Sweet and unnatural

November 29, 2005 12:21 PM

(NSFW-but not porn) Never GIS "little mermaid," large size images, and click the second image from the left out of curiosity.If you do, don't look at the other galleries at the site, hypnotized and horrified. Furthermore, follow any of the links at your own peril. If you manage to make it to the Renderosity pages, you are expressly forbidden from looking at every single page of art by these three artists. Under no circumstances look at these unabashed masterpieces: "Damnedly Wanted," "Nooo, you ARE hansome," "9/11 Remembrance," "Cure for cancer," and god knows how many more. If you follow these instructions carefully, you will have successfully avoided the fairy(faerie, fae), poser, chibi, furry, and koshini scenes for the day.
posted by BlackLeotardFront (55 comments total)

Sorry if this is too freaky or weird or too close to porn for some people. It was just too utterly strange and terrifying and hilarious not to share.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 12:24 PM on November 29, 2005

Ok, I'm not looking. Kind of dumb to post stuff we're not supposed to look at, don't you think?
posted by Malor at 12:28 PM on November 29, 2005

Silly bear - it's just a conceit for the post. YOU HAVE TO LOOK.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 12:29 PM on November 29, 2005

By "faeries" what is meant here is apparently pre-adolescent children, no? Disturbing.

Malor, it's a conceit. You know, like sarcasm.
posted by jokeefe at 12:30 PM on November 29, 2005

Heh. Snap.
posted by jokeefe at 12:30 PM on November 29, 2005

Don't listen to them Malor. I'm not looking either.
posted by jouke at 12:32 PM on November 29, 2005

I'm going to jail now, thanks.
posted by The Jesse Helms at 12:33 PM on November 29, 2005

So are these skins for The Sims, or what?

Seriously, though, they're a little too creepy for me.
posted by danb at 12:36 PM on November 29, 2005

Whoa. My eyes are burning and I'm going to hell. I hope it's full of excessively smooth people with sharp faces. Oh, and handsome apes.

(I can't really figure out the 911 remembrance. Surely there was no beverage service over Manhattan?)
posted by OmieWise at 12:39 PM on November 29, 2005

I don't know what "koshini" means, and that surprises me. Unfortunately, I'm at work, so I'm not very inclined to Google it. What, pray tell, is the mockery-target minority this week?
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:40 PM on November 29, 2005

I also don't want to know why you were looking for "little mermaid" on google image search.
posted by ori at 12:42 PM on November 29, 2005

Normally when I want to look at fake people I just go to any resturant in SoHo, but this will do, saves a trip.

People are so nutty, bless their nutty, lonely hearts.
posted by Divine_Wino at 12:43 PM on November 29, 2005

No matter how strange or unlikely a pursuit may seem, there will be a legion of dedicated internet fans.
posted by Ynoxas at 12:50 PM on November 29, 2005

No . . .

My eyes! Aaah!!

My artistic sensibilities! Aaaaaaah!!!
posted by JeffK at 12:58 PM on November 29, 2005

The fact that MetaFilter sees no difference between the 'art' and 'art?' tags is a bug that requires immediate attention.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 1:04 PM on November 29, 2005

Wow. I had no idea the cast of the Final Fantasy movie were killed on 9/11.

RIP.
posted by fire&wings at 1:07 PM on November 29, 2005

I dunno. If I was going to post this I would've fleshed it out a bit more.

Like...don't GIS for Pocahontas and click on the 12th image. (goes here)

Yeah, so..again...why were you GISin' "little mermaid"?
posted by graventy at 1:14 PM on November 29, 2005

well done, BLF. You succeeded in getting me to look at almost all of those, you bastard.
posted by whatnot at 1:17 PM on November 29, 2005

Koshini is a cartoon 3D model sold here, used to create 3D renderings with Poser, DAZ/Studio and elsewhere. I never thought it had such a following that it had become a common word in some circles (I'm more a Victoria user myself). I wonder why Koshini had to move from its former home, the Utah-based DAZ 3D model house.

About GIS: some months ago, it started returning some very NSFW pics on its first page of results for when one searched for "horse", "pony", "dog", "pig" and a few other common animals. I guess a few kids had their horizons brutally expanded while looking for a nice animal pic to use for a school paper. Don't look, it's fixed now.
posted by elgilito at 1:23 PM on November 29, 2005

I'm not looking either, but I love this post.
posted by mrgrimm at 1:27 PM on November 29, 2005

Wow. I had no idea the cast of the Final Fantasy movie were killed on 9/11.

We must confront the threat of giant ghost bugs without delay.
posted by spiderwire at 1:33 PM on November 29, 2005

1- Since when is GIS a verb?
2- These images are all pretty below-avergae, both in the skill level and general tastelessness. Nothing shocking or disturbing, but I might be jaded.
posted by signal at 1:37 PM on November 29, 2005

As a usual non-fan of multilinked posts, my hats off to you for making it fun. Since I'm at work, this is a grab-bag that will have to wait until I'm within the confines of my cozy internet hutch.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 1:42 PM on November 29, 2005

I like their child nudity guidelines. Heh.
posted by delmoi at 1:44 PM on November 29, 2005

That's hot.
posted by Paris Hilton at 1:48 PM on November 29, 2005

What I find even more interesting than the pictures are the comments below. Not a single negative opinion. Amazing.
posted by brundlefly at 2:07 PM on November 29, 2005

Some of that shit doesn't even look legal -- manipulated or not, those 'people' are a bit young and a bit too photo-realistic for my taste.
posted by cedar at 2:09 PM on November 29, 2005

No matter how strange or unlikely a pursuit may seem, there will be a legion of dedicated internet fans.

This would be the "long tail" that Web 2.0 types are going on about?

On second thought, probably shouldn't do a GIS for "long tail" either.
posted by gimonca at 2:14 PM on November 29, 2005

Some of that shit doesn't even look legal -- manipulated or not, those 'people' are a bit young and a bit too photo-realistic for my taste.

Child porn is illegal because children are harmed in the making of it, not because it's gross. No harmed children, no illegality.
posted by delmoi at 2:47 PM on November 29, 2005

I can understand being squicked-out by the renderings that look like children. But they are not children: they are wholly invented images.

It bothers me that there may be laws that make it illegal to create an wholly imagined image or story. Seems a little too close to making it illegal to think things.
posted by five fresh fish at 2:48 PM on November 29, 2005

These are modeled in some kind of 3-d space, then rendered, right? The vast majority seem almost totally flat. My oeil is not being tromped.
posted by bingbangbong at 2:49 PM on November 29, 2005

" Dramatic and emotive. Howl at the world, it helps!"

Worth every penny for that line alone.
posted by Frasermoo at 2:53 PM on November 29, 2005

See, this is why the internet needs taste cops. Kids may not have been harmed in the making of these images, but just think what they're doing to the ones who see them. We're creating a world of Anne Rice fans.
posted by londonmark at 2:57 PM on November 29, 2005

tres creepy
posted by bumpkin at 3:02 PM on November 29, 2005

Hmm, I think I get it - on the Renderosity site they advertise that figures are "available" for the "artists" to use. Then this is manipulation of ready-made material.

So this is where the paint-by-numbers people have gone.
posted by QuietDesperation at 3:07 PM on November 29, 2005

Once I got past the Uncanny Valley heebie-jeebies, I started wondering: If rendering gets lifelike enough, is it an alternative to child porn, since the images are wholly imaginary?
posted by alumshubby at 3:11 PM on November 29, 2005

alumshabby: it's old but this article seems to say that generated child porn is protected under free speech.
posted by sexymofo at 4:25 PM on November 29, 2005

I've kinda wanted to share this gallery (NSFW: much of it is porn) with everyone for a while, but haven't had the chance. now's a good time, I think. I love people with skill, dedication, time on their hands, and terrible fantasies.
posted by carsonb at 4:34 PM on November 29, 2005

I know what you mean carsonb, and in that spirit here's HairyMenArt. I had intended to make a FPP with that link but didn't think it would go over very well. Mario, Noooooo! (Both links nsfw.)
posted by Tenuki at 5:03 PM on November 29, 2005

Oh, thanks a BUNCH carsonb!
(The captions are almost as excruciating as the art).
Wish, wish I'd said no:)
posted by Jody Tresidder at 5:07 PM on November 29, 2005

Carsonb: Oh my god I laughed. Here's some professional work I noticed recently.
posted by uni verse at 5:09 PM on November 29, 2005

Someone up there disparaged paint-by-numbers.

There's nothing wrong with paint-by-numbers.

Not that a lit match can't fix, anyways.
posted by five fresh fish at 5:11 PM on November 29, 2005

I meant to say here's some professional work.
posted by uni verse at 5:11 PM on November 29, 2005

Oh, dammit, carsonb, now I have to go pour bleach into my eyes. Ima sue you!
posted by five fresh fish at 5:12 PM on November 29, 2005

Wow, these galleries are great. It's like a whole world full of people who just huffed air duster.
posted by afroblanca at 8:23 PM on November 29, 2005

this image is intresting. I like how he added under-eye wrinkles to an obviously pre-pubecent girl for extra 'reality'. Plus industral chain for braids..
posted by delmoi at 8:54 PM on November 29, 2005

Oh, and Happy 9th for the same model...
posted by delmoi at 8:55 PM on November 29, 2005

I wasn't really fazed until I saw delmoi's last two comments. Now I'm squicked.
posted by kosher_jenny at 9:58 PM on November 29, 2005

I'm not sure if I'm more squicked by the images, or by delmoi. Dude, why are you looking for the stuff?
posted by five fresh fish at 10:15 PM on November 29, 2005

These people have waaay too much time on their hands.
posted by neuron at 10:32 PM on November 29, 2005

Nine! Thanks delmoi. time to take a shower.

Glad you all enjoyed it. Hope I influenced your dreams a bit...
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 11:02 PM on November 29, 2005

I've just cleared my cache. I suggest you do the same. Actually, is there a plugin for Firefox that overwrites the cache with random data when you clear it?
posted by breath at 11:08 PM on November 29, 2005

Oh, I'll say you influenced my dreams. That ape on the right is going to be starring in my nightmare for weeks to come.
posted by maryh at 11:08 PM on November 29, 2005

Jesus. I'm probably on a LIST somewhere now!
posted by 235w103 at 12:31 AM on November 30, 2005

Uni verse: Thanks for the link. Some of that art is sweet!
posted by Bugbread at 8:56 AM on November 30, 2005