dating advice for men from women

September 25, 2005 5:29 PM

ScoreHer.com- Dating advice for men from women. With a name like that how can you not prick up your ears? With promises like: "I'll post an article in the next few weeks on how to convert a friendship on fourth down and make it to her end zone," how can you not bookmark it? And with features like Women Only Want Tall Men vs. Men Only Want Big Boobs, a "what she says/what she means" Chicktionary, and 5 Cardinal Rules for Internet Dating, how can the men and women of MeFi not immediately turn this thread into 101 separate flamewars about romance, love, dating & genitalia? Here's a momentary distraction to divert the guys' attention long enough for the women to take the high ground: on the off-chance that it's not just link spam, squadmember Jennifer P., 29, is tall, blonde, smart, turned on by guys in briefs, and looking.
posted by scarabic (51 comments total)

on the off-chance that it's not just link spam, squadmember Jennifer P., 29, is tall, blonde, smart, turned on by guys in briefs, and looking.

<sub>I never write about specific personal experiences, so no worries. But you might pick up a few ideas about what I like.

-Jennifer

* no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests</sub>

Heh.
posted by delmoi at 5:37 PM on September 25, 2005

The point/counterpoint about bigboobs/tall men reads like it was written by 9th graders.


IMO, short guys have it made. Shorter girls tends to have the most 'model perportion' bodies, while taller girls are more likely to thicker, which is needed to support their bodies. I think it's weird to date someone much shorter then I am.

OTOH, if I was short I'd probably want to drive an SUV or something, yech.
posted by delmoi at 5:41 PM on September 25, 2005

... and that somehow means that this isn't a cheap shot at free advertising for a website written by a couple of ex computer science students copying and pasting a bunch of relationship lists from the intarweb.

Wasn't this that 'in sites' link from about three months ago?
posted by bhance at 5:43 PM on September 25, 2005

Yeah. Right.
posted by Colloquial Collision at 5:56 PM on September 25, 2005

Shorter girls tends to have the most 'model perportion' bodies

Hence all the short models =)

Interesting theory ya got there. In my experiences tall girls (5-10 5-11 etc) are pretty thin with 'model perportion'.
posted by justgary at 6:04 PM on September 25, 2005

I took some time looking around the site, pretty crappy...i was actually turned off from the whole idea of dating anyone just from reading this drivel.
posted by stilgar at 6:15 PM on September 25, 2005

Interesting theory ya got there. In my experiences tall girls (5-10 5-11 etc) are pretty thin with 'model perportion'.

Models are required to be tall, so of course most skinny models are also tall, that has no baring on the number of skinny short girls when compared to the number of skinny tall chicks.
posted by delmoi at 6:17 PM on September 25, 2005

I'm with you stilgar, this site made me want to be a monk. The beer and textual studying kind, not the quiet kind.
posted by allen.spaulding at 6:21 PM on September 25, 2005

This site is fucking lame.

Makes me want to live in a cave and wank by myself for eternity.

Stupid chicks, stupid site.
posted by spincycle at 6:25 PM on September 25, 2005

What women really like is when you slap them in the face with your cock. I saw it in some pornography once, so I assume it's universal.
posted by klangklangston at 6:27 PM on September 25, 2005

It's absolutely true that women prefer tall men. I'm only 5'8" and still a virgin at the age of 46. That can only be down to my height.
posted by Decani at 6:33 PM on September 25, 2005

Obviously a shameless plug. As was previously mentioned the website articles are very basic. I'd really like to think that any girl I'm after would put up a little more complex fight (if they mean to) than that. Intelligence is hot. Ciao.
posted by Chris_awesome at 6:36 PM on September 25, 2005

Actually, maybe not. Maybe it's because I really despise women who can seriously say that they expect their men to:

1. Fix my car. Change oil. Change tires, Fill-up on gas.
2. Move furniture. Carry groceries. Take on other heavy items.
3. Deal with spiders, bugs and other nasty small living shit.
4. Fix computer and other electronics. Set up/install or download software.
5. Fix clogs in my sink, toilet or shower.


Do it yourself, you useless, needy cow. And stop pissing on the feminism far better women than you displayed.
posted by Decani at 6:37 PM on September 25, 2005

"3. Deal with...other nasty small living shit."

Like all those short men?
posted by mullacc at 6:46 PM on September 25, 2005

Decani writes "Maybe it's because I really despise women who can seriously say that they expect their men to..."

Actually they expect the chumps to do all these things, while they go off and bang someone who plays guitar in a band.

/obvious
posted by clevershark at 6:50 PM on September 25, 2005

admit it, hance: you wrote those lists and you're just angry they didn't give you credit.

thank you, scarabic. i'm digging through the get-play-book; it's chock-full of good technique. i can't wait to try out "the sweet move." just have to wait til she's in the hospital....or there's always the "car trouble?" one.
posted by carsonb at 6:53 PM on September 25, 2005

Actually they expect the chumps to do all these things, while they go off and bang someone who plays guitar in a band.

LOL.
posted by delmoi at 6:53 PM on September 25, 2005

scarabic, was your account hijacked?
posted by shoepal at 6:55 PM on September 25, 2005

As a woman, I'd just like to say this site does not represent me. Or plenty of women I know.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:58 PM on September 25, 2005 [1 favorite has favorites]

Ditto ThePink, with the qualifier 'none of the women i know' . aaaaaaand.... ditto shoepal's question.

That list of questions... should i now start calling my bf a "needy cow", because he does other stuff that is just as important, and I routinely take care of the type of tasks on that list?
posted by reflecked at 7:08 PM on September 25, 2005

that qualifier was supposed to say: "me.. or any of the women i know".
posted by reflecked at 7:09 PM on September 25, 2005

The ScoreHer Squad is a group of very sexy... ladies

Who apparently don't have the guts to post pictures.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:14 PM on September 25, 2005 [1 favorite has favorites]

Only if he's bitchy about requiring your help to do it. Then yeah, it works.
posted by hototogisu at 7:15 PM on September 25, 2005

perhaps it's some sort of Random Dating Advice Generator. if one of those hasn't been written yet, I bet i could put something together better than this one.
posted by spiderwire at 7:20 PM on September 25, 2005

The thing that surprised me was how unsuprised I was by most the the things written on the site. I mean, not that I was expecting an in depth analysis, but I was able to completely nail every entry in their Chicktionary while I was waiting for each entry to load. I've gotten much more surprising (and helpful) answers from talking to real live females.
posted by 23skidoo at 7:31 PM on September 25, 2005

This site was clearly not written by women. However, the men who wrote clearly did a bit of research / thinking / thoughtful cutting and pasting. Overall results: uneven.

The "Five Cardinal Rules" list actually made sense, and is advice I would pass on to a guy I knew who was looking for a LTR online. On the other hand, the Why do women like assholes? piece was grossly wrong-headed. (The correct answer to that one, of course, is a two-parter: "get out denial about your looks, and what makes you think that being a geek makes you nice?")
posted by MattD at 7:34 PM on September 25, 2005

scarabic, was your account hijacked?

Apparently, yes, by me in a moment when I found it funny. Lighten up, Francis(es)! :D
posted by scarabic at 7:48 PM on September 25, 2005

If women loved assholes I'd be fucking Hugh Hefner!
posted by geoff. at 8:22 PM on September 25, 2005

Actually that came out wrong. I'd be LIKE Hugh Hefner, not exactly fucking him. Girls, like guys, put a high premium on looks which is why the tall thing gets a lot of play. Besides dating is so pre-Modern, we have drugs that can imitate any aspect of dating. From the initial crush, to the dope happy honeymoon period, to the feeling of contentment to the anguish. Why we aren't kept on a 16-month rotation of drugs is beyond me.
posted by geoff. at 8:26 PM on September 25, 2005

Has anyone ever considered that guys who don't get girls naturally think that all who do are assholes? "Sour grapes" is a simple interpretation but I've never seen it applied.
posted by scarabic at 8:41 PM on September 25, 2005

IMHO, "getting" girls (ie: being able to get a date with one) is mostly about "getting" girls (ie: trying to understand them, listening to them, having experience being close to them, not being a Terminal Dude).
posted by scarabic at 8:44 PM on September 25, 2005

to the man gettin' none, all the men with a nice serial monogamy resume are assholes while all the cute girls who wanted them as a friend while they fucked their friend is a slut.

/right now, you're all assholes and sluts until I get laid
//particularly bitter, not one but 2 girls that I started to fall for fucked an acquaintance in my own bed at a party I threw
///cock-blocking is sometimes appropriate
posted by Lectrick at 9:37 PM on September 25, 2005

Above all, any actions ... will be greatly rewarded. Here are some key areas where you can lend a helping hand:

1. Fix my car. Change oil. Change tires, Fill-up on gas.
2. Move furniture. Carry groceries. Take on other heavy items.
3. Deal with spiders, bugs and other nasty small living shit.
4. Fix computer and other electronics. Set up/install or download software.
5. Fix clogs in my sink, toilet or shower.

You have to ask yourself if it's worth it, though.
posted by dg at 9:59 PM on September 25, 2005

It's useless to ask women or men what attracts them. Most people don't know.

You get answers such as "sense of humor" which only means that they remember they had a good time laughing with the person. But usually that's because they liked them already, for other reasons.

If you want to know what people are attracted to, look at what they do. Ignore what they say.
posted by brevity at 11:01 PM on September 25, 2005

I don't have time for sex.... But a talking frog is pretty neat.
posted by muppetboy at 11:14 PM on September 25, 2005

I do #s 1, 2, 4, and 5 just out of habit. I like doing them. I would probably jump at the chance to beat someone else to them because I enjoy them. I guess this makes me a stud.

But as far as #3 goes: I don't like spiders. You better be okay with me killing them because I sure as hell am not going to capture and release. Ideally, you are an animal rights freak who does not discriminate against insects/arachnids, and will capture and release them yourself so as to prevent my killing them. I dated someone like that once and that worked very well for me. Except for those extended cup/paper captures that took forever and involved several drop-the-spider-onto-the-bed mishaps. Did I say "stud?" I meant "sissyboy."
posted by scarabic at 12:48 AM on September 26, 2005

Women don't know shit about "scoring" women, even if said women is themselves. To "score" a girlfriend, you should listen to more modern advice, which is basically "learn how to fake being the rich smart ambitious/agressive/aloof alpha male asshole." You start listening to women when you have one you actually want to keep.

Her advice about the friend-zone is useless. Your best bet is to start treating her like dirt (but in that nice way) and dating all her friends. Your chances might edge up into that 30% zone if you do that, but your almost always better off just forgetting about her completely.

Oh, never give a woman you want to date anything valuble. Yes, sure, spend lots of money on her, but make it transient valueless stuff like dinner, etc. which you fully enjoy too. Yes, their is very good real psychology research which backs this up.
posted by jeffburdges at 2:32 AM on September 26, 2005

I would like to note that while I may not know shit about scoring women, I do know that it does not generally involve putting *on* your pants. Just wanted to make sure that one was clear.

And to all of the jeffburdges out there, please remember this sage advice: we don't want the world, we just want your half. ;)
posted by Frisbee Girl at 3:21 AM on September 26, 2005

Sorry Frisbee Girl, people studdy this stuff for a living, objectively. Sure, I've "summarized" what little I know of it as unpleasently as possible, but it is quite simply a night & day diffrence. Males get very little playing by idealstic rules, but the moment they consiously descide to be less nice (in the right sort of way), they do wonderfully with women. No, I don't have anything nice to say about male dating habits either. :)
posted by jeffburdges at 4:29 AM on September 26, 2005

To "score" a girlfriend, you should listen to more modern advice, which is basically "learn how to fake being the rich smart ambitious/agressive/aloof alpha male asshole."

I think you're confused. The Secret of My Success was a movie starring Michael J. Fox, not a peer-reviewed journal article.
posted by papercake at 5:52 AM on September 26, 2005

Has anyone ever considered that guys who don't get girls naturally think that all who do are assholes? "Sour grapes" is a simple interpretation but I've never seen it applied.

Meh. Replace "asshole" with "good looking guy who talks down to her, puts down her friends, cheats on her and is generally abusive". Girl says she wants nice guy. Goes out with guy I just described. Rinse and repeat. A half dozen times. Best to just set your sights on someone who knows better.

The heuristics of valuation have been studied half to death in social psych. Just like the salesman who ensures that you know a deal is for a limited time only, what looks like valuable human capital is often treated as such. Arrogance advertises "I don't need you" and that attracts. No big mystery. It also plays into gender roles. A particular guy could also be an asshole because he's sought by the opposite sex, perhaps for looks, so he's vain or takes the attention for granted. Lots of possibilities.

The regularity of that pattern, though, seems to decrease with age. It seemed de rigeur in high school, whereas I see few 30 year-old women chasing assholes, at least with as much optimism. Hard for me to say, though. My social circle is much smaller these days.
posted by dreamsign at 6:01 AM on September 26, 2005 [1 favorite has favorites]

If you want to know what people are attracted to, look at what they do. Ignore what they say.
posted by brevity at 2:01 AM EST on September 26 [!]

Good advice and true for a lot of things beside dating. People can talk some shit (see popular weblog with blue background) and don't always mean what they say.
posted by monkeyman at 8:34 AM on September 26, 2005

Hmm the site is registered to a "Daniel" which is not exactly a woman's name. But maybe he's just the girls' daddy/manager/handyman?

The 5-point fix things list reminds me of this series of ads.
posted by funambulist at 8:52 AM on September 26, 2005

Yes, dreamsign is right, the trend to date the "asshole" does decline with age, just as it does in other mammals. There are numerous other plausible genetic reasons why a female would be less choosy as she got older. One could design an experiment to determine the relative impacts of age vs. number of past partners vs. competition on the choosiness of female rats, or ideally something with more male childcare. Could be interesting.
posted by jeffburdges at 9:21 AM on September 26, 2005

Yeah, it could be so interesting. Female rats and female humans have so much in common in terms of social behaviour, it's a wonder no one has thought about that before. Or maybe we could design a permanent experiment where all evo-psychology experts are replaced with lab rats. That would be even more interesting.
posted by funambulist at 9:45 AM on September 26, 2005

jeffburdges - you need to post a link to a study or shut up quick
posted by scarabic at 10:46 AM on September 26, 2005

jeffburdges: There are numerous other plausible genetic reasons why a female would be less choosy as she got older.

See, that strikes me as getting MORE choosy -- getting fed up with assholes. But, then, I'm a terminal Nice Guy...
posted by LordSludge at 12:49 PM on September 26, 2005

"Actually they expect the chumps to do all these things, while they go off and bang someone who plays guitar in a band."

I was the guy in the band. This is correct quite often.

Sorry you guys, if any of them was your girlfriend. They all told me you two were "just friends."
posted by zoogleplex at 3:13 PM on September 26, 2005

What scarabic said.

jeffburdges is annoying the hell out of me.
posted by Specklet at 3:25 PM on September 26, 2005

Here is cool one backing up the valuless gift suggestion, which I expect annoyed many people. Here are a number of interesting articles, including one about musicians being more sexy (many of the journals article are related). Here is a cute one about forgetting to use birth control. I've seen some nice stuf on females being more likely to cheat while ovulating too. Here, here, here are cute ones about men and couples. Oh, it seems only women actually care if their mate is humorous. Lastly we have some dating advice.
posted by jeffburdges at 9:05 PM on September 27, 2005 [1 favorite has favorites]

Ah, the "Journal of evolutionary psychology", worldwide acclaimed source of scientific facts and procedures: For example, in the present study, there is evidence that women often "forgot" to use birth control during ovulation. I believe this is an unconscious motivation to get pregnant, and thus continue the human race...

As Mr Goldacre put it, "I’ll start believing evolutionary psychologists on the day they start defecating in the back garden at dinner parties like the monkeys they extrapolate from".
posted by funambulist at 12:25 AM on September 28, 2005