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Think your bum don't stink?
October 19, 2005 2:57 AM   Subscribe

Think your bum don't stink?
posted by SharQ (41 comments total)

 
Makes you wonder, really...
posted by SharQ at 2:57 AM on October 19, 2005


nah

If your BUM stinks, it wants washing.

Feces are supposed to stink. Otherwise dimwits would play in in them and possibly eat them. People wouldn't be interested in washing their hands, thus spreading "germs".

The "why should i care" section of the site refers to smelly airline toilets. Maybe everyone who gets on a plane should have a mandatory enema before boarding.

Eat less meat. :)
posted by reflecked at 3:04 AM on October 19, 2005


nah

If your BUM stinks, it wants washing.

Feces are supposed to stink. Otherwise dimwits would play in in them and possibly eat them. People wouldn't be interested in washing their hands, thus spreading "germs".

The "why should i care" section of the site refers to smelly airline toilets. Maybe everyone who gets on a plane should have a mandatory enema before boarding.

Eat less meat. :)


Sorry, but I have to call bullshit on just about everything you have just posted. You're clearly just talking out of your ass.
posted by srboisvert at 3:56 AM on October 19, 2005


Or special fabric so you can keep searching in the bottom of the laundry basket! href="http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1505832.html"> (Please somone tell me how to link it to the word??NooB!
posted by Wilder at 4:05 AM on October 19, 2005


...but it's a flower-fresh arse, I'll have you know.
posted by reflecked at 4:09 AM on October 19, 2005




If I were to take these pills, I am certain that I would soon find myself examining the smell and color of my own poop, out of curiousity and admiration. That doesn't strike me as a healthy hobby.

posted by leapingsheep at 4:18 AM on October 19, 2005


Well, that was mangled. I meant to post this, and not italicize the rest:

Whiff turns your poop a distinct and rich green color.
posted by leapingsheep at 4:19 AM on October 19, 2005


i hope this gives people ass cancer
posted by nola at 5:02 AM on October 19, 2005


Eat less meat. :)

Eat less meat? My shit smells like a juicy t-bone with a side of bacon. Tell me that ain't tasty!
posted by Pollomacho at 6:13 AM on October 19, 2005


Eat less meat. :)

Er, no. I lived with various vegans and vegatarians voluntarily (damn, that's all I got) during and after college. If anything, the smell walking into the bathroom after they took a dump was worse - sometimes far more so - than the normal omnivores in the dorm/house. Don't know what you're on but I have some first-nose experience in the matter.
posted by Ryvar at 6:25 AM on October 19, 2005


When you take these you truly *can* walk around thinking your sh*t don't stink!
posted by clevershark at 6:41 AM on October 19, 2005


Whiff turns your poop a distinct and rich green color.

This is excellent! Now when I shit green I'll never truly know if its internal bleeding or the pills.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 6:46 AM on October 19, 2005


During the first couple weeks of taking Whiff, you may experience significant flatulence and/or diarrhea.

I hope the diarrhea is stink-free!
posted by I Love Tacos at 6:53 AM on October 19, 2005


Actually, if your stool is green, it probably mean it passed through your intestinal tract too quickly for the bile it carries to mellow into the typical brown.

Intestinal bleeding would cause blackish, tarry stools, IIRC. Which might also be masked by this nonsense.

Now, if they could make flatulence smell good -- that would be to the benefit of mankind.
posted by maxsparber at 7:04 AM on October 19, 2005


I realized immediately that the issue was one of 100% participation. It wouldn’t be good enough just for MY poop to stop stinking – this needed to be a global movement to make EVERYONE’s poop less stinky!

I have a premonition that this man is going to die a sad and lonely failure.

"ACK! You can't invite "Mr. Poopy" to our wedding! Last New Years he buttonholed grandma and nearly made her vomit!"
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:18 AM on October 19, 2005


. . . significant flatulence and/or diarrhea?!

So I would have to endure two weeks of constant farting and shitting all over myself before this stuff started working as advertised? Sign me up!
posted by JeffK at 7:21 AM on October 19, 2005


Whiff turns your poop a distinct and rich green color.

perfect for St. Patty's Day!
posted by hellbient at 7:23 AM on October 19, 2005


Is this targetted at poo fetishists or something? What's the subtext?
posted by BrotherCaine at 7:29 AM on October 19, 2005


Eat less meat. :)

Yeah, my brother was a vegan for a time and used to use this argument on me as well. The only thing eating less meat does is desensitize your sense of smell...because vegan and vegetarian shit is rank as hell.
posted by NationalKato at 7:30 AM on October 19, 2005


Intestinal bleeding would cause blackish, tarry stools, IIRC.

However, before attending a doctor, please try to remember whether you were drinking guinness last night.
posted by biffa at 7:30 AM on October 19, 2005


Dr. John Harvey Kellogg: My own stools, Sir, are gigantic and have no more odor than a hot biscuit.

(From The Road to Wellville).
posted by LarryC at 7:36 AM on October 19, 2005


They'd get a customer for life in me if they introduce a line of rainbow colored pills so I can shit a rainbow that smells like roses.
posted by fenriq at 7:51 AM on October 19, 2005


This is the shittiest FPP I've ever seen.
posted by davy at 7:55 AM on October 19, 2005


Argh, suddenly I have dire, urgent need to take a shit. I had Indian last night. My suggestion? Run like hell. You've been warned.

(This thread is merely further proof that the longer a conversation is left to run it's course, the more likely it becomes that that conversation will (openly) discuss poop.)
posted by loquacious at 8:05 AM on October 19, 2005


Seriously, I saw a "first contact" documentary made in the forties, showing some Papuan New Guineans meeting white people for the first time. Their appearance, along with their portable Gramaphone, led the Papuans to believe the white men were ghosts or something.

Until one of them noticed one of the men take a dump in the bushes, went over to have a sniff, came back and reported that the men, were in fact, men. Now, how would this story have turned out if these whiteys had had the benefit of this wonderful "Whiff"?

(For further verification of their mere manly status, one of the women tried a little hanky-panky with one of the explorers. All went well. So, apparently, sex and shit are the prime identifiers of humanity. By the way, I understand androids don't shit at all. So there.)
posted by kozad at 8:17 AM on October 19, 2005


The longer a conversation is left to run it's course, the more likely it becomes that that conversation will (openly) discuss poop.

Ah yes. Crapper's Law.
posted by mondo dentro at 8:39 AM on October 19, 2005


Eat a handful of almonds a day and your crap smells like marzipan -- well, marzipan mixed with shit. It's probably a cheaper and healthier option than buying this product, although it may not be a true improvement on the original odor.

Canadian Business had an article on something called Just A Drop a few months ago. You just put a couple of drops of this liquid in the toilet before you use it and it's supposed to reduce the smell substantially. My husband and I were liviing in an old apartment with a poorly ventilated bathroom at the time. We were barely managing not to kill each other by striking matches after every crap, which usually made the bathroom smell like burnt matches and shit -- again, not much of an improvement. When we tried out a bottle of this stuff, it was a significant improvement over matches as the shit odor was almost completely masked and the new eucalyptus scent wasn't overpowering.

We now live in a house with proper ventilated bathrooms, so the old bottle's not needed, but I'd recommend on the spot deodorizing over putting some dodgy "natural" product in your body.
posted by maudlin at 9:17 AM on October 19, 2005


Now when I shit green I'll never truly know if its internal bleeding or the pills.

Dogpile on the Vulcan!
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:24 AM on October 19, 2005


Whatever happened to the Courtesy Flush?
posted by NationalKato at 9:31 AM on October 19, 2005


If your poo smelled like marzipan or warm biscuits, I should think it would be courteous not to flush.
posted by leapingsheep at 9:54 AM on October 19, 2005


...if they could make flatulence smell good...

Beano works great!
posted by wsg at 10:17 AM on October 19, 2005


You're our newest member. Here's your introductory basket. It's got some scented lotions, Ferrari sunglasses and of course, pills to make your bowel movements smell like bakery-fresh cinnamon rolls.
posted by The Thnikkaman at 10:50 AM on October 19, 2005


Beano works great!

I once saw a couple on a blind date at a Mexican restaurant, and the guy pulled out a bottle Beano and set it on the table for his date.
posted by StickyCarpet at 11:03 AM on October 19, 2005


Ryvar and NationalKato, you seem to be making a generalisation from a very small sample. When you've cleaned hundreds of bums, you'll come to appreciate those who eat little red meat.

My grandmother had pills made of crushed charcoal and chlorophyll. An extremely fastidious woman, she took them to reduce her fecal odor. We called her "the lady of the warm winds" behind her back.
posted by reflecked at 11:14 AM on October 19, 2005


> That doesn't strike me as a healthy hobby.

Clearly, you aren't located in Germany or the Netherlands. In those countries, I believe regular stool inspections are de rigeur.

I understand that that's the purpose of those little shelves in their lavatory pan. It's basically an inspection shelf. I once read somewhere that they line it with toilet paper prior to taking a dump, in order to cut down on the need for vigorous effort with the toilet brush.

Perhaps that's why all Dutch public toilets have an attendant who wants paying before they'll let you use the place?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:49 AM on October 19, 2005


Am I the only one here who's thinking of giving this to their pet?
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 1:28 PM on October 19, 2005


I understand that that's the purpose of those little shelves in their lavatory pan.

Holy crap! I remember wondering why the toilets in Amsterdam were so weird.
posted by afroblanca at 3:20 PM on October 19, 2005


Slarty, I have a tabby who can clear rooms and melt walls, exacerbated by the fact that she's 16 years old and still hasn't figured out how to cover up her own crap yet. Does Whiff come in tuna flavour?
posted by maudlin at 4:42 PM on October 19, 2005


Ryvar and NationalKato, you seem to be making a generalisation from a very small sample. When you've cleaned hundreds of bums, you'll come to appreciate those who eat little red meat.

There's a good asswipe joke buried in here but I can't think of any that are suitably amiable-sounding since you seem nice.
posted by Ryvar at 8:20 PM on October 19, 2005


Belgians also make you pay.
posted by brujita at 9:08 PM on October 19, 2005


Green poo. Uh huh. If you look up green stool as a symptom, you'll find salmonella and giardea. Their claim that this is something new becomes suspect, as the same thing happens from taking chlorophyll tablets, sold for the same purpose.
posted by Goofyy at 11:32 PM on October 19, 2005


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