Sport Conspiracy theories

September 18, 2005 9:36 PM

Jets meet-up suggestthat George Bush really does not like black people. A post over at Grabthar's Hammer analyses a recent photo-op of the President with the New York Jets, and figures out that the probability of the black players having been kept out of the immediate vicinity of Dubya (as you can see is the case in the photos supplied on the post) was 0.4%.
posted by noizyboy (38 comments total)

yeah, but it's balanced by a 0.4% chance that a black person would want to stand next to george bush at a photo-op
posted by troybob at 9:42 PM on September 18, 2005

To really get to the bottom of this, someone needs to compare the heights of the players to their positions in the line-up.
posted by Espy Gillespie at 9:46 PM on September 18, 2005

Yaaah bollocks. The "near the Prez" discriminator includes non-black people way out on the wings and misses a black guy just up and left a bit.

Though troybob's answer is funnier.
posted by wilful at 9:46 PM on September 18, 2005

Besides being a specious argument, he was meeting the New England Patriots.
posted by kyleg at 9:47 PM on September 18, 2005

Another possibility: the black players don't like Bush, and don't want to be seen near him.

Also, rich white dudes seem to REALLY love Bush, so they might just be elbowing all the brothers out of the way.

on preview, what troybob said.
posted by b1tr0t at 9:53 PM on September 18, 2005

It seems like every road work crew I have ever passed, the guy on the bulldozer or standing by the truck is white, and the guys shoveling asphalt are always black.
posted by The Jesse Helms at 9:58 PM on September 18, 2005

...he was meeting the New England Patriots.

Ah, sorry, my mistake. Can't tell one American Football team from another out of their uniforms.
posted by noizyboy at 10:08 PM on September 18, 2005

And they're all smiling nervously because they remember Pat Tillman...
posted by Vidiot at 10:19 PM on September 18, 2005

For group photos, taller people are meant to stand in the back. Could it be that these black people are standing in the back because they are taller?

I don't like George Bush as much as the next guy, but this article is really grasping at straws here.
posted by Chasuk at 10:42 PM on September 18, 2005

Wow, when did mefi crossover into onion territory?
posted by justgary at 10:51 PM on September 18, 2005

onion territory...

Bush Responds to Kanye West:
"Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job."
posted by hellbient at 10:59 PM on September 18, 2005

Yeah, I figured it was a hight-related thing as well. Still, it is kinda funny.

[george bush dosn't care about anybody]
posted by delmoi at 11:10 PM on September 18, 2005

Damn, troybob read my mind.
posted by sbutler at 11:14 PM on September 18, 2005

george bush dosn't care about anybody

Bingo!
posted by caddis at 12:35 AM on September 19, 2005

Because, of course, George Bush personally decides where everyone gets to stand at each and every photo op.
posted by rjt at 12:47 AM on September 19, 2005

This fpp... sheesh..

I want my 1 minute back!

feels a lot like race baiting.... not good
posted by HuronBob at 2:41 AM on September 19, 2005

George Bush really does not like black people

Yeah, which is why he made one his right-hand woman ... Jeez, enough with the stupid Kanye West imitations already, it was bad enough when he blurted it out the first time, and I say this as one of those black people Dubya supposedly doesn't like.
posted by Goedel at 3:19 AM on September 19, 2005

Can't tell one American Football team from another out of their uniforms.

What kind of a fan are you?
posted by graventy at 3:31 AM on September 19, 2005

I don't like George Bush as much as the next guy, . . .

I also prefer the next guy.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 5:33 AM on September 19, 2005

There's nothing random or spontaneous about this grouping, and the fact that Bush was surrounded by a cordon of white guys jumped out at me before I'd read any commentary. The point is not whether Bush likes black people or not--I'm sure anybody who hands him a beer or brings him some cash in an envelope is okay by him--but that his core constituency contains an awful lot of former Dixiecrats and their unreconstructed children.
posted by Zo d'Axa at 6:11 AM on September 19, 2005

Bush doesn't like people with blonde hair! I see no people with blonde hair around him!
posted by geoff. at 6:18 AM on September 19, 2005

I don't like George Bush as much as the next guy, . . .

I also prefer the next guy.

Uhm...the next guy is Cheney.
posted by srboisvert at 6:26 AM on September 19, 2005

Bush hates poor people. I can tell because there isn't a single one in that picture. Can someone break it down by salary? Are the lower paid players at the back?
posted by srboisvert at 6:32 AM on September 19, 2005

Rice...
posted by juiceCake at 7:06 AM on September 19, 2005

Rice is not black. Rice is a cyborg from the planet Sylon J, sent from the future to buy Prada fashions and look the other way while 9/11 happened.
posted by Rothko at 7:14 AM on September 19, 2005

Aren't the white guys nearest the president the coaches? They do tend to be rather white, but that's the NFL's problem, not the White House's. And like wilful indicated, some of the "close to the president" white guys are actually farther away than some of the black guys.
posted by smackfu at 7:18 AM on September 19, 2005

Maybe we should ask the photographer if it's about compositional symmetry, putting a layer of white guys around Bush up front, and then another layer of black guys away from Bush at the back of the busroom.
posted by Rothko at 7:23 AM on September 19, 2005

I can take all kinds of crap about the US government and the Prez from Americans but it boils no end me to read a non-American posting utter nonsense.
posted by shockingbluamp at 8:47 AM on September 19, 2005

because only Americans should post utter nonsense?

That doesn't seem fair.
posted by dness2 at 8:51 AM on September 19, 2005

Actually, I'm sure they try to put the biggest stars next to the Pres, so Tom Brady and Teddy Bruschi are up front. There really aren't any black stars on the Patriots (or any stars besides Brady). Willie McGinest would probably be next on the list, but the case could also be made that Vinitieri is a bigger star than he is. I didn't look at the picture to see who was standing where - just that Tedy and Tom were in the front.
posted by b_thinky at 10:33 AM on September 19, 2005

Let's see. .4% that one photo-op can produce these events? (That percentage has already been called into question. But let's just take it as a given)

How photo-ops does a president do anyway? If it's 100, the odds of 100 iterations not producing 1 example of .4% probability, is around 67%. So about a 33% chance of it happening at least once. 200 iterations would be 45% chance of it happening once.

The sample size is one. Can we draw on a larger sample set? How do you eliminate bias when deciding who is "close" and who is "not close", are these precise measurements?

This doesn't seem to be good science.
posted by Bonzai at 10:34 AM on September 19, 2005

is all the outrage and analysis expressed here for real?
I'm pretty sure this is a joke folks...
posted by hellbient at 10:48 AM on September 19, 2005

Structure is not the result of random chance. A recognizable pattern or design is evidence of an intelligent designer. To suggest that the positions of each person came about either by chance or evolved through trial and error over a long period of time in order to ultimately create the best balance of physical height and relative importance is to deny God's hand in all things. God made the Patriots superbowl champions. God made Bush our president, and God made the black players stand in the back. Nothing happens by chance.
posted by wKen at 11:21 AM on September 19, 2005

ok, i'm confused. are the Bush media people (a) masters of PR and the staged press appearance (as per the blue-building post on MeFi recently) or are they (b) dumb enough to stage a photo op where all the black people were nowhere near the president?
posted by spiderwire at 11:31 AM on September 19, 2005

wKen wins.
posted by The Bellman at 1:52 PM on September 19, 2005

I don't like George Bush as much as the next guy, . . .

I also prefer the next guy.

Uhm...the next guy is Cheney.

Not that next guy! The next guy to get elected president - that's the next guy I prefer. Assuming we're allowed to have an election. Otherwise, I don't like that guy either.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 6:41 PM on September 19, 2005

Is this the thread where we all gather to get angry about possible logical fallacies in a joke article?
posted by Bugbread at 8:36 PM on September 19, 2005

It would seem so.
posted by noizyboy at 12:17 AM on September 20, 2005