Crazy is Funnier than Fiction

August 23, 2005 5:37 AM

To the Venerable Brethren, the Patriarchs, Primates, Archbishops, Bishops and other Local Ordinaries in Peace and Communion with the Holy See. As much fun as I get from reading the blog of Jesus' General "an 11 on the manly scale of absolute gender" nothing beats the confused raving of Vernoica Lueken and her Virgin Mary's End-Times Prohphecies. Concerned about TERRORISM? Worried about the ominous spread of Red Chinese Tentacles? Heaven's Home Protection Packet is what you need. Caught away from home without your sacramentals? Heaven's Personal Protection Packet will surround you with the "aura of purity" you need in these troubled times. Vernoica's even posted a letter proving she's not nutters.
posted by three blind mice (9 comments total)

P.S. Veronica Lueken went to her eternal reward on August 3, 1995, but she lives on courtesy of the World Wide Web.
posted by three blind mice at 5:39 AM on August 23, 2005

Is this serious or is it a joke? It's so hard to tell when this is claimed to be genuine and unretouched.
posted by clevershark at 6:43 AM on August 23, 2005

Jedi Master she will be, yes.
posted by yhbc at 6:53 AM on August 23, 2005

It looks to me like it’s intended seriously, clevershark. ‘By 1975, violent disputes between [Lueken’s] thousands of followers and local homeowners caused weekly riots and threatened to leave the quiet residential area in anarchy.’ (link).
posted by misteraitch at 7:12 AM on August 23, 2005

I wonder what the followers have to say about the fact that we're still alive in 2005, as my earlier-linked page states:

New clue for the year. On August 5, 1974, Our Lady said: "You do not have thirty years to spread this Message, My child. So work with great haste."

Then again perhaps she meant dog years.
posted by clevershark at 10:12 AM on August 23, 2005

I don't know how you guys can bicker about all of this when Russia has a deadly ray gun!
posted by quantumetric at 10:48 AM on August 23, 2005

"You have been warned in the past by the descendants of Peter to guard My Church from humanism, modernism and satanism. When the world and My Church become as one, know that the end is at hand. Many of the descendants of Peter, men of knowledge and piety, gave you the reasons for shunning modernism and liberal attitudes. Many of those wearing the Red Hats have sold their souls to satan to get to the head." - Jesus, December 31, 1977

He's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!
posted by Citizen Premier at 1:34 PM on August 23, 2005

Many of those wearing the Red Hats have sold their souls to satan to get to the head

Little pricey for a pee, isn't it?

Tentacles, ray guns, and the Fightin' Jesus and His Flying Saucers! I love this stuff.

...on preview, it would seem that I've been wrong all this time and UFO's are tools of the Devil. I feel such a fool right now. :(
posted by Zack_Replica at 3:01 PM on August 23, 2005

From clevershark's link: Can you find any more letters, numbers or dates in word Jacinta?



Picture I. Has the Portuguese word SEXO.
posted by Goblindegook at 6:46 PM on August 23, 2005