Crunch all you want! We'll give you food poisoning!

December 9, 2000 9:13 PM

Crunch all you want! We'll give you food poisoning!
"The corn has not been approved for human consumption..!" Run for your lives! The nation and the world faces a crisis today as Cheetos and Funyuns supplies drop to critical lows, and the competition among snack foods is fierce! The nation is suffering a Cheetos crunch! This has got to be one of the funniest melodramatic pieces ever to come out of the DeMoN. Just pretend Dan Rather is reading the copy to you. Or better yet, Walter Cronkite.
posted by ZachsMind (5 comments total)

The nation is suffering a Cheetos crunch.

And science is to blame.

Damn scientists!

posted by grimmelm at 11:12 PM on December 9, 2000

Hey!
posted by shylock at 12:19 AM on December 10, 2000

Personally, I'm waiting with bated breath for genetically-modified kidney beans.

That way I can have Frankenbeans for lunch.
posted by dhartung at 9:38 AM on December 10, 2000

I ate a bag of these Cheetos. I now suffer constant nosebleeds (which are green, by the way), my breath smells, and I can feel my DNA being altered inside me. Where's David Boies?
posted by aaron at 1:00 PM on December 10, 2000

Damn it all to Hell! Thats why the quick-stop only had those stupid Fiery-hot cheetos.
posted by th3ph17 at 1:02 PM on December 10, 2000