Who's been a bad boy?

October 30, 2005 6:39 AM

Baby Cage. Infant Confinement Specialists since 2001.
posted by XQUZYPHYR (49 comments total)

thats it?
posted by lemonfridge at 6:46 AM on October 30, 2005

Every restaurant, airplane and movie theater should be equipped with this.
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:47 AM on October 30, 2005

posted by lemonfridge at 6:48 AM on October 30, 2005

Every restaurant, airplane and movie theater should be equipped with this.

And ones for adults too
posted by lemonfridge at 6:50 AM on October 30, 2005

They need soundproof screens to pull down when the noise is too much for discerning adults.
posted by leftcoastbob at 6:54 AM on October 30, 2005

This is great. I have been worrying about a good wedding gift for my neice. Now she won't worry so much about having kids!
posted by Goofyy at 6:58 AM on October 30, 2005

At least Faraday cages would be nice to stop people from yakking on their mobile phones all the time.
posted by grouse at 6:58 AM on October 30, 2005

Funnily, the one on the home page is exactly the same as what we put our puppy in for the first few weeks.

I'm 22, and I can easily sit inside it.
posted by lemonfridge at 7:00 AM on October 30, 2005

And ones for adults too

To go with the home versions, right?

posted by Smart Dalek at 7:02 AM on October 30, 2005

Regardless of whether this is a spoof or not (and I really hope it is, for obvious reasons) their HTML is diabolical :)
posted by kaemaril at 7:06 AM on October 30, 2005

Not to be a downer, but this is a lot less funny when these things actually happen:

The Ontario government is appealing the nine-month sentences handed to a couple who often kept their adoptive sons in cages over a 13-year period.

This was revealed some years ago and I still worry about those poor boys. These sorts of things remindsme of exactly why I plan to become a foster parent in the near future.
posted by Hildegarde at 7:10 AM on October 30, 2005

Now that's a buzzkill. :p
posted by cavalier at 7:13 AM on October 30, 2005

Sorry, don't mean to harsh anyone's mellow, but when I saw the FPP it's the first thing I thought about. I hope those boys are alright.
posted by Hildegarde at 7:17 AM on October 30, 2005

Love the Splintered Wood Cage Padding.
posted by tastybrains at 7:17 AM on October 30, 2005

I think the wood cage padding is a nice idea, but it's um...ugly. ugly. Bag O' Glass sells really pretty glass shards that would look so much nicer on the bottom of the cage. They come in all different colors to match any decor, and the way they reflect the light is really nice. Plus they're packaged in a cute little plastic bag that the kids can play with.

Before anyone says "pepsi blue", um...no, I don't work for Bag O'Glass, and they didn't pay me to shill for them, either. I just think it's a cool thing.
posted by iconomy at 7:25 AM on October 30, 2005

this is a lot less funny when these things actually happen:

See here as well.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:36 AM on October 30, 2005

ROU_Xenophobe, I was just about to start searching for that comment!
posted by uncanny hengeman at 7:41 AM on October 30, 2005

Eeek. Once again, my desire to be a foster parent is seriously rekindled. Thanks ROU_X. I think I'm going to stop apologizing for being a buzzkill. This really isn't very funny.
posted by Hildegarde at 7:42 AM on October 30, 2005

[this is a dumb FPP]

If it's real, this is just another dumb FPP; if it's fake, this is just another dumb FPP.
posted by mischief at 7:48 AM on October 30, 2005

Lame spoofs since 2001. Can I put my bonsai kitten in one of these?
posted by fire&wings at 8:07 AM on October 30, 2005

It's not funny... it's ADORABLE!!!
posted by fungible at 8:16 AM on October 30, 2005

Regardless of whether this is a spoof or not...
If it's real, this is just another dumb FPP...
Wha...? Did you read the links?
From the Philosophy page:
Without discipline and structure, a child may become susceptible to liking rock and roll, doing drugs, or in an extreme case believing in liberalism.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:25 AM on October 30, 2005

Regardless of whether this is a spoof or not
If it's real

Are you people serious? It's obviously a spoof. It might not be a brilliant one, but come on folks, let's not waste any time worrying about whether or not it's for real. Sheesh.

On preview, pretty much exactly what weapons-grade pandemonium said.
posted by MrMustard at 8:31 AM on October 30, 2005

Er, to anyone who thought that coz I was going to search for the "kid in a cage" comment = I didn't think it was a spoof:

Get a brain! Morans

(Go USA)
posted by uncanny hengeman at 8:41 AM on October 30, 2005

I don't think it's complete without the Happy Customers pictures including the kids from Prussian Blue.
posted by Smedleyman at 9:15 AM on October 30, 2005

did you just call us morans

or morons?
posted by lalochezia at 9:18 AM on October 30, 2005

Morans.
posted by PurplePorpoise at 9:32 AM on October 30, 2005

Sure, a stupid spoof, but isn't it just a playpen with a roof? By daughter loved her playpen for about a hour, then the wouldn't go near the thing. Getting serious on an FPP spoof is stupid, but...if you don't want yr kid to run around and get in trouble from ages 1-18, don't have one.
posted by kozad at 9:51 AM on October 30, 2005

Just use a stair-block, sheeh.
posted by tommyc at 10:04 AM on October 30, 2005

I smell an agenda. From the "About Us" page:

"A prime example of the breaking down of American society. A time when a woman wishes to claim her "independence" by going to work, instead of being at home to take care of the children. This is what is making each generation worse than the other. Woman in the work place may seem as a victory to the sex, but they aren't thinking of what's best for their children."

In other words, feminism=child abuse. Charming.
posted by echolalia67 at 10:32 AM on October 30, 2005

Good eye, echolalia.
posted by Hildegarde at 10:40 AM on October 30, 2005

Remember the recent Huron County Ohio case where 11 special needs children were kept in cages by their foster parents, the Gravelles?
posted by BrotherCaine at 10:54 AM on October 30, 2005

" 'I work with retards.'

'Isn't that a little politically incorrect?'

'Yeah, maybe, but hell, no one's gonna tell me who I can and can't work with. Those goofy bastards are about the best thing I've got going.'"
posted by Smedleyman at 11:00 AM on October 30, 2005

My dad used to joke with us in public, saying in a deep voice,
"Do you want to go in the box?"
"No No, Dad! Not the box!" we'd reply
"You're going in the box when we get home"
"No No Dad, not the box!"
Just to see all the shocked Mommy faces around. We all thought it was hilarious. These days he'd be put in prison and we in foster care for just joking about it. We still joke about the box and I'm 33.
posted by aacheson at 11:20 AM on October 30, 2005

On another note, it reminds me of "the rod" website..excepts that's not a joke.
posted by aacheson at 11:21 AM on October 30, 2005

I look forward to my mom forwarding me this link in an outraged email.
posted by ori at 11:40 AM on October 30, 2005

It's good to see animal rights supporters making a point somewhat creatively.

I like it.
posted by I Love Tacos at 12:41 PM on October 30, 2005

Regardless of whether this is a spoof or not

Are you people serious? It's obviously a spoof. It might not be a brilliant one, but come on folks, let's not waste any time worrying about whether or not it's for real. - Mr Mustard

Psst. Hey. Note the word "Regardless" there? That means I WASN'T wasting any time worrying about whether or not it's for real. Just so you know.
posted by kaemaril at 12:50 PM on October 30, 2005

I look forward to my mom forwarding me this link in an outraged email. - Ori.

It's when the e-mail starts "I wish I had this when you were a kid" that you've really got to worry ... :)
posted by kaemaril at 12:56 PM on October 30, 2005

I look forward to my mom forwarding me this link in an outraged email.

Ori, I was just thinking the same thing, but from my aunt. I've even told her a million times that the "The Onion" is a spoof. I've forwarded the "Snopes" links... Just doesn't register.

*sigh*
posted by Kloryne at 1:30 PM on October 30, 2005

These cages would be really easy to convert to a Skinner Box.
posted by TedW at 2:09 PM on October 30, 2005

A baby cage? Isn't this harmful to children? No, All of our products are tested on third-world country test subjects experimentally for six months. After each experiment, each child showed no signs of physical or emotional damage

Nice touch and not so farfetched-- after all, pharmaceutical companies have been testing their products in third word countries for years.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 2:24 PM on October 30, 2005

I heart aacheson's dad.
posted by five fresh fish at 3:15 PM on October 30, 2005

first thing I though was "nicked from Memepool" - but dont take this as a criticism of the post, still worth posting etc. I just find the spread of links like this (I hate the term "meme") quite funny.
posted by 13twelve at 3:28 PM on October 30, 2005

On their page, a caption under a picture of a kid reads "Baby Cages keep me safe from my pit bull puppy doggy."

Somebody's missing something here. Is it me?
posted by davy at 5:12 PM on October 30, 2005

I read the site. I think it's a spoof, or sarcastic social commentary.
posted by davy at 5:18 PM on October 30, 2005

"Be sure to ask us about our new electric confinement solutions!".

i am so tempted to send the site to james dobson and see what he has to say.
posted by piranha at 12:49 AM on October 31, 2005

It's quite obviously a spoof -- although in a world where a Xian homeschooling magazine can earnestly advertise for a rod whose express purpose is to beat children, that may not be obvious.

It's a bit like the Onion's spoof Presidential speeches. With any other President, it wouldn't have taken as long before one could definitely tell they were satire...
posted by clevershark at 4:20 AM on October 31, 2005

doby, the pit bull puppy doggy probably references the child in san francisco who was killed by his mother's pit bulls after not staying in the cellar where she told him to stay while the pit bulls were acting up. I think she was subsequently arrested.
posted by BrotherCaine at 3:31 AM on November 1, 2005