The Udder Race

August 29, 2005 12:05 PM

Cow racing is serious business. Think you've got the world's fastest heifer? Can your Bessy beat Taffy's Guiness world record? Ever wonder what a cow race looks like? Sounds like? Do you feel inspired?
posted by analogue (9 comments total)

Yeah, but is Gran'ma ben going to be there?
posted by Sharktattoo at 12:21 PM on August 29, 2005

damnit, shatktattoo beat me to it.
posted by atom128 at 12:24 PM on August 29, 2005

Thank you for this. Redeems my Monday.
posted by zia at 12:31 PM on August 29, 2005

I dunno. I hear Grandma Ben is gettin tired. I'm a thinkin' for to put a coupla eggs on th' mystery cow.
posted by bonehead at 12:36 PM on August 29, 2005

Cows are some of the biggest and dumbest animals on the planet. Encouraging them to move at high speed is a very bad idea. Growing up on a farm, one of the rules of thumb I learned - "A cow moving at any speed faster than a slow walk is cause for serious concern."
posted by y6y6y6 at 3:51 PM on August 29, 2005

The Mt. Compass Cup - my local cow race.
posted by Jimbob at 5:02 PM on August 29, 2005

y6y6y6: "Cows are some of the biggest and dumbest animals on the planet."

You know, there had to be a time when cows were wild and fairly intelligent (or intelligent enough). I can only imagine how brave the first person was who milked one. I'm sure it wasn't the person who decided it was a good idea to milk a cow to begin with.
posted by tommasz at 6:15 PM on August 29, 2005

Only female cows are permitted in the proposed one-mile race.
Damn. My money was on the tranny.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 10:20 PM on August 29, 2005

Mine might not be the fastest but she has the biggest teats.
posted by nofundy at 7:39 AM on August 30, 2005