Mayo from 1951? Hmmmmm!
June 20, 2005 1:00 PM   Subscribe

How long stuff lasts. So I guess I can have that mayo, honey and anti-freeze sandwich now? Or any time for that matter.
posted by KevinSkomsvold (42 comments total)
 
No effing way! I've been wanting something like this for ages, Kevin, you are a GOD! Seriously.

And I'm glad I wasn't the one who had to test each one to see if they were still okay to eat! What a crappy job that must have been (har har har!).
posted by fenriq at 1:03 PM on June 20, 2005


Beer - Unopened: 4 months.

Yeah. Like that'll ever happen.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 1:10 PM on June 20, 2005


How the heck did they figure out that steak sauce lasts 33 months? I mean, that's two years and nine months. Not three years, not two and a half years, but precisely 33 months. Weird.
posted by gwenzel at 1:14 PM on June 20, 2005


I've drank beer that's much older than four months...
posted by glider at 1:20 PM on June 20, 2005


Is today, like, WaxyFilter day? I've seen, like, three of today's posts in his WaxyLinks feed.

Not complainin'. Just sayin'.
posted by Speck at 1:26 PM on June 20, 2005


Oops. I meant WaxyLinks.
posted by Speck at 1:27 PM on June 20, 2005


So, what happens when laundry detergent "goes bad"? Seriously. Does it become less effective? Does it stink? Does it eat away at your delicate unmentionables?
posted by Dr. Wu at 1:28 PM on June 20, 2005


So let me get this straight... they explicitly state that some foods should be refrigerated after opening (wine and salad dressing), thus implying that others do not need refrigeration (tuna and mayonnaise)? Somehow I don't like the idea of eating tuna that's been sitting on the counter for 3-4 days. I don't think I will trust my beleaguered stomach lining to this website. :)
posted by warby at 1:30 PM on June 20, 2005


Archaeologists found some three thousand year-old honey in an Egyptian tomb. I want to know who tasted it.

There's a user named Speck? Am I somehow diminished now?
posted by Specklet at 1:35 PM on June 20, 2005


Interesting. Can someone explain why diet soda would last only 3 months while regular would last 9 months?
posted by Stauf at 1:40 PM on June 20, 2005


Aspartame breaks down relatively quickly, Stauf.
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:49 PM on June 20, 2005


Aspartame (aka Nutrasweet) loses its sweetness faster than good ol' high fructose corn syrup. I discovered this the hard way when I drank a 2 year old Diet Pepsi found in the back of my grandmothers fridge. Check them "born on" dates.
posted by itchylick at 1:57 PM on June 20, 2005


I disagree with the 4 months on beer. Some fine beers like imperial stouts, tripels, barely wines, and others, get better with age, like wine. I brewed an imperial stout several months ago that isn't even going to get touched until next winter.
posted by jclovebrew at 2:04 PM on June 20, 2005


If mayo is off color and tastes different, I don't care what this website says - I'm not eating it.
posted by gfrobe at 2:04 PM on June 20, 2005


Honey - Indefinite shelf life
Sweet!
posted by grateful at 2:05 PM on June 20, 2005


If mayo is off color and tastes different, I don't care what this website says - I'm not eating it.
posted by gfrobe at 4:04 PM CST on June 20


Mayo merely has to exist for me not to eat it. Foul, foul stuff it be. Satan's own condiment!
posted by Dr. Wu at 2:07 PM on June 20, 2005


I drank a five-year old Sharps (beer with training wheels) last week after eating half a bag of fresh Cheetos. Tasted pretty damn good too although it did border on zebra urine.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 2:08 PM on June 20, 2005


If mayo is off color and tastes different, I don't care what this website says - I'm not eating it.

Heh. I remember as a child, my insane mother would give us dire warnings about leaving the cover off the mayo jar. I grew up convinced that leaving the cover off for anything more than a minute was akin to cultivating anthrax spores.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 2:11 PM on June 20, 2005


The problem I have with this information is there is no consistent "standard temperature and pressure" noted. For example, is the shelf life of ketchup is listed at 4-6 months... but is that 4-6 months on my counter, in my refrigerator (where I always keep mine), or sitting out on the picnic table in the hot sun all summer?
posted by Pokeyzilla at 2:12 PM on June 20, 2005


Don't trust the listings for food more than you trust your nose and tastebuds, obviously, but I think the site is great for things like shampoo, toothpaste, etc. Who hasn't found a bottle of cleaning sln. under the sink and wondered if it was any better than water at this point?
posted by muddgirl at 2:19 PM on June 20, 2005


Mayonnaise, Unopened: Indefinitely
Honey, Indefinite shelf life

Fantastic. Now I know what to stock my bomb shelter with. If the radiation doesn't get me, it will be cholesterol poisoning or diabetic shock.
posted by Gamblor at 2:21 PM on June 20, 2005


Periodic table of condiments.
posted by Eideteker at 2:28 PM on June 20, 2005


Vinegar - 42 months

I hate it when my vinegar goes bad and turns into wine.
posted by Eideteker at 2:34 PM on June 20, 2005


Awsome Eideteker!! I'm so putting that on my fridge.

I recently learned that organic milk lasts longer than conventional milk.
posted by elwoodwiles at 2:43 PM on June 20, 2005


I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one utterly grossed out by mayonnaise. It is a noxious and grotesque instrument of the Devil. Fat mixed with fat is nasty.

elwoodwiles, and orgasmic milk doesn't last anywhere near long enough! Hahahaha.
posted by fenriq at 2:46 PM on June 20, 2005


Only 6m for opened laundry detergent? That's certainly not what I want to hear.

It's not in the list, but the good folks at P&G says Downy fabric softener is good for 1 year.
posted by of strange foe at 2:52 PM on June 20, 2005


The table of condiments that periodically go bad is also here.

*sniffs*

Still seems fresh to me.
posted by carter at 3:09 PM on June 20, 2005


This would be great if there was any apparent justification whatsoever for the statements they make...

1 year for dried noodles? I've eaten dried noodles that were years old! Similar for white rice, although you can see it age a little.

Bleach at 6 months? How does sodium hypochlorite, NaOCl, break down sitting in a plastic bottle exactly?

It sounds to me like they are just regurgitating the manufacturer recommendations in most cases. Hardly useful information as far as I can see. To bad though, I would love to have a dependable resource like this!
posted by Chuckles at 3:17 PM on June 20, 2005


I have a jar of Wright's Silver Cream that is near archaeological age. Since it is messy to polish off, I only use it when I am out of more user-friendly products. It will be dried out, but a sprinkling of warm water revivifies it and it works as well as ever.
posted by Cranberry at 3:25 PM on June 20, 2005


Unopened: Indefinitely
Opened: 2 to 3 months from “purchase by” date


Ok, aside from the (arguable) implicit ickiness of mayo, how on earth does sealing things in a jar make them invincible? Frankly I don't understand it about canned veggies either, but to keep an egg-based product around, unrefrigerated, for any period of times just seems ungodly and I can't imagine that it's safe. Weird.
posted by rkent at 4:08 PM on June 20, 2005


Bleach at 6 months? How does sodium hypochlorite, NaOCl, break down sitting in a plastic bottle exactly?

I thought there was something added to bleach to keep it -- what? not stable, but something -- metal or the like.
posted by boo_radley at 4:18 PM on June 20, 2005


I recently learned that organic milk lasts longer than conventional milk.
So, "conventional" milk is not organic? Inorganic?

rkent - if you can completely exclude air, you can keep anything fresh for long periods (well, almost anything - doesn't work with people or kittens).
posted by dg at 4:49 PM on June 20, 2005


Chuckles, word. The fourth time you read that stock phrase "flavor may be affected but..." the credibility is already dead.
posted by gorgor_balabala at 5:11 PM on June 20, 2005


dg: Yeah, I wasn't entirely sure how to phrase that. Instead of "conventional" I had "traditional," but then thought that organic products are traditional too, if not more so. Then I wanted to write "processed," but doesn't work either. Finally, "conventional" sounded better than "standard." I don't like "regular" either, sounds too much like gasoline.

doesn't work with people or kittens
*Realizes I've made a terrible, terrible mistake.*
posted by elwoodwiles at 5:38 PM on June 20, 2005


I'd bet dollars to donuts (and how long do they last?) you mayo haters all like Miracle Whip.
*shudder*
posted by deborah at 5:39 PM on June 20, 2005


deborah, you owe me some donuts! Miracle Whip is even more horrific: a wretched, pale (ha!) imitation of a thing that's already hellishly vile to begin with. My own personal hell is amply stocked with these fiendish condiments.
posted by Dr. Wu at 5:49 PM on June 20, 2005


elwoodwiles - that is a personal thing with me - it annoys me when food grown in particular ways is described as being "organic", as if the same food grown with the assistance of man-made versions of natural substances are somehow "not organic". Don't pay too much attention to it.
posted by dg at 5:49 PM on June 20, 2005


I can assure you opened soda truly does spoil, unlike what "Real Simple" says. I left an opened pepsi on my desk for about 2 weeks (can't remember why). I then opened a fresh pepsi. Mixed the cans up by accident. Drank from the wrong one. Wondered what the chunks were. Spilled it out into the sink.

EWWW! GREEN MOLDS! HELP!

This incident doesn't insipre confidence in my trusting their list.
posted by shepd at 9:34 PM on June 20, 2005


No clue about spaghetti sauce, though? 'Cause I like the sauce, I do.
posted by Poagao at 11:49 PM on June 20, 2005


well, almost anything - doesn't work with people or kittens

Not that it hasn't been tried.

if you can completely exclude air, you can keep anything fresh for long periods

But, before you go "vacume sealing" all your food, remember; beware the botulinum!
posted by Pollomacho at 6:12 AM on June 21, 2005


Um, make that vacuum sealing. Wow, spell check much?
posted by Pollomacho at 6:13 AM on June 21, 2005


A while back, I found an old can of sardines in water that had been purchased years ago. In the Name of Science I decided to eat them. They were kind of tasteless, but I didn't die or anything, so I assume they were nutritious.

/One day darwin might catch up with me, but not today :)
posted by -harlequin- at 12:23 AM on June 22, 2005


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