Liar, liar, pants on fire

November 7, 2005 1:26 AM

"What's the matter sweetie? Can't sleep?"
"No, no. I was just going over my answers to the polygraph test your dad just gave me."
posted by Rothko (17 comments total)

What's this about?
posted by nicwolff at 2:12 AM on November 7, 2005

I don't get the links. Bush is doing some CYA bullshit that is meaningless, and some people hate polygraphs. Are you suggesting that White House staff should be polygraphed? Or that they shouldn't be? Or what?
posted by wilful at 3:00 AM on November 7, 2005

"How lucky for Bush! He gets to re-reintroduce integrity to the White house! Oh, happy day!" --Jon Stewart
posted by kimota at 3:55 AM on November 7, 2005

I think I nodded off and missed the first half of this post...whats going on?
posted by lemonfridge at 3:56 AM on November 7, 2005

Was that a quote from Meet the Parents or something?
posted by Faint of Butt at 4:05 AM on November 7, 2005

What kind of ethics? What KIND?? "Aaaarrgghhh!!! The Fundies are coming! The fundies are coming!"

Overreaction: a trademark of Metafilter Industries.

Hmm... maybe this link has some Summon Bevets power in it.
posted by malusmoriendumest at 4:14 AM on November 7, 2005

Isn't the USA one of about two countries that actually trusts in the use of polygraph technology (Israel being the other IIRC)? I seem to remember a big ol' MeFi post on the subject a couple of years back (barring the AskMe questions) but for once I have lucked out.
posted by longbaugh at 4:34 AM on November 7, 2005

longbaugh was this the one?
posted by adamvasco at 4:54 AM on November 7, 2005

Cheers adamvasco - it might have been the one. I do seem to remember a fair amount about aphasia in the discussion including the guys snickering away during a Reagan speech.

In fact, that's actually a rather clever idea. Instead of having a little cutaway in the corner of the screen with someone signing for the hearing impaired we can have an aphasic stand there giving us the thumbs up or down when the politician is telling pork pies.
posted by longbaugh at 5:39 AM on November 7, 2005

whats going on?

we are being given an audience before the great and powerful BoTW. assume the appropriate position of awe, wonder and humility.
posted by quonsar at 6:06 AM on November 7, 2005

Christ, are people still using ancient polygraph technology? All it does is allow you to detect stress; whether that stress is from guilt or the accusation itself is still hard to tell. Even the use of Event-Related Potentials are questionable.

You want to know how to beat a lie detector? Curl your toes on the control questions.
posted by Eideteker at 6:24 AM on November 7, 2005

Nothing but a cheap PR stunt. After they get done looking into the ethics of handling classified information, perhaps they should study the ethics of using cruel, humiliating and degrading treatment against prisoners.
posted by caddis at 6:58 AM on November 7, 2005

I'm told that by having read this, one is exempted from polygraphs. That shit definately doesn't work if you know how people are trained on it.
posted by jmgorman at 7:18 AM on November 7, 2005

I'm told that by having read this, one is exempted from polygraphs.

I actually read this kind of stuff and then failed a polygraph. It was a shame. Perhaps I should've said something about it.
posted by grobstein at 10:48 AM on November 7, 2005

Perhaps they're afraid the clown will eat them.
posted by Smedleyman at 11:07 AM on November 7, 2005

did you fail because you lied, grobstein, or because you didn't convince them you were telling the truth?

what was it like?
posted by andrew cooke at 12:04 PM on November 7, 2005

Because I couldn't convince them I was telling the truth, I think. Some of their questions involved personal, sensitive details of my life, and I got quite nervous merely knowing that the government was learning and potentially recording them. Each time those questions came up, I felt a new surge of anxiety, which may have suggested to the people reading the test results that I was being dishonest (I have no idea whether that's a plausible theory about how polygraphy works; it's just my guess). Whatever the case, it was an extremely harrowing experience and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

Actually, I can't guarantee I failed the polygraph, though. That's just what they told me; I don't think I had a legal right to or a good prospect of getting a better accounting.
posted by grobstein at 9:58 PM on November 8, 2005