Start a new life.

September 1, 2005 10:10 AM

Start a new life. Altruistic gentlemen offer temporary housing, transportation, a bite to eat to displaced NOLA hotties in exchange for affection, respect. (No pic, no response.)
posted by postmodernmillie (77 comments total)

disgusting.
posted by gnutron at 10:17 AM on September 1, 2005

what assholes.
posted by jperkins at 10:17 AM on September 1, 2005

That was a thoroughly revolting romp.
posted by saladin at 10:17 AM on September 1, 2005

According to reports, New Orleans is the largest Superfund site in the United Sates, the personals of CL has always been the second.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 10:18 AM on September 1, 2005

That last one is awful.
posted by darkness at 10:19 AM on September 1, 2005

What's gunuine? Is that something the NRA can help me out with?

While I admire their hutzpah (?), these ads feel alot like ghouls capitalizing on tragedy. Sorry your house, life and friends are gone, why don't you come over here and cuddle up with me?

Eww.
posted by fenriq at 10:20 AM on September 1, 2005

No fat chicks.

I hope some of these guys get what's coming to them. And by that of course, I mean a chick that robs him blind.
posted by Pollomacho at 10:24 AM on September 1, 2005

hutzpah (?),

Chutzpa. Say the first syllable like you're clearing phlegm.
posted by jonmc at 10:24 AM on September 1, 2005

"chutzpah"

I'm willing to help displaced NO people, but this is just sick...
posted by SirOmega at 10:25 AM on September 1, 2005

Metafilter: hot and respectful. (sorry, too tempting to resist)
posted by killy willy at 10:26 AM on September 1, 2005

Sorry your house, life and friends are gone, why don't you come over here and cuddle up with me?

Don't condemn them fenriq, it's just a passive-aggressive form of affection.
posted by biffa at 10:27 AM on September 1, 2005

Make that "displaced NOLA hotties with access to a working computer in the middle of a flood zone with no electricity."
posted by googly at 10:29 AM on September 1, 2005

Those folks make me ashamed to be a man.
posted by sciurus at 10:29 AM on September 1, 2005

Um... wow. I just don't know at all what to say.
posted by jonson at 10:30 AM on September 1, 2005

The first time I wish I had stayed in the dark about a post on Metafilter.

It's isn't only men seeking women though. Females from Pleasant Hill, CA and Philadelphia, PA chime in.
posted by ?! at 10:32 AM on September 1, 2005

Ugh.
posted by JanetLand at 10:34 AM on September 1, 2005

Point well taken, ?!.
posted by postmodernmillie at 10:34 AM on September 1, 2005

Those folks make me ashamed to be a man.

Well, hopefully you have more game than they do. I mean, the best they can do is trolling internet sites for refugees?

Also, it'd be great if some hopeless person in New York showed up at one of those guy's places and was like, "Hey! I was totally put out by Katrina and saw your ad on Craigslist! Where's the shitter?"

Also, I think this is just the beginning of a very long 3? 4? 8? months where 400,000 people are going to need to find other places to live. Some are going to be exploited, you can count on that.
posted by billysumday at 10:34 AM on September 1, 2005

biffa, I'm not condemning them, they've condemned themselves.

And thanks for the help on that chutzpah issue.
posted by fenriq at 10:36 AM on September 1, 2005

All you Playa Haters Need Not Respond Baby, I'm a humanitarian with a sweet sweet giving soul and you ain't!
:)

haHA!
posted by adampsyche at 10:37 AM on September 1, 2005

Wow. I'm having trouble believing this level of....I don't even know what to call it. As these are all anonymous, isn't there a chance it's all one person, possibly in satire?
posted by scottreynen at 10:38 AM on September 1, 2005

posted by Count Ziggurat at 10:39 AM on September 1, 2005

this is whhat the flag feature is for (on craigslist this is a great mefi post)
posted by jmgorman at 10:39 AM on September 1, 2005

I really wish I had the time today to email these guys from a fake address. I'd love to get their hopes up, then collapse in a heap with laughter as I watch their ugly hearts break.

Any takers? One of you Mefites has to be up for it.
posted by Item at 10:40 AM on September 1, 2005

This, my friends, is the efficiency of the market place. And if NO Casual Encounters works the same way there it does here (so I'm told), plenty of gentleman offering shelter will be a bit suprised when "perky coed" turns out to be "hot guy".

It is then my sincere hope that "hot guy" kicks the "gentleman" in the nuts and cleans out the fridge....
posted by jalexei at 10:42 AM on September 1, 2005

Item, I'm already there. :-)

scottreynen, this is only a sample... I'm positive these jerks are quite serious.
posted by postmodernmillie at 10:43 AM on September 1, 2005

Of course, how could anyone resist this guy (from the "temporary housing" link)?



Who tries to pull babes with a bass?
posted by jalexei at 10:49 AM on September 1, 2005

Very interesting. Kind of like the opposite of all those "Have you seen my husband/wife/etc." posters that popped up after 9/11.
posted by fungible at 10:49 AM on September 1, 2005

(No pic, no response.)

How about these pics, assholes?
posted by monju_bosatsu at 10:50 AM on September 1, 2005

is it wrong of me that I found it snarky tongue in cheek and voted it best of?
posted by cavalier at 10:50 AM on September 1, 2005

If any of these dudes aren't just trying to get dark shitty best of snark awards (like cavalier says) I do suggest that some illers out there go out and rob them up good, Jim Thompson style.
posted by Divine_Wino at 10:54 AM on September 1, 2005

I really wish I had the time today to email these guys from a fake address. I'd love to get their hopes up, then collapse in a heap with laughter as I watch their ugly hearts break.

I reckon that having to live with themselves is punishment enough, though I suppose if the fact that they posted those ads became general knowledge to their acquaintances, I wouldn't feel sorry for them. Maybe someone can find out who they are and threaten to expose them if they don't make hefty donations to disaster relief.

Am I the only one who was horrified by the first couple of ads and then just found it funny that there are so many of them? I mean, it's not like any of them is going to find what they're looking for by posting such an ad, so maybe pointing and laughing is the best response. You could send them an outraged email, but I bet they've gotten a few of those already.
posted by anapestic at 10:54 AM on September 1, 2005

These folks might get more than they bargain for - they might take in a looter!, America's newest enemy from within. A cautionary tale for the internet age.
posted by holycola at 11:03 AM on September 1, 2005

1. This is fucking Craigslist, people. Why are you so shocked?

2. Someone should ask Ms. Matisse about this.
posted by NationalKato at 11:03 AM on September 1, 2005

Worse than looters.
posted by blendor at 11:04 AM on September 1, 2005

I feel almost guilty posting here with the recent events, but in some way Im hoping that I can help someone that really needs someone there for them as so many have lost and everything and has nothing or noone. Hopefully I can find someone and help them rebuild there life and give them someone to care for them.

I'm a loser with a house and kids, you're a single, attractive woman with no kids and no house... a match made in heaven, if you ask me.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 11:08 AM on September 1, 2005

Amberglow, can we add the people who made these craigslist posts to the list of people that we'll have to pay a visit to after the revolution?
posted by jperkins at 11:28 AM on September 1, 2005

What gets me is the sheer insane ignorance of these ads. Like the guy who offers to shelter someone if she helps around the house AND pays 1/2 of rent and food. And provides her own transportation. Did this guy put ANY thought into this? We're talking about refugees, here. I wouldn't dream of asking someone whose home was recently destroyed by a hurricane to pay rent.

Also, I still don't fathom men who won't even consider dating a woman their own age. Like the 44-year-old who "prefers" women 24-36. Or the 40's guy looking for a woman in her 30's. What are these men thinking???
posted by spacewaitress at 11:35 AM on September 1, 2005

I, for one, am enjoying my new Harem of the Displaced.

Pssst! Though between you and me I suspect a couple of them may be "borrowers" or even "finders." I'll just keep my eye on them.
posted by sourwookie at 11:35 AM on September 1, 2005

I guess If this doesn't work out, the next stop is trawling the bus station,
looking for runaways.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:40 AM on September 1, 2005

All you Playa Haters Need Not Respond Baby, I'm a humanitarian with a sweet sweet giving soul and you ain't!
posted by kirkaracha at 11:43 AM on September 1, 2005

spacewatress: I think you are misunderstanding their goals. I am doubting these guys are looking for a long-term relationship. They are actively advertising for someone to come to them and be totally dependent/subservient for a limited period of time. The lack of conversational material is most likely not even a blip on their priority radar.
posted by aburd at 11:46 AM on September 1, 2005

On the one hand, these guys seem incredibly shallow, selfish, desperate, and socially/emotionally-retarded. The offers are indeed revolting.

On the other hand, I've offered (and plan to offer) precisely zero temporary-housing options to NOLA refugees. How can I cast aspersions? Why should they be reviled while I (and millions like me) am not?
posted by Western Infidels at 11:47 AM on September 1, 2005

<barf>
posted by PurplePorpoise at 11:50 AM on September 1, 2005

The only important question here is what the sudden glut of New Orleans attractive and eligible refugees will have on the worldwide mail order bride market. Marriage brokers from other parts of the world must be worried!
posted by anapestic at 11:53 AM on September 1, 2005

This is worth looking at.

Let me tell you about Scranton. I lived there for four years myself and, having the choice of moving back there, or having to camp out on the roof of my flooded home with a can of tuna fish and a flash light, I would take my chances on the roof any day. At least some of these other idiots who are posting the "stay and lay" bullshit live in decent places. They're still assholes, mind you, but their locales are at least somewhere a person might consider visiting. But you're going to try and woo someone who lived in a fun city like New Orleans and bring them to SCRANTON???
posted by bumpkin at 11:54 AM on September 1, 2005

hutzpah (?),

No that's just crap. Chutzpah would be starting a huge housing co-op where you can take in like 300 refugees and oops some woman decides after all of that you are worth her time.
posted by nervousfritz at 11:54 AM on September 1, 2005

Western Infidels -- I don't think the only choices to help out are "take refugees into your home regardless of your own circumstances" or "take refugees into your home as sex slaves." There are other options in the middle there.
posted by JanetLand at 11:57 AM on September 1, 2005

Not to be outdone...
posted by postmodernmillie at 12:07 PM on September 1, 2005

Janet: Yeah, but those are the BEST options...
(How long 'til a hotwetkatrinavictims.xxx?)
posted by klangklangston at 12:09 PM on September 1, 2005

monju_bosatsu, you have it right, with subtlety. You can bet that these same pricks would be the loudest whiners if the shoe were on the other foot. It's looting, only of an emotional kind.
posted by eclectist at 12:15 PM on September 1, 2005

OK, postmodernmillie, I've got ask. What were you looking for on craigslist that you found the ads originally posted?
posted by JParker at 12:31 PM on September 1, 2005

What Googly said. There is NO POWER in NO, and I'm quite sure that no computers survived.

And this: "Are you a professional, decent, have morals and values? Do you need a place to make a fresh start, safe, centrally located in the San Francisco Bay Area. I am willing to open my apartment where I live with my two cats. E-mail me! And let's work something out."

I don't know about where she lives, but as a single woman I wouldn't take in a strange man from anywhere, no matter what the circumstances are. Donate $$ to the Red Cross, that's what I did. How desperate can you be? Yuck.

On the other side of the coin, imagine that your home is suddenly a pile of rubble. You've had no warning, you have nothing left. Here's a solution - it probably looks pretty good, right? Better than living in the Astrodome or in a tent city, with no job, no prospects. I feel so sorry for those people, but it's probably a good thing they can't get access to craigslist.
posted by WaterSprite at 12:33 PM on September 1, 2005

JParker: Confirmation of a suspicion. ;-)
posted by postmodernmillie at 12:35 PM on September 1, 2005

The phrase that keeps coming to mind when I look at these losers is "giggitygiggity".
posted by JParker at 1:19 PM on September 1, 2005

"No house?? Well, it might be an interesting pick up??"

Worst pickup line ever.
posted by grouse at 1:35 PM on September 1, 2005

"What were you looking for on craigslist that you found the ads originally posted?"

She may have independently found these, but I saw a link to one of these on a major site this morning. I was sure it was Wonkette, but I can't find it there. Seems like this guy was in NY or the NE somwhere, he required photos. Can't remember anything else.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 2:07 PM on September 1, 2005

"worse than the looters"

Hey, now - I bet some of them are only trying to _find_ love.
posted by jmgorman at 2:10 PM on September 1, 2005

EB, I did find the m4w section myself early this morning and emailed the link to gawker. Where it went from there, who knows?
posted by postmodernmillie at 2:14 PM on September 1, 2005

Hmm. Well, I remembered where I saw it:

The New York Times this morning, at about 5:20 this morning at the end of this article, from which I excerpt the relevant part:

At Craigslist, some links normally devoted to romantic, personals-ad-style connections, like men and women looking for someone they met in a bar or locked eyes with on a subway, also carried notices for the missing. Other links, like the more-risqué "casual encounters," included two postings yesterday from men apparently looking to turn the hurricane into an opportunity for a date.

"I will give you free shelter in New York and pay for you to get here," said a man identifying himself only as a 25-year-old on Long Island. "I will help you get back on your feet. You can come stay with me if you are a young attractive female that has just lost everything in the hurricane. I live on Long Island and I am willing to open my home to you."

Perhaps less than altruistically, he added, "Please send pic."

Weird, huh?
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 2:21 PM on September 1, 2005

Not that weird, considering that if one had a hunch (as I did) that certain people would be taking advantage of this situation for sexual gain, craigslist would naturally be the place to go. You're not accusing me of posting without crediting the NYT, are you? Because if you are, I will have to reiterate my request from October last year, was it? to refrain from contacting me in any way.
posted by postmodernmillie at 2:29 PM on September 1, 2005

Glad to see that most of the ads are being flagged off the board.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 2:33 PM on September 1, 2005 [1 favorite]

Oh, I'll have to repeat my: *rolls eyes*, then. But, anyway, I'll take your word for it. I can certainly believe you'd think to look.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 2:42 PM on September 1, 2005

Fuck off, EB.
posted by postmodernmillie at 2:44 PM on September 1, 2005

I was there first. Asshole.
posted by postmodernmillie at 2:52 PM on September 1, 2005

I didn't say you weren't. I believe I said that I believed you. I didn't at first. After all, I read what seemed the exact same thing in the NYT, of all sources. When I saw it was posted to MeFi, I thought to myself "good catch, 'cause this makes a great mefi link" and assumed the poster got it from wherever I saw it. Yeah, you're supposed to credit. But it didn't matter much to me until you said that you did see it first. Then I wondered to myself, hey wait, where did I see that at?
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 2:55 PM on September 1, 2005

Now that we've established the we're both aware the other is here, let's continue to ignore each other, shall we?
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 2:57 PM on September 1, 2005

Of course you've been aware for ages that I'm here. postmodernmillie: 1 MetaFilter user(s) link to this user. Ethereal Bligh. Now, go away. Again.
posted by postmodernmillie at 3:02 PM on September 1, 2005

Others have probably pointed this out already, but how are people without power, cable or phone lines supposed to get onto the craigslist site in order to see all those exciting offers?
posted by clevershark at 3:04 PM on September 1, 2005

EB, postmodernmillie: either explain what the fuck's going on or take it elsewhere.

Actually, you should probably just take it elsewhere, but I'm a nosy bastard.
posted by Item at 3:07 PM on September 1, 2005

Well, I don't have time to MetaTalk this to death like some people, so I'll fold.
posted by postmodernmillie at 3:11 PM on September 1, 2005

Don't these guys understand that the vast majority of the penniless homeless refugees are unemployed poor people from the bad parts of town? Almost anybody with a car got out when the evacuation was ordered, or when the flooding started. These are the people smoking crack in the Superdome and stealing armloads of DVD's when they have no power and no television. oh, I think I want one in my house too!!!
posted by Megafly at 3:12 PM on September 1, 2005

"Well after Katrina destroyed my neighborhood and all I ever had I was in need of assistance. Luckily Steve here needed a good looking woman to sleep with and next thing I know we're married!"
posted by geoff. at 3:40 PM on September 1, 2005

Welcome to the third world. These are the same losers who have been trolling poverty stricken women all over the world, Southeast Asia and the former USSR especially. What a coup for them. Suddenly a whole lot of new victims to prey upon. And EVEN BETTER no green card hassles, no need to spend money going overseas. Just have them hitchhike to your city, give you a call, and you can pick them up with no more trouble than a 20-minute car ride. Easy as pie. ASSHOLES !!
posted by marsha56 at 6:06 PM on September 1, 2005

Creates another subcategory of desperate in my mind.
posted by sillygit at 6:50 PM on September 1, 2005

Intresting reply

The men on here, some of whom are silly enough to post with photos showing their dumb-ass faces, should be eaten by swamp alligators, or covered with I-Pods and chained to a lamp post on Canal Street.
posted by delmoi at 7:44 PM on September 1, 2005

Enterprising respondents don't even need to be from NO. Just show up string them along, give them nothing and then clean the house out as soon as they go to work. (Don't forget the bass guitar)

/me hoping they'll get the response they deserve. ;-)
posted by login at 4:53 PM on September 6, 2005