Welcome our Sylph Overlords!

November 25, 2005 11:15 AM

Chemtrails "are" the linear clouds formed by condensation behind high-altitude airliners. Sylphs "are" fourth-dimensional beings that are here to save us from the chemtrails. Check Sylphs Over Brea for photos, and Sylphs Battle Chemtrail Spew Planes Over Orange County for a quick view of this lunacy.
posted by five fresh fish (49 comments total)

The entire website is batshitinsane. Surprisingly, "sylphs" have never been posted to MeFi before.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:15 AM on November 25, 2005

I know a handful of sylphs personally, and can tell you with authority that this website is ridiculous.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:23 AM on November 25, 2005

Brilliant. Exactly the kind of madness that the web's intended for.
posted by chrismear at 11:25 AM on November 25, 2005

If the sylphs are so good at attacking the chemtrails, why are they still... oh never mind.

Did this remind anyone else of missile command?
posted by loquax at 11:26 AM on November 25, 2005

Another great bit of that site: playing mindgames with NSA while on the highway.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:30 AM on November 25, 2005 [2 favorites]

"They assume the appearance of very unique cloud shapes that will not be found within the pages of any cloud atlas found at any university offering diplomas in meteorology."

pffffrrrt
posted by stirfry at 11:34 AM on November 25, 2005

He sped up from 75 to 90 immediately, which seemed awfully odd, since gov't drones never speed-I think they get punished by their supervisors when they're caught. So, she got in his head and discovered that he's NSA, taking some broken psionic equipment from the Navy Ship that was being used to keep the dolphins away from us when we were at the beach....

Man.

My vacation seems so boring.
posted by verb at 11:34 AM on November 25, 2005 [1 favorite]

Of course, it's hard enough to convince some people that Sylphs even exist, let alone have the ability to transform chemtrails into ordinary clouds. But exist they do.

Amen.
posted by I Love Tacos at 11:40 AM on November 25, 2005

So, she got in his head and discovered that he's NSA, taking some broken psionic equipment from the Navy Ship that was being used to keep the dolphins away from us when we were at the beach.

I never see dolphins at the beach, and now I know why.
posted by Bort at 11:40 AM on November 25, 2005

At first I got a great laugh out of it, but the more I thought about it depressed me. I don't understand how people can believe this kind of stuff.
posted by tomplus2 at 11:42 AM on November 25, 2005

I don't know what lunacy you're talking about, there are pictures with red arrows. It all seems very well-argued and professional.
posted by OmieWise at 11:45 AM on November 25, 2005

Of course, it's hard enough to convince some people that Sylphs even exist, let alone have the ability to transform chemtrails into ordinary clouds. But exist they do.

Amen.
posted by I Love Tacos at 11:40 AM PST on November 25 [!]


It's true. I completely believe sylphs exists but am highly dubious over their cloud transforming abilities.
posted by Keith Talent at 11:51 AM on November 25, 2005

Somebody's got a chemtrail in their brain.
posted by scheptech at 11:52 AM on November 25, 2005

The only unfortunate part of it all, IMO, is that these people are upset at what they believe to be true. True, they get hope from their faith in sylphs, but that's more than countered by their faith in chemtrails. In their eyes, harm is being forced upon them by innumerable evil factions, and their only hope is in wispy cloud formations, dolphins, and orgone.

Not a particularly pleasant way to live, I should imagine.

A crippling faith, this syph fantasy.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:53 AM on November 25, 2005

From the NSA page: On that afternoon we were driving from Jupiter, our new home

Anyone who made it past this without giggling simply wasn't paying attention.
posted by planetthoughtful at 12:01 PM on November 25, 2005

The strangest thing about "Carol and Don's Highway Pastimes" is that any chunk of it would fit in perfectly with the word soup at the end of most spam.

v-1Ag-r=a!! 4 ch3ap!

If you can manage to be married to a telepath you'll get lots of new fun like this that others won't likely experience, though we're all telepaths when we're dead so it's not really a big deal-don't feel like you're lacking something.
posted by borkencode at 12:09 PM on November 25, 2005

those treasonous spew boys have even taken over the government.
posted by quonsar at 12:11 PM on November 25, 2005

I dunno, we see a lot of chemtrails here, but lately there have been a few that only leave a short trail that disappears almost immediately.

I'd assume this means those sylphs are kicking some ass right about now.
posted by First Post at 12:20 PM on November 25, 2005

The sylphs should set up a paypal site we can make donations to if we appreciate their work.
posted by Keith Talent at 12:35 PM on November 25, 2005

Wow.

And I thought Mormons were crazy. That whole story about "mind games" with the "feds" on the highway is worth reading, too.
posted by borkingchikapa at 12:42 PM on November 25, 2005

Omg--surely a joke! A phalanx of sylphs? A sylph armada?

This is really good. I am going to be showing this to everyone I know. Hee hee.
posted by flavor at 12:43 PM on November 25, 2005

Giant Sylphs Rule! Caution! Transmutation in Progress! Arms? Snout? Head? Horns? Back plate?
posted by flavor at 12:55 PM on November 25, 2005

no, it's actually called a contrail.
posted by GoodJob! at 12:59 PM on November 25, 2005

Damn, there goes my afternoon.
posted by Tenuki at 1:02 PM on November 25, 2005

Where do the flying rods enter into this?
posted by Vidiot at 1:18 PM on November 25, 2005

this guy is like the milkman conspiracy from Psychonauts.
posted by puke & cry at 1:51 PM on November 25, 2005 [1 favorite]

I saw something akin to flying rods on that site; pictures with an obvious dust mote. It was All Very Exciting for the delusional photographer.
posted by five fresh fish at 1:56 PM on November 25, 2005

Newsflash: some people have radically weird views of the world.
posted by moonbird at 1:59 PM on November 25, 2005

Be sure to check out the illustrated guide to making your own orgone devices.
posted by thewittyname at 2:16 PM on November 25, 2005

Project Stormfury has been studying this conflict since 1964.
posted by xod at 2:49 PM on November 25, 2005

Please listen to GoodJob! If I ever overhear someone call them a chemtrail, a part of me will die inside.

Contrails are cause by the reduced pressure in the vortexes trailing the plane. The lower pressure causes the atmospheric water vapor to condense.

Not nearly as interesting as sylph's and magic unicorns.
posted by BigFatWhale at 3:06 PM on November 25, 2005

Where are the snarks about laughing at the mentally ill? This seems to be the only thing we're not annoyingly PC about.
posted by jewzilla at 3:50 PM on November 25, 2005

There are many more wonderfully kooky chemtrail links here!
posted by AaronRaphael at 4:05 PM on November 25, 2005

BFW: chemtrails are chemical trails. Wholly different than mere contrails, which everyone knows are just water vapour.

Chemtrails are laid down by Evile Secret Government Forces, sprayed into the air. Mind control chemicals.
posted by five fresh fish at 4:26 PM on November 25, 2005

Heh. I saw a "chemtrail" here the other week, and remarked to my father how rare they are - you see a few about this time of year, maybe one a fortnight, but they're pretty uncommon and worth watching if you've nothing better to do. And, of course, I had to explain about the particular type of lunatic conspiracy theories that go along with them.

We had a good laugh about that.

Now I know the truth - the sylphs are just more hard-working, productive, and effective here. I feel so ashamed of my former disbelief and mocking attitude. To atone, I think I shall go down to the beach and telepathically rally the dolphins to unite against the secret alien/government sea base that undoubtedly exists off the coast...

(On preview: Ahh... So, how does one tell the difference between chemtrails and mere contrails? The colour? Dispersal pattern? Frequency? The ratio of NSA agents to dolphins in the vicinity?)
posted by Pinback at 4:30 PM on November 25, 2005

Be sure to check out the illustrated guide to making your own orgone devices.
posted by thewittyname at 2:16 PM PST on November 25

Don't need it. Got me own orgasm device right here.
posted by stirfry at 4:39 PM on November 25, 2005 [1 favorite]

Of course, it's hard enough to convince some people that Sylphs even exist, let alone have the ability to transform chemtrails into ordinary clouds. But exist they do.

I love how they say we might find the existence of Sylphs hard to believe but take it as a given that we believe in 'chem trails'.

Goodjob! and BigFatWhale, con trails exist, chemtrails are what some conspiracy nuts call them. (Is it ever mad clear why the spewboys are... erm spewing their chemical gasses all over us?)
posted by atrazine at 5:15 PM on November 25, 2005

John D. Rockefeller will soon leave this plane of existence. He will not be able to transfer to another body. Nor will he be able to set up shop in the lower astral. All his efforts were in vain.

Sorry, I couldn't resist this.
posted by atrazine at 5:21 PM on November 25, 2005

Where'd you find that bit, atrazine?
posted by five fresh fish at 5:37 PM on November 25, 2005

On Peak Oil: This is a big story. It's an attempt by the Illuminati, working through their number one propaganda production factory, the Tavistock Institute in the City of London, to create the illusion that the world is rapidly running out of oil and within a few short years, we will experience unemployemnt, wars, famine, and all manner of horrendous strife as a result of the fallout from the now "rapdily vanishing" oil supplies. It's a scam from top to bottom.

I am so relieved. Phew.
posted by jokeefe at 5:42 PM on November 25, 2005

BigFatWhale writes:

Contrails are cause by the reduced pressure in the vortexes trailing the plane. The lower pressure causes the atmospheric water vapor to condense.

Thing is, there just isn't much water vapor in the air at the altitude where jets fly. Contralls are mostly due to the water vapor from jet engine exhaust freezing in the frigid high-altitude air - which is why you can often see one contrail from each engine on the plane.

The colder air gets, the less moisture (humidity) it can hold - which is why dew forms overnight as the termperature drops - and at the altitudes where jet planes cruise the air is extremely cold, and therefore very dry. This is why the air onboard aircraft is so famously dry.

See also the Wikipedia entry on contrails.

Derail - is the belief in chemtrails any more delusional than the belief in a magical invisible superhero in the sky?
posted by kcds at 7:03 PM on November 25, 2005

is the belief in chemtrails any more delusional than the belief in a magical invisible superhero in the sky?

No. Contrails are visible.
posted by stirfry at 7:21 PM on November 25, 2005

fff: it's about 3/4 of the way down the linked page (yeah, I actually read that far...)
posted by atrazine at 8:13 PM on November 25, 2005

Q. The below excerpts show a contradiction: Which one is true? Are sylphs visible or not? Article 1 says 'no', while article 2 posts a photograph (not infrared) of a sylph.

A. ZSL made a brief mention in one of his recent postings to the fact that Sylphs traditionally have not taken form as clouds, but rather remain unseen except if captured on infrared film. HOWEVER, the situation today calls for Sylphs to make their presence known to people below who are waking up and they intentionally take cloud forms which they hope we will recognize and see that they are working with humanity, especially the orgone gifters, to destroy these chemtrails and the other destructive thngs the NWO is doing to our atmosphere.

Day-um! Shot down!
posted by brundlefly at 8:22 PM on November 25, 2005

My brother believes this crap. Not neccesarily the Sylphs, but the "chemtrails".
posted by The Cardinal at 2:04 AM on November 26, 2005

My brother believes in "chemtrails", too. The look of patronizing contempt on his face when anyone attempts to reason with him, ie: discuss contrails and their variations is a little frightening.

He has lots of company; chemtrails and the government conspiracies that make them possible are common knowledge in the mountain country of southern BC/northern Montana.

I'll tell him about the sylphs; maybe he'll relax his vigilance a smidge. In my (admittedly anecdotal) experience, these are scary people. They're not mere ditzelwits, but radicalized Christian fundies with a certainty that they're fighting oppression. Armed, too. :(
posted by reflecked at 2:21 AM on November 26, 2005

I had sylph once, but I took the medicine and it went away. The doctor said I had too much sex, and said I should use rubbers. I got hitched, instead. I hate rubbers, they are all too small.

A friend of mine recently wrote me something about these chemtrails, in context of something equally screwball. I responded by explaining where the science was wrong. I was shocked this friend was hooked into something that nuts.
posted by Goofyy at 9:13 AM on November 26, 2005

Personally, I am relieved to know now what Santa does on his down time.
posted by DeepFriedTwinkies at 5:27 PM on November 26, 2005

More mundane issues connected with the pollution caused by aircraft.

Clearly, there is a need for sylphs. In fact, if they didn't exist, someone would have to... oh, never mind.
posted by cleardawn at 4:57 PM on December 2, 2005