Comments on: A womb with a view

A womb with a view

growabrain — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 02:30:42 -0800

Umbert The Unborn, the world's most lovable unborn baby & The wacky adventures of a fetus. Order now for Christmas

By: wakko

wakko — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 02:41:08 -0800

[this is good]

By: Mayor Curley

Mayor Curley — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 03:20:58 -0800

Always with the Orwellian "unborn." There's been a perfectly good word for that for centuries-- "fetus." Why isn't the character "Cletus the Fetus"? Because it doesn't have enogh doublespeak in it?

By: redsparkler

redsparkler — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 03:28:20 -0800

Ah, I thought it said unicorn at first glance, and then the whole fetus thing sounded really weird. Good thing I clocked on the link, huh? But I want more.

By: lee

lee — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 03:31:58 -0800

Coming soon "Umbert's Pro-life Page", ehem..........

By: bryak

bryak — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 04:11:35 -0800

i'm kind of interested where a comic with the same scene, character, and set-up in every frame can really go for 80 strips.

By: fvw

fvw — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 04:20:36 -0800

bryak: Apart from the final "Umbert gets aborted"…

By: PeterMcDermott

PeterMcDermott — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 04:33:37 -0800

Just what the world needs -- yet another polemical comic strip that isn't funny. Never mind, Umbert. Perhaps we'll get more laughs out of your situation when you grow up to become an altar boy, fending off the unwanted advances of your parish priest?

By: terpsichoria

terpsichoria — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 04:48:06 -0800

Wow, great for church bulletins and pro-life newsletters. Not that this is the first foetus-based comic I've seen, mind you...

By: R. Mutt

R. Mutt — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 05:08:30 -0800

Umbert? With his flat head and a name like Umbert, that kid is going to get sooo teased. Poor Umbert.

By: Shouting

Shouting — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 05:15:47 -0800

Very good link. I look forward to reading the site as it develops. They've just started. Give them some time. It's time to start holding women responsible for their sexual actions. Why should they get a pass. We hound men into the grave if they father a child. Children (and men) have rights, too.

By: caddis

caddis — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 05:31:11 -0800

Brilliant.

By: bevets

bevets — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 06:21:31 -0800

Mayor Curley Always with the Orwellian "unborn." There's been a perfectly good word for that for centuries-- "fetus." Why isn't the character "Cletus the Fetus"? Because it doesn't have enogh doublespeak in it? 'Fetus' is a clinical term. It is used by clinicians and people who are ambivilent about the humanity of their children. Parents who love their children do not attempt to obfuscate their identity with clinical terms.

By: bryak

bryak — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 06:25:50 -0800

i unfortunately lack the artistic skill, but someone really needs to make a zombie rights comic called "umbert the undead". it could be about a poor zombie who is stuck in a coffin, unable to escape, with frame after frame of him, underground, talking about how nice it would be to not be buried anymore.

By: tr33hggr

tr33hggr — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 06:41:32 -0800

Children (and men) have rights, too. Oh man, ha ha haha, whew, damn that's hilarious. Where's your tip jar?

By: pracowity

pracowity — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 06:42:41 -0800

i'm kind of interested where a comic with the same scene, character, and set-up in every frame can really go for 80 strips. A little superfetation and suddenly you've got Umbert's wacky younger twin Oliver.

By: paul_smatatoes

paul_smatatoes — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 06:43:17 -0800

Shouting, are you John Roberts?

By: Mayor Curley

Mayor Curley — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 06:56:49 -0800

'Fetus' is a clinical term. It is used by clinicians and people who are ambivilent about the humanity of their children. Parents who love their children do not attempt to obfuscate their identity with clinical terms. Doubleplusungood. People who are objective use a term that isn't created to exploit the intellectual shortcomings of people. "Unborn" is a propaganda term coined to raise the hackles of fat ladies with Precious Moments figurines and a painting of Jesus in a nightie.

By: tr33hggr

tr33hggr — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 06:59:11 -0800

Spot on MC.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 07:00:47 -0800

Always with the Orwellian "unborn." As bryak alludes to, it would be more Orwellian if it weren't the direct counterpart to "undead." I wonder if they're the zombie kind of unlife, or the lycanthropic or vampiric varieties. I suppose they're closest to vampiric -- live on another's blood, can't stand sunlight, etc.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 07:04:49 -0800

Curley, talking to the bevets is feeding it. If metafilter is a boring place where he has no fun, bevets might go away.

By: themadjuggler

themadjuggler — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 07:13:07 -0800

I was so sure this was satire. I was so wrong.

By: matteo

matteo — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 07:22:47 -0800

what themadjuggler said. _________________ Children (and men) have rights, too. you forgot spermatozoa -- they have rights, too. those who whine about the tragedy of the oppressed white man are among the funniest people on earth -- the dictatorship of lesbian Buddhist black women has gone on for millennia now

By: wakko

wakko — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 07:29:32 -0800

I await the introduction of ancillary character Larry the Coathanger, once roe v. wade is overturned.

By: Shouting

Shouting — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 07:39:36 -0800

I didn't "who whine about the tragedy of the oppressed white man." I said that men (not white men) and children have rights, too. And they do. I didn't argue that anybody's rights should be diminished. You just made that up. Get the chip off your shoulder and develop the ability to actually hear what others say.

By: Armitage Shanks

Armitage Shanks — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 07:41:24 -0800

Unborn" is a propaganda term I thought that was "preborn".

By: Ron

Ron — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 07:48:20 -0800

Anti-born?

By: paul_smatatoes

paul_smatatoes — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 07:51:52 -0800

shouting, matteo didn't accuse you of anything. looking mighty defensive there, eh, chief?

By: Armitage Shanks

Armitage Shanks — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 08:11:51 -0800

Apparently, Umbert is pro-war.

By: three blind mice

three blind mice — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 08:18:21 -0800

who says I'm not viable? God. You know, the one who didn't create you fully formed.

By: piers

piers — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 08:22:41 -0800

I love that he has a camo background in that strip, Armitage.

By: rdone

rdone — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 08:36:41 -0800

Armitage: That jingoistic strip is nauseating. All I can think of is Stewie on "The Family Guy": a trapped little alien spouting anthropomorphic nonsense. Coming soon: "Billy the Blastocyte" "Pinky the Plucky Spermatazoan" "Andrew the Allele" "Corky the Deoxyribonucleic Helix" Talk about infinite regress. . .

By: kamylyon

kamylyon — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 08:39:37 -0800

Reminds me of the Eggbert comics from way back.

By: Shouting

Shouting — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 08:46:45 -0800

It's not "jingoism." It's good old fashioned patriotism. The cartoonist does a very good job of presenting it. In the U.S., if a man fathers a child, even without his consent or knowledge, he is liable for the financial support of that child until the age of 21. Many men have been imprisoned, and lost their property for failing to support children they didn't even want. Why, exactly, should men be hounded throughout their lives for fathering an unwanted child, when women are simply let off scot free? Why shouldn't women be held to the same standard of responsibility that we expect of men? On the other side, many men have been deprived of children they wanted by women who unilaterally aborted their unborn child. Men, and children have rights, too. I hope the author of Umbert keeps up the fight. As you can see from this thread, he (or she) will face endless ridicule, hatred and spite from the opposition. It's a fight worth fighting. Here's to the day that Roe v. Wade is finally overturned!

By: bevets

bevets — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 08:47:26 -0800

'Fetus' is a clinical term. It is used by clinicians and people who are ambivilent about the humanity of their children. Parents who love their children do not attempt to obfuscate their identity with clinical terms. rdone All I can think of is Stewie on "The Family Guy": a trapped little alien spouting anthropomorphic nonsense. Coming soon: "Billy the Blastocyte" "Pinky the Plucky Spermatazoan" "Andrew the Allele" "Corky the Deoxyribonucleic Helix" Talk about infinite regress. . . The regress is finite. A person begins at conception. murder: killing an innocent person when you have the ability not to kill that person. person: someone with unique human chromosomes that will continue to grow if provided with nutrition and protection. The only reason to suggest ANY other definition is to justify killing other people. child: a person with 2 parents abortion = child murder Victims? Don't be melodramatic. Look down there. Would you really feel any pity if one of those dots stopped moving forever? If I offered you 20,000 pounds for every dot that stopped, would you really, old man, tell me to keep my money? Or would you calculate how many dots you could afford to spare? Free of income tax, old man, free of income tax. The only way you can save money nowadays. ~ Harry Lime

By: petrilli

petrilli — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 08:48:52 -0800

Wow, the Internet really does give everyone the opportunity to suck.

By: kalimac

kalimac — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 08:52:27 -0800

If I had an ounce of drawing talent, I would satire this strip in a moment. Larry the post-Roe V. Wade coathanger would be my favorite character. Well, him and Lisa the Lysol Bottle. (Is it wrong that I squealed a little with joy, clutched my hands to my chest and sighed "Bevets is here! Now it's really and abortion thread!" Yes? Right then.)

By: wakko

wakko — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 08:54:58 -0800

Sweet. Bevets. The thread is now complete.

By: rdone

rdone — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 09:17:59 -0800

bevets, my dear: We have an enormous moral problem in this world caring for the *born* children: little screaming Iraqi girls whose parents have just been shot down by US soldiers. Starving children in Niger. Starving children in Darfur. Starving children in your home town of Anytown, USA. . . . Please excuse me if I care more about the born than the unborn. Fetishizing blastocytes is not the highest and best use of my moral sensibilities. I hope you expend as much spiritual capital seeing to the welfare of actual, breathing children as you apparently do on behalf of potential members of the citizenry.

By: papakwanz

papakwanz — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 09:23:38 -0800

Shouting is opposed to unilateral actions?

By: moonbird

moonbird — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 09:23:50 -0800

This is silly: "child: a person with 2 parents." What is a child being raised in a single parent household, then? I guess you'd probably call them a "bastard." Tip o' the hat to compassionate conservatism then. Meh.

By: signal

signal — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 09:48:03 -0800

person: someone with unique human chromosomes I always suspected identical twins weren't REAL people.

By: amberglow

amberglow — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 09:51:03 -0800

what rdone said.

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 09:52:34 -0800

"Unborn" is a propaganda term coined to raise the hackles of fat ladies with Precious Moments figurines and a painting of Jesus in a nightie. But that's the target market. Cletus the Fetus wouldn't sell to them, which would rather miss the entire point, eh? A person begins at conception. LOL! God aborts most people, then. Between blastocytes that don't implant and embryos that are miscarried, it's actually pretty unlikely that conception will lead to birth. Most natural abortions take place within the first trimester, and so do most medical abortions. If God's okay with the former, I'm okay with the latter! God promoted the slaying of entire tribes back in ye goode olde testamental days. Hell, He offed almost the entire human race at one point! The loss of a cluster of parasitic cells must certainly be no big deal to Him. Unclench, bevets. Abortion has always been a fact of human existence and always will be. It is impossible to stop it. All we as decent people can do is make sure it's as safe as possible.

By: signal

signal — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 09:53:52 -0800

Oh, and way to preemptively dehumanize clones. Never to early to start defining an underclass.

By: signal

signal — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 09:57:05 -0800

Another interesting point point of "person: someone with unique human chromosomes" is that the moment somebody is cloned, they lose their human status (as they're not unique anymore), so, by Bevet's definition it's alright to kill them.

By: SisterHavana

SisterHavana — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 10:28:00 -0800

I can't wait to see his heretofore unintroduced twin sister, Patty the Preborn.

By: mosch

mosch — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 10:31:52 -0800

Personally, I believe that an abortion is the greatest gift a mother can give their unborn fetus. Unborn children are innocent. The innocent spend eternity in heaven. As such, an abortion is a parent's way to guarantee their child a life of eternal bliss.

By: mosch

mosch — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 10:32:54 -0800

signal: it's also okay to kill identical twins.

By: Kwantsar

Kwantsar — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 10:36:31 -0800

Most natural abortions take place within the first trimester, and so do most medical abortions. If God's okay with the former, I'm okay with the latter! Everyone dies, eventually, and sometimes people are murdered. If God's okay with the former, I'm okay with the latter!

By: 235w103

235w103 — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 10:47:38 -0800

As such, an abortion is a parent's way to guarantee their child a life of eternal bliss. This is actually basically the argument that Augustine gives in his "City of God" for celebrating infant deaths- there's no chance for them to sin! They HAVE to go to heaven! It creeps the hell out of me, personally.

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 10:49:04 -0800

Oooh, you got me there, kwantsar, addressing my deliberately facetious argument against bevet's sincere but stupid argument with your very own bit of doggeral!

By: weretable and the undead chairs

weretable and the undead chairs — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 11:12:13 -0800

Umbert sounds like a miniboss in a bad Nintendo game.

By: tula

tula — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 11:12:30 -0800

Five Fresh is right to question why we've bought into the propaganda that god is anti-choice. Women have been preventing, avoiding and aborting pregnancies for centuries, sometimes safely, many times not. I bet girls of Jesus' day knew which wise old crone to visit to get the right herbs or whatever they did back then. If it was so damn important to god, why no real mention in the bible? Why doesn't it rate it's own commandment?, rather than fitting under than umbrella (with all those holes) of not killing? except animals, in wars, murderers, when god says it's ok, to prevent something really bad from happening, if someone trespasses, revenge, etc.

By: voltairemodern

voltairemodern — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 11:17:50 -0800

I am sad that this thread has no tags. They surely would have been quite amusing.

By: matteo

matteo — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 11:18:17 -0800

If God's okay with the former, I'm okay with the latter! we knew that already, aren't you pro-IraqAttaq?

By: bdragon

bdragon — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 11:24:23 -0800

Uh, I'm pregnant and I still call it a "fetus"... not my "unborn" (which sounds creepy). I'm not unloving or ambivalent about his or her humanity. I do have to live with the fact that it could still die any day inside of me and there's not really a thing I can do about it anyway, whether it's a cord accident or placenta abruptio or something else. I didn't truly realize until I was pregnant the myriad of things that can go wrong and prevent you from seeing it through to the end whether you like it or not. Poor Umbert - he'd better watch out lest the placenta that sustains him separates from the uterine wall! This comic strip is just so obvious about its "message" - which is why it's really not that good. I'd prefer to read something actually built with creativity and not just this very apparent goal of "I have to get my message out there". Oh yeah, and I'm still pro-choice (gasp). bevets et. al., stay the fuck out of my womb.

By: bibliowench

bibliowench — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 11:32:57 -0800

This is actually basically the argument that Augustine gives in his "City of God" for celebrating infant deaths- there's no chance for them to sin! They HAVE to go to heaven! It creeps the hell out of me, personally. I'm curious - where in ecclesiastical dogma does Dante's limbo fit in - all those babies who died before they were baptized, a lapse that keeps them out of heaven? Scare tactics from the church to encourage parish registration? Or just some cardinal who hated kids? Regardless, I'm glad I gave birth before seeing this "comic." Envisioning a little jingoistic Umbert squirming inside me would have creeped me right the fuck out. Even the Giger-esqe creatures my mind created on my worst days were more comforting.

By: joe lisboa

joe lisboa — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 11:37:35 -0800

The strip that Armitage linked to really turned my stomach. Ignoring the fact that Umbert, if and when he's born, will face a world made far more dangerous by (the orders given to) Uncle Bob and his buddies, the moral myopia exhibited by most on this issue is stunning. God save a goddamn blastocyst, but screw the living innocent in those "far away places." Take every penny you're spending and every tear you're shedding and every sermon you're bleating on behalf of that "culture of life" and dedicate it to alleviating poverty and war and the otherwise-easily preventable deaths of living children, and then I'll start buying your CoL bullshit. Until then, I'll treat it like it is: transparent pandering. (bdragon: congrats and good luck!)

By: Chasuk

Chasuk — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 12:28:02 -0800

A person begins at conception. I know that I am just feeding a troll here, but I can't help myself. A "person" begins when consciousness arises. If consciousness never arises, no person exists. I'd be willing to grant a pink lawn flamingo personhood if it demonstrably possessed consciousness. murder: killing an innocent person when you have the ability not to kill that person. Bevets, you filthy fucking murderer. All of those innocent people that you have let starve to death (some as I type these words) when it is within your power to prevent it. You fucking bastard.

By: Rev. Syung Myung Me

Rev. Syung Myung Me — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 12:32:05 -0800

Heh, sent this link to a friend, and he said: the name makes me think all "Umbert Umbert, the Fetus Fucker" (he then clarified that Umbert Umbert has a thing for embryos).

By: funambulist

funambulist — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 13:15:18 -0800

Umbert, Lolita, Kubrick.... the starchild?

By: funambulist

funambulist — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 13:17:07 -0800

Seriously, there's something noticeably absent from that picture. Now fetuses don't just behave like teenagers who whine about being misunderstood and wish they were already in college, they also float around in some unspecified container, might as well be Tupperware. Or, indeed, the space between galaxies.

By: bevets

bevets — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 13:19:28 -0800

Unclench, five fresh fish. Murder has always been a fact of human existence and always will be. It is impossible to stop it. All we as decent people can do is make sure it's as safe as possible.

By: ToasT

ToasT — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 13:29:01 -0800

If Umbert's unborn because he's living pre-birth, would that make me undead?

By: delmoi

delmoi — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 13:42:13 -0800

I know that I am just feeding a troll here, but I can't help myself. A "person" begins when consciousness arises. If consciousness never arises, no person exists. Wow, thats a really easy thing to test for...

By: [insert clever name here]

[insert clever name here] — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 14:16:22 -0800

Another interesting point point of "person: someone with unique human chromosomes" is that the moment somebody is cloned, they lose their human status (as they're not unique anymore), so, by Bevet's definition it's alright to kill them. But is it alright to kill their fetuses?

By: Kloryne

Kloryne — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 14:18:41 -0800

Umbert: The World's Most Lovable Unborn Hack Comedian

By: [insert clever name here]

[insert clever name here] — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 14:24:56 -0800

Clearly, dictionary.com is trying to justify killing people. http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=person I <3 bevets.

By: Chasuk

Chasuk — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 14:28:47 -0800

Wow, thats a really easy thing to test for... My sarcasm detector has been on the blink recently, so I don't know whether sarcasm was intended here. However, as it stands, consciousness doesn't have to be tested for, but merely the possibility of consciousness. Consciousness or "mind" is a consequence of the anatomy and physiology of the brain. Further, mind begins in experience, as Kant demonstrated long ago in his "Critique of Pure Reason." A fetus does experience sensory input, but not of the type or duration that would allow consciousness to have arisen, at least within the meaning of being aware of being aware. A fetus cannot be conscious. A fetus is a human animal, not a human being. I reserve the term "human being" for human animals in which consciousness has arisen. For the words "human being" substitute the word "person." A fetus is no more of a person than is a Hereford, and, PETA objections aside, we legally kill millions of cows per year. If I morally objected to the killing of animals, period, then I would be a vegetarian, but that is another argument.

By: Hactar

Hactar — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 15:34:44 -0800

To bring a certain amount of light on the other options for Umbert, I bring you Hank, the dancing Abortion. I'd rather have Hank around than Umbert any day.

By: mosch

mosch — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 17:14:49 -0800

Murder has always been a fact of human existence and always will be. It is impossible to stop it. All we as decent people can do is make sure it's as safe as possible. This explains your support for the invasion and occupation of Iraq.

By: Jimbob

Jimbob — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 17:33:11 -0800

Bevets: Making Murder Safer!

By: OhPuhLeez

OhPuhLeez — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 22:01:06 -0800

What bdragon said. And I'm carrying around two of those fetuses myself right now.

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 22:15:33 -0800

I've got a fetus in a snowglobe. When you shake it, it plays What Child Is This, but with a polka beat. It's quite the conversation piece.

By: ed

ed — Sat, 30 Jul 2005 22:30:14 -0800

This is so behind the curve. Clearly, Doug Paszkiewiz's zombie fetuses were there first.

By: hifiparasol

hifiparasol — Sun, 31 Jul 2005 00:06:11 -0800

Y'all are forgetting Freddie the Floating Foetus from this superb comic. And I'd sure like to know who bevets and Shouting think they're convincing. If anything, I'm more pro-choice after reading their comments.

By: leftcoastbob

leftcoastbob — Sun, 31 Jul 2005 06:53:48 -0800

I've got a fetus in a snowglobe. When you shake it, it plays What Child Is This, but with a polka beat. This is, without a doubt, the funniest thing I've seen in days. Thanks, fff.

By: bevets

bevets — Sun, 31 Jul 2005 07:05:50 -0800

hifiparasol And I'd sure like to know who bevets and Shouting think they're convincing. If anything, I'm more pro-choice after reading their comments. Typical pro abortion sentiment: COMPLETELY void of substance. LA LA LA LA LA LA ABORTION IS GREAT LA LA LA LA LA LA LEAVE ME ALONE LA LA LA LA LA ABORTION IS GREAT LA LA LA LA LA LA

By: raedyn

raedyn — Sun, 31 Jul 2005 07:18:32 -0800

child: a person with 2 parents Wonderful. I'm sure every child of a single parent or of divorced & remarried parents is so glad to know that you don't count them as a person. Very compassionate and inclusive of you. Way to go with the blaming kids for something completely beyond their control. Teriffic.

By: signal

signal — Sun, 31 Jul 2005 09:23:26 -0800

I like how bevets chooses that one post to pick on, while completely ignoring the like 25 others that critique his “logic”. Advice: putting something in all caps doesn’t lend any force to your “argument”.

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Sun, 31 Jul 2005 10:08:36 -0800

Hey, it appears that Bevets may have made the news!

By: hifiparasol

hifiparasol — Sun, 31 Jul 2005 12:34:31 -0800

Bevets: I am undone by the sheer juggernaut force of your all-in-caps dissertation. Clearly you have revealed to me the true nature of our conflict, wherein my own comments are devoid of substance and yours contain the words "LA LA LA LA LA." O Fortuna! O Merciless Fate! Why have you abandoned me in the face of such a lyric and flawless deluge of argumentation! Signal, you've got a good point. The reason my comment was a bit more on the snarky side and a bit less on the analytical side is because I really don't belive any logical argument or reasoned refutation will have the slightest impact on either of the posters I mentioned.

By: fungible

fungible — Sun, 31 Jul 2005 13:39:43 -0800

I don't know about you guys, but I really want to kill little Umbert right now.

By: Rev. Syung Myung Me

Rev. Syung Myung Me — Sun, 31 Jul 2005 14:42:21 -0800

Why did you kill me, fungi'?