dog condoms?

August 8, 2005 7:41 PM

Have you ever had one of those days where you can't decide whether you want to post about the recall of dog condoms or about the Russian mail order bride online service that tailors exclusively to amputee fetishists? I'm having that right now.
posted by jonson (33 comments total)

Seriously. Meat flavored dog condoms.
posted by jonson at 7:42 PM on August 8, 2005

Seriously. Bullshit. A photoshopped Trojans box, no contact info.
posted by team lowkey at 7:46 PM on August 8, 2005

The choking hazard stuff is pretty funny, though.
posted by team lowkey at 7:48 PM on August 8, 2005

Decisions.. decisions...
posted by CG at 7:52 PM on August 8, 2005

My favorite quote:

"Can I Train My Dog To Put It On Himself?

No, the dog will require human intervention each time he wishes to put on or take off a condom."

jonson: your name takes on a certain (meat flavoured) connotation today. But I guess that's just the kind of day you're having.

Seriously (somewhat): what in the world would lead to a meat flavoured condom for dogs- what dog is supposed to want that scent associated with its genitalia? I've never heard of canines engaging in oral sex (with each other- sure I've heard the urban myth).
posted by birdsquared at 7:52 PM on August 8, 2005

I know... post both of them, with a second comment, and we'll all post two comments.
posted by CG at 7:53 PM on August 8, 2005

team lowkey - ahh, of course. You'd think I would have learned that lesson by now.
posted by birdsquared at 7:53 PM on August 8, 2005

and with my 2nd comment... we're done.
posted by jonson at 7:56 PM on August 8, 2005

The internet is wacky and stuff.
posted by stbalbach at 8:01 PM on August 8, 2005

A dog condom would have to be flavored like poop or roadkill for any dog to be at all interested in it. But I love the idea of some freaked out homeowner trying to get a rubber on her Butchie before he mounts the neighbor's dog. Much better than the gaggle of women on milking machines I had before.

What was the other link about again?
posted by fenriq at 8:06 PM on August 8, 2005

My guess is on a hoax. Legitimate businesses have no need to hide their contact information via Whois.
posted by Rothko at 8:06 PM on August 8, 2005

Russian based dog-flavored amputee fetishists?
posted by Balisong at 8:10 PM on August 8, 2005

Suggested reading: Lives of the Monster Dogs by Kirsten Bakis, and Dr. Adder by K. W. Jeter.
posted by 31d1 at 8:18 PM on August 8, 2005

yeah, like i was about to get a russian amputee for my dog, but i was just thinking i need to get some dog condoms first :D

damn!
posted by kliuless at 8:20 PM on August 8, 2005

Amputee Russian mail order brides? I don't doubt that many of the people on either side of the amputee mail order bride business are decent people, but you can't help thinking that it would also attract an even lower rung of creepy losers, too.

"Tatiana, stop yer blubberin'. It's like I already told ya, darlin'. You'll get your leg back just as soon as you clean the chicken coops and stew the opossum. Now hop along, wrasslin's on TV"
posted by Davenhill at 8:30 PM on August 8, 2005

Jonson, did you happen to get the idea for the Russion brides from Something Positive? Randy did a strip on it just a few days ago.
posted by mikeweeney at 8:38 PM on August 8, 2005

At least she won't run away on you.
posted by Space Coyote at 8:43 PM on August 8, 2005

That's awesome... no, I actually got the link off of a mailing list I'm on. Although, I wouldn't be surprised if the source of the strip is the same as the source for the mailing list, internet memes being what they are.
posted by jonson at 8:54 PM on August 8, 2005

I was actually mulling Dr. James Dobson's account of belt-whipping his miniature Dachshund.
posted by troutfishing at 9:51 PM on August 8, 2005

Damn, that Russian amputee bride site just pisses me off.
posted by Plinko at 11:38 PM on August 8, 2005

'Rowf! Rowf!'

'What's that Rover? By the time you got the fucking foil off and got the damn thing on you weren't in the mood anymore?'
posted by biffa at 2:21 AM on August 9, 2005

I, for one, welcome....aw, forget it.
posted by alumshubby at 5:04 AM on August 9, 2005

I hear that those mail order bride places don't usually deliver on the, uh, goods.

A friend of mine placed his order and anxiously awaited the delivery of his new wife. He waited, and waited, and waited some more.

Finally, he called and they told him (in heavily accented English), "The chick is in the mail."
posted by jeffbarr at 6:12 AM on August 9, 2005

Jeffbarr, your joke would have been better if it were a czech mail order bride service.
posted by piratebowling at 8:00 AM on August 9, 2005

Ok, are you two finnish yet?
posted by parallax7d at 10:30 AM on August 9, 2005

There's Norway I'd tell such an awful pun.
posted by jonson at 11:35 AM on August 9, 2005

Not even to Sweden up a lover of awful puns.
posted by jonson at 11:36 AM on August 9, 2005

I wouldn't touch any of those puns with a ten-foot Pole.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:59 AM on August 9, 2005

Aussie it's time for me to be Russian down there to Yank what Scot to be the worst punners in history away from their keyboards.
posted by CynicalKnight at 1:28 PM on August 9, 2005

Iran to help, but the Greece on the floor caused me to Spain my ankle.
posted by birdsquared at 1:35 PM on August 9, 2005

For shame. On all of us.
posted by jonson at 2:54 PM on August 9, 2005

That last pun reminded me of this. (Embeded mpeg video).

So back on topic.... The dog condoms are probably a hoax, I'm thinkin. And why don't they give dogs vasectomies?
posted by gauchodaspampas at 4:04 PM on August 9, 2005

Okay, so the gallery was obviously written by someone without perfect English, but this one did make me laugh:

#12. Yana (RAK)
Date of birth: 1977.
Education: high school.
Occupation: peasant.
Doesn't speak English.
Using prosthetics.

posted by Rhomboid at 2:36 AM on August 11, 2005