Will the Real Mr. Six Please Stand Up?

July 26, 2005 7:18 AM

A creepy old man, known as Mr. Six, has spent the last couple of years dancing on commercials for Six Flags amusement parts. He's clearly a fake old man (a young person in makeup). So who plays Mr. Six? Six Flags won't say, many people speculate, but this guys thinks he knows.
posted by grumblebee (76 comments total)

There has been no other company mascot that I have wished to beat to death with a baseball bat more than that...that...creature in those Six Flag commercials.
posted by stifford at 7:24 AM on July 26, 2005

That is the creepiest, most annoying, spokesbeast ever. Something about a supposedly geriatric guy busting some moves just gives me the willies. That said, I've been curious as to the identity of this dinner theatre rejec..... I mean...um err... actor...
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 7:26 AM on July 26, 2005

Stifford, why? Is he a spammer?
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 7:27 AM on July 26, 2005

From the second link:

Charles "Hank" Salemi, Six Flags' senior vice president of marketing will only say that Mr. Six "is the spirit of Six Flags....He comes to take people away from their boredom."

I initially read the last word as "bedroom," and it made a whole lot more sense.
posted by Speck at 7:31 AM on July 26, 2005

Is he a spammer?

He...it...is an Abomination! It looks scarier than (Old) Lo Pan in Big Trouble in Little China.
posted by stifford at 7:36 AM on July 26, 2005

I'm sure the person playing him is a total nobody, but by not divulging that, you get some obsessive speculation by people with too much time (ie, us). Hey, free marketing is free marketing.
posted by fungible at 7:36 AM on July 26, 2005

He...it...is an Abomination!

Snuggles the Fabric Softener Bear is an abomination. The 6-Flags thing is just a horror.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:39 AM on July 26, 2005

I am in complete agreement. From the first commercials to now, the guy is creepy and I get the distinct sense he'd be just as happy fondling kids in a back room.

And its actually because of their dogged adherence to that incredibly freakish mascot that I won't go to Six Flags anymore. So, no, not all publicity is good publicity.

It wouldn't be so bad if they made an old man mascot costume like a Mickey Mouse style with the head and cartoonized him but as he is now, he's just disturbing. And yes, I have had a nightmare involving him, why do you ask?
posted by fenriq at 7:44 AM on July 26, 2005

So who plays Mr. Six?

Yo, what are you doin lookin in my closet?
Why are you tryin to try on my sneakers?
Stop lookin around in my kitchen
That's right it's Honeycomb up there, raviolis
Everything a regular man eats
I'm not the Elephant Man, whassup?

The only thing that Six Flags corporate has given me the liberty to tell you is, at my age, to put on those moves, I have had to develop a wicked speed habit.
posted by Mr. Six at 7:47 AM on July 26, 2005

You can't kill Snuggle, but Snuggle sure can kill static (although I can't get the video to play at the moment)
posted by stevil at 7:50 AM on July 26, 2005

I like the creepy old guy.
posted by found missing at 7:51 AM on July 26, 2005

Does anyone else see the comercials and think, "Nightmare on Elm Street?"

But really, this is something that certainly is worthy of the Pulizer of blogging as an alternative to MSM.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 7:52 AM on July 26, 2005

He always reminds me of Junior Soprano, which makes the commercials even more surreal.
posted by smackfu at 7:54 AM on July 26, 2005

The first time I saw this character, I was convinced it was a woman in the costume. Eh.

Giant Corporation: 0; Blogger with Some Spare Time: 1
posted by odinsdream at 8:02 AM on July 26, 2005

Could somebody provide a link to the commercial in question? I have no idea what any of you are talking about.
posted by waldo at 8:04 AM on July 26, 2005

Are you guys serious? The blog "outing" is obviously a stupid inblogger joke.
posted by neustile at 8:08 AM on July 26, 2005

Ugh. I can't stand seeing those commercials.

I can't help but feel like I'm watching some guy's face melting to a schizophrenic dance. And living in ATL, I end up seeing it at least five times a day.
posted by vanadium at 8:18 AM on July 26, 2005

I like the old guy too. Commercial beings I hate include the Taco Bell chihuahua and any normally-inanimate objects which have become animated, including the aforementioned Snuggles as well as talking tubs of Parkay. I can't speak for anyone else, but I prefer my margarine not to be possessed by demons.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 8:24 AM on July 26, 2005

The first time I saw this character, I was convinced it was a woman in the costume. Eh.

I think it's a woman too, the hands are too pretty.

That blog post is just a joke between him and his blogger friends, duh.
posted by zarah at 8:27 AM on July 26, 2005

I like the guy. Old people can't dance like nuts without wanting to molest kids? Please.
posted by justgary at 8:30 AM on July 26, 2005

I loathe "Mr. Six". I didn't know his name before reading this post, despite the fact he's plastered all over the local Publix supermarket entrance.

Creepy-ass old guys aren't a good way to drum up business, last time I checked. Oh well, it must be working (or they think it's working) if he's been around that long.

Eew.

And I think I have to agree with stifford; a spike-laden baseball bat is in order for this thing.
posted by Floach at 8:39 AM on July 26, 2005

Is it the guy, or is it the guy AND the synthesizer he's along with...?
posted by mania at 8:42 AM on July 26, 2005

At first I thought it was Dana Carvey in the creepy suit. But if it were Dana Carvey, the commercial would have to scream "THIS IS DANA CARVEY, YES, HE'S STILL WORKING."

Subliminally, of course.
posted by o2b at 8:49 AM on July 26, 2005

a spike-laden baseball bat is in order for this thing

YOU CAN'T KILL ALL OF US


posted by Mr. Six at 8:52 AM on July 26, 2005

I gotta wonder about anybody who becomes that obsessed about uncovering the actor in a television commercial. He makes a lot of leaps in logic (seems more like intuition) but somehow seems to end up in the right place.

But isn't the world a better place, now that his work is done???
posted by spock at 8:53 AM on July 26, 2005

Dude, I LOVE Mr. Six! Whenever those commercials come on, I just have to dance. Sure, he's a little creepy, but so what?

What's infinitely more disturbing are those commercials for (I think) Quizno's Subs with the talking baby. I HATE that baby!
posted by papakwanz at 9:05 AM on July 26, 2005

I could have sworn that it was Charles Nelson Reilly with the help of computer animation to bust those moves.

When the commercials first appeared, the IMDB had mentioned that CNR was doing work with Six Flags in the "What are they doing now?" section, however, when I went to check it today, that information was missing.
posted by Raymond Marble at 9:11 AM on July 26, 2005

Charles "Hank" Salemi, Six Flags' senior vice president of marketing

Ok for a second there I thought that was the characters name... Hank Salemi, it actually fits pretty good...

I wonder what legal lockbox the actor is in. He/she must be making some pretty good cash to forego using this a reference since they are otherwise possibly quite anonymous and doing nothing? Wonder for how long they have to maintain their vow of silence after their contract ends, did they sign an NDA, are they allowed to tell their family what they do for a living, do they make stories up to explain the cash like "I'm in the mob", etc.
posted by scheptech at 9:19 AM on July 26, 2005

The plastic Duracell family from several years back really gave me the heebie geebies.
posted by sharksandwich at 9:20 AM on July 26, 2005

I'm with you, papakwanz -- the Quizno talking babies freak me out way more than this guy.

Also close to the top of the freaky/annoying commercials list is the "Smart and Final" talking baby.
posted by fictionaldepth at 9:21 AM on July 26, 2005

You gotta admit that Quizno's various spokesthingies (over the years) are way creepier than that.

Especially those disgusting unidentifiable things with the teeth and gums. Those always freak me out.
posted by clevershark at 9:36 AM on July 26, 2005

Baby Bob!
posted by puke & cry at 9:42 AM on July 26, 2005 [1 favorite]

He is a bit creepy, but the first time I saw him I thought it was funny. Now it's just getting old. They use him season after season, so the ads must be bringing in customers. I know they worked on me, at least while Kingda Ka was still running. That is one awsome ride. Does anyone know when it will open again?
posted by nyc stories at 10:08 AM on July 26, 2005

List me on the side of Mr. Six. Haters, hate harder.
posted by yerfatma at 10:10 AM on July 26, 2005

I don't find him creepy. I'm way creepier than he is, and I'm not cree.l. . umm. hmm. Ok.
posted by nervousfritz at 10:26 AM on July 26, 2005

You folks still watch TV commercials? How quaint.
posted by tippiedog at 10:27 AM on July 26, 2005

What confuses me most about the Mr. Six character is that Six Flags has a perfectly good set of mascots in the Warner Brothers cartoon characters and DC superheroes.

Why don't they have the rights to use them in their advertising?
Why do they have to invent a new stupid character?
posted by jozxyqk at 10:27 AM on July 26, 2005

Six Flags must not run ads in the FL panhandle cuz I've never heard of him. I am curious to see him busta move. Is there video available on the web?
posted by wsg at 10:27 AM on July 26, 2005

Heh.
posted by Sticherbeast at 10:29 AM on July 26, 2005

"...those disgusting unidentifiable things with the teeth and gums..."

Spongmonkeys, man. Spongmonkeys.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:30 AM on July 26, 2005

I hate that I know exactly who this guy is, and I don't even watch tv! I hate that we have an entire thread - and therefore free publicity - devoted to this horror, and last but not least I loathe the inclusion of that picture in this thread.

::shudder::

Enough hating for ya yerfatma?
posted by Space Kitty at 10:42 AM on July 26, 2005

Oh, I had forgotten about that plastic Duracell family!

Perhaps I blocked them.

I will take Mr. Six and Baby Bob over those plastic creeps.
posted by Sheppagus at 10:44 AM on July 26, 2005

It's the disturbing spokescharacter summit convening today in the Uncanny Valley Doubletree! At 3PM, the keynote speakers will put on a theatrical presentation: Mr. Six and Quiznos Bob in a revival of Lolita with the Parkay tub as Clare Quilty and Duracell Mom as Charlotte Haze. Please hold all screams of terror until the performance has been completed.
posted by Pliskie at 10:46 AM on July 26, 2005

Does anyone else see the comercials and think, "Nightmare on Elm Street?"
Umm, yeah! He's like something out of a Steven King book, driving his stinky bus around, picking up kids and families Who Will Never be heard from again. I believe he is really Ted Bundy's father, and until he is arrested and executed I won't be going to his macabe playground.
posted by Mack Twain at 10:58 AM on July 26, 2005

Baum-ba-baum-ba-BAUM-BAUM
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:59 AM on July 26, 2005

One more vote for blogger in-joke. The "logic" of his search is so ridiculous and far-fetched it's astounding.
posted by rafter at 11:02 AM on July 26, 2005

What confuses me most about the Mr. Six character is that Six Flags has a perfectly good set of mascots in the Warner Brothers cartoon characters and DC superheroes.

How long before we have the Mr. Six animated series?

Of course, I don't mind Mr. Six and I love the Spongmonkeys because television is in dire need of a surrealism enema. Commercials for medication showing perfect models holding hands is fucking creepy if you ask me, as is the commercial view of the American family. The Spongmonkeys are one of the few things on television that actually get through the cruft and sediment deposited on my brain by the boob tube.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 11:16 AM on July 26, 2005

I think the longstanding ban on TV/radio cigarette ads should be rotated among other product groups. It would take effect January 1.

2006: theme parks
2007: motor vehicles. Can't wait for this one.
2008: prescription medications
2009: beverages. The "pouring into glass" sound effect would be permanently banned.
2010: car insurance
2011: ring tones
2012: re-pets
2013: trips to Mahs
2014: cryo services
2015: home radiation shields
2016: parasite removal
2017: zombie traps
2018: drinking water
2019: air
posted by kurumi at 11:18 AM on July 26, 2005

While the old vato creeps me out too, it's that FUCKING TIJUANA TECHNO CLUB SONG that really bothers me.
posted by afx114 at 11:22 AM on July 26, 2005

Kurumi: I'm still in favor of a ban on medication ads that don't tell you what the goddamn thing is for! What IS the Little Purple Pill for?

And to add to the complaints of a friend: "A MASSAGE is a 'strong lasting experience', what those pills give you is a chemically induced STIFFIE!"

Thank you.
posted by mephron at 11:23 AM on July 26, 2005

And here I got all excited 'cause I thought this was about Mister Six.

Bah.

Although, actually, since they do have rights to DC characters, and Mister Six was part of a Vertigo comic, and Vertigo is the DC offshoot...

Oh no...it's all starting to make sense...
posted by Katemonkey at 11:25 AM on July 26, 2005

I could be wrong about this but I think those ads were directed by the guy that made the movie Chump Change.
posted by drezdn at 11:38 AM on July 26, 2005

WHO IS MR. SIX?
YOU ARE MR. ONE.

sorry
posted by Rev. Syung Myung Me at 12:11 PM on July 26, 2005

i am mrzer0.
posted by mrzer0 at 1:00 PM on July 26, 2005

clevershark: by "those disgusting unidentifiable things with the teeth and gums" you really meant "most brilliant ad campaign evar!!11!", right?
posted by hototogisu at 1:08 PM on July 26, 2005

He's the guy who lost all that weight in the subway ads.
posted by Slagman at 1:13 PM on July 26, 2005

hototogisu, brilliant ads don't discourage patrons from the business. Those freaky little things just weirded me right the hell out and I don't go Quizno's anymore (doesn't hurt that they're overpriced either).

justgary, why do you even bother?
posted by fenriq at 1:19 PM on July 26, 2005

clearly a vast difference in something between us: I saw those ads and never wanted to eat at a place that wasn't Quizno's. However, I recognize that this is a minority opinion, and rather loony to boot.
posted by hototogisu at 1:37 PM on July 26, 2005

Count me in as one of the people given the heebie jeebies by Mr. Six. I can't put my finger on what makes him so creepy, but I hate him so much it's like... flames... flames on the side of my face.
posted by MsMolly at 2:07 PM on July 26, 2005

Ohhh thank you, now I must go watch my treasured A&E Prisoner DVDs!!!
posted by cavalier at 2:28 PM on July 26, 2005

Suggestion: Stop watching commercial TV.
posted by Outlawyr at 2:42 PM on July 26, 2005

Suggestion: Stop watching TV.
posted by gorgor_balabala at 3:12 PM on July 26, 2005

mania: Is it the guy, or is it the guy AND the synthesizer he's along with...?

I think this nails it. That Venga Boys track is, in itself, a small crusty chunk of pure concentrated evil...
posted by First Post at 3:48 PM on July 26, 2005

Well, as an editorial on slate pointed out, the Quiznos ad makes sense given their market position of needing to get name recognition.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 3:49 PM on July 26, 2005

I always thought it was Martin short, as the spastic jig is similar to Ed Grimley's triangle playing.
posted by Smart Dalek at 4:14 PM on July 26, 2005

You people actually see commercials?

Good God. Get a TiVo, ferjaysissake.
posted by chuq at 4:33 PM on July 26, 2005

Suggestion: Watch more TV, ALL THE TIME.
posted by jimmy at 4:45 PM on July 26, 2005

I hate Mr. Six, but I love the Quizno's ads with the spongemonkeys where they tell you to bring in any coupon. Can anyone's google-fu find that one on the web?
posted by duck at 5:51 PM on July 26, 2005

Six Flags guy? You mean Edgar Ray Killen, Klan leader? (Too bad sixflagskkk.ytmnd.com is dead now...)
posted by sellout at 10:35 PM on July 26, 2005

Alternatively, I could read all the links before posting. :)
posted by sellout at 11:07 PM on July 26, 2005

Our household remains divided on the issue. I, for one, can not turn away from the ads, as I am simultaneously repulsed and fascinated. My wife doesn't particularly care for them, but is bemused (and, I suspect, slightly irritated) by my captivation.

We both loved the spongemonkeys. This may go a long way in explaining why nature has not seen fit to let us reproduce.
posted by malocchio at 7:09 AM on July 27, 2005

Can't you people see? It's Irving "Swifty" Lazar, back from the dead! (Couldn't find a pic)
posted by theperfectcrime at 11:05 AM on July 27, 2005

I thought there was nothing worse than the talking baby ads.

You want unheimlich? A love scene between Mr. Six and the Overstock.com lady. eeeeeee!
posted by Kafkaesque at 1:02 PM on July 27, 2005

simultaneously repulsed and fascinated - exactly
posted by Carbolic at 2:32 PM on July 27, 2005

He's great advertising, as good as I've ever seen. Evidence: Everyone here knows the character, everyone knows who he shills for, everyone has strong feelings one way or the other (no one does NOT care). Brilliant stuff, does just what it's supposed to. But that music is familiar, it wasn't written for the ads. Any ideas on that?
posted by humannature at 10:05 PM on August 6, 2005

Amusement park spokesmen/icons have been on a long, disturbing slide toward wholesomeness anyway. This began with the truly creepy and sinister Coney Island character of the 1890's, which led directly to the rounder, more cuddly Asbury Park "homage". This was followed by the increasingly bland but successful Mickey Mouse which resulted in a slew of forgettable plush-toy critters fronting for failed copycat parks. Mr. Six turns this right back around, and I for one am grateful.
posted by humannature at 2:37 AM on August 7, 2005