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All my life / I've prayed for someone like you
September 16, 2005 9:59 AM   Subscribe

Troy's Mixtape of Love. "This is the original tape Troy made to his girlfriend Melissa on their 6 month anniversary. She left him 3 days after." Includes an a capella rendition of "All My Life" by K-Ci and Jojo at 6:20. Scary remix. More remixes. (Via confabulators)
posted by ludwig_van (53 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
Ack. Corrected remix links.
posted by ludwig_van at 10:02 AM on September 16, 2005


Words fail Troy. Over and over, they fail him.

[This is painful]
posted by crumbly at 10:19 AM on September 16, 2005


Troy who?
posted by odinsdream at 10:19 AM on September 16, 2005


I could bear exactly 34 seconds of that. Wow. Good find.

Star Wars Kid 2.0
posted by docgonzo at 10:19 AM on September 16, 2005


I couldn't get more than thirty seconds into it before I had to close it in embarrassment for the speaker.

Thank you, Internet, for immortalizing the stupidity of love struck youth.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 10:21 AM on September 16, 2005


What kind of fool let this get online, that's my question.

It'd be one thing for the girl to dump the guy for giving her this. If she uploaded it, well, that'd make her culpable in case of suicide, no?
posted by Busithoth at 10:24 AM on September 16, 2005


I saw it posted to the Something Awful forums first. (I didn't even dare to listen to it then because I knew it would be pain) A little background if I remember the details correctly. The guy who got ahold of this cd and posted it online was interested in the girl "Troy" was dating. Got access to her car (I was under the impression it was with her permission, but my memory is a bit fuzzy), where he noticed this cd, labeled something incriminating. He stole the CD, and, well, the rest is history.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 10:28 AM on September 16, 2005


Lesson learned: Don't give girlfriend of six months an incredibly long, psycho-frightening monologue she can later share with the entire world.

Troy is well on his way to becoming a playa'
posted by IndpMed at 10:29 AM on September 16, 2005


I always start my messages of love with a complaint about technology screwing up the first effort, I find that sets the mood for love.

Busithoth, I doubt she uploaded it, probably one of Troy's "friends" did it.
posted by fenriq at 10:30 AM on September 16, 2005


[insert clever name here] has the story right, it was uploaded by a guy who Troy's former girlfriend. The tale is recounted in the something awful link along with links to the other remixes.
posted by ludwig_van at 10:36 AM on September 16, 2005


who knew Troy's former girlfriend.

(shakes fist at server)
posted by ludwig_van at 10:37 AM on September 16, 2005


fenriq, I've done the same thing (early email disasters) as far as starting off "I wrote you a long, sweet thing, but it got eaten by the Internet, so here's a second try..."

That is brutal, though. I saw this elsewhere, and couldn't listen to it past a minute (I think the umpteenth "I just love you so so much" did it for me.)

Somehow, it's candidness makes me wonder if there's a reality show in this kind of phenomena.
posted by Busithoth at 10:39 AM on September 16, 2005


You're missing out if you bail after the first minute. You should hear the singing part.
posted by ludwig_van at 10:43 AM on September 16, 2005


Friends don't let friends record themselves on ecstasy.
posted by Justinian at 10:44 AM on September 16, 2005


The internet was made for exactly this sort of thing.
posted by drezdn at 10:45 AM on September 16, 2005


Reminds me of my youth to an extent... Thank god we can always look back and laugh and learn... Otherwise I probably would have ended it long ago.

Tough break for the dude's stuff getting posted though...
posted by DuffStone at 10:49 AM on September 16, 2005


hearing troy tell me that i'm the best over and over again has gotten me through friday. thanks for the motivation, buddy.
posted by dickumbrage at 10:51 AM on September 16, 2005


the first remix link is great -- his voice is made "scary" and overdubbed with sounds of a woman screaming, heavy footsteps, etc.
posted by ism at 10:53 AM on September 16, 2005


"I was writing a paper on the PC, and it was, like, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep,"
posted by Armitage Shanks at 10:54 AM on September 16, 2005


Never ever. EVER.

Why is it only 14 minutes? I smell hoax.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:05 AM on September 16, 2005


Poor, poor Troy.
When will people learn that inarticulate lovesick ramblings are insufferably pathetic, even to those toward whom the affection is directed?
posted by klangklangston at 11:10 AM on September 16, 2005


OK, the "watermelonhead" clinched it for me. I'll buy it now. I just can't believe how much he rambles.

The singing is excellent.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:12 AM on September 16, 2005


Heh. There's a musician around Detroit whose name is Troy Gregory. He's pretty good too, in the power-pop vein. I wonder how he feels about this...
posted by klangklangston at 11:16 AM on September 16, 2005


Holy @#%$@. I love this song. Honestly, I love love love LOVE it. It is the best thing that has ever EVER happened to be. For sure, the best ever song ever. I love it. I honestly do. I'm the luckiest man to have heard that. Seriously.
posted by cleverusername at 11:18 AM on September 16, 2005


This is excellent. It sounds like the deadpan rambling of the Home Movie characters...I feel dirty.
posted by tpl1212 at 11:18 AM on September 16, 2005


The scary remix is great.
posted by fire&wings at 11:34 AM on September 16, 2005


Main site seems to be down... Any mirrors?
posted by SweetJesus at 11:45 AM on September 16, 2005


Genius.
posted by fungible at 11:45 AM on September 16, 2005


He would have been much, much better served by putting some songs that he liked that he thought she might like sung by the actual musicians.
posted by fenriq at 11:54 AM on September 16, 2005


Awww, Troy's just learning the one big lesson we all learn growing up:

Never show your feelings about anything, ever.

In fact, never NEVER FEEL...ANYTHING...EVER.

It's all part of that sweet thrill of young love that sweeps us through courting and sparking, to marriage and raising young ones of our own.

BUT DON'T TELL ANYONE I SAID THAT. I'LL KILL YOU IF YOU TELL ANYONE I TOLD YOU THAT!
posted by PlusDistance at 12:40 PM on September 16, 2005


The real lesson is: Trusting someone today doesn't mean you can and will trust them tomorrow, so never trust anyone.
posted by smackfu at 12:54 PM on September 16, 2005


I wasted my time skimming the first several minutes of the audio. So he professes his love to this girl over and over for the first 5 minutes, non-stop, to the point where you have to wonder if Troy is now attending a gun show or scoping clock towers... Finally at minute 6 he breaks into song... wow. Wow. Oh boy. Where's that stop button. Better just close the browser and forget what I just heard.

PlusDistance is right: Guys, never under and circumstances do this unless you want to end the relationship. It is OK to show some feeling but 5 minutes of relentess gushing followed by singing is just all wrong.
posted by StarForce5 at 1:15 PM on September 16, 2005


How can we confirm that she truly broke up with him after hearing this?
posted by Specklet at 3:17 PM on September 16, 2005


He even makes little kissing sounds. Beautiful. And at 8:45 he just about starts crying. Yikes.

I think everyone should have the chance to fall that brain-meltingly 'in love' with someone. And then to have their heart broken. And then to get over it and eventually gain the perspective to be able to look back and laugh at their foolishness.
posted by raedyn at 3:46 PM on September 16, 2005


Both remixes don't work anymore. And I want to hear them!
posted by interrobang at 4:09 PM on September 16, 2005


God, it just goes on and on!
posted by interrobang at 4:19 PM on September 16, 2005


so why is this exactly funny at all ?
posted by Substrata at 4:21 PM on September 16, 2005


It isn't, really. I laughed during the "pumpkinhead" part, but other than that, it was wince-inducing.
posted by interrobang at 4:23 PM on September 16, 2005


Oh. "Scary Mix" here.

Pumpkinhead here.

They're both hilarious.
posted by interrobang at 4:37 PM on September 16, 2005


Oops, I meant "Watermelon". It was probably runoff from the Scary Mix.
posted by interrobang at 4:39 PM on September 16, 2005


I think everyone should have the chance to fall that brain-meltingly 'in love' with someone. And then to have their heart broken. And then to get over it and eventually gain the perspective to be able to look back and laugh at their foolishness.

I'm fairly certain everyone does get that chance, whether the person they're in love with knows it or not. Heh.

Somewhere, out there, on a cassette tape that has probably long since ceased being playable, is a recording of a girlfriend and I in our mid-teens singing "somewhere out there" and "you can't hurry love" -- except we were singing to a karaoke tape, and she was on the phone. I'm so glad the internet wasn't in public hands yet. I'm also glad that analog tapes degrade over time.

I'm glad this got posted, though, because it will serve as a great lesson to my son and daughter when they're older.
posted by davejay at 5:38 PM on September 16, 2005


he just keeps going! DEAR LORD STOP HIM PLEASE!
posted by mr.marx at 6:05 AM on September 17, 2005


I'm guessing the monologue provided Melissa with the perfect reflection point to look back on her 6 months with Troy and adjudicate him a tremendous wet blanket.

(1 dorky poem) >= (14 minutes of repetitious, inchoerent, sometimes frightening exultations).

It would kill anyone's boner.
posted by bafflegab at 7:29 AM on September 17, 2005


OK, I've listened to it three times now. And the remixes. I love it. It's stuff like this that needs to be engraved in platinum and sent into space. (Deep into space.) I usually laugh at how bad pop lyrics are, but listening to this reminds me that the lyrics are perfect for the audience.

When he says "my babe" (not just "babe"), is it their private term of endearment or a movie quote or just a common construction now? Also, does he sound like a particularly religious boy to you, or are Troy's "blessed" and "thank the lord" and "pay for someone like you" lines and the prayers mentioned in both songs he sings normal (perhaps secularized, like blessed = lucky, prayed for = hoped for?) terms of teenage America's romantic discourse?

I need biographies of Troy Gregory and Melissa Kaiser.
posted by pracowity at 9:07 AM on September 17, 2005


["pay for someone like you" > "pray for someone like you"]
posted by pracowity at 9:24 AM on September 17, 2005


He sounds to me like like a tremendous poser trying out all the loving statements and sounds and lines he knows.

Consider how his "oh I am so in love" sigh comes out exactly the same all the many times he deploys it, like a perfect plastic smile practiced by a 16 year old girl in her mirror for hours, week after week.

The religious-seeming things have the same feel. It sounds just as rote and manufactured as such things sounded coming out of people I knew in high school. You've got the believers, sure, but then you've got the indoctrinated. Adopting the ornaments of local fashion, sometimes poorly.

This boy may have had some serious emotional connection to the Melissa situation, but this is not what love sounds like. This is just Emotional Dress-Up play. Which is fine -- everybody has to feel out the territory. Shame he recorded it, though.
posted by cortex at 9:38 AM on September 17, 2005


cortex writes "He sounds to me like like a tremendous poser trying out all the loving statements and sounds and lines he knows. "

I think Justinian's got it: he's just a guy who really, really, really can't handle his ecstasy.
posted by Bugbread at 10:29 AM on September 17, 2005


I agree with pracowity and cortex. It brings up an interesting question regarding the pop song lyrics angle; does he feel a connection to those songs because they describe love in the same terms as he does, or does he describe love in those terms because of the songs/movies/media he consumes?
posted by ludwig_van at 2:20 PM on September 17, 2005


No, no, Justinian and bugbread are spot on. Although, the only way to prove that would be to observe or experiment first hand. And it would be wrong to suggest that in any way. But not as wrong as doing it for the first time with recording equipment present.
posted by cytherea at 2:30 PM on September 17, 2005


He's too cogent to be on ecstasy, in my opinion. I think he was just genuinely "into" it. Way, way, way too into it.

Besides, you take ecstasy with your girlfriend, not alone with a tape recorder.
posted by SweetJesus at 2:39 PM on September 17, 2005


For those of you who like stories with happy endings. From an episode This American Life, an absolutely fantastic show on NPR. Gushy, but classy. And love wins. Oh, and the end of the show features the best voicemail message, ever.
posted by Deathalicious at 6:54 AM on September 18, 2005


Um, not to pick nits, but This American Life is specifically NOT on NPR, but on the other radio syndicate PRI.
posted by Down10 at 1:49 AM on September 19, 2005


As for this guy... whew! At least I've never sounded like that over a girl.
posted by Down10 at 1:50 AM on September 19, 2005


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