Zod for President

October 7, 2005 11:38 AM

Vote for Your Ruler: "Instead of hidden agendas and waffling policies, I offer you direct candor and brutal certainty."
posted by alms (27 comments total)

I’ve been searching my whole life for a politician like you that will punish, dominate and degrade me, just like the adults from my childhood. I need an authority figure to further my sense of shame and dependency.
Will there be sexual repression as a result of your rule? We need a ruler that will force people to deny their own innate sex instinct, thereby becoming anal-retentive, orally fixated, and immersed in guilt. Wanton cruelty from an authority figure is a step in the right direction, but I believe that through sexual repression, we can dramatically increase the selfishness, anger, anxiety, depression, self-doubt and narcissistic viciousness between people. We need your strong leadership to further our own self-hatred.

What more can one ask for in a ruler?
posted by leftcoastbob at 11:43 AM on October 7, 2005

Perhaps Christopher Walken can be VP.
posted by fungible at 11:58 AM on October 7, 2005

Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.
posted by keswick at 12:10 PM on October 7, 2005

I voted Pappoon for President. He's not insane.
posted by paddbear at 12:28 PM on October 7, 2005

The Iraq War has shifted $187 billion to the defense industry. How is this "defense industry" to kneel before me? Are my praises to be sung as footnotes in their paperwork? You will stop giving these corporations your wealth. I suggest you put the money into your own schools and health care, so that I may have intelligent, healthy servants.

Zod's a lefty. Whooda thunk?
posted by Hobbacocka at 12:37 PM on October 7, 2005

If Zod wins, will Lex Luthor be ruler of Australia?
posted by WolfDaddy at 12:37 PM on October 7, 2005

RTFA wolfdaddy. 1/2 way down.
posted by joecacti at 12:55 PM on October 7, 2005

Candor? What a concept.
posted by Cranberry at 1:05 PM on October 7, 2005

Child, let me explain something quite important to you. Under my new order, I allow you to live. In return for your obedience, you enjoy my generous protection. I expect tribute.

Mmm. I'd rather vote for McCain.
posted by nervousfritz at 2:17 PM on October 7, 2005

BMBFFA joecacti, I'm trying to piss off Zod.
posted by WolfDaddy at 2:30 PM on October 7, 2005

Waitaminnit, is he eligible? Does he count as a natural born citizen? I know he's gonna override the Constitution and all, but does he have to be sworn in first?
posted by nickmark at 2:34 PM on October 7, 2005

As for me, I'll be voting for the brilliant and humble Zen Master This.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 2:53 PM on October 7, 2005

frankly this guy would make a wonderful president...we need a nice tyrant. someone who doesnt take shit from anyone but has truly good intentions in mind. and because no earthling is gonna cut it, i say zod in 08
posted by stilgar at 2:57 PM on October 7, 2005

nickmark - nope, he wasn't born American.
posted by PurplePorpoise at 3:06 PM on October 7, 2005

How would he manage to win the election? No-one will vote for him! His only hope would be if somehow the votes were to be counted by some computer with no paper record so he could change the result with no-one knowing... oh... All Hail Zod!
posted by alasdair at 3:13 PM on October 7, 2005

BMBFFA joecacti, I'm trying to piss off Zod.

I checked google and came up with nothing on BMBFFA. What does it mean?
posted by ktoad at 3:24 PM on October 7, 2005

*Homer Simpson voice*
Stupid MeFi... Be more funny!
posted by Thoth at 3:26 PM on October 7, 2005

So, just more of the same, then?
posted by davelog at 3:41 PM on October 7, 2005

Bite me big fat effing arse, ktoad. Or words to that effect.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:15 PM on October 7, 2005

Is that Walken2008 link for real?
posted by Jon-o at 5:44 PM on October 7, 2005

No one knows, Jon-o.
It'd be a tough decision, between Walken and Zod. I think I'd still go for Walken, but I'm not American, so, no big deal what I think. (nice pic, davelog.)
posted by blacklite at 6:18 PM on October 7, 2005

Bet Zod plays hide the salami any old time he likes.
posted by humannature at 6:38 PM on October 7, 2005

No. It's fake.
posted by IronLizard at 6:44 PM on October 7, 2005

Don't I feel like a chump. I almost bought it, too.
It could have been the wishful thinking...
posted by Jon-o at 7:11 PM on October 7, 2005

Bite me big fat effing arse, ktoad. Or words to that effect.

Awesome.
posted by Kwantsar at 8:04 PM on October 7, 2005

I'd be far happier with the Bush if his administration was candid about it's evil.
posted by panoptican at 8:17 PM on October 7, 2005

One problem: he announced in Philadelphia. Not gonna happen. They'd throw beer cans at Jesus in Philly, let alone somebody like Zod, unless he were born here. Think Frank Rizzo.
posted by Peach at 9:02 AM on October 8, 2005