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September 19, 2005 3:07 AM   Subscribe

Today is "Talk Like a Pirate" Day. Yarr! Do yer part, landlubbers, by translating yer favorite webpage into pirate-speak. Yarr!
posted by starkeffect (96 comments total)

 
what's the pirate word for search?
posted by johnny novak at 3:16 AM on September 19, 2005


Avast ye! All those other posts were gearing up for today, me hearties! I'll keelhaul ye if ye say different. Yarr.
posted by starkeffect at 3:29 AM on September 19, 2005


Alas, I don't speak indonesian.
posted by srboisvert at 4:13 AM on September 19, 2005


It will be so great if only starkeffect talks like a pirate in this thread.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 4:32 AM on September 19, 2005


shiver me timbers, has it been a year already? Arrr!
posted by dabitch at 4:32 AM on September 19, 2005


Stupidest Internet holiday ever.
posted by jimmy at 4:33 AM on September 19, 2005


(sorry P_G, didn't see your comment)
posted by dabitch at 4:33 AM on September 19, 2005


That was last year's. This link is for THIS year's. :-)

Oh, btw, yar.
posted by Malor at 4:33 AM on September 19, 2005


Yarr, methinks we fine MeFe folk can, like, totally combine two sea-farin' traditions with Talk Like a Valley Girl Pirate day, dude.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 4:48 AM on September 19, 2005


Thar she blows!
posted by furtive at 4:49 AM on September 19, 2005


Alas, I don't speak indonesian.
Nobody does. It's called Bahasa Indonesia ;-)

[/peda-harrrr-dant]
posted by i_cola at 4:59 AM on September 19, 2005


Let's not forget that Talk Like a Pirate day is a Pastafarian holiday, as well.
posted by Dipsomaniac at 5:00 AM on September 19, 2005


Yarrr! There be far too many scurvy dogs in this thread already. It be the cat o' nine-tails for the lot o' ye. Yarrr.
posted by anagrama at 5:08 AM on September 19, 2005


WOW I LOVE THESE INTERNET SPECIAL DAYS AM I DOING IT RIGHT?
posted by grouse at 5:10 AM on September 19, 2005


Well, blow me down! Thar, off the windward bow, the frigate Jimmy! Ready your blunderbuss, and up the ratlines! Prepare the cannons with knipple-shot! We'll hit 'im broadside! Ready about?! Helm's alee!!!

(Now, where's my cutlass and borading axe...?)

*ties bowline with eyes closed*

*tries to tie monkey's fist from diagram...gives up*
posted by kortez at 5:18 AM on September 19, 2005


Even I boycott this. It's become so commercialised: I think we've lost the true feeling of what it is to talk like a pirate.
posted by NinjaPirate at 5:18 AM on September 19, 2005


landlubbers
posted by NinjaPirate at 5:19 AM on September 19, 2005


Avast...boarding...crap.

*keelhauls self*
posted by kortez at 5:20 AM on September 19, 2005


Avast MeFites!! Your days of Ignorin this young Scallywag are over!! So what if my skull and crossbones comments dont make sense ever maties? I am taking over MeFi island and nobody has the gull to stop Captain WheelBeard!! Yar, this comment is lame. *Parrot on shoulder says "WheelBeard is lame ACK* WHO ASKED YOU BIRDBRAIN!!, *as he thrusts his sword at his bird*

/good times (this is good but weird)
posted by wheelieman at 5:39 AM on September 19, 2005


TODAY ALSO BE CAPSLOCK DAY, YOU CRUSTY SEA WENCHES
posted by loquacious at 5:44 AM on September 19, 2005


Yar, I love this holiday, mostly because it lands on my baarrrrthday.
posted by doozer_ex_machina at 5:55 AM on September 19, 2005


OCTOBER 22 IS INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY YA SCALLYWAG!!

Many moons ago, the language was that of a refined British butler, but one fateful night at the wood-fired pizza place, a drunken lanewalk with twenty drunk hearties and pirate speak was born...

Well for us anyway. Then someone made a day out of it and now everyone's doing it. Posers.

/rant

posted by bdave at 5:56 AM on September 19, 2005


I'm still waiting for compusa to carry these.
posted by incongruity at 5:56 AM on September 19, 2005


Is everyone using the official keyboard?
posted by sciurus at 6:03 AM on September 19, 2005


O CAPTAIN! my Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won;
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

(Walt Whitman)
posted by R. Mutt at 6:05 AM on September 19, 2005


incongruity : "I'm still waiting for compusa to carry these."

Gold. Or pieces of eight if you prefer.
posted by bdave at 6:09 AM on September 19, 2005


Let's not forget that Talk Like a Pirate day is a Pastafarian holiday, as well.

Cool. Since it's a religious holiday, we all get the day off, right?

(uh, yarrr.)
posted by Zonker at 6:19 AM on September 19, 2005


And unmoor'd souls may drift on stranger tides
Than those men know of, and be overthrown
By winds that would not even stir a hair ...
-William Ashbless
posted by Wolfdog at 6:19 AM on September 19, 2005


O CAPTAIN! me Captain! our fearful trip be done;
T' ship has weather’d every rack, t' prize we sought be won;
T' port be near, t' bells I hear, t' people all exultin',
While follow eaye t' steady keel, t' vessel grim and darin':
But O heart! heart! heart!
O t' bleedin' drops o' red,
Where on t' deck me Captain lies,
Fallen cold and went t' Davy Jones' locker.

(Pirate Whitman)
posted by R. Mutt at 6:21 AM on September 19, 2005


Paul McCarthy, checking in. (Dick Eye, nsfw i guess)
posted by eatitlive at 6:27 AM on September 19, 2005


Pirate telegram:

R STOP
posted by caution live frogs at 6:42 AM on September 19, 2005


Yo ho ho, and a bottle of this

posted by Gamblor at 6:45 AM on September 19, 2005


set     I1, 1
LOOP: gt I1, 10, END
print "R"
inc I1
branch LOOP
END: print "!\n"
end
Talk like a parrot day
posted by Wolfdog at 6:48 AM on September 19, 2005


Or, "talk like a pirate in parrot", I suppose.
posted by Wolfdog at 6:49 AM on September 19, 2005


I'm leaving my family, leaving all my friends,
My body's at home but my heart's in the wind,
Where the clouds are like headlines on a new front-page sky,
My tears are saltwater and the moon's full and high.
And I know Martin Eden's going to be proud of me,
Many before me have been called by the sea,
To be up in the crow's-nest, singing my lay,
Shiver m' timbers, I'm sailing away.

-That be Cap'n Tom Waits, me hardies!
posted by jrossi4r at 6:49 AM on September 19, 2005


Avast, ye maties... how appropriate be today's Speed Bump cartoon.
posted by JWright at 6:55 AM on September 19, 2005


Ha-harrrrr! Aye tell ya, me boys, it does this auld pirate's hearrrrrrt good to visit this scurvy site on a Monday marrrrrnin, all a-wonder as whether this post has been made yet - and there it is atop the blasted front page, so I needn't scroll to farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...





rrrrrrrrrrrr.
posted by soyjoy at 7:07 AM on September 19, 2005


Mother, mother ocean, I have heard you call,
Wanted to sail upon your waters
since I was three feet tall.
You've seen it all, you've seen it all.

Watch the men who rode you,
Switch from sails to steam.
And in your belly you hold the treasure
that few have ever seen, most of them dreams,
Most of them dreams.

Yes, I am a pirate two hundred years too late.
The cannons don't thunder there's nothin' to plunder
I'm an over forty victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late.

I've done a bit of smugglin'
I've run my share of grass.
I made enough money to buy Miami,
But I pissed it away so fast,
Never meant to last, never meant to last.

I have been drunk now for over two weeks,
I passed out and I rallied and I sprung a few leaks,
But I've got to stop wishin',
Got to go fishin', I'm down to rock bottom again.
Just a few friends, just a few friends.

I go for younger women, lived with several awhile
And though I ran away, they'll come back one day.
And still could manage a smile
It just takes awhile, just takes awhile.

Mother, mother ocean, after all these years I've found
My occupational hazard being my occupations
just not around.
I feel like I've drowned,
Gonna head uptown.

--Yarr *hic*
posted by cleverusername at 7:10 AM on September 19, 2005


Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho!

posted by dnash at 7:16 AM on September 19, 2005


I want to stab these people in the face. Repeatedly. I believe this is my least favorite internet phenomenon that became widespread.

I would really like to see this day replaced with Swear like a Sailor day. It's even an alliteration.

Then again, I am posting at 7am after not sleeping, so who knows.

(Although I am looking forward to the Shaolin Monks vs. Pirates movie.)
posted by Hactar at 7:18 AM on September 19, 2005


I MUST down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by,
And the wheel's kick and the wind's song and the white sail's shaking,
And a grey mist on the sea's face and a grey dawn breaking.

I must down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;
And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.

I must down to the seas again to the vagrant gypsy life.
To the gull's way and the whale's way where the wind's like a whetted knife;

And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover,
And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick's over.

-John Masefield

Yarrr! The Pirate KaliBeard comes!

*swoops down*

Aye, this do be the best day o' the yarrrr.....

*passes around rum*
posted by kalimac at 7:26 AM on September 19, 2005


Over on imdb.com, they have scurvy titles for their Hit List such as:
'Ahoy! Know Ye' Mark Ruffalo, A Rakish Lad?'
'Lost Be A Tangled Mystery, Me Hearties'
'Brosnan Hoists A Dark And Stormy'
'Walk The Plank..er...Walk The Line Premiere Photos'
posted by of strange foe at 7:29 AM on September 19, 2005


Jooost trayyyyyye to stab me in the face, Hactarrrrrrr ya scurvy bastarrrrrd! You'll be swearin' like a sailor then, I'll warrrrrant thee!
posted by soyjoy at 7:32 AM on September 19, 2005


"I hope Lloyd doesn't put me on waivers or trade me today. Fuck, what a great game we had last night, huh? Kicked those pussy Reds asses all over the field. And man, ol' Wilson is having a torrid month at the plate, eh?"
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 7:35 AM on September 19, 2005 [1 favorite]


Hey man check this out. I found a FTP site with all of today's top songs and they are free! I think I'll go download them without paying, thereby denying royalties to the artists!
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 7:41 AM on September 19, 2005


Oh sure, to you its just a dingy with a ham radio floating around in the bay. To me, its indie radio. Or something along those lines.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 7:43 AM on September 19, 2005


15 TH15 TH3 \/\/R0NG K1ND 0F P1R4TE?

posted by Pretty_Generic at 7:46 AM on September 19, 2005


Do pirates wear plaid?

Aye... they like Arrrrrrrrrgyle
posted by AspectRatio at 7:59 AM on September 19, 2005


Pirate Riddles for Sophisticates...
posted by SweetJesus at 8:01 AM on September 19, 2005


Yarr! Pirates, hail ye Patron Saint
posted by stbalbach at 8:27 AM on September 19, 2005


Arrr, mein herr! Don't forget the German Pirates! Danke schoen, matey.
posted by Asparagirl at 8:32 AM on September 19, 2005


And if you're in Providence, go check out some a capirate!
posted by redbeard at 8:45 AM on September 19, 2005


You can only say "avast me hearties" if you can do it better than Johnny Depp did.
posted by Ber at 8:57 AM on September 19, 2005


Stupidest Internet holiday ever.

A. men.
posted by yoga at 8:59 AM on September 19, 2005


For some people, it just turns out to be "Whine like a scurvy dog" day.
posted by Wolfdog at 9:06 AM on September 19, 2005


Gentlemen! I give you Peter Styvesant, pegleg governor of New York.

Governor Stuyvesant was above medium height, with a fine physique. He dressed with care, and usually wore slashed hose fastened at the knee by a knotted scarf, a velvet jacket with slashed sleeves over a full puffed shirt, and rosettes upon his shoes. His lost leg was replaced by a wooden one with silver bands, which accounts for the tradition that he wore a silver leg.
posted by R. Mutt at 9:15 AM on September 19, 2005


Just out of curiousity, what rates as a smart internet holiday?
posted by tula at 9:16 AM on September 19, 2005


Oh my god, you're all such shills. Everyone knows that Talk Like a Pirate Day was invented by a consortium of disgruntled optometrists in order to jack up sales of eyepatches. Seriously- it's so aaaaarbitrary.
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 9:24 AM on September 19, 2005


I would really like to see this day replaced with Swear like a Sailor day. It's even an alliteration.

Starring Jack Nicholson. Here ya go:
"Shore patrol!? I AM THE FUCKING SHORE PATROL!" (slams sidearm down on bar, etc.)

/all pirates are sailors, but not all sailors are pirates, but they all like a good expletive
posted by scratch at 9:26 AM on September 19, 2005


It's not far down to paradise
At least it's not for me
And if the wind is right you can sail away
And find tranquility
The canvas can do miracles
Just you wait and see
Believe me

It's not far to never never land
No reason to pretend
And if the wind is right you can find the joy
Of innocence again
The canvas can do miracles
Just you wait and see
Believe me

Sailing
Takes me away
To where I've always heard it could be
Just a dream and the wind to carry me
And soon I will be free




...what? Arrrrrr.
posted by Extopalopaketle at 9:28 AM on September 19, 2005


There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose parrot was so long he could parrot it,
He said with a grin,
As he wpied off his chin,
If my ear was a parrot I would parrot it!
posted by R. Mutt at 9:40 AM on September 19, 2005


There once was a lady from Wheeling,
Who said "I have no sexual feeling."
Along came Boris who licked her parrot
And she had to be scraped from the ceiling.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 9:52 AM on September 19, 2005


grouse: "WOW I LOVE THESE INTERNET SPECIAL DAYS AM I DOING IT RIGHT?"

No, it's not Talk Like Naxosaxur Day yet.
posted by kenko at 9:59 AM on September 19, 2005


Yellow Beard
'Who's this dog then?"

Prostitute
"He's your son. You know. From that time. When we wuz hav'n that cuddle."

Yellow Beard
"My WHAT? Cuddle!? Arrr you mad? You mean I was rape'n ya!?"

Prostitute
"No. A Cuddle. He's your son. The fruit of your loins!"

Yellowbeard
"Woman. I don't have fruit in m'loins. I got crabs. And damn proud of 'em!"
posted by tkchrist at 10:03 AM on September 19, 2005


My word, now. Such filthy uncouth and darest I say, uneducated language. For shame, my fellow naval adventurers.

</Sir Walter Raleigh>
posted by PurplePorpoise at 10:21 AM on September 19, 2005


I am definitely watching Yellow Beard today. Best. Pirate. Movie. Evar.

Cheech & Chong + Monty Python + Mel Brooks Crew == Comedy Gold

Havrey "Blind" Pew: "I have acute 'earing"
Commander Clement: "I dont' care about your personal jewelry!"
posted by afflatus at 10:27 AM on September 19, 2005


Best Stupid Fake Internet Holiday ever!

Pour, oh, pour the pirate sherry,
Fill, O fill the pirate glass!
And, to make us more than merry,
Let the pirate bumper pass!

For today our pirate 'prentice
Rises from indenture freed;
Strong his arm, and keen his scent is
He’s a pirate now indeed!

Here’s good luck to Frederic’s ventures!
Frederic’s out of his indentures.

Two and twenty, now he’s rising,
And alone he’s fit to fly,
Which we’re bent on signalizing
With unusual revelry.

Here’s good luck to Frederic’s ventures!
Frederic’s out of his indentures.

Pour, oh, pour the pirate sherry,
Fill, O fill the pirate glass!
And, to make us more than merry,
Let the pirate bumper pass!


Oh... arrrgh!
posted by ObscureReferenceMan at 10:43 AM on September 19, 2005


Pieces of eight! Pieces of eight! Pieces of eight! Pieces of eight! Pieces of eight!
posted by Pendragon at 10:59 AM on September 19, 2005


Oh, talk like a pirate
posted by Pendragon at 11:00 AM on September 19, 2005


63t ur CR4CKZ + W4R3Z H3R3 D00DZ
posted by George_Spiggott at 11:13 AM on September 19, 2005


prepare to be boarded…
posted by al_fresco at 11:19 AM on September 19, 2005


Pieces of eight! Pieces of eight! Pieces of eight! Pieces of eight! Pieces of eight!


£4.53! £4.53!
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 11:44 AM on September 19, 2005


Just out of curiousity, what rates as a smart internet holiday?

Now why would you even assume that such a thing exists?
posted by jimmy at 11:48 AM on September 19, 2005


What's the ninth letter in the pirate alphabet?
posted by pointilist at 11:53 AM on September 19, 2005


Did you hear about the new pirate movie?

It's rated "Arrrr".
posted by Gamblor at 12:14 PM on September 19, 2005


So, who here knows what a pirate's favorite poem about poetry is?
posted by kenko at 12:20 PM on September 19, 2005


A pirate's favourite cheese? Jarrrrrrrlsberg.
posted by TheDonF at 12:43 PM on September 19, 2005


Did you hear about the kid whose parents were a pirate and an investment banker?
He was really into aaaaaaaarbitrage.
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 12:45 PM on September 19, 2005


What's a pirates favorite fast food restaurant?
Arrrrrrby's.

What's a pirate's favorite state?
Arrrrrrrkansas.

What's a pirate's favorite letter?
"P" for "pirate," of course.

Man I love that one.
posted by PhatLobley at 12:59 PM on September 19, 2005


Gamblor- PG-13. If you say it with a proper pirate accent the joke is much funnier.
posted by Hactar at 1:02 PM on September 19, 2005


Why did the pirate cross the road?
Because that's where he'd paaarrrrked his caaarrr.

/b'dump
posted by seanyboy at 1:24 PM on September 19, 2005


So, who here knows what a pirate's favorite poem about poetry is?
Was it written by the Baaarrrrd?
posted by seanyboy at 1:25 PM on September 19, 2005


Before the origin of the day is lost in obscurity, let's give credit where credit is due-- to John Baur and Mark Summers for coming up with this idea back in 1995 and for Dave Barry's bringing it to the masses in 2002 .


So here's a toast to Baaaaauuuuur and Maaaaark and Baaaaaary.
posted by notmtwain at 1:35 PM on September 19, 2005


Q: So, were you in an accident or something?
A: No, me father was a tree.
posted by kosem at 1:57 PM on September 19, 2005


Q: Did you know there's a steering wheel coming out of your pants?
posted by Wolfdog at 2:25 PM on September 19, 2005


Yarrr, it's drivin' me nuts!
posted by graventy at 2:26 PM on September 19, 2005


This seems like a nice day to revisit the best book report ever. You might have forgotten about the pirates in To Kill a Mockingbird. But they're there.
posted by Wolfdog at 2:32 PM on September 19, 2005


Yarrrr...

What has 8 legs and 8 arms?

8 Pirates.... aarrrrrrr!!!
posted by AspectRatio at 3:28 PM on September 19, 2005


"I hope Lloyd doesn't put me on waivers or trade me today. Fuck, what a great game we had last night, huh? Kicked those pussy Reds asses all over the field. And man, ol' Wilson is having a torrid month at the plate, eh?"

Good one, KS.
posted by Zonker at 4:23 PM on September 19, 2005


Avast! Mr. Johnson! I have yer test results here, yarr. Ye tumor on ye gallbladder is metastisized, yarrr!

Nah, wouldn't work for Doctors.
posted by Smedleyman at 4:30 PM on September 19, 2005


Here's some pirate tattoos I just posted
posted by glider at 4:46 PM on September 19, 2005


Avast! Will ye scurvey dogs in SF be guzzlin' ale at the Whiskey Thieves tonight?

Arr.
posted by jewzilla at 4:57 PM on September 19, 2005


Even I boycott this. It's become so commercialised: I think we've lost the true feeling of what it is to talk like a pirate.

Quicktime be requarrrrrrrrred
posted by WolfDaddy at 6:03 PM on September 19, 2005


How do you say "so fucking tired" in pirate speak?
posted by scarabic at 8:26 PM on September 19, 2005


Like this:

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZARR
posted by soyjoy at 10:28 PM on September 19, 2005


Today must be Do Not Talk Like A Pirate Day. For me I guess it must therefore default back to Talk Like A Middle Class Bleeding Heart Liberal Femnazi Day.

And where's the fun in that?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 9:44 AM on September 20, 2005


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