Join 3,572 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)


AAAAAAAAAAGH
November 30, 2005 7:29 AM   Subscribe

Qigong is the ancient Chinese art of movement and breathing to increase energy, one of its grandmasters being Tu Jin-Sheng of the 99 Qigong. Qigong can be used to relieve stress and maintain good health. Or, if you're like Jin-Sheng, you can use it to tie a truck to your penis and pull it across a parking lot.
posted by XQUZYPHYR (16 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
Until I read the last link, I was terrified this was going to be worthy.

Thank you sir!
posted by Swandive at 7:47 AM on November 30, 2005


Is Qigong the same as faulin gong?
posted by delmoi at 7:47 AM on November 30, 2005


I gotta figure out why I don't click links here to subjects I care about. This post may be a clue.
posted by pointilist at 7:59 AM on November 30, 2005


Yeah, but was the parking brake on?
posted by monju_bosatsu at 8:02 AM on November 30, 2005


Where's the NSFW tag?!?!
Just kidding.

Delmoi: shouldn't that be falun dong?
posted by papakwanz at 8:16 AM on November 30, 2005


Is Qigong the same as faulin gong?

Nah, not really, tho most of the exercise portion of Falun Gong appears to be ripped off from Chi Gong. (or qigong, if you prefer)

Chi Gong is just an exercise system that broadly resembles yoga with less extreme stretching. Chi gong is like Tai Chi without any of the martial aspect. You might do Tai Chi for your whole life without ever expecting to spar, but that component exists. Not so with Chi Gong, it's just exercises.

Falun Gong has an exercise component, but is more of a philosophical system/mild cult. They don't really do brainwashing, but they get pretty damn culty in their insistence on member having the same opinions. There's a good Wikipedia article.

Anyway, Chi Gong suffers from a malady of the martial arts. A dangerous weakness for flim-flam wrapped in mysticism. (see my earlier post here.)Csicop has a great article about the history of chi gong, and why it's a problem. There's a crapload of parlor tricks often pulled off by 'Masters of Chi Gong" that involve all the ususal stuff that any amateur conjuror could pull off with a little practice. Bed of nails, snuffing candles, etc.

I did Chi Gong for a couple years after my knees askes me to stop doing Shaolin Kenpo. It was fine, but ultimately just exercise. I remain unable to affect my bank balance with my mind.
posted by lumpenprole at 8:33 AM on November 30, 2005


What a dick.
posted by stinkycheese at 8:59 AM on November 30, 2005


I remember reading about the "chi kung swindlers" in a book sometime in the late 1980s. It was a cool book...
posted by bugmuncher at 9:02 AM on November 30, 2005


"If it's painful," he said, "then you will see it bleed."

AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
posted by BobFrapples at 9:09 AM on November 30, 2005


A Russian doctor grew a penis on a man's arm? Speaking of flim-flam...
posted by Paddle to Sea at 10:22 AM on November 30, 2005


In lace-up leather boots and a black tank top, the 50-year-old tied a strip of blue fabric around the base of his penis and testicles and tugged to make sure it was on tight. An assistant kicked him hard between the legs before he lashed himself to the vehicle.

He groaned, grunted and pressed against two men for resistance.


Well, we have a term for that here in the States, too, and it ain't "qigong".
posted by darkstar at 11:21 AM on November 30, 2005


Or, more accurately, two words: bondage and discipline.
posted by darkstar at 11:21 AM on November 30, 2005


“A dangerous weakness for flim-flam wrapped in mysticism” -umpenprole

I enjoy the internal side of martial arts. I understand the summoning of sexual energy from tantric yoga and how it can energize the will. Strangely, I’ve avoided subjecting my genitalia to brutality or making a big show about how much I’ve accomplished.
Perhaps I was taught all wrong.

Yeah. This is a serious case of not seeing the forest for the trees. All ego crap. Irritating, because breathing exercises are good for mental clarity and body control (not the bed of nails or ripping phone books in half kind). Perhaps the niftiest (fighting) thing I’ve seen done with qigong is summoning an adrenal response without stimuli. Useful if you’re planning to clock someone.
I’m curious if all berserkers used fly agaric or some used similar techniques. I wonder about the Filipinos as well (it’s why we have the 1911 Colt .45).
posted by Smedleyman at 1:35 PM on November 30, 2005


"I just came here to watch my master perform."

He just likes to watch.
posted by Moral Animal at 1:36 PM on November 30, 2005


I’m curious if all berserkers used fly agaric or some used similar techniques. I wonder about the Filipinos as well (it’s why we have the 1911 Colt .45).

Santa was a berserker?

I wonder about the Royal Marines.
posted by homunculus at 3:43 PM on November 30, 2005


darkstar: did you see the picture further down? classic.
posted by carsonb at 8:41 PM on November 30, 2005


« Older Tom Wolfe is screaming. "Aaaaaaaahh! Wait, no, tha...   |   Arcade Classics from the '80s.... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments