Slip of the Lip

November 2, 2005 12:16 PM

"Pinch his tits."A Freudian slip and not getting over it is bad joo joo for Christians Speakers
[embedded video & some cursing]
posted by Hands of Manos (83 comments total)

Summary for the people at the office, if you please
posted by poppo at 12:23 PM on November 2, 2005

Priceless! Be sure to email him.
posted by JeffK at 12:24 PM on November 2, 2005

poppo, my apologies. I'll try to get ahold of Matt and see if he'll let me add to it
posted by Hands of Manos at 12:26 PM on November 2, 2005

It wouldn't surprise me if something about tit pinching is in the Bible. There's some pretty dirty stuff in there.
posted by quadog at 12:27 PM on November 2, 2005

You could just type it in the thread, HoM.
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:28 PM on November 2, 2005

The look on his face after he says it the first time is hilarious.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 12:28 PM on November 2, 2005

He's, like, possessed by the Devil for a minute there. It's better than Jim Carrey.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:29 PM on November 2, 2005

Dude. We totally could have gotten around the impending flood of metanags complaining about the one-linker if you'd just given me the time to podcast about accidentally asking for a "bean and cheese tortilla" instead of a "been and cheese burrito" at the taqueria the other day.
posted by mph at 12:30 PM on November 2, 2005

Another.
posted by horsewithnoname at 12:30 PM on November 2, 2005

If you just go on like nothing happened, people will eventually settle down. If you keep on making reference to it, you severely compund your problem.
posted by originalname37 at 12:31 PM on November 2, 2005

this needs another tag: tits

Ive never seen anyone get so flustered. Brilliant
posted by lemonfridge at 12:32 PM on November 2, 2005

christians are weird.via in4mador
posted by BrotherCaine at 12:32 PM on November 2, 2005

horsewithnoname: How about the same NSFW tag courtesy?
posted by VulcanMike at 12:33 PM on November 2, 2005

Vulcan. added and my apologies. I hope I didn't get you in trouble
posted by Hands of Manos at 12:35 PM on November 2, 2005

This is what happens when you don't get to pinch tits.
posted by you just lost the game at 12:35 PM on November 2, 2005

You're right. Apologies to those at work.
posted by horsewithnoname at 12:36 PM on November 2, 2005

no extra work in the fpp necessary, Manos...as FoB says, any old comment would do...or you could just say "wait til you get home, poppo, and stop your whining"
posted by poppo at 12:36 PM on November 2, 2005

oh wait, I totally just flubbed that...well, a nsfw still works
posted by Hands of Manos at 12:36 PM on November 2, 2005

Recap for you office workers:

The guy was telling a Biblical tale in church, and meant to say "pitch his tents" but instead said "pinch his tits."

The speaker then becomes rather flustered. It was mildly amusing.
posted by teece at 12:38 PM on November 2, 2005

A member of the congregation must have been distracting him....
posted by SirOmega at 12:41 PM on November 2, 2005

Where's the cursing?! I was promised cursing!!!
posted by mrgrimm at 12:41 PM on November 2, 2005

Thank you lover!
posted by poppo at 12:41 PM on November 2, 2005

mrgrimm, this was christian cursing

dawgnabit
posted by Hands of Manos at 12:42 PM on November 2, 2005

This guy seriously looks really coked up, especially the reaction. I've never seen anyone so tightly wound, especially over such a sophomoric slip-up. I was going through my mind how I'd handle it and seeing as how he was speaking to a youth group (I assume, it says he was a high school preacher), something along the lines of ".... pinch his tits, well perhaps that, but they were also pitching their tents," does several things. He got caught in some kind of thought loop and started repeating "pinch your tits/pitch your tents" so many times I couldn't tell the difference. If he had continued on, even with a joke, he would have avoided the speaking loop he got himself into. Amateur.
posted by geoff. at 12:44 PM on November 2, 2005

Did anyone else think this guy based his whole personality on Jim Breuer? Except for the whole Christian probably no drugs/no naughtiness thing.
posted by Fontbone at 12:45 PM on November 2, 2005

Here's another interesting flub for y'all (via yesterday's Reuters):

"Quaker Maid Meats Inc. on Tuesday said it would voluntarily recall 94,400 pounds of frozen ground beef panties that may be contaminated with E. coli."

Nothing brings more pleasure to the table than Quaker Maid Beef Panties!
posted by numlok at 12:51 PM on November 2, 2005

I bet he was pitching his own tent when he said this.
posted by you just lost the game at 1:01 PM on November 2, 2005

It would help if he would learn to pronounce the word "tent" correctly.

And if he gave up the coke.
posted by Outlawyr at 1:19 PM on November 2, 2005

Maybe they were stealing someone's chickadees.
posted by CrunchyFrog at 1:25 PM on November 2, 2005

He gets so red his face looks like it's going to pop off and explode.
posted by Peter H at 1:26 PM on November 2, 2005

Oh, and for those who can't view the video because you're at work, here's what happens:
Siamese twins strip naked and chase a plucked chicken around a manger scene sculpted from Spam while a midget in a tutu sings "Cocaine" and a frog in a little pink scuba suit hops from a bungy cord onto a spinning turntable making the needle jump on a scratchy recording of the Grateful Dead singing "Casey Jones", when suddenly, Pat Robertson swings in dressed like tarzan, punches the Siamese twins out, and snorts coke off their unconscious bodies, then pierces his tongue with a letter opener and keeps yelling "tint, tint". It's kind of weird.
posted by Outlawyr at 1:32 PM on November 2, 2005

ebaumsworldfilter!
posted by aparrish at 1:33 PM on November 2, 2005

I was all ready to complain about a link to some dumb slip of the tongue, but that was mesmerizing. I hope this isn't on video! Hoo doggies.
posted by languagehat at 1:33 PM on November 2, 2005

Metafilter: poka! poka! poka! ... mommy!!!

(thanks for the link, BrotherCaine)
posted by joe lisboa at 1:34 PM on November 2, 2005

Ouch.
posted by odinsdream at 1:44 PM on November 2, 2005

Well, at least he wasn't pitching a tent while he was saying that.
posted by PurplePorpoise at 1:51 PM on November 2, 2005

"I was all ready to complain about a link to some dumb slip of the tongue, but that was mesmerizing. I hope this isn't on video! Hoo doggies."

I try to be slightly discerning about my FPP's as I've been flamed enough for bad ones ;)
posted by Hands of Manos at 1:54 PM on November 2, 2005

Repress much?
posted by gottabefunky at 1:54 PM on November 2, 2005

Black churches are better, even when they're worse.
posted by Eideteker at 2:07 PM on November 2, 2005

odinsdream: exactly.

I live! In a van! By the river!
posted by flod at 2:10 PM on November 2, 2005

Anyone know a trick to get a screen capture of this?
posted by Outlawyr at 2:32 PM on November 2, 2005

Metafilter: Siamese twins strip naked and chase a plucked chicken around a manger scene sculpted from Spam while a midget in a tutu sings "Cocaine" and a frog in a little pink scuba suit hops from a bungy cord onto a spinning turntable making the needle jump on a scratchy recording of the Grateful Dead singing "Casey Jones", when suddenly, Pat Robertson swings in dressed like tarzan, punches the Siamese twins out, and snorts coke off their unconscious bodies, then pierces his tongue with a letter opener and keeps yelling "tint, tint". It's kind of weird.
posted by blue_beetle at 2:33 PM on November 2, 2005

Never mind

posted by Outlawyr at 2:51 PM on November 2, 2005

Is tit-pinching foreplay to the "sermon on the mount"?
posted by Edward King at 2:55 PM on November 2, 2005

Siamese twins strip naked and chase a plucked chicken around a manger scene sculpted from Spam while a midget in a tutu sings "Cocaine" and a frog in a little pink scuba suit hops from a bungy cord onto a spinning turntable making the needle jump on a scratchy recording of the Grateful Dead singing "Casey Jones", when suddenly, Pat Robertson swings in dressed like tarzan, punches the Siamese twins out, and snorts coke off their unconscious bodies, then pierces his tongue with a letter opener and keeps yelling "tint, tint".

And the talent agent says, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call yourselves?"...
posted by Turtles all the way down at 2:56 PM on November 2, 2005

This guy seriously looks really coked up, especially the reaction. I've never seen anyone so tightly wound, especially over such a sophomoric slip-up.

... looks like a pretty ordinary Christian youth minister to me.
posted by kindall at 2:56 PM on November 2, 2005

Love thy neighbor as thyself, pinch his tits (show that you care)
posted by ob at 2:58 PM on November 2, 2005

This needs a "chemically imbalanced" tag.
posted by fungible at 3:04 PM on November 2, 2005

I thought the whole story of Lot was about tit-pinching. Or tent-pitching.
posted by dhartung at 3:09 PM on November 2, 2005

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought of Chris Farley.
posted by Venadium at 3:18 PM on November 2, 2005

This guy seriously looks really coked up, especially the reaction. I've never seen anyone so tightly wound, especially over such a sophomoric slip-up.

Imagine, if you will, being employed by a huge group of fundamentalist parents to take care of their jaded junior-high and high-school kids. You've spent the last year trying to work with them, talk to them, and generally be Cool and Relevant and Hip while simultaneously not offending or unsettling the parents.

You are in front of several thousand of these junior high students, and their parents, on stage, on camera, talking about the importance of moral purity. You accidentally say 'tit-pinching' instead of 'tent-pitching.'

You realize, suddenly, that one of the groups in the audience will find this deleriously funny. The other group will find it offensive. The second group is the one that pays your poverty-level salary.

I'm not saying the guy is a great person or anything, but... well. The subculture he works in makes this sort of gaffe an anvil-from-the-sky sort of moment.
posted by verb at 3:28 PM on November 2, 2005

I wonder who he'd been thinking of just before he said it.
posted by alumshubby at 3:44 PM on November 2, 2005

It would help if he would learn to pronounce the word "tent" correctly.

Hey, now, he's speaking in perfect Southern English. The particular phenomenon is called the in~en merger.
posted by greatgefilte at 3:46 PM on November 2, 2005

"You haven't come for my lecture, you just want to hear one of those... things."
posted by furvyn at 3:52 PM on November 2, 2005

Transcript:

[Coked-up, spikey-haired Christian-dude on stage]:

And then the following week... last week, we were talking about Lot, and were talking about Sodom and Gomorra, and were talking about Lot chose to go pinch his tits...

[Laughter]

Excuse me... pi... pit... PITCH his TENTS. Pitch his tents... is what I said... and you heard NOTHING ELSE HERE. This is church, my gosh!

So, he was PITCHING his TENTS close to Sodom and Gomorra. So what happened was [Laughter continues] when he did that, he was getting too close to evil. And what I was challenging you guys to not do was to pick friends that were going to lead you to... [Laughter still continuing]

...STOP LAUGHING! ALRIGHT!? MAN! AM I RED RIGHT NOW?! [Ed: Like a lobster.] HOLY COW! Ellie, I hope this isn't on videotape, 'cause... um... I have no job now! [Ed: "I hope this isn't on the internet, 'cause I'll have no job now.]

So... um [Laughter continues] What I was sayin' is... that... [tries to compose himself, not doing a good job] sometimes God has to be full of justice.

[End Clip]
---
It helps if you think of Chris Farley's SNL character (pic above) to better get a sense of just how disheveled he is.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 3:58 PM on November 2, 2005

dhartung: I thought the whole story of Lot was about tit-pinching. Or tent-pitching.

No, no, no. The problem with Lot and the Sodomites is that they WEREN'T doing any tit-pinching.
posted by Fontbone at 3:59 PM on November 2, 2005

I thought the Sodomites were doing male tit-pinching. At least that's what I'd do in their shoes. I'd have already pitched my tent by then.
posted by Rothko at 4:10 PM on November 2, 2005

i'm pinching my tits also
posted by nola at 4:56 PM on November 2, 2005

Fascinating, largely because of what the gaffe interrupts (a warning to avoid non-christians because they will lead you astray) and how he transitions back ("so what I was saying was, sometimes god has to be full of justice...").
posted by Treeline at 5:12 PM on November 2, 2005

I keep watching this over and over waiting for it to stop being hilarious. Hasn't happened yet...
posted by hermitosis at 5:33 PM on November 2, 2005

Yikes..that guy's creepy. BTW, its Juju not joo joo. Just sayin'..it would be bad juju if I didn't.
posted by tetsuo at 5:38 PM on November 2, 2005

That's freakin' hilarious.
posted by callmejay at 6:10 PM on November 2, 2005

Greatgefilte, that dialect link was great. Off-topic, I know... but the northern cities chain shift pretty much explains why I can't stand hearing my own michigan accent on tape. Thanks. OK, everybody, back to the tits.
posted by selfmedicating at 6:11 PM on November 2, 2005

I wonder if he lives in a van down by the river?
posted by fungible at 6:25 PM on November 2, 2005

tetsuo - thanks for the correction!
posted by Hands of Manos at 6:39 PM on November 2, 2005

It's insane this guy's tent! sorry
posted by gubo at 6:41 PM on November 2, 2005

Seems like he not only exacerbates the problem by harping on his error - but by not being able to properly pronounce "pitch"

I'm not even sure - after watching it multiple times - that he knows it's "pitch tents" and not "pinch tents."
posted by odinsdream at 6:44 PM on November 2, 2005

My high school friends and I used the phrase "pitch a tent" as a euphemism for, er, "sport a woody".
So this speech is just rife with hilarity.
posted by oneirodynia at 6:53 PM on November 2, 2005

Metafilter: chock full of "anvil-from-the-sky" moments.
posted by craniac at 7:19 PM on November 2, 2005

From the email addresses page:
If you enjoy ministering to teen girls, please contact Johanna.

"She said, 'Tell me are you a Christian, boy?' and I said 'Ma'am, I am tonight!'" - Mark Cohn
posted by spock at 7:32 PM on November 2, 2005

An apparent email from the guy, who actually comes across pretty well. Too well, in fact. He's become pretty famous for this bit recently, which makes me wonder if our upstanding young preacher would have dared to have - oh, what word to use - planned? scripted? - such a humorous gaffe, in an attempt to have his message and/or name and face broadcasted further than they would have been otherwise.

Not that there would necessarily be anything wrong with that - but the more I watch the clip the more I wonder, especially with all the over-the-top reaction and explanation.

Just a thought.
posted by yhbc at 8:05 PM on November 2, 2005

That was actually my first take on it, yhbc: that this guy did this on purpose. He's no fool, and he's trying to keep the attention of his audience -- teens. His 'recovery' is actually what you would expect if that were the case: the eye-rolling, the embarrassed look, the pointing out that the audience is still laughing, the disingenous 'OMG do I still have a job?' (he even says, "Holy Cow!"). This is showmanship. The tone of his email makes it clear that he is well aware of what appeals to young audiences in his "awesome church", "dude".

I only wish my youth pastors had been this funny. Not that it would have made me believe any more in their crap, but at least it would have been more entertaining.
posted by trip and a half at 8:37 PM on November 2, 2005

Isn't this the youth minister who was electrocuted this past weekend when he was performing baptisms and he reached out of the bathtub to adjust the mike?

He looks just like the dude.
posted by filchyboy at 8:39 PM on November 2, 2005

er... 'disingenuous'
posted by trip and a half at 8:43 PM on November 2, 2005

His 'recovery' is actually what you would expect if that were the case

His 'recovery' is actually what you'd expect if a guy wanted to say "oh shit oh shit oh shit" but had to suppress that natural impulse because he was standing in front of a room full of Christians.
posted by kindall at 11:08 PM on November 2, 2005

Hmmm "pinching tits". Horny now.
posted by Deepspace at 11:59 PM on November 2, 2005

Of course, there's always the best slipup ever. (NSFW and NSF People Who Hate Shepard Smith)
posted by debris at 11:59 PM on November 2, 2005

Back in the early 80's when personal hard drives became available, a female presenter was explaining to a group of us male computer salesmen that their new computer came with a "five megabyte hard-on".

In the pregnant pause that followed, the guy next to me deadpanned. "Must be a big one".

The look on her face was nearly identical to the guy in the FFP.
posted by Enron Hubbard at 3:15 AM on November 3, 2005

I don't think it was planned or crafted...I think he was just checking out some pre-teen's tits in the audience and his brain farted for a moment
posted by Hands of Manos at 5:24 AM on November 3, 2005

That guy looks like he's hopped on about a 100 of these.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:16 AM on November 3, 2005

High as a kite, everybody! Goofballs! Yeah, where's your Messiah now, Flanders?
posted by kirkaracha at 6:26 AM on November 3, 2005

And now for something completely unpleasant


Sorry to break up the fantasy. It was truly funny, yes.

But there's a lot on the move outside soothingly blue internet enclaves.
posted by troutfishing at 8:50 PM on November 3, 2005

Once again : liberal nemesis
posted by troutfishing at 8:54 PM on November 3, 2005