taken to new hights. Anybody who considers being aquitted on child molestation charges an accomplishment comparable to going to the moon has a terrifyingly warped world-view.

/me puts on Billy Jean
posted by phrontist at 10:19 PM on June 16, 2005

I don't know how I missed that site in the onslaught of MJ material over the last 18 months. Wait, yes I do. Fun nonetheless for my sleep-deprived and drug-muddled cerebellum.
posted by item at 10:25 PM on June 16, 2005

Is the Moon landing actually referenced in the Flash? If so, I missed it and I looked a few times.

Also, pre-emptively: The poster of this link is in no way liable for any sickness, ruined keyboards, deafness, phossy-jaw or any other ill effects caused by clicking on said link, at all. By clicking on the link you agree to these terms, and also to send me all of your money and beer.
posted by loquacious at 10:25 PM on June 16, 2005

That Flash-fu really is hilariously over the top. It's so... it's so... well, campy and grandiose. MJ always did have a sense of the vacuously symbolic (loved the armbands, girlfriend.) At least the webmaster didn't morph Martin Luther King into Liza or something.

The Michael I miss, though, is the one who had his number on the funk. Off the Wall still kicks ass -- some of those backing tracks sound like Byrne and Eno meet James Brown, and the music is wound so tight it sounds like something's gonna snap. MJ's phrasing on that record is a thing of wonder. But that was long ago.
posted by digaman at 10:26 PM on June 16, 2005

Loquacious, the staticy voice towards the end is an edited clip from a Christmas Eve reading of Genesis by the Apollo 8 crew.

MLKs birthday is in there too. This whole deal doesn't surprise me. I wouldn't be surprised if he attempts to be more visible in the coming year than he was while in court. He's in a bit of debt, and needs to tidy his image with an in your face victory dance to uh.. keep his.. er.. cough, career going, as it were.

MJ, career, heh.
posted by Jack Karaoke at 10:46 PM on June 16, 2005

rofl.

i liked everything up to and including dangerous. after that.... well, he completely lost his mind. i mean he was a little odd before, but...

i am sure in the coming years there will be an album to try and make some money but there is no hope for it at all. the last one was so terrible.

i'll just pretend dangerous was the last the earth ever heard of him because he is only going to get more disturbing at this point
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 10:55 PM on June 16, 2005

Oh, man. Nice ears, Jack Karaoke. I totally missed that.
posted by loquacious at 11:06 PM on June 16, 2005

huge worthless vases in vegas, animals for his zoos, hushmoney for boys

and now a team of flash developers for his (may i say, pretty damn nice) website?

this guy is still burning through money like he's a dotcom.

if he doesnt watch it his wealth is going to be HIStory.
posted by tsarfan at 11:20 PM on June 16, 2005

Nah, he just gets little kids to do his site. Y'know how kids and technology go together.

I don't think he's actually sold off the Beatles catalog yet, has he? He could auction off the rights to individual songs on eBay.

I'd love to see my mom or dad's face as they found the full rights to any Beatle song under the tree as a Christmas gift. I think that they'd either be terrified, overwhelmed or appalled, or all of the above.

But then you could release them as Creative Commons or anti-copyright.
posted by loquacious at 11:42 PM on June 16, 2005

- Martin Luther King's birthday
- Fall of the Berlin Wall
- Nelson Mandela freed
- Crew of Apollo 8 celebrates Christmas in orbit
- Michael Jackson acquitted of child molestation

One of these things is not like the others! One of these things just doesn't belong!
posted by fandango_matt at 11:56 PM on June 16, 2005

But then you could release them as Creative Commons or anti-copyright.

I can just see the look on Paul McCartney's face.
posted by dodgygeezer at 12:09 AM on June 17, 2005

I'm totally clueless about "pop" culture, but was Jackson's (Michael's) last album any good/well received? Has MJ actually done anything redeaming recently or is he just riding whatever he got out of the 80's?
posted by PurplePorpoise at 12:26 AM on June 17, 2005

was Jackson's (Michael's) last album any good/well received?

Wikipedia:
* 1979: Off the Wall (US Sales: 7mil.,World Sales: 19mil.)
* 1982: Thriller (US Sales: 27mil.,World Sales: 59mil.)
* 1987: Bad (US sales: 8mil., World Sales: 28mil.)
* 1991: Dangerous (US Sales: 7mil, World Sales: 29mil.)
* 2001: Invincible (US Sales: 2mil, World Sales: 8mil.)

Interest in Jackson as a musician is fading. He can still sing and dance better than almost anyone, but no one takes him seriously (obviously), mainly because he's too creepy and uncool. Even if you did want to buy a Michael Jackson CD, there's a good chance that you wouldn't have the nerve to put it on the counter at the record store or keep it on your CD rack at home where friends might see it. There can be no positive word of mouth on a guy who is too embarrassing to talk about. It probably hurts him in the business, too; the best people probably don't want to work with him and risk having his creepiness (sounds like a royal title) rub off on their own images.

He needs to become a singer in a band. And not "Michael Jackson and the Strongly Heterosexuals," but just "The Strongly Heterosexuals" with Jackson doing one fifth of the work, getting one fifth of the credit, and not leading the direction of the band.

He also needs to stop taking himself so seriously until [?] other people start taking him seriously again.
posted by pracowity at 1:20 AM on June 17, 2005

I can't actually watch that all the way through. It's horrific.
posted by chrid at 1:54 AM on June 17, 2005

and now a team of flash developers for his (may i say, pretty damn nice) website?

As someone who works in the industry, I'm pretty amazed at the poor quality of the Flash work. At first I assumed this was a cheesy home-made effort from a fan site.

Actually what freaks me out most is the weird vectorised 'victory hand' near the start which seems to be flinging off a big blob of molten flesh...
posted by popkinson at 2:04 AM on June 17, 2005

Who let you in?

That would be good old Honest Abe Lincoln.
posted by shmegegge at 2:11 AM on June 17, 2005

2001: Invincible (US Sales: 2mil, World Sales: 8mil.)

That almost sounds impressive until you realise that Invincible cost about $50 million dollars to make. You can be pretty sure that money wasn't spent on top-notch musicians or songwriters.
posted by dodgygeezer at 2:16 AM on June 17, 2005

I just thought of something. Whoever made this was surely working on it during the trial - I wonder if they made a 'guilty' version as well, just in case... I'd like to see that. Wait, on second thoughts, maybe I wouldn't.
posted by chrid at 3:08 AM on June 17, 2005

A victorious freak is still a freak.
posted by alumshubby at 3:14 AM on June 17, 2005

(A sigh is just a sigh.)
posted by alumshubby at 3:15 AM on June 17, 2005

Trivia. Trivia. Trivia.
posted by homodigitalis at 3:54 AM on June 17, 2005

I heard Tom and Katie got engaged.
posted by fixedgear at 4:28 AM on June 17, 2005

Let me sum this up... who the fuck cares...the guy is an inhuman creep..... can we move on now?
posted by HuronBob at 5:18 AM on June 17, 2005

I don't think he's actually sold off the Beatles catalog yet, has he? He could auction off the rights to individual songs on eBay.

Much the same thought occurred to me yesterday. Jackson needs money, so what if thousands of Beatles fans and copyright reformers chipped in, bought the whole catalog, and released it into the public domain? Heck, we could start the fund drive right here on MeFi.
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:18 AM on June 17, 2005

and then dj dangermouse could actually make money off the gray album! *gasp!*
posted by shmegegge at 5:32 AM on June 17, 2005

This feels kind of dirty, like telling someone without an email account about goatse - but I read an article the other day talking about the catalog. He has the option of selling a stake in it, without selling a song or the catalog outright. So he could still make money off of it, and have control (I suppose), while staving off his creditors.
I guess... I was distracted by a letter on the editorial page of the Daily News about the runaway bride and her new product endorsement deal.
posted by Jack Karaoke at 5:35 AM on June 17, 2005

Jackson needs money, so what if thousands of Beatles fans and copyright reformers chipped in, bought the whole catalog, and released it into the public domain?

what a cool idea. Do people ever buy copyrights that are then released to the public domain?

"Dangerous" was already when MJ was kinda weird, wasn't it? And it did better than "Bad", apparently... But I didn't even know about "Invincible". Did people think the songs themselves were good, regardless of image issues? (I've never been a fan, but am curious)
posted by mdn at 5:47 AM on June 17, 2005

A friend of mine works at a financial firm that helped underwrite Jackson's purchase of the Beatles catalog. He says that it's a caily occurence now for people to sit around and argue about which song they want to claim when the company forecloses.
posted by COBRA! at 6:59 AM on June 17, 2005

We had the smoking gun threads.

We had the trial thread.

We had the official verdict thread. OK, at least now it's ov-

We had a commentary thread after that. OK, at least now -

We have the link to MJ's site. OK, at least...

etc.
posted by soyjoy at 7:17 AM on June 17, 2005

He says that it's a daily occurence now for people to sit around and argue about which song they want to claim when the company forecloses.

Dibs on "Norwegian Wood"!
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:31 AM on June 17, 2005

This creepster gets the innocent verdict, gets a very special very abhorrent flash made for his sight, and all you guys can talk about are the rights to a bunch of music made by some british megalomaniac and three other dapper fellows?

I'm placing my stake on Revolution Number 9!
posted by chibikeandy at 7:52 AM on June 17, 2005

I don't care that much about MJ, but I have to say that site is mindfucking.
posted by fungible at 8:02 AM on June 17, 2005

What ever happened to Bubbles?
posted by Jack Karaoke at 8:39 AM on June 17, 2005

wait, don't you mean kidfucking? oh wait.... he's innocent.
posted by chibikeandy at 8:39 AM on June 17, 2005

He may have been found not guilty, but I think he's a loooong way from innocent.
posted by alumshubby at 9:06 AM on June 17, 2005

posted by Jack Karaoke:What ever happened to Bubbles?

Bubbles left Neverland when Michael Jackson found young boys were easier and more socially acceptable to sleep with. Also, Bubbles liked to fling poo during Rubba-Rubba.

I know, I know, I'm going straight to hell. I'll save you all seats!
posted by fandango_matt at 9:40 AM on June 17, 2005

Dibs on "Norwegian Wood"!

I think a guy in Accounting already nabbed it. I'll talk to my friend and see if I can hook you up with "Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite" or something, though.
posted by COBRA! at 9:44 AM on June 17, 2005

Dibs on You've Got to Hide Your Love Away.
posted by shmegegge at 11:33 AM on June 17, 2005

I don’t wanna
I don’t wanna
I don’t wanna
Hear it
Give it to the fire
Talk to me woman
Quench my desire
I don’t like a lady
Talk to me baby
Give in to me
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 11:43 AM on June 17, 2005

We can have anything in The Beatles catalogue but MJ gets to hold on to Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except Me And My Monkey
posted by dodgygeezer at 3:12 AM on June 18, 2005

You all forgot about "Blood on the Dance Floor", which came out between Dangerous and Invincible. At the height of MJs wackyness was "HIStory" which was mostly a re-packaging of his older music, with one or two new songs (including the once infamous, now just famous, "Dom Sheldon", which would be "Tom Sneddon" to those with a half decent ear).
posted by shepd at 11:45 AM on June 20, 2005