Join 3,572 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)


SuperDork Guitar Techniques
June 22, 2005 9:14 AM   Subscribe

Learn to Play Guitar like a SuperDork. Can't. . . not. . . look. Don't miss the links in the comments.
posted by spock (29 comments total)

 
Now, see, the tapping is sooo boring. It's the sweeping which rocks. And the haircut, obviously.

Come on, is there anyone still prepared to admit to liking this sad-boy-who-spent-too-long-in-the-bedroom wankery? Back in 1984 I actually learned to play the intro to "Hot For Teacher" just so I could do it in front of the absurd metal geeks I knew and then say "That's how bozos play guitar. This is how people who know what real rock music is play guitar". And then I'd give 'em a blast of James Williamson style electroshock.

Needless to say, they didn't get it. Those people are all successful businessmen now. Ironically, so is James Williamson. I love how weird life is.
posted by Decani at 9:35 AM on June 22, 2005


He looks like Robert Carradine with a really bad bowl cut.

The person who made this comment obviously never saw this post.
posted by iconomy at 9:39 AM on June 22, 2005


*holds up flaming cigarette lighter*
posted by Rothko at 10:05 AM on June 22, 2005


this michael angelo dork was just on metafilter a few weeks ago.
posted by quonsar at 10:40 AM on June 22, 2005


"This is how people who know what real rock music is play guitar".

OH great knowledgeable one, please bestow upon us your wisdom and authority and let us stop bowing to false idols and embrace your one true and only rock.

I hate that attitude. It's like saying anyone who uses watercolors isn't a real artist. It's the execution, not the materials. Alex Leifson used plenty of tapping, and anyone who thinks Rush isn't 'real rock', whatever the hell that means, can bite me. And Hot For Teacher isn't exactly where this technique was pioneered. Van Halen I is a great album.

Anyway, this link is hilarious, as are the comments. My fave:

"The synth equivalent would be to slap your dick across the keyboard, bouncing it on the keys at high velocity - i would send you a video except i've only just finished cleaning it after last time!"

Also a great slap down of Edgar Winter: he's a scientologist!
posted by spicynuts at 11:10 AM on June 22, 2005


Hater: A person who feels anger and/or jealousy for someone who has succeeded in something they have worked hard for.

I wonder why links like this inspire so much invective. I think it's because of the popularity of the guitar as an instrument and the relatively low skill level required to play most rock / pop / blues.

Whereas a beginning guitar player would need a few months of practice to be able to play through lots of popular rock songs, a beginning piano or violin player would need years of dedicated practice to be able to adequately play a standard classical or jazz repertoire. So a lot of people pick up a guitar, learn the rudimentary skills required to play the songs they like, and stop there. Then they resent people with more well-rounded technical abilities.

Techniques like string skipping, arpeggios, and two-hand tapping are perfectly valid and required for certain songs and any guitar player that considers himself technically competent should be able to perform them without any problems.
posted by driveler at 11:15 AM on June 22, 2005


RE - U -NITRO!!!!!
posted by hellbient at 11:17 AM on June 22, 2005


anyone who thinks Rush isn't 'real rock', whatever the hell that means, can bite me.

*chomp*. Eww. Did you shower today?

And Hot For Teacher isn't exactly where this technique was pioneered.

And nowhere did I say that it was.

Van Halen I is a great album

And nowhere did I say that it isn't.

I guess you really rate old bowl cut and his flying fingers, eh spicynuts? Well, you go, son. Meanwhile those of us with a bit of taste will take Bo Diddley over Bo Diddlydiddlydiddlydiddlydiddly. Rock AWN!
posted by Decani at 11:51 AM on June 22, 2005


Driveler: It seems far more likely that the hate comes from people who spend years of dedicated practice learning how to play technically complex heavy metal pieces, only to be ignored in favor of the floppy haired guy who can play the opening bit to "Everybody Hurts."

I'm not saying your chops aren't fresh, I'm just saying I don't think your average dabbler looks up at you with seething envy and jealousy.
posted by Simon! at 11:51 AM on June 22, 2005


Decani : "[I'd] say 'That's how bozos play guitar. This is how people who know what real rock music is play guitar'"

Wow...I can't decide if that line is more or less dorky than the guy tapping in the link. They're pretty close.
posted by Bugbread at 11:59 AM on June 22, 2005


We've had the guitar dork links on here before, but this guy -- he's actually not that bad. Yes, his music sucks, but he's good at it, he doesn't go overboard with the fretboard bullshit, he actually knows how to play notes. So, not worth the snarkery.
posted by fungible at 12:06 PM on June 22, 2005


Ooh, i just tried this tapping tutorial on my cheapo electric guitar. Turns out you need some kind of super strong elastic fingers to generate enough force especially for the pinky. However I wasn't using distortion. Maybe it's time to re-install Garageband for those guitar amp effects...
posted by snoktruix at 12:12 PM on June 22, 2005


Meanwhile those of us with a bit of taste will take Bo Diddley over Bo Diddlydiddlydiddlydiddlydiddly. Rock AWN!

Oh, so real rock starts and ends with Bo, Muddy Waters, Lightnin Hopkins, John Lee Hooker and oh, let me guess, Captain Beefheart?

It's your holier than thou guardian of real taste attitude that I object to, not your characterization of this guy as cheesy. Such a narrow spectrum of stuff you allow yourself to enjoy. I'm happy I'm not bound by such a restrictive definition of what good music is.

So now do we argue who has the more extensive record collection or do you want to just whip our cocks out and see who wins that way?
posted by spicynuts at 12:22 PM on June 22, 2005


Pretty much all guitar playing is wankery. That's why it's shaped like a big dick.
posted by speicus at 12:25 PM on June 22, 2005


I don't get all the mocking, he's actually pretty good. OK he looks kinda doofy but we've all seen much worse.

Anyway, the only redeeming part of this thread is that it led me to this disturbing video.
posted by knave at 12:27 PM on June 22, 2005


Wow! If I could only team him up with Buddy Rich, Victor Wooten, Rick Wakeman, and Bob Dylan it would truly be Teh Bestest Band Evar!
posted by sourwookie at 12:32 PM on June 22, 2005


I'm with fungible - this guy wasn't that bad. The link promised that he would "spaz out." I didn't really see that. I just saw a guy with a bad haircut who knew some good guitar tricks.
posted by kanewai at 12:39 PM on June 22, 2005


This is Michael Angelo, as noted in some of the comments. A friend of mine who had the self-professed goal of being "the cheesiest guitarist in the world" owned everything he ever played on, including his 4-necked guitar stuff. The singer for his band Nitro had a 5-octave vocal range, or so the bio said. You really don't get the full dose without knowing the debut album was called O.F.R. (Out Fucking-Rageous), the lead singer was Jim Gillette with mane of fantastically bleached fluff, and oh.. here's a much longer, better video of Mr. Angelo playing on the Dean guitars site.

Do you think the hate on tapping comes from crappy speed obsessed soul sucking banal guitar wanking? Tapping happens to be useful for that. Useful for other stuff? Without a doubt, but still great for a shot of pure theatrics.

I had a germinating theory about musicianship going in and out of style, but by the mid 90s it seemed as though mainstream music was splintering in too many layers and directions to be so easily charted. Roughly, mid-60s had a share of garage-rock bands, technical guitar was important towards '69 through mid 70s, punk had a lot of rough edges, new wave and all varieties of metal emphasized technique, 90s rock was notable for an appreciation of crappy guitar playing. Roughly, very roughly. There are contradictions and overlaps, but I was intrigued by the idea of alternating general trends, as though people got sick of one thing long enough to embrace it's alternate. Perhaps someone with a degree in Rush studies could opine on how their style changed from 76-84, but not me.
posted by Jack Karaoke at 12:51 PM on June 22, 2005


Damn. That Dean guitars video is great. How does he make the guitar change colors like that?
posted by spock at 1:15 PM on June 22, 2005


Knave, that's just about the single scariest thing I've ever seen or heard.
posted by doctor_negative at 1:31 PM on June 22, 2005


My snarkometer is broken. Better video = more shredding, more close-ups of said blazing hot shredding action, but there are no bone crunching lows. If you watch long enough, the guitar changes shape too, neat trick.
posted by Jack Karaoke at 1:33 PM on June 22, 2005


Here's what awesome tapping looks and sounds like.
posted by faux ami at 1:36 PM on June 22, 2005


More soul on rhythm guitar. Deep like whoa!
posted by foot at 1:42 PM on June 22, 2005


ready boys?

guitar wanking from a woman (!)
on the a/v page check out any of the videos
[warning: flash w/ music.....good music.]

posted by carsonb at 4:59 PM on June 22, 2005


Wow...I can't decide if that line is more or less dorky than the guy tapping in the link. They're pretty close.

Well, I can see how you'd think that if you were entirely incapable of detecting irony. Say... you're not American by any chance, are you? Just askin'.
posted by Decani at 5:02 PM on June 22, 2005


Oh, so real rock starts and ends with Bo, Muddy Waters, Lightnin Hopkins, John Lee Hooker and oh, let me guess, Captain Beefheart?

I don't think I said that, did I? No... I didn't. I checked. So who did say that? Oh... I see. You did.

Enjoy your straw men, dearie. They're always comforting when you need something to beat on because some nasty person expressed a negative opinion about something you like, aren't they? Especially if you play guitar like a humungous anus, I imagine. That's pure conjecture on my part, though, I admit.
posted by Decani at 5:06 PM on June 22, 2005


Decani : "Say... you're not American by any chance, are you? Just askin'."

You're not going to catch me with that one again, I know what you're up to: that was an ironic way of saying I'm not American, wasn't it. I know all about y'all and your irony.
posted by Bugbread at 6:10 PM on June 22, 2005


Didn't realize there were so many frustrated musicians around here.
posted by bardic at 6:43 PM on June 22, 2005


The wankery was actually him hitting the back of the neck--it's not "spazzing". The guy's arpeggios were really clean. I don't see what the fuss is all about. I mean, it's not terribly inspiring, musically, but it's an instructional video for chrissake.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 11:14 PM on June 22, 2005


« Older Reason #48713 for teaching the Bible in schools:...   |   Wi-Fi Thank You... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments