My Real Baby

November 24, 2000 11:15 AM

My Real Baby Probably the most sophisiticated and artificially intelligent baby doll ever created. Are you going to buy one for your daughter? Better hurry - they are going fast. I cant wait to see how people hack this toy's operating system.
posted by triptych (15 comments total)

Creepy.
posted by amanda at 11:34 AM on November 24, 2000

I can't imagine how a child will react when the batteries run out, and he or she thinks the baby is dead...

Or on the flip side, when a child first experiences death, and wonders why you can't just change the corpse's batteries.

Creepy is right.
posted by delfuego at 11:45 AM on November 24, 2000

The ad copy is careful to differentiate this particular product from other "'high-tech' interactive toys" in offering, well, um, ah, high-tech interactivity.

Keep in mind that when they introduced the doll whose eyes close or open depending on whether it's lying down or sitting up, it too was the most sophisticated and artificially intelligent baby doll ever created.

A good hack is probably to wire the doll's sensors and servoes to an actual Tamagotchi. Guaranteed trauma.
posted by grimmelm at 12:08 PM on November 24, 2000

Have they (toy manufacturers) gotten Furbies networked properly yet? When I first heard about them, the makers had plans to RF signals between multiple furbies, so if one was sad, the others would make cheer-up noises (and signals) etc.

Patching the real doll into this, plus the tamagotchi, plus those self-replicating robots, plus my remote control car will bring forth my Devastating Army of Crying and Singing Baby-Dolls of Destruction. Finally, the dream becomes a reality...
posted by cCranium at 12:17 PM on November 24, 2000

Why is the recommended age 3 and up? Perhaps they're worried about you mistaking it for your own baby...or perhaps they're worried about it being a potential bad influence...
posted by DiplomaticImmunity at 12:19 PM on November 24, 2000

You mean, you haven't done it yet, cC? I could have sworn that was a Devastating Army of Crying and Singing Baby-Dolls of Destruction in that Hardee's on the Ohio Turnpike last night around midnight...
posted by m.polo at 12:19 PM on November 24, 2000

Just noticed this too :

Parental sanity button switch (immediate sleep, will not wake up until pressed again)

I'd pay extra for all toys to come with this important feature...even more for one for the kids...
posted by DiplomaticImmunity at 12:20 PM on November 24, 2000

I've seen a few commercials for this doll. The face does not look like an infant at all. A more fitting name is My Real Grandma.
posted by rcade at 1:27 PM on November 24, 2000

Have you seen the ads for it on WB? can someone say Child's Play? The way the doll smiles is truly creepy. I'd use it for a haunted house!
posted by riffola at 1:59 PM on November 24, 2000

m.polo: Damn those defense contractors! They told me those were Nappies of Invisibility!
posted by cCranium at 2:02 PM on November 24, 2000

i'd prefer a real doll, thank you.
posted by palegirl at 7:19 PM on November 24, 2000

What about the poo and piss? If this baby doesn't soil diapers and projectile vomit then it's not a Real Baby(TM).

Wasn't there a thing last Christmas about a baby doll that could eat and they were recalled when a number of little girls got the babies stuck to their heads when it latched onto their hair?

And I agree with the "Grandma" comment -- their faces are really strange, a little bit old-fashioned somehow. They are plainly the work of the devil.


posted by amanda at 7:44 PM on November 24, 2000

One more and then I'll leave this damn thread alone.

Palegirl, your link is way, way creepier.

Those things start at around 6k! The fact that nail styles and eye shadow colors are options really hits the ick factor right on the head. They are quite disturbing to look at.

Nightmares tonight.
posted by amanda at 8:03 PM on November 24, 2000

"Merging sensors, an artificial brain, emotions and her uniquely expressive face and voice, the MY REAL BABY doll senses and responds to the child in remarkably rich and natural, emotionally-appropriate ways."Who decides what's 'emotionally-appropriate'?
posted by jessie at 12:02 AM on November 25, 2000

Real Dolls are excellent companions for single commuters who wish to use the carpool lane. Given the traffic in many cities, $6K would be cheap.
posted by kindall at 12:58 PM on November 27, 2000