Englands knife ban

September 16, 2005 2:29 PM

Englands proposed kitchen knife ban. Since May, "A&E doctors [have been] calling for a ban on long pointed kitchen knives to reduce deaths from stabbing." That's right, kitchen knives. Apparently, a full 1/3 of all deaths in the UK are knife-related. "The doctors, as part of their research into ways to reduce violence, say they consulted with leading chefs who said long knives were not needed for cooking." But not everyone agrees: Peter Hamm, a spokesman for the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, which supports gun control, joked, "Can sharp stick control be far behind?"
posted by j.p. Hung (96 comments total)

I checked to see if this had been posted before and didn't see it anywhere on Mefi so forgive me if I missed it somewhere
posted by j.p. Hung at 2:30 PM on September 16, 2005

1/3 of all murders surely, not 1/3 of all deaths.
posted by Western Infidels at 2:32 PM on September 16, 2005

They can have my Wusthof 7" Santoku knife when they pry it from my cold dead hands.
posted by Gamblor at 2:33 PM on September 16, 2005

Oh, oh, oh. We want to learn how to defend ourselves against pointed sticks, do we? Getting all high and mighty, eh? Fresh fruit not good enough for you eh?
posted by godawful at 2:34 PM on September 16, 2005

oops...yes, Western, murders. Thanks
posted by j.p. Hung at 2:35 PM on September 16, 2005

Someone should inform the Britons that knifing granny isn't polite.
posted by Rothko at 2:39 PM on September 16, 2005

If they take away the long sharp knives then there will be a subsequent rise in strangulations, slashings and other means of dispatching people.

Or are they trying to say that taking away big knives will stop people from killing each other?

Next they'll outlaw hands because hands can hold knives or can be used as weapons by themselves. And then we can call Englishmen, "Stumpies".
posted by fenriq at 2:39 PM on September 16, 2005

The crazed War On Some Drugs has turned U.K. youth into drooling boozers who have liver failure at 20.

I imagine if stabbin' knives are banned in Britain, people will manage to kill each other with something else ... cans of baked beans, maybe? Arsenic ... and "old lace," for some reason?

Take away the drugs, and the kids go for the booze. Make the booze out of reach, as it was for many in the old USSR or during U.S. prohibition, and people will die drinking poison moonshine. Take away the guns & the knives, and I guess the British are going to have to get a little more creative with the murdering.
posted by kenlayne at 2:41 PM on September 16, 2005

If the Brits would just allow people to own guns like other civilized countries, they wouldn't have this problem.
posted by deborah at 2:43 PM on September 16, 2005

You know, life leads to death, so I move we take away people's lives also.
posted by keswick at 2:43 PM on September 16, 2005

After a thorough study, the UK finds that human hands have been used in 99% of all violent crimes. They conclude that by eliminating them, violent will be significantly reduced.

Please see you Police department to schedule a hand removal session.
posted by 517 at 2:53 PM on September 16, 2005

Apparently most injuries on stairways occur on the top and bottom steps,
perhaps they should get rid of those too. (I think that's from vonnegut, right?)
posted by milovoo at 3:01 PM on September 16, 2005

In contrast, a pointed long blade pierces the body like "cutting into a ripe melon".

Mmmm....melon.
posted by mr_roboto at 3:02 PM on September 16, 2005

How much English murder 'n' mayhem could we prevent by eliminating England?
posted by jfuller at 3:03 PM on September 16, 2005

Great Britain suffers from a massive increase in murders commited with cheese spreaders. Film at 11.
posted by shmegegge at 3:05 PM on September 16, 2005

I'd rather take death by knife then by spoon.
posted by iamck at 3:05 PM on September 16, 2005

Wussies
posted by caddis at 3:06 PM on September 16, 2005

I hear most criminals take a break at 4 (sorry, 16:00) for tea and biscuits. I say we extend the tea hour to an entire day, while we're thinking out loud here.
posted by Rothko at 3:07 PM on September 16, 2005

consulted with leading chefs who said long knives were not needed for cooking.

They have chefs in England? This is a country of people who think beans spread on toast is good.

And on second thought, maybe we can do away with the whole cutting-our-meat-into-pieces thing. We'll just grill the whole cow all at once.
posted by elwoodwiles at 3:10 PM on September 16, 2005

I'm guessing there's going to be a hilarious comment about bad teeth soon.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 3:14 PM on September 16, 2005

nope, just your's so far....
posted by imaswinger at 3:17 PM on September 16, 2005

The French style


sorry, banned.
posted by caddis at 3:20 PM on September 16, 2005

Cane poking with Ricin tablets will be all the rage when knives get banned.
posted by loquax at 3:20 PM on September 16, 2005

Talk about treating the symtom... this will never happen, trust me.

In the meantime, you 'Mericans can make fun of merry old England and justify that gun of yours.
posted by Acey at 3:21 PM on September 16, 2005

When I lived in London I was astounded and bewildered by the number of murders by stabbing that were on the news every night. Also a lot of shotgun deaths, IIRC. (though, I hear they're getting a lot more guns in the country these days...)

Having grown up near the murder capital of the world where it isn't uncommon for kids to take guns to school, it seemed odd (and yet vaguely Olde World and bizarrely quaint) that stabbing (and in particular, death by stabbing) was such a regular occurence.
posted by shoepal at 3:25 PM on September 16, 2005

The crazed War On Some Drugs has turned U.K. youth into drooling boozers who have liver failure at 20.

The crazed war on drugs has really contributed nothing. People in the UK have turned to drink because drugs are illegal? Wtf? The crazed plan to allow 24hr drinking in pubs, soon to be implemented by a crazed government to recoup money they can't tax from one of Britains most popular and lucrative leisure pursuits, is going to do more harm than any kitchen knife. And it's going to increase violent knife crime, drug dealing...there are no positives.

FWIW knife crime is far worse in Scotland than it is in England.
posted by fire&wings at 3:26 PM on September 16, 2005

In contrast, a pointed long blade pierces the body like "cutting into a ripe melon".

What about a long blade with a rounded tip?
posted by MikeKD at 3:27 PM on September 16, 2005

Fuck kitchen knives, half the thugs out there have got fucking gravity knives and switch blades anyway. Let us have guns so we can shoot the fuckers in the balls.
posted by snoktruix at 3:28 PM on September 16, 2005

In the meantime, you 'Mericans can make fun of merry old England and justify that gun of yours.

I have the gun in case any "politician" tries to take away my knife.
posted by mmcg at 3:29 PM on September 16, 2005

If they outlaw all chefs knives, will all the outlaws become chefs?

It's important to remember that this wasn't proposed by legislators, politicians or policemen (indeed, this is a quote from someone in law enforcement: A spokesperson for the Association of Chief Police Officers said: "ACPO supports any move to reduce the number of knife related incidents, however, it is important to consider the practicalities of enforcing such changes."). It is a call from the doctors who treat knife wounds.

Now, I laud their intentions, but common sense says this won't reach the local parish council, let alone Parliament.

Still, it does make for an opprtunity to make some lame jokes about UK cuisine. So it's all good, what?
posted by dash_slot- at 3:30 PM on September 16, 2005

Knitting needles are already banned from sale in the UK's charity shops...
posted by ceri richard at 3:31 PM on September 16, 2005

I assume that this will lead to most meals served pre-chewed.

And what mmcg said.
posted by Balisong at 3:43 PM on September 16, 2005

So....I can kill with my hands. Am I banned from England?

I'm curious if any fighting arts are taught there. I understand the bobbies were taught Shotokan *snicker*.

No, actually, it's decent art for tradition, but in the street it's about as useful as Tae Kwan Do. Unless you're very very good or fighting someone untrained, you will get your head handed to you by an experianced streetfighter/thug/XX chromosome criminal etc.
(I'm generalizing, there are obviously exceptions)

I'm thinking England will eventually become the new Okinawa if things stay the same.
...of course, that doesn't help grandmaw right now when punks rough her up.
posted by Smedleyman at 3:45 PM on September 16, 2005

Turns out you can't get acid in Manchester. Who knew?
posted by hototogisu at 3:51 PM on September 16, 2005

MUAD'IB! MUAD'IB!
posted by loquacious at 3:51 PM on September 16, 2005

godawful beat me to it, but...

posted by mowglisambo at 3:52 PM on September 16, 2005

If they take away the long sharp knives then there will be a subsequent rise in strangulations, slashings and other means of dispatching people.

I think you're being intentionally obtuse and ignoring the point raised. Someone planning to kill someone will likely find an alternative method to do it. But the argument is that drug-, alchohol-, or rage-fueled murders are in-the-heat-of-the-moment decisions — you might get mad enough to stab someone if there is a knife on the counter, but would you be just as likely to go find the extension cord and strangle them with it?

There is a point where you can start worrying about the slippery slope, where the thing they are banning is ridiculous (nail clippers on airplane flights?) — but with 1/3 murders being committed with needlessly long kitchen knives, this is not that point.
posted by rafter at 3:56 PM on September 16, 2005

(Oh, and I'm not saying it's practical or easily enforcable — but as a general rule, why not just make shorter knives?)
posted by rafter at 3:59 PM on September 16, 2005

BTW, I tried to find stats on knife crime, but the Home Office doesn't seem to make that readily available. However, they do publish violent crime stats as a whole, and homicides also.

Provisional statistics are available for recorded crimes in the years ending 2003 and 2004 involving firearms other than air weapons. Firearms are taken to be
involved in an offence if they are fired, used as a blunt instrument against a person, or used in a threat.
Fatal injuries 77 70, a decrease of 9% on the previous year.

How many homicides in your average US city (the above is for the UK as a whole)?
posted by dash_slot- at 4:00 PM on September 16, 2005

Knitting needles are already banned from sale in the UK's charity shops...
posted by ceri richard at 11:31 PM GMT on September 16 [!] Did you listen to the link, ceri?

The mysterious list of banned goods from the Red Cross charity shops - for ethical & safety reasons - includes gas appliances, glasses, safety helmets and flammable nightwear. It was a local shop that made the decision to put knitting needles in the stockroom, rather than on sale on the shelves. They apparently are not banned in all shops, or all charity shops, or indeed in all shops in the Red Cross chain.

Just so as you know.
posted by dash_slot- at 4:08 PM on September 16, 2005

Has anyone seen Gangs of New York (yeah, I know it had Pretty Boy Leo in it)? This article reminds me of what it was like when people couldn't just shoot their enemies, they had to knifefight them to death.

rafter, no, I wasn't being intentionally obtuse. What I was saying is that if you take away people's guns, they'll stab each other to death. If you take away their knives, they'll bludgeon each other to death or strangle each other. If you take away everything that can be used to kill someone, people will still find a way to kill other people.

As was commented above, this is treating the symptom and not the cause.

Banning never solves anything but it does get people to figure out new methods of offing other people.
posted by fenriq at 4:09 PM on September 16, 2005

I heard a while ago that the UK has higher proportional crime rates than the US in every category except murder, rape and gun crime. I don't know if this is still (or ever was) the case, but it's fuel for the fire.
posted by Acey at 4:09 PM on September 16, 2005

This was pretty much the story.
posted by Acey at 4:12 PM on September 16, 2005

Someday we'll make a board so big, with a nail so rusty, that it will destroy all of mankind! Mouhahahaha!
posted by furtive at 4:25 PM on September 16, 2005

but as a general rule, why not just make shorter knives?

Because long, sharp, pointy knives with a curve to them are excellent for chopping, and chopping is a very common kitchen task.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 4:26 PM on September 16, 2005

If long knives are banned, the chefs who are frustrated by using little dinky knives that don't have any weight or balance to them will go mad and fill everyone with tiny little stab wounds.
posted by Nothing at 4:27 PM on September 16, 2005

Banning never solves anything but it does get people to figure out new methods of offing other people.

I disagree. Gun deaths often involve 3rd parties. Knives, other than shurikens I guess, generally do not.

Now, we can talk about diminishing returns for this banning, but to assert that banning does not make a difference is counterfactual IMV.
posted by Heywood Mogroot at 4:35 PM on September 16, 2005

All I need is my mate stanley.
posted by snoktruix at 4:36 PM on September 16, 2005

pointy knives with a curve to them are excellent for chopping

I think the doctors are arguing knives should be designed for slicing not stabbing since slicing is a culinary function but stabbing isn't (so much).

A slice wound is a lot different than a stab wound; just ask a Roman legionary.
posted by Heywood Mogroot at 4:38 PM on September 16, 2005

Good point, Heywood Mogroot. I should have gone with the diminishing returns argument.

Though I would argue that banning guns is a different degree of banning than banning knives. Guns are only useful for shooting things with. Knives are useful for a whole variety of tasks that just happen to include stabbing people.
posted by fenriq at 4:38 PM on September 16, 2005

I don't get mad, I get stabby...
posted by blue_beetle at 4:50 PM on September 16, 2005

Guns are only useful for shooting things with. Knives are useful for a whole variety of tasks that just happen to include stabbing people

Oh come on, now. Guns are for shooting. Knives are for cutting. Guns are used for killing more than knives, but both have other purposes. "Damn. I got my frisbee stuck in the gutter. Go grab the handgun."

The kneejerk libertarian response is predictable, but misguided, IMO. The doctors seem to have a very good point.

If you agree with banning certain types of guns, there's no reason not to support a similar ban on pointy kitchen knives. The points have no purpose that I can think of (aside from killing someone or something). For accidents alone, it seems like a good proposal.
posted by mrgrimm at 4:54 PM on September 16, 2005

As a quasi-libertarian I am generally against "nerfing" society.

"Demolition Man" captured that dystopia quite well.

But I contrast the world of 50 years ago (which I dimly remember seeing echoes of in the early 1970s) and see progress in how we have mandated general public safety, too.

No doubt in 50 years we'll all have safety knives that slice but not stab...
posted by Heywood Mogroot at 4:56 PM on September 16, 2005

Nice Dune reference there, loquacious (but it's Muad' dib).
posted by snoktruix at 5:32 PM on September 16, 2005

My girlfriend's mother won't allow sharp knives of any kind in the house. The reason: because that's how people get killed... Forget that someone in the house would have to do the killing and isn't worry about that just a little more disconcerting?!

Guns are for shooting. Knives are for cutting.

Under Canadian law, anything is a weapon as soon as it is used as such -- a pencil, key fob, or kitchen knife. Only a gun is a "weapon" at all times. The degree of detachment required to actually stab someone to death as opposed to pull a trigger from a distance... c'mon, that isn't even an argument.
posted by dreamsign at 5:32 PM on September 16, 2005

I think the doctors are arguing knives should be designed for slicing not stabbing since slicing is a culinary function but stabbing isn't (so much)

But a chef's knife is designed for slicing-not-stabbing. You want less weight far away from your grip to make the knife better-balanced, so that it's safer to use. That means a pointy end.

We have knives designed for stabbing. They're called "forks" or "skewers." You'll note they look very unlike a chef's knife.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:21 PM on September 16, 2005

When knives are outlawed, only outlaws will make a mirepoix.
posted by Keith Talent at 8:25 PM on September 16, 2005

Really, knives seperate things, and guns poke holes through things. They are both just tools.
posted by Balisong at 8:26 PM on September 16, 2005

needlessly long kitchen knives

Someone doesn't cook much.
posted by caddis at 8:38 PM on September 16, 2005

i don't understand smoking bans in bars. i don't understand skateboarding is illegal in norway. and i surely don't understand banning sharp, pointy knives in the uk.
posted by brandz at 9:07 PM on September 16, 2005

If you agree with banning certain types of guns, there's no reason not to support a similar ban on pointy kitchen knives. The points have no purpose that I can think of (aside from killing someone or something).

Last I recall England's banning guns from civilian ownership has done nothing to reduce the overall crime rate there. According to this report,
England has the "worst crime rate in world".

I just can't wait to have some government beaureaucrat tell me how long is long enough as far as my knives are concerned.

Remember, knives don't kill people, people kill people.
posted by Polarisman at 9:10 PM on September 16, 2005

1) Invent knife that can slice but not stab
2) ...
3) Profit

/dreams on
posted by kika at 9:11 PM on September 16, 2005

1) Invent knife that can slice but not stab
2) Call it a "hacksaw."
3) Note that it's not very good for kitchen use.
4) But it will cut through high-tensile steel in fifteen minutes.
5) You could cut through your ankle in five minutes.
6) NIGHT RIDER!
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:28 PM on September 16, 2005

I call bullshit.

Automobiles kill far more people than knives, and also pollute the environment. Where's the call to ban them? Get rid of private cars and invest in public transit.

IMO, such a change would have far reaching positive consequences on society and health. It would limit sub/urban sprawl and foster a greater sense of community. People would walk more, and end road rage.
posted by Goofyy at 9:35 PM on September 16, 2005

First evidence of human-style thought: stockpiling throwing-stones. Stones of a certain size for one's hand. To dispel predators.
posted by longsleeves at 9:41 PM on September 16, 2005

rocks ... people can be killed with rocks ... we need to sweep this country clean of each and every rock until there's nothing but sand left!
posted by pyramid termite at 9:43 PM on September 16, 2005

What about sticks?
posted by caddis at 9:44 PM on September 16, 2005

I've trained extensively at the Culinary Institue of America and I can kill a grown man at twenty paces with a box of saran wrap. My drawers are overflowing with lethal weapons: nut crackers, meat thermometers, melon ballers, and potato mashers, and I'm not afraid to use them.

Since these pages are read by people with sensitive stomachs, I won't describe what I can do with an entire box of 500 frilly toothpicks-- I will leave that to your imagination.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 9:56 PM on September 16, 2005

How on earth am I supposed to chase people around my kitchen because things just aren't going right with dinner without my wüsthof?



That's fourteen inches that says I love you in the most passionate, intense way possible.
After all, it's just not true love without a little fear.
posted by cytherea at 10:06 PM on September 16, 2005

I won't feel safe until someone takes away Secret Life of Gravy's frilly toothpicks.
posted by Cranberry at 10:52 PM on September 16, 2005

Woo, Gravy, that's hardcore. Remind me not to get you upset.

Death by frilly toothpick: painful, AND decorative.
posted by Malor at 11:19 PM on September 16, 2005

No Joke: Woman killed by falling on a knife in a dishwasher: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/2943930.stm
posted by marvin at 11:43 PM on September 16, 2005

So can one of you knife fetishist tell me why a point is required, and a rounded, tapered end wouldn't?
posted by betaray at 1:12 AM on September 17, 2005

Don't post at 3:12am.

So can one of you knife fetishists tell me why a point is required, and a rounded, tapered end wouldn't work?
posted by betaray at 1:13 AM on September 17, 2005

Maybe if they spent $100 billion on a Knife Registry Program, they could be more like Canada. Which is to say, people would still stab each other, but some of the trials might go a little quicker.

If you take away knives, people will carry around screwdrivers. That wouldn't be so bad though... the worst thing someone could do to you, is throw vodka and orange juice in your eyes.

So then you have to install prohibition. And it takes a whole weekend to do that installation, take my word for it.

This will all go away once we start transferring our brains into metal tanks, and living in a shared hallucination. Heck, the White House is halfway there already.

Thank you MeFi! I love you! Good night!
posted by Darkman at 1:34 AM on September 17, 2005

Polarisman:
Last I recall England's banning guns from civilian ownership has done nothing to reduce the overall crime rate there.

That's because there was very little crime involved guns before or after. The ban was to stop mentalists walking into villages (Hungerford) or schools (Dunblane) and shooting everyone in sight.

"England has the "worst crime rate in world".

If you look at the actual numbers quoted, there's not much difference from one country to another. England and Wales = 9,766 crimes per 100,000 people. USA = 8,517 and Germany = 7,621. The chance of being a victim isn't much different to living anywhere else.
posted by cillit bang at 1:44 AM on September 17, 2005

The crazed war on drugs has really contributed nothing. People in the UK have turned to drink because drugs are illegal? Wtf? The crazed plan to allow 24hr drinking in pubs, soon to be implemented by a crazed government to recoup money they can't tax from one of Britains most popular and lucrative leisure pursuits, is going to do more harm than any kitchen knife. And it's going to increase violent knife crime, drug dealing...there are no positives.

Pure unsubstantiated bullshit.
posted by srboisvert at 4:32 AM on September 17, 2005

Considering I could take a human arm off in roughly 20-30 seconds with a boning knife, I really don't see what shorter, "less pointy" knives are going to do to increase general safety.

I think we've reached a consensus here; if someone wants to kill / hurt you, they'll find a way to do it. I could do it with a credit card, if I wanted.

Maybe they should ban murder. Oh wait, I think they tried that... I'm pro-life; there will be no death on my planet.
posted by Dark Messiah at 6:03 AM on September 17, 2005

If there is no long, pointy knife available in your kitchen to deal with your adversary, I recommend a good cast iron frying pan. Aim for the side of the head, and don't forget to follow through on your swing.

It's might not be quite as lethal, but the clean-up is much easier. And even if you just manage to knock out your victim, at least you'll have some time to go hunt down the extension cord, so you can finish them off before they come to.
posted by bashos_frog at 7:41 AM on September 17, 2005

one of you knife fetishists tell me why a point is required, and a rounded, tapered end wouldn't work?

Rounded and tapered implies a greater thickness of metal at the end, which will either mis-balance the knife or mean that you need a much heavier tang.

Making a knife a little bit more rounded wouldn't do anything. Then you'd have something with a tip like a flathead screwdriver, and those make perfectly good enstabbenizers.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:00 AM on September 17, 2005

So can one of you knife fetishist tell me why a point is required, and a rounded, tapered end wouldn't?

That's cooking equipment fetishist to you. Knife fetishists drink beer out of a can and watch the home shopping network between televised sporting events. We drink chardonnay in a glass and gossip in line at Zabar's between enhancing our sense of inadequacy with Larousse and neurotically preparing the our reductions.

The point is useful for de-boning and making incisions. More importantly, it's French. And while not absolutely essential, it doesn't make the knife any less dangerous...


posted by cytherea at 8:06 AM on September 17, 2005

i don't understand smoking bans in bars. i don't understand skateboarding is illegal in norway. and i surely don't understand banning sharp, pointy knives in the uk.
posted by brandz at 5:07 AM GMT on September 17 [!]

Are you sure about that? Or is that some attempt at a joke?
posted by dash_slot- at 8:30 AM on September 17, 2005

W.M.D.'s are everywhere! Expect a black helicopter with MP-5 toting, masked men to come crashing through your windows soon.

Please leave out butter scones and tea for their arival.
posted by Balisong at 8:56 AM on September 17, 2005

Guns for show, knives for a pro.
posted by Joeforking at 10:28 AM on September 17, 2005

If there is no long, pointy knife available in your kitchen to deal with your adversary, I recommend a good cast iron frying pan.

I remember reading recently (sorry, wracked my brain but can't remember where) that a woman defending herself in a kitchen would be better off grabbing a heavy skillet as her weapon of choice rather than a knife, because a weighted overhead bonk would be harder for a man to fend off than an up-close thrusting motion.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 12:42 PM on September 17, 2005

Knife fetishists drink beer out of a can and watch the home shopping network between televised sporting events.

... and/or are Angelina Jolie.
posted by melixxa600 at 12:58 PM on September 17, 2005

I almost lost an eye to a pointy, pointy German knife.

My stupid, stupid housemate who was a nigh-autistic German immunologist liked to loudly caw about how awful and unsafe Americans were, and how unhygenic, how dumb, and how inferior to Germans they were. But this same guy would splash-bathe in the sink and saw nothing wrong about that, or go a week without showering. NO PROBLEM.

That said, he preferred to put his sharp-ass drop forged knives in the dishwasher and the drying rack point up, "because they might corrode" in the strainer point down (wtf?). I would constantly tell him and tell him and then one day, I reached over to get something in the dishwasher and his knives were in the strainer. My head was moving and then I heard a loud TAP.

The blade of one of his goddamn knives had hit the right lens of my glasses and left a nice little divot. Had my glasses not been there, I would have taken it in the eye. Had his knife been blade down, as is normal human safety, I would not have missed the edge-on blade coming at me.

Anyway, I read him the Riot Act for it and promised him that if the knives were ever blade up in my sight again, they would either never been seen again or else he would find them point-up somewhere *he* wasn't expecting them. It was the only time he showed anything approaching contrition.

I tell this story anytime people ask me why I don't get laser eye surgery. The world is trying to poke my eyes out, is my response.
posted by trigonometry at 6:09 PM on September 17, 2005

OOps. I was telling the story and forgot the (ha ha) point: the knives are damn dangerous, especially if people don't respect them. That said, they were the best knives I ever used, and now I own a set of my own. "Knife control" is farcical. You can kill someone with a butter knife if you want. Some hazards need to be learned by adults.
posted by trigonometry at 6:11 PM on September 17, 2005

So can one of you knife fetishist tell me why a point is required, and a rounded, tapered end wouldn't?

How the hell else are you supposed to get the plastic wrap off the frozen pizza?
posted by dirigibleman at 9:17 PM on September 17, 2005

No Joke: Woman killed by falling on a knife in a dishwasher /
he preferred to put his sharp-ass drop forged knives in the dishwasher

Who the hell puts their knives in the dishwasher?
posted by mimi at 6:35 AM on September 18, 2005

I do. I know it makes them wear faster, but I'd rather have to buy a new set of knives every ten or fifteen years than spend all that time washing them by hand thousands of times.

Espeically because I am, to use the technical term, a klutz. And so stand a nontrivial risk of self-slicing when washing knives by hand.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:28 AM on September 18, 2005

he preferred to put his sharp-ass drop forged knives in the dishwasher

That's it. He deserves to die. You never put knives in the dishwasher.

And ROU, it really doesn't take long to wash them by hand, and as long as you hold them by the handle and respect the sharp side, you'll be fine. (I just fold one of those scrubber sponges around the blunt edge when I'm washing the blade.)
posted by Vidiot at 10:00 AM on September 18, 2005

And ROU, it really doesn't take long to wash them by hand

Call it one minute, which is surely a lower bound. Multiply by, oh, say 300 days/year and you get 5 hrs/year. Or a work week every eight years. My time is worth enough to me that I won't spend it doing stuff I hate for minimal reward. I'd be running the washer anyway so there's no increased resource cost, just wear on the knives, which I happily accept.

That sort of knife fetish is one of those things I don't get. Sure, washing them in the dishwasher means that my knives from 1993 have handles that are a little bit tatty, and I'll probably want to pick up some new ones sometime in the next five or ten years. But... so? A new set of knives will cost me less than $400, even if I splurge. $400 every 15 years is just not a big deal.

as long as you hold them by the handle and respect the sharp side, you'll be fine

Speak for yourself, paleface. My knuckles and fingertips tell a different story because I am, as I noted, a klutz.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:03 AM on September 18, 2005

In my hometown we are faced with lots of knife crime. A guy I went to school with stabbed one guy and then slashed him for a laugh. He cut the guy's face in two and then went back to drinking with his friends while they gave him high fives.

I dont know what it's like to see guns around much (only ever really see them at Heathrow) but I think there is something very scary about the thought of being stabbed. There is no random element to it, in that if someone is going to chib you there is no doubt about the intent.

It is also not uncommon for stab victims in feuds to end up buggered by a screwdriver (left in the anus deliberately) as a final insult before they head for the big banana in the sky.

Here is a selection of the common chibs currently in use in Glasgow. These are especially favoured by the the ned.
posted by ClanvidHorse at 12:06 PM on September 18, 2005

Automobiles kill far more people than knives, and also pollute the environment. Where's the call to ban them?

I'm with you. I hereby call for a ban on automobiles. I may have done it b4.

Who the hell puts their knives in the dishwasher?

Who the hell uses a dishwasher?
posted by mrgrimm at 9:55 AM on September 19, 2005

betaray writes "So can one of you knife fetishist tell me why a point is required, and a rounded, tapered end wouldn't?"

Also useful for getting whole garlic into the centre of roasts without weaking the surrounding structure.
posted by Mitheral at 11:29 AM on September 20, 2005