And have you SEEN what the King of All Cosmos is wearing?

July 22, 2005 2:18 PM

Oh great merciful heavens!Who, oh who, will protect the dear children from the rampant sexual content that lies buried in... The Sims 2? According to Miami attorney Jack Thompson, it's worse than the now-infamous Hot Coffee mod for Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas that Hillary Clinton has made such a fuss about.

His claim is that behind the pixellated screen placed by the game in front of nude characters is full, anatomically-correct, genital detail, and a cheat code can remove that easily. Electronic Arts maintains that behind the screen is only Ken-And-Barbie smoothness. (Should be easy enough to check out, anyone?)
posted by JHarris (77 comments total)

BTW, I'm really depressed that it's Hillary that's been making such a fuss over the GTA thing. I'm starting to really wish the Democrats, for a while now the Party of Not Evil, would look elsewhere for a candidate in 2008....
posted by JHarris at 2:21 PM on July 22, 2005

Florida. 'Nuf said. [/fark]
posted by ZenMasterThis at 2:26 PM on July 22, 2005

sounds like another job for matteo. keeping our eyeballs safe since, oh, an hour or two ago.
posted by andrew cooke at 2:28 PM on July 22, 2005

Hillary will never get the nomination. Never. Never. Never. So get over it.
posted by warbaby at 2:31 PM on July 22, 2005

Good thing I already own both San Andreas and Sims 2.... They should both turn a tidy profit on Ebay.

Let's not show these poor sods a Hentai "dating sim" their heads may explode.
posted by davros42 at 2:37 PM on July 22, 2005

This was in the first game, and unless they changed anything, EA is right.

It's also absurd to call this "worse" than the Hot Coffee thing, although I still think that I'd be a lot more likely to rate the content in San Andreas AO based on the violence rather than an obscured sex simulator.

Sims kids can also be nudified, "much to the delight, one can be sure, of pedophiles around the globe who can rehearse, in virtual reality, for their abuse."

This comment in particular was almost comical. Next, we will outlaw all visual thought - we certainly don't want pedophiles rehearsing, after all, for their abuse, in any medium.

The absurd fear of nudism is what I think stands out most here - these assholes would be much funnier if it weren't for the scary fact that they're SUCCEEDING.
posted by invitapriore at 2:39 PM on July 22, 2005

Some people REALLY need to get a life... For fuck's sake....
posted by Debaser626 at 2:44 PM on July 22, 2005

Ban barbie!!!
posted by KirkJobSluder at 2:45 PM on July 22, 2005

Warbaby: Interesting. What makes you say that? Do you have someone else in mind?
posted by The Bellman at 2:45 PM on July 22, 2005

This comment in particular was almost comical.

Absolutely, invitapriore. Well, maybe not comical -- possibly insidious. The repression of all sexuality by the American ruling class...yippee! Next they'll be suing Nintendo for not putting pants on the Pikachu. And don't you think Princess Toadstool's hemline is a getting a liiiiitle too high...?
posted by ford and the prefects at 2:47 PM on July 22, 2005

Derail coming in 5 ... 4 ... 3 ...
posted by ZenMasterThis at 2:47 PM on July 22, 2005

i think we need to start a massive email campaign to send this guy drawings of penises. (with his face on them?) who's with me?
posted by TechnoLustLuddite at 2:47 PM on July 22, 2005

On the Hilary derail: all the conservative talk show hosts seem to be playing up the idea that the Dems will nominate Hilary in '08. It energizes their base, because conservatives _hate_ Hilary. The problem with this is that a lot of liberals and moderates aren't too fond of Hilary, either, which is why I have to agree with warbaby, it just ain't gonna happen. It's a bunch of Limbaugh-Savage-Hannity hype.
posted by gurple at 2:49 PM on July 22, 2005

Oh my god this is insane. Sims2 characters are all built like barbie and ken, even if you use the cheat code to remove the pixelated blur over their so called genital regions. The only way you can have anatomically correct sims is if you replace the default skins with user created ones.

I suppose they think it's "worse" than the other game because sims can "woohoo", ie: bounce around under the covers of their beds, for fun or for prosimcreation.
posted by zarah at 2:49 PM on July 22, 2005

The repression of all sexuality by the American ruling class.

They're just doing the bidding of their sexually-repressed constituents, dude!
posted by ZenMasterThis at 2:50 PM on July 22, 2005

I guess the goatse references in Doom III and Unreal Tournament 2004 are next.
posted by Smart Dalek at 2:52 PM on July 22, 2005

This thread is useless without computer-generated polygon-genitalia pics!
posted by fungible at 2:55 PM on July 22, 2005

Who did what now?
posted by thedoctorpants at 2:58 PM on July 22, 2005

From Stopkill.com: I am trying to protect our freedoms. How so? When the next Columbine happens and the perpetrators are proven to be copycatters of adult-rated violent entertainment, then the government, driven by parental concern, really will contract freedom for all Americans. Safety will trump freedom.

Great. Trumping freedom is something ol' Jack knows a thing or two about.

Future moms, please make sure your children are born fully clothed. Let's stamp out this nudity nuisance once and for all.
posted by sellout at 3:05 PM on July 22, 2005

First Internet Pron got us all conditioned to be aroused by the Quicktime Logo - NOW the Sims is making me get all bonerificus over pixely images! Please Florida legislature save me from my self!
posted by tkchrist at 3:09 PM on July 22, 2005

Metafilter: useless without computer-generated polygon-genitalia pics!
posted by elwoodwiles at 3:11 PM on July 22, 2005

It just gets worse and worse! Using a third-party modification, I have just unlocked the "rampant gay orgy" level of America's Army.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 3:13 PM on July 22, 2005

As long as we keep putting Jack Thompson's name in the headlines and newsfeeds, he's getting what he wants out of it...

(the collective "we")
posted by Larzarus at 3:13 PM on July 22, 2005

Looks nothing worse than SIMemax afterdark.
posted by Peter H at 3:15 PM on July 22, 2005

Also, If they'd just ban children, we'd have nothing to worry about.
posted by Peter H at 3:15 PM on July 22, 2005

Jack Thompson is on a mission to save everyone from themselves. And, when the next Columbine happens and there is no easy lameass scapegoat to pin it on, then, and maybe only then, will parents realize that actually speaking to and spending time with their children is the best way to keep them out of trouble.

Thanks Jack Thompson. Now please shut and let me play my damned video games. I've almost unlocked the Threesome Code!

"The sex and the nudity are in the game. That's the point. The blur is an admission that even the 'Ken and Barbie' features should not be displayed. The blur can be disarmed. This is no different than what is in San Andreas, although worse."

I thought the point was to enjoy the game and not get so ultra focused on some pixelate titties. I love the final sentence though, its no different from San Andreas but worse, how's that work, Jack?

P_G, shoot a vid of it and email it to Jack, he's running out of windmills!
posted by fenriq at 3:19 PM on July 22, 2005

fenriq : "when the next Columbine happens and there is no easy lameass scapegoat to pin it on, then, and maybe only then, will parents realize that actually speaking to and spending time with their children is the best way to keep them out of trouble."

Nah. Then Jack Thompson will start going after board games.

The blur is an admission that even the 'Ken and Barbie' features should not be displayed.

Along similar lines, my wearing of a t-shirt with a design on the front is an admission that a t-shirt without a design on the front should not be displayed.
posted by Bugbread at 3:22 PM on July 22, 2005

the "rampant gay orgy" level of America's Army

holy shit. there's no closing that pandora's box.
posted by nervousfritz at 3:22 PM on July 22, 2005

Jack Thompson's thoughts, translated:
"Thar's gold in them thar hills!"

Hillary Clintons's thoughts, translated:
"Thar's political gold in them thar hills!"

Rockstar Interactive's thoughts, translated:
"Thar's gold in them thar hills!"
posted by -harlequin- at 3:33 PM on July 22, 2005

To me, this proves that there needs to be a new type of Leisure Suit Larry game. The lastest one was terrible, but back in their hay-day that's where you went to get your fill of "moral subversion".
posted by cleverusername at 3:34 PM on July 22, 2005

It's nice to see Hilary going to such lengths to ensure that she alienates the left now as completely as she alienated the right in previous years.

She must have already decided she wasn't going to run in 2008. I pity the fool who'll then lend his support to someone who, as a Senator, managed to find nothing more important to worry about than whether you can see naked people by modifying a videogame which is already rated "Mature" to start with.
posted by clevershark at 3:34 PM on July 22, 2005

Actually there's an idea -- Hilary might see things differently if large numbers of people were to send 8x10 pics of the g**tse guy to her Congressional office.
posted by clevershark at 3:37 PM on July 22, 2005

This thread is useless without computer-generated polygon-genitalia pics!

Well here you go then, courtesy of my god mother who created some sims just for this thread, including examples of the barbie and ken EA skins, alongside user created skins. You cannot get the anatomically correct skins unless you download them and install them into the game, they do not come with the game.
posted by zarah at 3:38 PM on July 22, 2005

Wow, this is idiotic. But I'm the bigger idiot, because I went through the trouble of removing the censor blur and taking some screenshots. Boy, am I turned on.


posted by Nelson at 3:39 PM on July 22, 2005

bugbread, I've always thought Chutes and Ladders was about Gay sex and Mousetrap was about beastiality. What else? Parcheesy is about sex with cheese.

Risk is about sex with foreigners and not wearing condoms.

Monopoly is about sex in hotels with fetish accessories like top hats, thimbles and race cars.

Stratego is about sex with POW's.

Damn, this problem is alot deeper than I thought. Thanks Jack Thompson, for your unerring moral compass you're trying to strap the rest of the universe to. I don't know how we'd get along without your interference.

zarah, that is some superb work! I'll two of the one of the far left and three of the second from the right please. But what happened to ol' Bumpy there on the right? He should look alot more pissed off!
posted by fenriq at 3:40 PM on July 22, 2005

There are plenty of fan-made sexually explicit skins for the Sims 2, but there's nothing in the main game. Then again I can melt down an Army Man and make him Ken's "little soldier", too, but that doesn't make Mattel guilty of peddling pr0n, does it?
posted by Nelson at 3:42 PM on July 22, 2005

Case closed. Nice one, Nelson.

Bellman: Hillary doesn't have and can't build a national following. As a NY politician she's their problem. As a national politician, she's a noob and has no posse. I have no idea who it's gonna be, or even care who it could be. But I deal with political consultants (D) and I've never heard any of them call Hillary's so-call presidential ambitions anything other than a Repo troll and a very limp joke.

*braces for shitstorm from koolaide drinkers and political n00bs**
posted by warbaby at 3:44 PM on July 22, 2005

And, when the next Columbine happens and there is no easy lameass scapegoat to pin it on, then,

What are you talking about?! There are always be easy lameass scapgoats. The perpetrators don't even need to have ever heard/seen/played the scapegoat, the facts never got in the way before.

How many people today know that the "Trenchcoat Mafia" Columbine killers shot up a school wearing black trenchcoats?
How many people today know that the closest thing to a black trenchcoat any Columbine killer was wearing, was a dorky blue parker?

Reality is made of soft gooey plastic. Black trenchcoats were banned in schools all over the place because, uh... because some killer wore a blue parker, or because media made a scapegoat where there was no connection?

No connection is necessary. There will always be easy lameass Scapegoating instead of honest evaluation.
posted by -harlequin- at 3:46 PM on July 22, 2005

Outlaw nudity and only outlaws will be nude.
posted by maryh at 3:52 PM on July 22, 2005

-harlequin-, yep, you're right, sorry, I was just projecting my wishes again.

It will always be easier to blame something tangentally related to the tragedy instead of the real reasons (whatever they may be).
posted by fenriq at 3:55 PM on July 22, 2005

Hillary: though on easter-egg sex scene, the right choice for a post 9/11 America.
posted by NewBornHippy at 4:07 PM on July 22, 2005

Fenriq, I see your knowledge of Jack Thompson runs shallow. Jack Thompson is not just a sex lawyer; that just happens to be the topic of his last two cases. Previous attacks (case related or otherwise) have been on Manhunt (for violence), GTA3 (violence), Halo (violence), Ice-T's Cop Killah album (violence), and 2 Live Crew (sex). So he's pretty much equal opportunity on the sex and violence.
posted by Bugbread at 4:08 PM on July 22, 2005

Me: I see your knowledge of Jack Thompson runs shallow.

Sorry, that sounded snarky. Just tiredness at end of night shift.
posted by Bugbread at 4:10 PM on July 22, 2005

I have just unlocked the "rampant gay orgy" level of America's Army.

Based on my own, uh, military experience, I think that's a regular level. I recall it being something like this:

Czech Border Tour, 1988 - You and an entire company of horny young guys have been stationed for a month at an isolated border outpost. There are no towns within range, and you are regularly sent on two-man patrols into the dark, quiet woods. Who will be the first to make his buddy smile? Just make sure to stay out of the CO's way!
posted by me & my monkey at 4:13 PM on July 22, 2005

bugbread, no worries, censorship always gets my hackles up too!

me & my monkey, that sounded almost romantic!
posted by fenriq at 4:24 PM on July 22, 2005

I heard the sims were nude behind the pixelated screen, but when I looked back there all I could see was the back of my monitor.
posted by jlub at 4:26 PM on July 22, 2005

For the curious, here are some NSFW nude Sims screenshots. It's accomplished by installing skins -- instead of clothes-skins, these are skin-skins.

Let us all be outraged that, beneath their clothes, Sims are naked.
posted by waldo at 4:28 PM on July 22, 2005

From the FPP: "Thompson doesn't buy it. 'The sex and the nudity are in the game. That's the point. The blur is an admission that even the 'Ken and Barbie' features should not be displayed. The blur can be disarmed. This is no different than what is in San Andreas, although worse.'"

Sounds like backpedaling to me. Oh, they're not naked? Well it's still wrong, dang it!
posted by danb at 4:31 PM on July 22, 2005

Metafilter: Ultra-focused on pixelate titties.
posted by Dunvegan at 4:39 PM on July 22, 2005

me & my monkey, that sounded almost romantic!

I don't know if I'd call it romantic, but let's just say I did very well on that level:

"It's so lonely out here, I haven't seen my girlfriend in SO LONG ..."

... bow-chicka-wow-wow ...

"Oh, I was so shitfaced last night, I don't remember a thing! Do you?"

DING-DING-DING!!!! YOU SCORED!!!

It's a shame I'm too old to play anymore.
posted by me & my monkey at 4:41 PM on July 22, 2005

I feel sorry for Mr. Thompson. We see nothing but innocuous games, but evidently his sick, prurient mind cannot help but imagine people walking around engaging in indiscriminating orgies all the time.

Jack Thompson is a twisted sex freak.
posted by clevershark at 4:49 PM on July 22, 2005

clevershark, I say confiscate his hard drive and search it for child porn. He's hiding something!
posted by fenriq at 5:24 PM on July 22, 2005

I don't get it. It's a game that awards points for vehicular homicide, drug trafficing and slaying police officers.

Yet they get upset over a little bit of consensual nookie?

There's something seriously wrong with these people.

MetaFilter: For fun or for prosimcreation.
posted by spazzm at 5:32 PM on July 22, 2005

spazzm : "I don't get it. It's a game that awards points for vehicular homicide, drug trafficing and slaying police officers.

"Yet they get upset over a little bit of consensual nookie?

"There's something seriously wrong with these people."

Actually, they got upset about the violence and hooker killing already (GTA3), but it didn't really go anywhere, so now they're just looking for a new angle. There is something wrong with them, but "getting upset over consensual nookie but not getting upset over vehicular homicide, drug trafficking, and slaying police officers" isn't it.
posted by Bugbread at 5:35 PM on July 22, 2005

Well thanks a lot for that, Nelson. Thanks to you I got fired from my job, at NAMBLA. Please think of the children!
posted by mr.marx at 5:51 PM on July 22, 2005

at first i was going to actually buy Sims2 because i said a few years ago that i wouldnt play a simulated human game unless it was... real.

but now after seeing those screenshots im not interested. why? because i hate fake boobs. so lord knows im not going to like simulated fake boobs.
posted by tsarfan at 5:58 PM on July 22, 2005

Now we're going from the ridiculous to the surreal. Either this guy is a serious pervert, and the LEAST little bit of beige-colored pixelization sends his mind rocketing into Caligula territory, or else he's just trying to cash in on his last political score by attacking another game that has (whisper) SEX (/whisper) in it. The Sims 2 has sex in it because it's a life simulator... without sex, you don't get more Sims. The fact that they call it "WooHoo" and hide it under a big thick comforter and make it an entirely HAPPY thing when it happens (there is no rape, peer-pressure sex, or exploitation in The Sims 2... the game just won't allow it) is apparently not positive enough for this clown... sex itself is a negative. (And he's even imagining their genitalia...)

I'm sorry, but I think HE'S the pervert here, and why we keep putting him and people like him in positions of power I will never understand.
posted by BoringPostcards at 6:43 PM on July 22, 2005

I never really got the appeal of The Sims anyway. I find something odd about the idea of people foregoing having a real social life in order to play a videogame in which they cultivate and nurture... a fake social life.
posted by clevershark at 6:44 PM on July 22, 2005

But these can't be the *real* screenshots. According to Thompson, the game includes:

"full frontal nudity, including nipples, penises, labia, and pubic hair"

Where's all the labia, folks? And are we talking major or minor? And can you show a labia without a clitoris as well?

Won't *somebody* post a link to this Sims2: Split Beaver Party mod? If not for me, then think of the MeFi-reading children...
posted by PeterMcDermott at 6:49 PM on July 22, 2005

bugbread: True that (granted that the people kicking up the storm now are the same that objected last time around) but isn't that an even graver case of the stupids: "Well, nobody cared and nothing changed when we complained about the prostitute-slaying, drug-running and car-stealing, so let's try complaining about consensual sex instead"?

How dumb are these people or, alternatively, how dumb do they think the general public is?

...

Wait, never mind.
posted by spazzm at 7:02 PM on July 22, 2005

just noticed the title. awesome. any one who makes a Katamari Damacy reference is OK in my book.
posted by Miles Long at 8:08 PM on July 22, 2005

apparently, "labia" is republican for "jeans".
posted by mr.marx at 8:30 PM on July 22, 2005

Judging by the footprints, I'd say a long train of camels just came through this thread.
posted by trondant at 8:42 PM on July 22, 2005

just noticed the title. awesome. any one who makes a Katamari Damacy reference is OK in my book.

My, Earth certainly is full of... "things"!
posted by arto at 8:57 PM on July 22, 2005

Just wait until Jack Thompson et al find out that same-sex Sims can "woohoo" & marry!

I never really got the appeal of The Sims anyway

Architecture and interior design is the big appeal from where I sit. I have no idea what sims1 was like, but the build mode items and the furnishings that simmers are creating for sims2 are fantastic. Playing the characters does get old really fast.
posted by zarah at 9:56 PM on July 22, 2005

What can you do to "hot coffee"? via Jorn
posted by caddis at 10:36 PM on July 22, 2005

What I foresee is that when companies start getting sued for the possibility that 3rd party addons can allow undesirable features in their games, those companies will stop allowing the users to create their own content. We will see the end of so-called modding culture, and games will become more and more boring.
Way to go Hillary.
posted by nightchrome at 11:24 PM on July 22, 2005

BoringPostcards : "or else he's just trying to cash in on his last political score"

Jack Thompson? THE Jack Thompson?! Trying to cash in?! No, impossible!!

(Though I would argue that he's not trying to cash in on his last political score, but from a purely financial standpoint)

spazzm : "True that (granted that the people kicking up the storm now are the same that objected last time around) but isn't that an even graver case of the stupids"

Yep. But I'd say it's a case of Jack (correctly or incorrectly) determining that the people are the stupids, and that the people would be more offended by sex than violence. Jack Thompson is stupid in his own special way, but I doubt personally thinking sex is worse than violence is one of them (no evidence for that, but his past history has been far more focussed on violence than sex, and his issue with GTA3 was for the violence, despite the fact that prostitutes were in GTA3 as well).

nightchrome : "What I foresee is that when companies start getting sued for the possibility that 3rd party addons can allow undesirable features in their games, those companies will stop allowing the users to create their own content. We will see the end of so-called modding culture, and games will become more and more boring."

When they start getting sued? Or when they start losing those cases (or significant amounts of money in defense against said cases)? There's a pretty big difference. What I forsee (or, rather, blindly guess) is that there will be a few suits, a few lost cases, more winning cases, and eventually they'll be responsible for leaving hidden sex in (Hot Coffee), but not responsible for stuff that was completely added by third parties (Sim dicks). And by "responsible", probably just a minor fine and an ESRB rerating for the first infraction, with larger fines for subsequent infractions.
posted by Bugbread at 6:47 AM on July 23, 2005

It took that idiot in Miami THIS long to notice the naked Sims thing? That patch has been around for the original Sim games for several years.


FWIW the rest of us here in Florida do not consider Miami to be part of the state.. it's just.. there... We keep trying to ignore it and hope it will go away.
posted by keptwench at 7:29 AM on July 23, 2005

"Hot Coffeegate?"

I know that Watergate was a watershed event in American history, but do we really need to append -gate on every scandal?
posted by KirkJobSluder at 9:33 AM on July 23, 2005

So we've gotten to the point where we can't permit games to be modified by users so as to have sexual content. This is a little like the objection that GTA permits criminal behaviour. If you're worried about a world full of open-ended choices with wildly differing moral implications, well -- you could always worry about reality, I suppose.

On preview...
posted by dreamsign at 12:00 PM on July 23, 2005

dreamsign : "So we've gotten to the point where we can't permit games to be modified by users so as to have sexual content."

I think in this case, all we can safely say is that Jack Thompson has gotten to that point. If people agree, then we've got a big issue, but until then, it's just Jack being Jack. Kinda like saying "We've reached the point where we support deep-frying human livers?" in response to an article about Jeffrey Dahmer deciding he'd like to start cooking his victims instead of eating them raw. A big jump if society agrees, but not a big jump if he's the only one.
posted by Bugbread at 12:26 PM on July 23, 2005

point well taken.

though I wasn't criticizing society as a whole, but the particular noodle-heads who either instigate this kind of thing or buy into it with their moral panic.
posted by dreamsign at 12:49 PM on July 23, 2005

dreamsign : "though I wasn't criticizing society as a whole, but the particular noodle-heads who either instigate this kind of thing or buy into it with their moral panic."

Well, there we're in total agreement.
posted by Bugbread at 1:44 PM on July 23, 2005

Dreamsign: So we've gotten to the point where we can't permit games to be modified by users so as to have sexual content.

Well the position of the ERSB appears to be clear. If it's on the disk by the publisher (even if disabled) it is the publisher's problem. If it's not on the disk by the publisher, it's the modder's problem.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 5:13 PM on July 23, 2005

KirkJobSluder: "...do we really need to append -gate on every scandal?"

Based on the evidence before us, yes.

*It's not my planet, monkeyboy!*
posted by warbaby at 9:16 PM on July 23, 2005

Do you realize the animals in these games are nude!?
posted by Smedleyman at 12:02 PM on July 25, 2005