Message from the Designers

November 18, 2005 6:24 AM

Intelligent Design.Traces of this epic masterpiece of creation can be found in all religious writings and traditions. It is to them that Moses, Jesus, Buddha and Mohammed referred. It is now time to welcome them. To your child's classroom.
posted by Otis (12 comments total)

Excerpted from the November 17 edition of the Columbus Dispatch (web site is paid subscription only):

In Kansas schools, science might no longer be limited to the search for natural explanations of phenomena. New definitions could open new research realms.

In Ohio, the state board adopted for its 10th-grade science-education standards most of a definition recommended by the Ohio Academy of Science. However, the board dropped academy language that scientific explanations must be accepted or rejected on the basis of evidence and not just accepted on faith.

Last year, while it was Ohio’s turn in the national spotlight, the State Board of Education did the same thing. "We changed the definition as well — very similarly, quite honestly," said Deborah Owens Fink, a state board member from Richfield.

Owens Fink acknowledged that the Ohio standards could open up discussions in science classes beyond those for intelligent design, which, like the idea of biblical creationism, is promoted by fundamentalist Christians.

It fits the belief held by some that extraterrestrial scientists brought DNA from another planet to get the ball of life rolling. That’s the belief of a quasireligious group known as the Raelians, who have become boosters of intelligent design.

The organization dates from 1973 when its founder, a French journalist named Rael, said he was visited by a 4-foot-tall man from space with long dark hair, olive skin and almond-shaped eyes. The Raelian Web site says the visitor told Rael to establish an embassy to receive the creators who are going to come to Earth.

Discussing that idea in class should be interesting, Owens Fink said. "A lot of students would be very engaged."
posted by Otis at 6:25 AM on November 18, 2005

Raelism: group sex and fast cars.

Now that's a religion with enduring appeal.
posted by meehawl at 6:31 AM on November 18, 2005

I also DEMAND, in the name of fairness and diversity, that they expose children to the Reverend Moon's teachings in biology class:

Little seems to shock Moon's followers--not even his unorthodox discourses about sex and anatomy. One of the unusual aspects of his sermons is that, although he talks relentlessly about the evils of "free sex"--that is, premarital sex, adultery, and homosexuality--he engages in intimate discussions of sexual activity, and he makes it clear that a fulfilling sex life within marriage makes God happy.

"Can we say that the waste of a holy man is holy waste?" he asked during a sermon on May 1st. "Can we say that the anus of a holy man is a holy anus?"

Nobody in the audience was quite sure what to say, so Moon continued: "On the human body we have many orifices, but which orifice does the baby come through, the most special one?"

"Sexual organ," a few people replied, tentatively.

"But doesn't urine also come out of there? Why? It's like that with a seed. You bury it under smelly topsoil. You understand?"

"Yes."

Moon noted that a man's penis-"love organ" was the term used by Peter Kim, looking a bit uneasy--goes into the same "hole" that urine flows through.

"Think about it," Moon said. "Do you think that hole is a dirty hole or holy hole?"

"Holy hole," someone ventured.

"Holy hole!" Moon bubbled in English. "Holy hole! Holy hole! Make sound!"

"Holy hole!" the crowd repeated.
posted by fleetmouse at 6:49 AM on November 18, 2005

Man was created by the Cylons.
posted by scarabic at 7:29 AM on November 18, 2005

fleetmouse: hahaha.

At least these Raelians are honest about being in a UFO cult. Did anyone else see South Park last night? They ripped on scientology, exposing all the OT-9 secret crap. I was surprised, because I thought Isaac Hayes, who plays Chef was a scientologist. Oh well.
posted by delmoi at 7:30 AM on November 18, 2005

I thought Isaac Hayes, who plays Chef was a scientologist.

Yknow, now that I think about it, it's been a while since we've seen Chef on the show. Maybe there's a connection.
posted by davelog at 7:53 AM on November 18, 2005

Aren't the Raelians the ones that always claim to be cloning human babies?

Oh... yep!
posted by basicchannel at 7:55 AM on November 18, 2005

This is about as smart as some of the other "theories" I've seen thrown against the edifice of evolution. Somehow I don't see this one sticking either though the group sex part helps some.
posted by fenriq at 8:04 AM on November 18, 2005

But doesn't urine also come out of there?

Uh...actually, no. Women have a separate urethra. Do I win a prize?
posted by Hildegarde at 8:36 AM on November 18, 2005

I love that the Raelians even named their book "Intelligent Design!" Slim chance it would actually pass through a curriculum development committee, but it sure would be fun to try to foist this cowpie into a Kansas school board meeting or something!
posted by kozad at 9:02 AM on November 18, 2005

I thought Isaac Hayes, who plays Chef was a scientologist.

Isaac Hayes is the spokesman for Scientology's World Literacy Crusade.
posted by eddydamascene at 9:44 AM on November 18, 2005

Do I win a prize?

You win me, saying: "Holy hole! Holy hole! Make sound!"
posted by Alt F4 at 12:34 PM on November 19, 2005