Comments on: Vinegar Boy

Vinegar Boy

bluehermit — Tue, 19 Jul 2005 17:54:03 -0800

The "Vinegar Boy" Saga, as told by Aaron The tale about how one bottle of malt vinegar caused an uproar of controversy

By: fire&wings

fire&wings — Tue, 19 Jul 2005 18:01:33 -0800

I was hoping this would resolve itself in one page. Not so, alas, tl:dr

By: scody

scody — Tue, 19 Jul 2005 18:32:01 -0800

Heh. It actually works out to be an employee's dream come true -- idiot customers don't get any satisfaction; incompetent and hostile managers get what's coming to them; employee gets raise for having to put up with their shit in the first place. If only most other workplace hassles were resolved so righteously.

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 19 Jul 2005 18:35:18 -0800

A thoroughly enjoyable read! Schadenfraude at its best!

By: Effigy2000

Effigy2000 — Tue, 19 Jul 2005 18:35:35 -0800

Spoiler alert. Snape kills Vinegar Boy.

By: longsleeves

longsleeves — Tue, 19 Jul 2005 18:56:26 -0800

Scody - Thanks for reading through and confirming where the story was headed. It should be made into a musical. It's already a fantasy. Seriously, some great show tunes must be lurking here.... " My Mom" If your mom Was as crazy as my mom And your dad was sheer useless You'd drink vinegar too. It was a Suicide rehearsal/attempt But my mother Has not a clue

By: dobbs

dobbs — Tue, 19 Jul 2005 19:05:33 -0800

I assume Vinegar Boy mistook Malt Vinegar for Malt Liquor.

By: Balisong

Balisong — Tue, 19 Jul 2005 19:10:41 -0800

MMMmmm... Malt. One of nature's greatest inventions. Used in milk and ice cream products, as well as BEER!

By: jrossi4r

jrossi4r — Tue, 19 Jul 2005 19:15:54 -0800

Q: What kind of kid is stupid enough to drink half a bottle of malt vinegar? A: One raised by a mother dumb enough to blame the clerk who sold it to him.

By: clevershark

clevershark — Tue, 19 Jul 2005 19:22:26 -0800

Touché, jrossi4r.

By: CrayDrygu

CrayDrygu — Tue, 19 Jul 2005 19:48:02 -0800

Ah, I've been a reader of both Metafilter and the Customers Suck website for a long time, and it never occured to me to post the Vinegar Boy story here. Sadly, the original thread is long gone, so all the original commentary is lost. But this story is our "epic tale" over at CS, because (as scody said above), it's just so perfect.

By: Ynoxas

Ynoxas — Tue, 19 Jul 2005 20:45:53 -0800

Vinegar Boy would be a great band name.

By: GriffX

GriffX — Tue, 19 Jul 2005 21:20:39 -0800

Such a happy ending, thanks for posting this!

By: nkyad

nkyad — Tue, 19 Jul 2005 21:30:35 -0800

Ynoxas writes "Vinegar Boy would be a great band name." Vinegar Boy and the Clueless Territory Managers Vinegar Boy and the Dumb Teenage Mothers Vinegar Boy and the Aarons that Could And by the way, very nice read, thank you, bluehermit!

By: Goofyy

Goofyy — Tue, 19 Jul 2005 21:31:15 -0800

I drank vinegar once. But I'm an American, and it was distilled vinegar. But I had my 'reasons'. I was also quite young. I had read a story where someone had to drink something terrible, and keep it down. It was a sort of test. I decided to try myself, and vinegar seemed as vile as anything available. I was clueless! I drank only a half glass. But I downed it in a few gulps, all at once. Ta da! Look at me! I'm ST.... uh... I was standing about 5 paces from the toilet a the time. I didn't make it that far. Truly learned why 'hurl' is sometimes the right word. But there were no lasting side effects. Just a spectacular hurling of chunks into the bathroom sink. And I got to clean it up, too! Because, of course, The Mother wasn't home (else I'd not have been horsing around like a dumb shit, drinking vinegar). hyuk hyuk hyuk

By: nkyad

nkyad — Tue, 19 Jul 2005 21:38:03 -0800

Goofyy, in my country we have an old folk recipe you drink when you need to throw up (having, for instance, eaten something rotten and being away from a hospital): half a cup of warm water, half a cup of vinegar and salt.

By: pointilist

pointilist — Tue, 19 Jul 2005 22:01:34 -0800

I loved this story. Right triumphs and all. dobbs- agree that vinegar boy thought he was liquor boy.

By: drezdn

drezdn — Tue, 19 Jul 2005 23:23:07 -0800

I rarely have customers complain about my actions but I despise managers who cave in to irrational customers (as in the example above).

By: Pretty_Generic

Pretty_Generic — Tue, 19 Jul 2005 23:53:16 -0800

Beautiful.

By: chrid

chrid — Wed, 20 Jul 2005 01:26:59 -0800

Really great story, well worth reading all the way through.

By: Pinback

Pinback — Wed, 20 Jul 2005 03:21:54 -0800

fire&wings: If it wasn't for his union, it would have been over in one page. As much as unions may be corrupt, stifling, hidebound organisations intent on depriving good, honest employers from taking full advantage of all their assets and opportunites, sometimes they are necessary...

By: dabitch

dabitch — Wed, 20 Jul 2005 04:17:33 -0800

Amen. Great story.

By: Faint of Butt

Faint of Butt — Wed, 20 Jul 2005 04:27:34 -0800

Another funny thing about all this is that you can drink vinegar. The best way to sample and savor the flavor of the finest aged balsamic is to take small sips of the straight stuff.

By: ph00dz

ph00dz — Wed, 20 Jul 2005 05:01:53 -0800

So... australia pretty much has the same type of liability as the US when it comes to corporate apologies and whatnot?

By: robocop is bleeding

robocop is bleeding — Wed, 20 Jul 2005 06:37:57 -0800

As a night of drinking wound on, we decided to bet my friend Joe that he could not drink a bottle of malt vinegar that was sitting on the table. After ponying up something like 40 bucks for him to do it, he agreed. He then went to the bathroom to prepare himself. Meanwhile, one of the other friends, Josh, who knew the bar, owner went up to the bar, emptied another bottle of malt vinegar, rinsed it, and filled it with cola. When Joe returned from the bathroom, we informed him that there was no way he should drink this alone and that Josh would be racing him. I took the two bottles, doctored and plain, and set them down in front of their respective drinkers (Josh was worried I would double cross him and give him a real bottle, but I figured there was enough treachery that evening) and they were off! Joe glugged and gagged his way through his bottle, while Josh gave a fair impression that he was doing the same (he was actually trying to keep from laughing). Joe finished, and Josh did not. Joe was awarded his 40 bucks, then offered an extra 10 or so to make it an even 50 if he would finish Josh's last swallow. Joe did so. The look on his face when he realized it was cola, not vinegar, was priceless. He might have been mad, but at that point the fact that he had drunk a bottle of malt vinegar set in with his digestive system and he fled to spend some time back in the bathroom. Good times, good times. I don't know what it is about the combination of beer, twenty-something guys, and stupid bets that makes magic. Could it be our inherent stupidity and immaturity? I sure hope so!

By: alumshubby

alumshubby — Wed, 20 Jul 2005 07:11:22 -0800

My dad grew up on a farm, and he was one of those people who swear by folk remedies based on honey and vinegar. From him, I've learned that thoroughly diluted vinegar -- say, a tablespoon in a glass of water -- is a good treatment for dyspepsia. (Or maybe what's really helping is the fact that I lie down with my eyes closed for a while after taking it.)

By: TedW

TedW — Wed, 20 Jul 2005 10:24:16 -0800

I wonder if V.B. was trying to pass a drug test. (Scroll down to 6.3)

By: flagellum

flagellum — Wed, 20 Jul 2005 11:01:23 -0800

Some more ideas for fun and excitement with this magic elixir (vinegar boy rejoice!)

By: HuronBob

HuronBob — Wed, 20 Jul 2005 11:38:19 -0800

Did Kevin Smith write this??

By: raedyn

raedyn — Wed, 20 Jul 2005 11:52:18 -0800

Q: What kind of kid is stupid enough to drink half a bottle of malt vinegar? A: One raised by a mother dumb enough to blame the clerk who sold it to him. - jrossi4r Originally, I was going to say zing! But then I thought about it. And it's just true.

By: hal9k

hal9k — Wed, 20 Jul 2005 12:09:32 -0800

Computer, what's the closest equivalent to baking soda in an over-the-counter tablet? Tums? "Yo, Vinegar Boy, you don't look so good. Here. Swallow these to help settle your stomach." (then RUN!)

By: mygothlaundry

mygothlaundry — Wed, 20 Jul 2005 14:45:48 -0800

I figured out I was pregnant when I started craving - and drinking, with no ill effects - malt vinegar. Yum!