Comments on: Finding a girlfriend is a impossible - the proff

Finding a girlfriend is a impossible - the proff

bigmusic — Fri, 29 Jul 2005 20:29:58 -0800

Mathematical proof Mathematical proof that it is impossible to find a girlfriend. "Without going into the specifics of precisely which traits I admire, I will say that for a girl to be considered really beautiful to me, she should fall at least two standard deviations above the norm." -pdf here- via

By: bigmusic

bigmusic — Fri, 29 Jul 2005 20:31:24 -0800

Yep i screwed this post up. Please point it out to me.

By: Miko

Miko — Fri, 29 Jul 2005 20:39:02 -0800

There is a mere 50% chance that any given female will consider me even marginally attractive Um, that's generous. It's not a coin flip. But anyway,I'm more interested in the openly stated double standard: In practice, however, people are unlikely to consider pursuing a relationship with someone whose looks and personality just barely suffice. Let's make the rather conservative assumption, then, that a girl would go out with someone if and only if they were at least one standard deviation above her idea of average. So she's gotta be at two standard deviations above the average for the guy to like her, but she'll be perfectly satisfied with a guy who's in the minor leagues. Whatever. Carry your high standards to a lonely grave, my friend.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Fri, 29 Jul 2005 20:46:10 -0800

yeah, what a moron. He requires two standard deviations, but expects them to accept only one. weak.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Fri, 29 Jul 2005 20:48:46 -0800

Hmm.. Is it any wonder this guy's german?

By: iron chef morimoto

iron chef morimoto — Fri, 29 Jul 2005 20:50:05 -0800

That was remarkably meh. However, this reply is awesomeness.

By: Miko

Miko — Fri, 29 Jul 2005 20:51:53 -0800

Heh. He could write a second one "Why I Am Going to Hell".

By: drgonzo

drgonzo — Fri, 29 Jul 2005 21:01:03 -0800

i wish i could vote bad on this

By: Pigpen

Pigpen — Fri, 29 Jul 2005 21:27:36 -0800

Hmm.. Is it any wonder this guy's german? Except that if you read the FUQ, he says "The first twenty-one years of my life were spent in a little North American town called Regina"

By: watsondog

watsondog — Fri, 29 Jul 2005 21:47:06 -0800

With that attitude, he's nowhere near one standard deviation above average - more like two or three below. Attitude counts more than looks and a bad attitude is the ugliest thing on earth, as anybody older than 25 should realize. I will guarantee that if he does hook up with an attractive girl, a year later he'll be complaining about her being a psycho bitch or a whiney whore. This is partly because only an insane woman would have anything to do with this moron, but also partly because no woman will ever be good enough for His Majesty. He will always find something wrong about anybody he has a relationship with. I'm not surprised he's from Regina.

By: bigmusic

bigmusic — Fri, 29 Jul 2005 22:08:29 -0800

Perhaps I should have noted that this is a humor piece.

By: 23skidoo

23skidoo — Fri, 29 Jul 2005 22:58:06 -0800

If you have to tell someone it's supposed to be funny, then it's not.

By: NewBornHippy

NewBornHippy — Fri, 29 Jul 2005 23:20:15 -0800

I remember doing this sort of calculation when I was 14. 22 years later, my girlfriend and I are happy together and have two kids. What this calculation doesn't take into account is that you have to adjust to find, please and retain the girlfriend you fancy. Everytime you do that, you explore an other (possibly slightly overlapping) space of `...and also might like me.'

By: insomnia_lj

insomnia_lj — Fri, 29 Jul 2005 23:34:13 -0800

What a loser. Maybe he doesn't have a girlfriend because he's both unfunny and a bad mathematician. Getting a girlfriend is a really easy thing to do, so long as you're honest with yourself, emotionally open to others, and you're willing to ask the world for what you want. I have two wonderful partners and no space right now in my life for other serious relationships, but I bet I could find another good potential partner in short order, and could find a date or two within a week, if not in days. I didn't always feel this way, in part because I was quite shy and insecure when I was younger, but it was all pretty pointless in retrospect. I should've been less reclusive, shoegazery, and alcohol-sodden, and spent more time making out with cute gothy art students and computer geekettes instead.

By: pracowity

pracowity — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 00:39:28 -0800

Is there a "mathematical proof" page that proves how lame all mathematical proof jokes are?

By: bobo123

bobo123 — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 00:39:35 -0800

The stats aren't that much better for women, Newsweek once did a story in the 1980's that once you hit 30 your chances of getting married were 20%, if you were 35 you only had a 5% chance of getting married, and at 40 you were more likely to be killed by terrorists than get married. Though I would guess things are different nowadays as getting killed by terrorists seems to happen more often.

By: srboisvert

srboisvert — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 01:09:09 -0800

By: erdferkel

erdferkel — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 01:18:48 -0800

(Hey, I somehow know that guy, he's at my university!) Although he wrote that stuff some years ago in a completely different place, that kind of attitude is very common among students (etc.) in Kaiserslautern. The university specializes on science and engineering with all the typical consequences, the city is bleak and boring; so darkness and despair lurk in the hearts of many. If he still feels that way (five years being ample time to rethink and such), now he's at home. Or at least in likeminded company.

By: juv3nal

juv3nal — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 01:35:41 -0800

yeah, what a moron. He requires two standard deviations, but expects them to accept only one. weak. um...from the article: Let's make the rather conservative assumption, then, that a girl would go out with someone if and only if they were at least one standard deviation above her idea of average. that's conservative in terms of the strength of the conclusion. he doesn't expect 1 s.d., he supposes 1 s.d. to show that his conclusion still holds under a "conservative assumption": a greater number of s.d. above average required for acceptance only strengthens his conclusion.

By: jeffburdges

jeffburdges — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 03:43:07 -0800

Meh.. If you wanted to say this intellegently, you'd simply argue that: 10,000 years ago a significant precentage of males killed one another off, forcing the womeen to be less choosy about who harem they joined. But that seems like a waist of time. In truth, any given man or woman can improve his or her relationship and dating skillz by simply dating more. You know, date those people who seem to want you and you might not want at first. If you absolutely must try to undedrstand the opposite sex, almost all common behavior derives from these two principles: 1) A guy's genes want to get every girl he meets pregnant, but help raise the kids of the one who is likely too have the best kids. 2) A girl's genes want to get her pregnant by the alpha male, but convince some more reliable guy that he is the father. For example, the two "but" points explain why you have all those amazing platonic female friends who don't want to sleep with you.

By: CrunchyFrog

CrunchyFrog — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 05:57:33 -0800

Even if he gets a girlfriend, it would be detrimental to his studies. So he's probably better without one.

By: Shouting

Shouting — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 09:36:49 -0800

This is always true: When you have a woman, all the other women want you. When you don't have a woman, none of them will have you. I cannot explain this, but it is true.

By: timory

timory — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 10:02:12 -0800

shouting - my greek & roman mythology professor used that same idea to explain the nature of love in myth. so it must be true.

By: StickyCarpet

StickyCarpet — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 11:34:10 -0800

When you have a woman, all the other women want you. Yeah, I was standing at a club wondering why all these girls were rubbing their breasts on my arm as they walked by and then I realized, oh yeah, I am standing next to and talking to a French fashion model. Also, why is it that when a woman describes what she values in a man, she never goes for the guy that fits that description?

By: jonmc

jonmc — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 15:57:08 -0800

Also, why is it that when a woman describes what she values in a man, she never goes for the guy that fits that description? Because, women, by any rational standard, are insane. But then again so are men.

By: Ritchie

Ritchie — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 21:04:19 -0800

Damn it, insomnia_lj! You polyamorists are ruining the equation for the rest of us!

By: Decani

Decani — Sun, 31 Jul 2005 09:00:59 -0800

Ummm... why are so many of you taking this obviously tongue-in-cheek piece seriously? Did the place get a humour by-pass while I was away? And no, it isn't necessarily true that something is not funny if you have to be told it's supposed to be funny. That might just mean that it's funny and you're thick.

By: squ1rr3l

squ1rr3l — Mon, 01 Aug 2005 00:23:10 -0800

The article makes sense to me. Well, from positive point of view, if someone can win the odd against millions of others on 649, it's still possible for you to meet "one of the 18 726", isn't it?