The Totally Fabulous Guide to Intelligent Design

September 25, 2005 10:26 AM

And the Lord God said, “Let there be light,” and lo, there was light. But then the Lord God said, “Wait, what if I make it a sort of rosy, sunset-at-the-beach, filtered half-light, so that everything else I design will look younger?" Another take on intelligent design.
posted by Armitage Shanks (22 comments total)

Loved it, sweetie. Absolutely loved it!
posted by dash_slot- at 10:47 AM on September 25, 2005

most of the religious people in the world would never go for this because it implies that there is more than one god....gasp. we cant have inteligent design meaning that just any inteligent designer made us, can we?
posted by stilgar at 10:49 AM on September 25, 2005

I kinda thought we were in the user-testing stage of an early beta. When we die we answer a few questions, get 1/4 of a sandwich, and handed an envelope with 100 dollars in it.
"Just remember, we're not testing you, we're testing existence."
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 10:50 AM on September 25, 2005

awesome. those new yorkers are such iconoclasts. it's like they're the new amsterdam or something!
posted by muppetboy at 10:58 AM on September 25, 2005

That was awsome..thanks!

stilgar - There's nothing that explicitly says there is only one god.

"thou shalt have no Gods before Me" has always seemed to say "sure, there are other gods, but I'm numero uno and you better keep it that way".
posted by zerokey at 11:03 AM on September 25, 2005

zerokey, Sun gods are always jealous like that. Yes, the christian god did start out as somebody sun god, way back.
posted by jeffburdges at 11:10 AM on September 25, 2005

Not really a "sun god", but check out Mithra
posted by RichAromas at 11:21 AM on September 25, 2005

Mithras?
posted by hototogisu at 11:24 AM on September 25, 2005

"And everyone looked upon the man that the Lord God designed.

...

“Does it stack?” inquired Allah."

OK, that's pretty good.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:58 AM on September 25, 2005

There were a lot of great moments in that. My favorite:

“Rain forests here,” decreed the Lord God. “And deserts there. For a spa feeling.”

“Which is fresh, but let’s give it glow,” said Buddha. “Polished stones and bamboo, with a soothing trickle of something.”

“I know where you’re going,” said the Lord God. “But why am I seeing scented candles and a signature body wash?”

“Shut up,” said Buddha.

“You shut up,” said the Lord God.
posted by shmegegge at 12:06 PM on September 25, 2005

Queer eye for the Omnipotent Guy.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:24 PM on September 25, 2005

Deity Design on a Dime.
posted by kenlayne at 12:35 PM on September 25, 2005

weapons-grade: LOL
posted by muppetboy at 12:41 PM on September 25, 2005

"those new yorkers are such iconoclasts. it's like they're the new amsterdam or something!"

That's almost as good as the article.
posted by Mcable at 1:00 PM on September 25, 2005

“And what if I made you a booming offscreen voice in a lot of bad movies?” asked Aphrodite.

You go, girl!
posted by deborah at 1:02 PM on September 25, 2005

Rudnick rules! : >

“It’s all about the mix,” Allah declared in a calming voice. “Now let’s look at some swatches.”
posted by amberglow at 1:27 PM on September 25, 2005

Allah rocks!

My favorite was: “Does it stack?” inquired Allah."

Good find, I loved it!
posted by ashbury at 1:49 PM on September 25, 2005

Nice link. December 25th was appropriated from a religious festival for Phoebus Apollo, just to be pedantic.

/preview: Richaromas beat me to it, sort of.
posted by bardic at 6:44 PM on September 25, 2005

that was awesome...but really, a creationist commentary on the internet WITHOUT the flying spaghetti monster?
posted by NGnerd at 9:25 PM on September 25, 2005

Oh, har har.
posted by Down10 at 11:32 PM on September 25, 2005

“Just to make everyone happy,” said the Lord God, “today I’m thinking oceans, for contrast.”

“It’s wet, it’s deep, yet it’s frothy; it’s design without dogma,” said Buddha, approvingly.

“Now, there’s movement,” agreed Allah. “It’s not just ‘Hi, I’m a planet—no splashing.’ ”

This is when I started to giggle. But it makes a great point-- if there is an Intelligent Designer then what does the design say about him/her/it? "I'm just having fun here" or maybe "There really is a point to all this" or "This is the best I could do-- I just need a bit more experience"?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 8:39 AM on September 26, 2005

It's your fantasy.
posted by gorgor_balabala at 4:46 PM on October 24, 2005