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Son of Sam!
August 4, 2005 11:57 AM   Subscribe

Sam, the World's Ugliest Dog
posted by 김치 (79 comments total)

 
He needs his claws trimmed, poor guy!
posted by By The Grace of God at 11:59 AM on August 4, 2005


What he needs is a gallon of antifreeze in his water dish.

My god.

If i saw something like that in the middle of the road, I'd speed up.
posted by wakko at 12:04 PM on August 4, 2005


I imagine that's what Dick Cheney's soul look like.
posted by paddbear at 12:05 PM on August 4, 2005


I think he's cute.
posted by swift at 12:12 PM on August 4, 2005


Definitely aesthetically challenged, that mutt is!!!
posted by ramix at 12:14 PM on August 4, 2005


That thing belongs with the Crypt Keeper.
posted by prostyle at 12:16 PM on August 4, 2005


He's not so shaggy.
posted by klangklangston at 12:17 PM on August 4, 2005


I'm with wakko, some critters are just too ugly to abide.

Just think, someone voluntarily adopted this thing.
posted by cedar at 12:17 PM on August 4, 2005


Holy shit, that is one ugly dog
posted by JeffL at 12:19 PM on August 4, 2005


damn.
posted by selfmedicating at 12:19 PM on August 4, 2005


Wow, that is one ugly dog. It looks likes it walked off the set of Braindead .
posted by mkultra at 12:21 PM on August 4, 2005


Yikes. That thing looks like it clawed its way out of the pet cemetary.

If Dorian Gray had a pet, that would be it.
posted by clevershark at 12:21 PM on August 4, 2005


Kill it.
posted by armoured-ant at 12:22 PM on August 4, 2005


Dick Cheney doesn't have a soul, not even one that looks like Sam.
posted by caddis at 12:22 PM on August 4, 2005


I can't stop giggling. I bet he has a great personality.
posted by shawnj at 12:51 PM on August 4, 2005


i would only touch it with one of those backscratchers with a little hand on the end.
posted by tarantula at 1:01 PM on August 4, 2005


Shouldn't somebody make an "I'd hit it" joke about now?

Like with a club or something?
posted by ook at 1:04 PM on August 4, 2005


I'd hit it, with an eleven foot pole.
posted by Floydd at 1:05 PM on August 4, 2005


Curse you, ook!!!
posted by Floydd at 1:06 PM on August 4, 2005


Right on cue!
posted by ook at 1:16 PM on August 4, 2005


I can't wait for the Sam t-shirts!

So that's where feisty got it.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 1:22 PM on August 4, 2005


I'd adopt it -- Hey, i took in a cat fercornssakes
posted by gorgor_balabala at 1:29 PM on August 4, 2005


Is it me, or does he have more toenails than strictly necessary?
posted by uosuaq at 1:43 PM on August 4, 2005


Wow. Who knew they actually had a live model for the zombie dogs in the Resident Evil series?

This thing could make me ruin my undies.
posted by John Smallberries at 1:49 PM on August 4, 2005


JESUS FUCK, SOMEBODY HAND ME MY FLAMETHROWER. AUGH! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!
posted by keswick at 2:04 PM on August 4, 2005


I have never felt abject terror when looking at a picture. There is a first time for everything. For that, Sam, I commend you.
posted by mr.curmudgeon at 2:05 PM on August 4, 2005


OMG. Looks like he walked out of so many of the greatest films of my youth. Wonder if he moves like he is being controlled by a guy with a radio controlled handset.
posted by fire&wings at 2:07 PM on August 4, 2005


There are too many toe-nails. Too many.

Too many...too many.
posted by odinsdream at 2:10 PM on August 4, 2005


I agree with odinsdream.
posted by agregoli at 2:11 PM on August 4, 2005


"Sam receiving his facial treatment"

Sorry lady. You could blow a whole wad on that beast but it just won't take.
posted by hal9k at 2:11 PM on August 4, 2005


That dog looks like the fucking crypt-keeper.
posted by psmealey at 2:22 PM on August 4, 2005


The pic of him gnawing on his back paw is precious. So cute.
posted by effwerd at 2:39 PM on August 4, 2005


Paging Mr. King...Mr. Stephen King...
posted by ericb at 2:39 PM on August 4, 2005


Yup.
posted by five fresh fish at 2:47 PM on August 4, 2005


I would to.
posted by crunchywelch at 2:57 PM on August 4, 2005


Keswick said "AUGH! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!"

Looks like someone already tried.
posted by Nauip at 3:00 PM on August 4, 2005


This is a douple post, but I can't find the other story. Which is too bad, because it's all about him winning a competition for World's Ugliest Dog...
posted by Specklet at 3:00 PM on August 4, 2005


Wow. If you watch the video (REAL or WMV), he speaks.
posted by dobbs at 3:10 PM on August 4, 2005


It don't get no uglier unless it's dead, folks...
posted by Parannoyed at 3:11 PM on August 4, 2005


This is what you get when you start cloning dogs. But did you listen? No. Clearly not.
posted by hal9k at 3:12 PM on August 4, 2005


Now I know who to cast as Dogmeat in my upcoming Fallout movie.

SOMEBODY HAND ME MY FLAMETHROWER. AUGH! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

Spoiler alert!

posted by furiousthought at 3:28 PM on August 4, 2005


"Sam receiving his facial treatment"

Anything other than a sawed-off is a waste of time and materials.

Put me down on the AUGH! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE! list.
posted by quantumetric at 3:28 PM on August 4, 2005


i like him, he's the kind of dog you sit on your porch with and enjoy the fact that no one is going to try to come up and sell you anything. ever.

Plus he's old, so i bet he's really laid back, unlike the hellspawn Australian Cattle Dog i am presently cursed with.
posted by quin at 3:37 PM on August 4, 2005


I'm not sure if this is a double, but i distinctly remember seeing this on Fark.

To everyone who's saying the thing should be snuffed, don't worry, the thing's ooold, essentially blind, and ready to kick the pooper scooper any day now.
posted by PurplePorpoise at 3:43 PM on August 4, 2005


AUGH! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

Y'all keep saying that. But I think you mean "Take off and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."

Certainly 7 canisters of CN-20 might not do in.. that.

Poor little guy. I hope his people take good care of him, and know when it's time for him to take the dirt nap.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:57 PM on August 4, 2005


To all of you who think this dog is cute: now I know how ugly people get laid.
posted by Moral Animal at 3:59 PM on August 4, 2005


he's not so bad! actually, I haven't even clicked the link yet.
posted by mcsweetie at 4:09 PM on August 4, 2005


HOLY LORD IT'S A MONSTER
posted by mcsweetie at 4:10 PM on August 4, 2005


I once thought I wanted a Chinese Crested Hairless, because of this picture. Ooh, I thought! A bishonen dog!

Now I know better.
posted by darksasami at 4:29 PM on August 4, 2005


Thanks for that, 김치, I haven't had a nightmare in weeks!

Those eyes. THOSE FUCKING EYES.
posted by DakotaPaul at 4:30 PM on August 4, 2005


That video was sweet. Just imagine, some day your mother may be that ugly.
posted by Citizen Premier at 4:42 PM on August 4, 2005


I swear, I had a cat that looked just like this.
His name was Skuzzlebutt, or Skuzz for short.
He died last year, but he lived to be 4 years old.
He was more of a goblin than a cat.
He was kinda slimy and moist, which is strange because cats don't have sweat glands.
He skuttled between dark, warm places in the house. The other cats never really accepted him.
He just lurked in the dark places, staring at you. I miss that little guy.
posted by Balisong at 6:13 PM on August 4, 2005


To all of you who think this dog is cute: now I know how ugly people get laid.

No, that's alcohol.
posted by effwerd at 6:28 PM on August 4, 2005


Did anybody see the movie "Gremlins"? Somebody fed it after midnight. (Yes Bugbread, I did just refer to a corporate product.)

About the poor dawg, hey, at least I'm not THAT ugly. Toenail clipping does help somewhat.

> To all of you who think this dog is cute: now I know how ugly people get laid.

>> No, that's alcohol.

So gettiing really loaded really does improve my looks? NOW ya tell me. Guzzling bourbon is so much easier than learning social skills or how to accessorize with scarves and belts.

And shame on you people: if you must kill this dog do it gently, with gas and lethal injection. It ain't HIS fault he's hideous, unlike Michael Jackson.
posted by davy at 6:56 PM on August 4, 2005


That looks like something a dog would throw up.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 7:18 PM on August 4, 2005


What's with his eyes?
posted by bshort at 8:13 PM on August 4, 2005


I don't know what's up with that first picture,, but he looks fine in the rest. I've never found Chinese Cresteds particularly ugly.
posted by abcde at 8:38 PM on August 4, 2005



posted by jimmy at 8:39 PM on August 4, 2005


"This is his hernia lump here..." Ay-yay-yay.
posted by moonbird at 9:01 PM on August 4, 2005


if you must kill this dog do it gently, with gas and lethal injection

I put it to you that gas or lethal injection would both hurt more than orbital thermonuclear bombardment would. A few gigatons worth of nuke moving at several kilometers per second, and one microsecond you're fine, the next microsecond you're plasma.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:16 PM on August 4, 2005


He looks like the decomposing Walter Donovan in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
posted by sellout at 9:23 PM on August 4, 2005


Helloooooo Nightmares (/me is scared to go to bed now)
posted by AspectRatio at 10:08 PM on August 4, 2005


First reaction: Jesus God! That's the ugliest fucking dog I've ever seen in my entire fucking life!

That's coming from a woman who adopted a dog with one collapsed eyeball.
posted by mygothlaundry at 10:09 PM on August 4, 2005


Holy shit on a stick. I was just about to go to bed.

I think my scalp just crawled clear off my head.
posted by 5MeoCMP at 12:11 AM on August 5, 2005


For comparison: Mr. Winkle, Cutest Dog in the Universe
posted by obloquy at 12:47 AM on August 5, 2005


Actually, the web site's not all that appealing, either.
posted by alumshubby at 1:08 AM on August 5, 2005


What if it mated with this:


posted by strawberryviagra at 2:36 AM on August 5, 2005


What the hell is that? A mole?
posted by Acey at 5:31 AM on August 5, 2005


Fuck nose
posted by strawberryviagra at 5:32 AM on August 5, 2005


Q: What if it mated with this?

A: What's with the hate, man? The HATE?
posted by If I Had An Anus at 7:13 AM on August 5, 2005


obloquy: thanks for that link! It's all very clear to me now.

Inevitably, Sam and Mr. Winkle will one day duel to the death. CIVILIZATION HANGS IN THE BALANCE!
posted by 김치 at 7:14 AM on August 5, 2005


That's a naked mole rat, acey. They're cool. Go rent Fast, Cheap, and Out Of Control immediately; you'll be glad you did.
posted by ook at 7:22 AM on August 5, 2005


that is the saddest thing i have ever seen.
posted by rabbitmoon at 8:04 AM on August 5, 2005


That cat with the kittens is equal parts cool and cute. I don't think cats are capable of being anything but.

The dog, though, is straight out of Braindead / Dead Alive.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 8:34 AM on August 5, 2005


Mr Winkle is scarier.
posted by jb at 8:57 AM on August 5, 2005


I thought of the dog in The Stranger. Fucking hideous.
posted by OmieWise at 12:22 PM on August 5, 2005


It's the kind of dog that could have been used at Abu Ghraib. I know it'd have scared the shit outta me. "Please, sir, just beat me instead!"
posted by five fresh fish at 12:43 PM on August 5, 2005


I would like to rewind my life to the point just before I clicked on that link and saw that dog, please.
posted by zombiebunny at 2:51 PM on August 5, 2005


One of these days the woman who adopted that horror is going to wake up and find that it's eating her face.
posted by orange swan at 4:31 PM on August 5, 2005


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