datelance.com

July 24, 2005 9:48 PM

Are your co-workers single? Are you bored? How about surprising them a billboard and a website? Thats what happened to Lance. But is this really so altruistic? Or just a clever way of getting publicity for a company that needs employees?
Morgan Lynch, co-worker and CEO of LogoWorks: I knew the first time I met with Lance that I wanted to hire him, but that he'd be the only person on our marketing team without a significant other. I thought, What can I do to help Lance find true love? Out of our concern grew DateLance.com. We hope it helps him out. If you think Lance sounds cool, but you rather work with him than date him, click here to see what positions we've got available. Maybe you'll get your own billboard someday.
Noelle Bates, co-worker and Director of Corporate Communicatons, LogoWorks: I didn't meet my husband until I was 30, so I know how hard it is to walk in Lance's shoes. I also know that when we conceptualized DateLance as a team, I was so glad I was married. Lance is the greatest guy and deserves to end up with someone as stellar as he is. He's the kind of guy that you'd want to set up with your sister, and the kind of guy who won't kill you when he sees a billboard like this for the first time.
posted by zia (21 comments total)

It's a pity that Lance would really rather that his male life partner remained a secret at his new workplace...
posted by wilful at 10:18 PM on July 24, 2005

Hometown: Potomac, MD
Lives in: Provo, UT.
Age: 31
Occupation: Director of Marketing, Logoworks
Height: 6'3" Weight: 180
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Brown
Mission: Finland
Degrees held: BS in Finance, BYU; MBA, Harvard
Special Skills: Basketball and negotiation
Favorite Restaurant: Los Hermanos

Just to help you choose wisely, ladies.
posted by StrangerInAStrainedLand at 10:25 PM on July 24, 2005

He's the kind of guy that you'd want to set up with your sister

Hey, set all of them up with him, he's a big Mormon! ;)
posted by scarabic at 10:27 PM on July 24, 2005

Let me be the first to say that Lance is probably as fine a guy (swear to god I typed "gay" the first time) as they say but the people who did this are the most oppressive flaming heterosexuals I've ever seen:

"I didn't meet my husband until I was 30, so I know how hard it is"

OH MY GAWD! IT'S SO HARD NOT BEING MARRIED!

[stabs eyes out]
posted by scarabic at 10:30 PM on July 24, 2005

I'm going to raise some MetaFilter capital for a Date ParisParamus billboard and website.
posted by fandango_matt at 10:33 PM on July 24, 2005

I CAST OUT THEE DEMONS OF VIRAL MARKETING! BEGONE GEIS! GOODEN! LEVINE! TO ETERNAL WAITING ROOM I SEND THEE!
posted by drezdn at 10:45 PM on July 24, 2005

Note the "Mission" line above. This is Utah. Mormon country. Not married and reproducing copiously by 31 is a major deal to these folks. So while it is probably crafty marketing for the company, they are probably also concerned about the fact that Lance isn't already making lots of good little Mormon kids. I know from personal experience that Utah Mormons take that seriously.
posted by teece at 10:46 PM on July 24, 2005

Too bad everyone can't have an over paid marketing dept pulling for them.
posted by rubin at 11:16 PM on July 24, 2005

I wonder why Lance's "Sense of Humor" box has a question mark and why "Friends" is in quotation* marks.

*Also, those aren't quotation marks, they're hatch marks. On a design company's website. Good grief.
posted by fandango_matt at 11:19 PM on July 24, 2005

I wonder why Lance's "Sense of Humor" box has a question mark and why "Friends" is in quotation* marks.

Because when they built the site, they weren't 100 percent sure how he'd react, probably (for the former). The latter, because it's considered humorous to say that his friends aren't his friends because they embarrassed him on a large scale.

Have no idea on the quotes.
posted by RikiTikiTavi at 12:17 AM on July 25, 2005

Why don't you submit yourself, submit a friend, or tell a friend to help us help him?

It's probably hard finding a girl in Utah who's into group S&M.
posted by blendor at 1:00 AM on July 25, 2005

I'd hit it him.
posted by NinjaPirate at 2:35 AM on July 25, 2005

posted by fandango_matt at 2:36 AM on July 25, 2005

The freakishly large teeth is a Mormon thing. Remember the Osmonds?

Although as a resident of Utah we often get together over a cup of hot chocolate and make fun of the rat-toothed outsiders from back East who are driving up home prices.

/not really
posted by mecran01 at 3:58 AM on July 25, 2005

IMO, listing "negotiation" under "Special Skills" kinda screams "tool."
posted by herc at 7:22 AM on July 25, 2005

He looks kind of cute, in a stock photo sort of way.
posted by dial-tone at 8:33 AM on July 25, 2005

"I'm not overly concerned about (marriage). I'm pretty happy right now," Archibald said. "I'd like to get married, but it's not a concern."
posted by artifarce at 10:34 AM on July 25, 2005

What's a "hatch mark"?
posted by sour cream at 3:22 PM on July 25, 2005

It's about at this point that I'd start looking for a new job.

I also know that when we conceptualized DateLance as a team, I was so glad I was married.

Why, because she didn't want to get set up with Lance, or because she didn't want to see datenoelle.com? Or both?
posted by Aster at 3:55 PM on July 25, 2005

This is so lame it bypasses cool and becomes lame again.
posted by signal at 8:47 PM on July 25, 2005

So is one of the ladies of metafilter willing to take one for the team and go on a date with Lance and report back?
posted by drezdn at 10:16 PM on July 25, 2005