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Does Neo wear a funny hat? Does Trinity...oh, never mind
September 22, 2005 12:20 PM Subscribe

"If we can get kids to hang a picture of a priest in their room, we've done something huge for vocations." The associate director of youth and young adult ministry for the Archdiocese of Indianapolis is using a Matrix-style poster to drum up enrollment in the priesthood...and exponentially increase bad Photoshop pranks, if I know the internets at all. Oh well. At least it's not as bad as using video games to recruit soldiers! (Hat tip to NSFW-SG!)
posted by bitter-girl.com (92 comments total)

In case they remove the image...
posted by bitter-girl.com at 12:22 PM on September 22, 2005

Gays need not apply.
posted by ericb at 12:23 PM on September 22, 2005

What's the small text say? I really, really want one of these posters. The cool factor is through the roof on this.
posted by geoff. at 12:23 PM on September 22, 2005

Its like Buddy Christ only cooler!

Forbs had a nice article treating religion as a buisness.
posted by jeffburdges at 12:24 PM on September 22, 2005

I can think of a few reasons to hang priests.

Oh . . . just a picture. :(
posted by Optimus Chyme at 12:24 PM on September 22, 2005

*signs up to become an altar boy*
posted by iconomy at 12:26 PM on September 22, 2005

Why the hell does he have clothes on? They said it was to recruit the kiddies, right?
posted by j.p. Hung at 12:27 PM on September 22, 2005

Oh well. At least it's not as bad as using video games to recruit soldiers!

This seemed unnecessary and doesn't make much sense. Have you played the game in question? It's good, it's free, it's fun, and most importantly the last time I played there was barely anything in the way of overt pressure to go out and join the army in it. Too be honest after seeing how easy it is to die I'd think more people would be turned off to the idea.
posted by Ryvar at 12:28 PM on September 22, 2005

Gays need not apply.

Why not? That poster boy is hawt! I'm sure this campaign will be a huge sucksess!
posted by WolfDaddy at 12:29 PM on September 22, 2005

Representing from Phillytown where they just loosed a list of 60-some pedos with dog collars, here's an alternate picture:

posted by Perigee at 12:34 PM on September 22, 2005

"Hey kids! Sign up now to join a great profession where you can't have sex, can't get married, and can't do any of the fun things that all the other people on earth do - but you get to hear them tell you stories about it every week in Confession! Don't forget the free wine and wafers!"

Somehow I think the Army is a lot more attractive. At least there you get really cool clothes, guns, and sometimes the freedom to party and fornicate and generally enjoy life.
posted by zoogleplex at 12:35 PM on September 22, 2005

Phillytown

Yeah ... kind of ironic, huh?

Remember when Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum blamed the priestly pedophile scandal on the "culture" in Boston?

'When the culture is sick, every element in it becomes infected. While it is no excuse for this scandal, it is no surprise that Boston, a seat of academic, political, and cultural liberalism in America, lies at the center of the storm."

Well, Ricky, now that it looks like the pedophile scandal in Philly might be even bigger than Boston's, what's it say about the values of Pennsylvania?
posted by ericb at 12:42 PM on September 22, 2005

Zoogleplex -- don't forget the scotch! At least this is what I've been told about our fine local Jesuit educators by my boyfriend, who got to hang out with them for four years, and ended up AOG (agnostic on graduation)!
posted by bitter-girl.com at 12:43 PM on September 22, 2005

Deliberate indoctrination of vulnerable children using misleading images.

Why doesn't it surprise me that Christians are involved?
posted by cleardawn at 12:48 PM on September 22, 2005

Oh well. At least it's not as bad as using video games to recruit soldiers!

Let's see... the video game -- while not representing the entire reality of being a soldier -- does in fact simulate some of the aspects of training and combat and introduces potential recruits for some of what they could expect should they sign up.

The priest poster prepares potential recruits for what exactly? Swallowing a big freakin' lie?

Oh wait...
posted by mazola at 12:48 PM on September 22, 2005

Knowing Santorum, ericb, he'd most likely say that they all snuck in from Boston anyway. Or were fine until some Beantowner sent them unsolicited copies of "Little Bobby's Deep Communion." (He's not one of the sharpest knives in the conservative drawer, and that's saying a lot right there.)
posted by Perigee at 12:50 PM on September 22, 2005

Come on, folks, there's plenty here to mock other than the RCC's less than savory practices. Can we get a little focus here?

The poster's just... terrible. But I can't decide if it isn't brilliant marketing...
posted by mkultra at 12:51 PM on September 22, 2005

eric b and Perigree, did you catch what the archdiocese laywer said? He said this was nothing but a "witch hunt". And yeah, I can't wait to hear what Senator Sanctimonious will have to say - likely nothing.

on preview - the sunglasses are just killing me. All he needs is a smoke dangling from his mouth for just a bit more street cred.
posted by j.p. Hung at 12:54 PM on September 22, 2005

Scotch and smokes, j.p. Scotch and smokes. If they're good enough for the Jesuits, it's good enough for Priest Neo.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 12:56 PM on September 22, 2005

I just fear Scotch and smokes are too sophisticated for today's youth. Maybe a 40 and a strap attached to his cross, so he can hold it like an A-K.
posted by j.p. Hung at 12:58 PM on September 22, 2005

Ryvar writes "Too be honest after seeing how easy it is to die I'd think more people would be turned off to the idea."

I played America's Army a bit when it came out, and I have to second that. While it was, no doubt, meant as a recruiting tool, it seems to match pretty much every anti-war novel or movie I've ever seen, in that death is usually not heroic or even exiting, but instead tends to come in the form of "Ok, let me see, I need to walk over there, and then---whatthefuck?! I've been shot?! I'm fucking dead! I didn't even see who shot me, I was just here and now I'm dead! This sucks!"

Especially with all the press the Army gave it for being realistic, it seems that the image it imparts is "in the real Army, you don't die during heroic raids while dodging enemy bullets. Instead, you're just walking along and then before you know it, bang, you're fucking dead, and now you don't get to do shit."
posted by bugbread at 12:59 PM on September 22, 2005

I think this might fall under the "so bad, it's good" category..
posted by huskerdont at 1:01 PM on September 22, 2005

Gayest. Poster. Ever. (Not that there's anything wrong with that!)
posted by JeffK at 1:02 PM on September 22, 2005

ericb,

I hadn't heard about the scandal in Philly...but I am living in Boston and would love to hear what Lil' Ricky "Man On Dog" Santorum has to say about this.

Jesus H.
posted by mr.curmudgeon at 1:02 PM on September 22, 2005

Bigger image inside this PDF:

http://www.dioceseofgallup.org/vosw/july05/24.pdf
posted by de void at 1:02 PM on September 22, 2005

cleardawn writes "Why doesn't it surprise me that Christians are involved?"

Because you've got a big chip on your shoulder that blocks your view when agnostics, atheists, deists, Buddhists, and pretty much everyone else also deliberately indoctrinates kids with misleading images?

I'm not defending the priests or Christianity. I'm just pointing out that "being an asshole" is a pretty universal human trait, so I'd hope that you wouldn't be surprised by anyone else doing the same, and that your comment was just poorly phrased.
posted by bugbread at 1:03 PM on September 22, 2005

Ryvar, you don't find putting games on an Army recruitment site pandering at all? If you want to capture the imagination of the pre-18 crowd, shouldn't you make it a point to emphasize the other good things that might come about as a result of your joining the military? Not just "hey, gee, look, game, fun!"

There's nothing fun about dying, and you die a LOT because the weapons are reasonably accurately modeled in terms of lethality, etc. It sort of drives a point home. The game may be fun, but the actual experience of what they'd ultimately like you to do can suck. A lot. Even your average 15-year-old McShithead is going to make that connection. It's only reinforced every five minutes of game time.

And, as mazola said, in order to unlock certain types of roles (medic, special operations, etc.) you have to go through some rather excruciatingly boring training. Likewise, before you go into the actual shooting-and-killing 'fun' portion of the game, you have to go through a fair amount of rather lame MILES training (basically lasertag). It's a game, it's fun, but it's pretty upfront and honest about the Army not being all fun and games.

If we're to believe people join for greater economic opportunity, etc, what's the point of having that there? It always seemed a little incongruous to me, in the same way that pointing out the "cool factor" of being a priest is not exactly telling the whole story...

The point is to raise awareness. It's advertising, but I think if you played the game you'd be surprised at how little actual pandering goes on. There is a cool factor but the game makes an attempt to be honest. The drill sergeants are dickheads.

Also, I'd dispute that the whole reason is greater economic opportunity - there's also patriotic pride, a sense of familial obligation, and being an immature sociopathic asshole.
posted by Ryvar at 1:03 PM on September 22, 2005

I think the subtext should be: Buggery, God says its okay so get over here and pull your pants down.
posted by fenriq at 1:04 PM on September 22, 2005

Hmm, actually I'd like to amend that subtext to: Buggery, God says its okay so get over here and pull your pants down. But let's keep this between us, okay?
posted by fenriq at 1:05 PM on September 22, 2005

The Catholic Church has a long and storied history of great marketing. Tracing the brilliant use of icons or symbolic reference in art by the church is a fantastic study.

While working on a thesis on the topic many years ago, I could picture the Vatican as some high level ad agency shooting around ideas over a gold-inlayed table.:

"Ok, Bobby...there is a resurgence in Greek Philosophy- what can we do to appeal to this demo?" "I got it! God, the father figure, now will appear as a bearded figure. Jesus will get Greek sandals and a long beard!" "Brilliant!!!11" Call in the artists!"

This move is not shocking in any way, though, they are usually quicker to adapt such things.
posted by mrblondemang at 1:07 PM on September 22, 2005

The Cathlix 2: Altar Boy Reloaded
posted by Darkman at 1:10 PM on September 22, 2005

Vaya... con Dios!

Peggy Hill would just love this poster.
posted by MsMolly at 1:11 PM on September 22, 2005

Priestly Shades^TM -- made exclusively for the Holy See^TM and his priests by Revo. Free to young (straight) men who sign-up for a lifetime commitment to Jesus Christ^TM.
posted by ericb at 1:13 PM on September 22, 2005

Looking it over, I'm all confuslated: The poster says "The Catholic Priesthood", but below it it says
"TRINITY PICTURES PRESENTS THE CATHOLIC CHURCH raysmj A PRODUCTION OF THE FATHER AND THE SON AND THE HOLY SPIRIT"

So which is it, "The Catholic Priesthood" or "The Catholic Church"?
posted by bugbread at 1:13 PM on September 22, 2005

I think I love you, fenriq.

I'm still not so sure, Ryvar. It's good that the game is realistic, but I really don't think the "average 15-year-old McShithead" (great description, by the way -- describes my friend's brother who got shipped off to the Navy at 16 by his parents) is going to play long enough to make the connection. They're going to think "This game sucks, let's play Tony Hawk instead!" (Or whatever the coolio game of the moment is).

By the way, my first thoughts after seeing this poster involved a total babe from my boyfriend's high school who was actually planning to become a priest... We shall refer to him here as Oh, What A Waste!, because sending someone that hot into the priesthood would truly have been.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 1:14 PM on September 22, 2005

How did "raysmj" get in there? Damned goofy copy-and-pasting!
posted by bugbread at 1:15 PM on September 22, 2005

This is almost as strange as the time I saw a Christian rock band sing the lyrics "I Love Jesus" to Ted Nugent's "Cat Scratch Fever".
posted by PaulWilliams at 1:15 PM on September 22, 2005

because sending someone that hot into the priesthood would truly have been

Well, maybe not so much a waste to other pretty-boy priests!
posted by ericb at 1:16 PM on September 22, 2005

Ok, ok, ericb, I'm just SELFISH! Either that or extremely altruistic, wanting my hetero sisters to share in the glory of OWAW!, since I already have a babe of my own.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 1:21 PM on September 22, 2005

Gays need not apply.

Well if that's the intent, they're not really broadcasting that message very clearly with this poster.

"Oh what a big crucifix you have, father... "
posted by funambulist at 1:21 PM on September 22, 2005

Hmmm. Seems familiar.
posted by washburn at 1:24 PM on September 22, 2005

Kinda ironic that they use imagry from a movie that was basically a love song to Gnosticism to promote Catholicism.
posted by shawnj at 1:24 PM on September 22, 2005

So if I join up, will I get to fight agents?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:31 PM on September 22, 2005

"If we can get priests to hang a picture of a kid in their room, we've done something..."

I can't believe no one else did this before I got here.
posted by mikeh at 1:31 PM on September 22, 2005

Because you've got a big chip on your shoulder that blocks your view when agnostics, atheists, deists, Buddhists, and pretty much everyone else also deliberately indoctrinates kids with misleading images?

As soon as you get your hands on some indoctrinating marketing images from those 'deliberate' Buddhists, please be sure and post here, 'mmkay?

There's no chip on anyone's shoulder that's not there for a good reason. Christians shove their religion down society's throats more than any other denomination. Thanks for playing.
posted by NationalKato at 1:35 PM on September 22, 2005

I guess this replaces the 1997 campaign, "Priests: The Original Men in Black."
posted by PlusDistance at 1:35 PM on September 22, 2005

I guess this replaces the 1997 campaign, "Priests: The Original Men in Black."

And before that: "Vatican II: Electric Boogaloo"
posted by mazola at 1:38 PM on September 22, 2005

The alternatives they scrapped:

posted by funambulist at 1:41 PM on September 22, 2005

NationalKato writes "As soon as you get your hands on some indoctrinating marketing images from those 'deliberate' Buddhists, please be sure and post here, 'mmkay? "

That's the cover of one of the Aum Shinrikyo comics.

I'm having a harder time trying to track down one of the more mainstream Soka Gakkai comic books, because they're much stricter about copyrights, being the prime force between one of the bigger political parties in Japan and therefore much more powerful when it comes to making sure their stuff isn't distributed online (Japan doesn't have as much freedom in "fair use" as the US)
posted by bugbread at 2:02 PM on September 22, 2005

WTF? What up with Dalai-Lama-san there on the cover? Oh, is that weird...

Christians still have the market cornered on creepy religious comics, though. Let us not forget the one and only Jack Chick.

(Don't go to JackChick.com, btw -- it just leads to porn)
posted by bitter-girl.com at 2:09 PM on September 22, 2005

Ah, I feel so dumb to have forgotten the obvious:

Buddha, by Osamu Tezuka (usually considered the grandfather of all Japanese comics). Widely held to be a pretty good comic. Published in "Comic Tom", a comic book collection published by Soka Gakkai, one of the bigger Buddhist groups in Japan.
posted by bugbread at 2:13 PM on September 22, 2005

bitter-girl.com writes "WTF? What up with Dalai-Lama-san there on the cover? Oh, is that weird..."

Oh, man, you don't know the half. I saw one of their cartoons in my class on Japanese modern religions. Fucking awesome (in the Battleship Earth way). Had us all cracking up at this little unknown goofball religious group.

Then a few months later they poison gassed the subway system. We didn't think of them as such lighthearted goofballs after that.
posted by bugbread at 2:15 PM on September 22, 2005

NationalKato writes "Christians shove their religion down society's throats more than any other denomination."

I'd suspect that Islam might be a bit higher up on that ladder. Regardless, neither Islam nor Christianity (nor Buddhism nor Zoroastrianism) are denominations. They're religions. And, further, regardless, the question wasn't whether Christians shove their religion down society's throats more than other religions. It was whether it was unsurprising to see Christians try to indoctrinate kids, while it would be surprising to see other religions. Saying Christians do it more, therefore other people don't, is like saying a direct nuclear blast is fatal, therefore being shot in the head with a shotgun isn't.

And you're welcome for me playing.
posted by bugbread at 2:22 PM on September 22, 2005

Wow! That's fantastic, for so many reasons! Where can I get that in poster size?

Now I'm really going to be able to creep out strangers with my giant Catholic ass-kickin' Matrix poster.
posted by SweetJesus at 2:22 PM on September 22, 2005

"If we can get kids to hang a picture of a priest in their room, we've done something huge for vocations."

Because the priests already have pictures of little boys hanging in their rooms ...
posted by LilBucner at 2:24 PM on September 22, 2005

Metafilter: God says its okay so get over here and pull your pants down.
posted by LilBucner at 2:25 PM on September 22, 2005

Bugbread, true enough, lots of groups deliberately try to indoctrinate children, not just Christians. And I do seem to be attacking Christians a lot recently - not sure why. Maybe I do have a chip on my shoulder, as you suggested.

Or perhaps it's the new Pope - he does seem to be a bit silly, even compared to other people who claim to be the infallible representative of God on Earth.

To be fair, the Islamic teachers who get kids to wrap explosive belts round themselves and go stand near Israeli guard posts probably win the Gold Medal on child indoctrination. (And sixty-four virgins feeding them sweetmeats in the afterlife, too, for sure).

And the quasi-compulsory military conscription for 17-year-old Israelis isn't much better, either. Nor do the Aum Shinrikyo guys get much respect - though they're a long way from mainstream Buddhists, aren't they?

But this post was about Christians, so, hell, that's what I posted about. Sorry if I annoyed you!
posted by cleardawn at 2:26 PM on September 22, 2005

AHHAHAAHHAAHHA! Catholics fuck children! LOL!OMG!
posted by undule at 2:27 PM on September 22, 2005

Also, it's a more subtle point, but teaching kids about Buddhism isn't necessarily comparable to teaching them Catholic Christianity.

Some religions are all about blind faith - in other words, mindless obedience to authority - whereas others, such as most modern forms of Buddhism, are all about investigating and exploring spiritual questions, experiences, and techniques, to find your own answers.

Teaching kids about spirituality can be done in such a way that it's similar to teaching them about science. You just give them the tools and let them play. I'm sure that some Christians do that too - the Quakers come to mind - and certainly that's the approach most Buddhist programs would take to it.

Teaching kids to meditate, or explaining the reasoning behind Love Thy Neighbor As Thyself, isn't the same thing as teaching them that Catholic priests are cool, or that they're going to Hell if they're gay. Well, I don't think so, anyway - perhaps it's just the way I was indoctrinated...
posted by cleardawn at 2:38 PM on September 22, 2005

Cleardawn: Thanks for the reasoned response.

As I said, the issue isn't so much that I disagree with you that Christians indoctrinate kids, and I wasn't annoyed that you bitched about Christianity, but the subtext that other religions don't do that (and the additional subtext that while religious groups do it, nonreligious groups don't. Which is a long and tortured discussion, in my experience.) It looks like that's a misunderstanding that's been cleared up, so we're cool.

And, yeah, Aum is far from mainstream. Posting Aum is basically like posting Jack Chick or Branch Davidian stuff. That's why I was looking for some Soka Gakkai, as they're way the hell bigger. And it certainly doesn't help that my workplace webfilter is exceptionally well tuned to Japanese sites, which means that most religious sites are blocked as "occult". That's one thing you have to love about the Japanese: while most of them are groovy with the whole individual deist "I dunno what god is what, but I'm gonna pray to the god at this temple to pass my test" thing, the minute that anyone mentions being part of some organized religion, they're basically seen as being vaguely cultist. And someone actually going to a religious service?! Insanity!! I love seeing the reaction when I tell people "George Bush says he consults with God." They assume I'm joking, and when they realize that I'm serious, they look at me like I said "George Bush channels space aliens during press conferences."
posted by bugbread at 2:39 PM on September 22, 2005

Um, thanks for that contribution, Undule, child of Moloch. I guess you're one of the products of Christian indoctrination...

How is your yoga and meditation practice coming along, by the way?
posted by cleardawn at 2:42 PM on September 22, 2005

cleardawn writes "Some religions are all about blind faith - in other words, mindless obedience to authority - whereas others, such as most modern forms of Buddhism, are all about investigating and exploring spiritual questions, experiences, and techniques, to find your own answers. "

Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Like Neo would say, "whoa". Modern Buddhism in America, maybe, yeah, but don't get the impression that modern Buddhism is like that everywhere. Soka Gakkai, for example, is part of Nichiren, which basically means that as long as you put your faith in the Buddha and pray your fixed prayers, you get to go to Heaven, whereas if you don't, you get to go to hell. It's not the same as Christianity, by any means (no real prevalent Satan figure, etc.), but it is certainly about blind faith and not at all about investigating and exploring spiritual questions.

And overall, my experience with non-denominational (i.e. not Nichiren et al) Buddhists in Japan is that the religion consists of: praying to Buddha if you're about to get in a car wreck, making sure you get a priest to pray for you when you die, and not doing anything to piss of the gods, like pissing on Buddhist statues or having sex on the temple stairs.
posted by bugbread at 2:44 PM on September 22, 2005

Without checking... what's the odds that this is, right now, the subject of a Fark photoshop. (not the product, crazily)

praying to Buddha if you're about to get in a car wreck, making sure you get a priest to pray for you when you die...

Well hell, even being raised RC, I had to shake my head at all those Good Christians out there praying for things. I was taught that this is never an acceptable goal of prayer. ie: you never pray for anything.
posted by dreamsign at 2:47 PM on September 22, 2005

Friendly Feudalism: The Tibet Myth

All authentic traditions are inevitably corrupted.
posted by sonofsamiam at 2:48 PM on September 22, 2005

I wonder if the RCC powers that be understand that kids are likely to want this poster because they see it as a parody of The Matrix rather than as a sincere effort at generating interest in a priestly vocation.
posted by alumshubby at 3:26 PM on September 22, 2005

I guess you're one of the products of Christian indoctrination...

No, I just think comments about priests humping kidlets is like making jokes about airplane peanuts.
posted by undule at 3:35 PM on September 22, 2005

See, undule, the thing is that black people talk like this, and white people talk like that.
So, I saw Gigli the other day. What a shitty movie!
Michael Jackson fucks kids! ROFLCopter!
So, it says on IMDB that Keanu Reeves is an actor. Which is funny, because, like...he can't act!

Thank you folks, I'll be here all week.
posted by bugbread at 3:38 PM on September 22, 2005

See, undule, the thing is that black people talk like this, and white people talk like that

It's funny cuz it's true!
Yeah, it's been a slow week at work. Sorry if my red herrings gummed the works.
posted by undule at 3:44 PM on September 22, 2005

You guys would love Neil Hamburger.
posted by sonofsamiam at 3:56 PM on September 22, 2005

bitter-girl, thanks! I aim to please (just like Father Bangboy)!

I can't wait until someone asks me if my son's been baptized and I'll tell them we don't believe in allowing priests to bugger our children.
posted by fenriq at 4:13 PM on September 22, 2005

fenriq writes "I can't wait until someone asks me if my son's been baptized and I'll tell them we don't believe in allowing priests to bugger our children."

Dude, if you're in such a rush, I'll help you out:

Hey, fenriq, has your son been baptized?
posted by bugbread at 4:18 PM on September 22, 2005

When people starting marketing religion like they would a movie or any other product, they shouldn't be surprised if that's how people begin to treat it.
posted by Arch Stanton at 4:57 PM on September 22, 2005

At least you know they feel real guilty about it...

Being Catholic and all...

...you know...
posted by SweetJesus at 5:05 PM on September 22, 2005

bugbread, no buggery of my boy! You can bugger some bread, you can bread some bugger but don't bugger my boy!

Thanks, that felt good!
posted by fenriq at 5:12 PM on September 22, 2005

a Matrix-style poster

Because there's nothing cooler than a poster that references a six-year-old movie.
posted by kindall at 5:18 PM on September 22, 2005

Hey, fenriq, has your son been baptized?

"yes, right on the face ..."
posted by pyramid termite at 5:36 PM on September 22, 2005

Lessee. The Matrix... malevolent intelligence fools and blinkers humanity with a false "reality" so that it can exploit them.

That just seems so wrong for the Catholic church, doesn't it?
posted by Decani at 6:11 PM on September 22, 2005

I'm sure that other religions try to hook 'em while they're young and all, but do the non-Christian religions do it like a fifty year old middle school math teacher desperately trying to be hip to what the young folk are doing?

I'm talking about skateboarding Jesus T-shirts, a bible modeled after Teen People, "Got Jesus?" bumper stickers, and yes, this (hilarious) poster.
posted by kosher_jenny at 6:42 PM on September 22, 2005

kosher_jenny : "I'm sure that other religions try to hook 'em while they're young and all, but do the non-Christian religions do it like a fifty year old middle school math teacher desperately trying to be hip to what the young folk are doing?

I'm talking about skateboarding Jesus T-shirts, a bible modeled after Teen People, "Got Jesus?" bumper stickers, and yes, this (hilarious) poster."

Can't speak for all religions, but in my neck of the woods (Japanese Buddhism), I'd say "no". Comic books, but that's not trying to be hip, that's standard reading material format for little kids (think "books with illustrations" in America).

Though I have to say that my image of the skateboarding Jesus, teen bible, "Got Jesus?" bumper stickers, et al smack of "what Americans do" more than "what Christians do". That is, Japanese meat associations don't make hip homepages for girls to chat about boys, homework, and tasty tasty hamburgers either.

Well, OK, it does smack of what Christians do, to the extent that it smacks of what American Christians do. I can't really imagine the Catholic Church in Spain with skateboarding Jesii, WWJD t-shirts, or Matrix posters.
posted by bugbread at 7:59 PM on September 22, 2005

The truth is that I can't see this being hung in anyone's room except the room of someone who is already a seminarian. I mean, entertaining and all, but you don't see high school kids hanging posters in their room that say, "The Emergency Surgeons" or "The High School Teachers," do you?

A better strategy, IMHO, would be to use the same aesthetic but place it in a poster for an actual film featuring a Catholic priest (preferably one in which the priest was the protagonist). That would be a good marketing tool. The featured poster is just kind of out-of-context and lends itself to ironic appropriation.
posted by deanc at 8:17 PM on September 22, 2005

Lessee. The Matrix... malevolent intelligence fools and blinkers humanity with a false "reality" so that it can exploit them.

It could simply be long-overdue fifth-column style Cathar payback.
posted by undule at 8:30 PM on September 22, 2005

Keanu Priest vs. Linda Blair channeling SATAN !

Bets ?
posted by troutfishing at 8:31 PM on September 22, 2005

What's the big deal? I had posters of Priest all over my bedroom when I was a kid.
posted by mazola at 10:36 PM on September 22, 2005

Still nowhere as cool as famous rabbi trading cards.
posted by maxsparber at 11:52 PM on September 22, 2005

Well, OK, it does smack of what Christians do, to the extent that it smacks of what American Christians do. I can't really imagine the Catholic Church in Spain with skateboarding Jesii, WWJD t-shirts, or Matrix posters.

Exactamundo...
It just wouldn't be conceivable. For one thing, it would clash with hundreds-year old cathedrals and basilics, mosaics and frescoes, not to mention catacombs and ossuaries, bleeding statues and apparition sites. Catholicism in the old world is still pretty much an affair of gloomy grandiosity. And gadgets for tourists.
posted by funambulist at 6:35 AM on September 23, 2005

Did anyone else look at the image and see depressing body language? The first thing I noticed is that this guy's head is bowed and he's slumped to one side. It makes him look unhappy.

But then again, I grew up Catholic, so maybe (probably) I'm automatically biased against all Catholic recruitment images.
posted by fossil_human at 7:03 AM on September 23, 2005

kosher_jenny writes "I'm sure that other religions try to hook 'em while they're young and all, but do the non-Christian religions do it like a fifty year old middle school math teacher desperately trying to be hip to what the young folk are doing?"

maxsparber writes "Still nowhere as cool as famous rabbi trading cards."

Huh. Thanks for pointing me in the right direction, maxsparber. Looks like we can add Judaism to the list (though I think it's far more rare in American Judaism than in American Christianity. Still, it does exist.)
posted by bugbread at 7:18 AM on September 23, 2005

This priest looks like poker pro, Phil Hellmuth.

But then, I guess lots of priests are trying hard to conceal some of their more obvious tells, these days...

That hairstyle is a dead giveaway though.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:33 AM on September 23, 2005

... it seems to match pretty much every anti-war novel or movie I've ever seen, in that death is usually not heroic or even exiting, but instead tends to come in the form of "Ok, let me see, I need to walk over there, and then---whatthefuck?! I've been shot?! I'm fucking dead! I didn't even see who shot me, I was just here and now I'm dead! This sucks!"

Something like that was the rationale behind un-banning John Houston's wartime documentary The Battle of San Pietro, which was a frank and terrifying depiction of a typical battle for a typical hill town in the Italian campaign. Hundreds dead, bullets flying so thick you can see them tearing apart saplings, graphic treatment of men going into body bags... the Pentagon banned it as soon as it came back from the cutting room. But the general in charge of the Italian campaign (who was probably a drinking buddy of Houston's) raised cain all the way up the chain, on the rationale that it would help troops to prepare for teh shock of combat.

That said...

Ryvar: Even your average 15-year-old McShithead is going to make that connection. It's only reinforced every five minutes of game time.

Actually: No. Probably not. This is a game, after all, and you do get to restart and play again, after all, and nobody (to my knowledge) has yet demonstrated that conditioning by reinforcement doesn't work, after all, and (finally) we're talking about teenagers, after all. I remember what it was like to be one: I thought I knew EVERYTHING. I thought I "got" EVERYTHING. And to tell the truth, I haven't changed my mind about much that matters -- except the part about knowing everything. I knew jack shit.

I live with a 15 year old boy, now. He's just like I was. He thinks he knows exactly how he'll think about everything at any given point in his future. He may be right. But he's definitely wrong.
posted by lodurr at 7:44 AM on September 23, 2005

Jesus H
posted by mr.curmudgeon at 3:02 PM CST on September 22

Ha, I know it's far late to make a post, but I'd just like to say I really like the ring of that.
posted by Peter H at 3:32 PM on October 10, 2005

..... you mean, this isn't actually a joke?

/late to the party
posted by Space Kitty at 9:16 PM on October 10, 2005

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Does Neo wear a funny hat? Does Trinity...oh, never mind September 22, 2005 12:20 PM Subscribe

Does Neo wear a funny hat? Does Trinity...oh, never mind
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