Web store fails to monitor it's own reviews board

November 3, 2005 2:50 AM

Shirtpocket.co.uk news item 7 - reviews Someone is asleep at the wheel. Eastender Grant is particularly peeved.
posted by magpie68 (38 comments total)

But where are the clowns?
posted by johnny novak at 3:03 AM on November 3, 2005

There ought to be clowns
posted by johnny novak at 3:04 AM on November 3, 2005

Who would buy something from an online store that can't even spell "orders" right?
posted by antifuse at 3:27 AM on November 3, 2005

WTF?!?
posted by daveg at 3:34 AM on November 3, 2005

Fantastic FPP, the entertaining subject matter, the depth of the surrounding links. I have never seen a MeFi post as well constructed and as well thought out as this lame pun on a soap actor's name.
posted by DrDoberman at 3:39 AM on November 3, 2005

Thanks for the tips, DrDoberman. The discussion matter is in the link, but feel free to ignore me until I get the hang of this....
posted by magpie68 at 3:47 AM on November 3, 2005

This just in. Grant Mitchell beaten up by wife. Wife arrested.
posted by johnny novak at 3:52 AM on November 3, 2005

MetaFilter: I’m hoping that a totally fucking offensive message will spur you into action, as I see no indication anyone is reading these messages.
posted by Smart Dalek at 4:07 AM on November 3, 2005

While spousal abuse is not a subject for humour, one cannot help but see the upside of (for non-UK readers)
(a) a self-styled tv hardman getting a smack in the chops
(b) the editor of the Sun get arrested - for those who don't know/remember it was Wade who ran the News of the World's paedophile vigilante campaign which led to the office of a pediatric expert being attacked as well as a number of innocent people getting attacked. As editor of the Sun she continues to a bile filler blight on the UK's political and cultural life.
posted by biffa at 4:08 AM on November 3, 2005

Indeed it was she who forced many offenders to flee and thus stop getting the help they needed to stop offending. She didn't stop when she left NOTW either as this story shows.

But back to the question on everyone's lips, will Grant Mitchell the Shirtpocket customer ever get his "Screen protector"? Probably not
posted by magpie68 at 4:27 AM on November 3, 2005

bile filler? I have no idea what that was about.
posted by biffa at 4:27 AM on November 3, 2005

Surely there must be someone reading this who could stop by the offices of this company and see if they are still in business:

ShirtPocket Ltd.
Unit 23,
Cobden House,
Cobden Street,
Leicester
LE1 2LB

Metafilter to the rescue! (I'd go but I'm in the U.S.)
posted by notmtwain at 4:27 AM on November 3, 2005

a self-styled tv hardman getting a smack in the chops

Obviously, his portrayal of himself in Ricky Gervais's Extras was much closer to life than the character he played in Eastenders.

I wonder if the fact that she was still in custody when The Guardian filed its story means that it was a very serious assault, and not just the proverbial smack around the chops?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:14 AM on November 3, 2005

DrDoberman, according to the guidelines this isn't a bad post. The only thing it may have going against it is the "uniqueness over novelty" thing, but I never understood that.
posted by swift at 5:15 AM on November 3, 2005

WTF is this post about?
posted by mkultra at 5:19 AM on November 3, 2005

Do people use Eastender names a lot? (it reminds me of when we had a substitute in elementary school and would write down Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse on the attendance thing.)

I would have gone with Dot or Ethel myself. : >
posted by amberglow at 5:21 AM on November 3, 2005

Thirteen million people watched the long-awaited return of Grant and Phil Mitchell to EastEnders on Monday night. (and there are only like 60 million people in the whole country)
posted by amberglow at 5:23 AM on November 3, 2005

Call me lame, but I can't figure out what the post is about, either.
posted by bugmuncher at 5:33 AM on November 3, 2005

This just in. Grant Mitchell beaten up by wife. Wife arrested.

First they misplace his order, and now this...
posted by clevershark at 5:37 AM on November 3, 2005

I thought that was amusing. If your company is shit then don't let the customers write unmoderated reviews. Especially Grant Mitchell or any member of Metafilter.
posted by fire&wings at 5:40 AM on November 3, 2005

Is this “Grant Mitchell” something you need to have a TV to know about?
posted by ijoshua at 5:49 AM on November 3, 2005

Is this “Grant Mitchell” something you need to have a British TV to know about?
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 5:55 AM on November 3, 2005

kingfisher, his musclebound cat : "Is this “Grant Mitchell” something you need to have a British TV to know about?"

No, it can successfully be known with access to a computer and a bittorrent program, or a monitor, DVD player, and DVD, or an NTSC television in an area which carries PBS, or a number of other methods.

It can also, almost inevitably (knowing the net), be known through fanfiction.
posted by Bugbread at 6:01 AM on November 3, 2005

Poor quality of the FPP aside, this post cracked me up:

My cat just spit on me! The jerk!

Send Grant his shit or my spitting feline is coming over to gob you!

posted by blendor at 6:03 AM on November 3, 2005

(except we're 3 years behind in my neck of the woods)
posted by amberglow at 6:03 AM on November 3, 2005

(except we're 3 years behind in my neck of the woods)

Wow, you live in a time when Eastenders was actually worth watching!

This gives me faint hope that, somewhere on the planet, some lucky person is watching an episode of Brookside, happy inside as Jimmy Corkhill struts down the close in his belted leather jacket, saying 'Come 'ead, Cracker' to his little dog. Uh, sorry. I really liked Brookie.
posted by jack_mo at 6:12 AM on November 3, 2005

Just for the seemingly dull-witted:

This FPP links to the review page of an online shop.

The reviews (click on the name of the reviewer on the linked page to read one) have been taken over by irate customers who have found that it seems to be the only way to communicate with the company.

Side bar: 'Grant Mitchell' is the name of a character in a popular UK TV soap opera - EastEnders - who has just returned after a few years off. It also seems to be the name of one of the aforementioned irate customers.

Coming next week...not all British people live in castles you know.
posted by i_cola at 6:20 AM on November 3, 2005

'Come 'ead, Cracker'

...which of course means something different to the Left Ponders. (Urban dictionery has an amusing page on the definition of cracker. Now you know why the American remake of the Robbie Coltrane prog was renamed 'Fitz' ;-)
posted by i_cola at 6:24 AM on November 3, 2005

Sorry for being vague, i_cola has explained perfectly, I thought the "reviews" were amusing as is the fact that the webmaster is clearly "asleep at the wheel" allowing defamatory and abusive comments to stay up.

And I now see some MeFites have expanded onto his board, this should be fun.....
posted by magpie68 at 6:35 AM on November 3, 2005

Wow, you live in a time when Eastenders was actually worth watching!

Eh...it's all about Sonja's baby with Pauline starting to fight for it, and Lisa having a breakdown every episode, and that family of sisters is making trouble all the time, and Ian went bankrupt...
posted by amberglow at 6:45 AM on November 3, 2005

altho, on the bright side, Phil and Melanie slept together, and the whole Pat thing has been good (Frank left recently), and Nick Cotten came back, but is in the hospital.... ; >
posted by amberglow at 6:46 AM on November 3, 2005

i_cola, where would you look to check the spelling of "dictionery"?

Also the last entry says A device used to "crack" the seal on Nitrous cartridges for inhaling the N20 for a high.
Please don't try this at home, the London borough of Totteridge is dangerous if inhaled.
posted by magpie68 at 6:55 AM on November 3, 2005

seriously what the fuck is this post about
posted by Optimus Chyme at 8:46 AM on November 3, 2005

magpie68: Tpeinyg too fast. Thinking too swlo.

seriously what the fuck is this post about

Seriously, read this.
posted by i_cola at 9:07 AM on November 3, 2005

do you think Rebecca Wade smacked Grant because his cat gobbed on her?

Also what's with the David Blunkett connection, he just can't stay out of the news. Not for even one day.
posted by johnny novak at 11:14 AM on November 3, 2005

Just for the seemingly dull-witted

(three paragraphs of explanation later)

So, this is one of those puzzle posts?
posted by Ogre Lawless at 12:17 PM on November 3, 2005

The discussion matter is in the link

i had pancakes for dinner last night.
posted by 3.2.3 at 1:46 PM on November 3, 2005

Geez, are you always so friendly in here? Particular thanks to whoever posted a personal message about me on the review board I linked to. Nice little clique you've got going in here, sorry for troubling you, I'll back out now and not darken your door again.... Grrr..
posted by magpie68 at 3:10 AM on November 4, 2005