Comments on: The Lord's Wal-Mart

The Lord's Wal-Mart

thisisdrew — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 22:03:19 -0800

By: Optimus Chyme

Optimus Chyme — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 22:05:56 -0800

what the shit

By: Optimus Chyme

Optimus Chyme — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 22:08:13 -0800

okay, this is why we can't take you seriously, guys

By: milnak

milnak — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 22:08:22 -0800

That certainly looked Photoshopped, and I guess it could be, but it certainly matches the layout of the real paper. Maybe I was just hoping that it was a fake.

By: deusdiabolus

deusdiabolus — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 22:26:38 -0800

That sums up America pretty good right there.

By: strangeleftydoublethink

strangeleftydoublethink — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 22:28:41 -0800

I heard the Lord had a fear of nails. How could he build a Wal-Mart.

By: Opposite George

Opposite George — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 22:34:20 -0800

Well, even if it's a real story, invoking a higher power upon the commencement of a business venture is nothing new.

By: Opposite George

Opposite George — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 22:36:18 -0800

(but this still tickles my funny bone.)

By: booksandlibretti

booksandlibretti — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 22:41:14 -0800

I'm not convinced. Go to that paper's site. You'll need to register for an account, but you can plug in any info you like and it'll go through automatically. Do an advanced search for Wal-Mart, or for any other words you can identify in the article pictured, for the day the masthead says it was published. You get some articles (like a basic summary and an op-ed, both published a day before the picture's masthead says). You don't get an article with the picture's headline. Or one by the picture's reporter. Or one that starts the same way, or continues the same way, or has too many words in common that I can detect. You do get a confirmation on the name Lester Packingham, but the paper's site's version says he's (a? the?) manager. The paper's site also confirms that he prays at the ceremony, but it doesn't quote from relevant remarks except to state that he said "I'm not gonna preach, but we've got to say a short prayer" and that he went on to "express ... thanks for the hundreds of jobs the store has offered." Even allowing for some kind of bug that prevents the pictured story from showing up on the site, what are the chances that the paper's front-page story is the exact same story, told differently and written by different reporters, for two days in a row?

By: stirfry

stirfry — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 22:43:16 -0800

This is the day that the Lord has made! We shall rejoice and be glad in the link to the Flickr pic.

By: thisisdrew

thisisdrew — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 22:45:09 -0800

amen

By: Stauf

Stauf — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 22:50:17 -0800

Um. Wal-mart Dance Party.

By: Token Meme

Token Meme — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 23:23:44 -0800

If that's not weird enough for ya, check out this mural on a wall in Mianyang, China [self-flickr-link].

By: jettloe

jettloe — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 23:32:10 -0800

another reason I'm glad I moved to the UK...oh right, they bought ASDA ....damn.

By: Colloquial Collision

Colloquial Collision — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 23:50:18 -0800

The Wal-Mart Dance Parties are a great idea.

By: Saucy Intruder

Saucy Intruder — Wed, 30 Nov 2005 23:51:20 -0800

This is the day that the Lord of the Dance has made! We shall rejoice and be glad in the new Wal-Mart that the Lord of the Dance has made. Hmm.. That begins to make a little more sense.

By: Meccabilly

Meccabilly — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 00:52:09 -0800

another reason I'm glad I moved to the UK...oh right, they bought ASDA ....damn. There is no danger of ASDA becoming as big as Wal-Mart. Tesco on the other hand....

By: ori

ori — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 02:11:16 -0800

this is the new american religion in a rare moment of clarity.

By: Rothko

Rothko — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 02:13:33 -0800

You should see the Albuquerque Mirror's extra edition with the Satan/Costco quote. Shocking.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 02:22:22 -0800

Fuck ~~Zell Miller~~ Wal-Mart.

By: sgt.serenity

sgt.serenity — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 02:30:32 -0800

"This is the day that the Lord has made! We shall rejoice and be glad in the new Wal-Mart that the Lord has made." Yanks get a Wal-Mart , Europeans get the Sistine Chapel. Draw your own conclusions.

By: elpapacito

elpapacito — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 03:14:24 -0800

And if you hurry up to aisle 69 you're going to get a free circumcision or infibulation ! Who says Walmurt hates ammeruka ?

By: furtive

furtive — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 04:22:13 -0800

The Body of Christ, Amen.

By: donfactor

donfactor — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 05:07:10 -0800

http://www.thecross-photo.com/images/In-God-We-Trust.jpg Is this the body of America crucified?

By: languagehat

languagehat — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 05:27:37 -0800

Fake. But enjoy the fun.

By: putzface_dickman

putzface_dickman — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 05:43:26 -0800

The Lord giveth a Wal-Mart, the Lord taketh away high prices.

By: fet

fet — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 05:45:40 -0800

Yeah, but the Sistene Chapel doesn't have 50lb bags of dog chow or a $5 DVD bin... who really is getting the better end of that one.

By: zsazsa

zsazsa — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 05:52:40 -0800

Pull quotes like this usually aren't included in online versions of newspaper stores. However, due to the nature of the pull quote, it should be in the body of the article. I've seen "non-pull pull quotes" before, though...

By: PinkStainlessTail

PinkStainlessTail — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 05:57:55 -0800

Yanks get a Wal-Mart , Europeans get the Sistine Chapel. Draw your own conclusions. Sorry laddie, I couldn't hear you over the sound of deep fried Mars bars on your end.

By: lodurr

lodurr — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 06:28:34 -0800

Yes, but they won't say "Merry Christmas", so we must boycott them.

By: JeffK

JeffK — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 06:54:46 -0800

Oh. My. God.

By: Uther Bentrazor

Uther Bentrazor — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 07:32:17 -0800

I heard the Lord had a fear of nails. How could he build a Wal-Mart. Because he was a carpenter?

By: KevinSkomsvold

KevinSkomsvold — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 07:53:17 -0800

The Lord Made Dick Van Patten Eat Dog Food.

By: skallas

skallas — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 08:01:32 -0800

Dammit, when will they teach Intelligent Retail Design at our schools!? Clearly, no mere man could have built Walmart. Seriously, looks fake, if not its a bad editorial decision to run quotes from nuts. I mean, what's next an astrology section in every paper in the US. Oh wait...

By: bugbread

bugbread — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 08:43:59 -0800

deusdiabolus : "That sums up America pretty good right there." Must be dropping a lot of fractions in that math, though. Doesn't reflect the US I know. Must be the New Math.

By: First Post

First Post — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 09:00:22 -0800

What, you doubt they'd pray over a Wal-Mart? Have you ever heard the corporate anthem they force the employees to sing every morning? "WHO IS THE BEST?" "WE ARE!" "WHO SHOULD WE WORK TO BE LIKE?" "MR. SAM!" "WHO DO WE LOVE?" "EVERYONE!" and etc. Plenty of groupthink involved, assuredly.

By: baphomet

baphomet — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 09:02:16 -0800

"Look at all this great shit Jesus gave us to buy! Where's my credit card?"

By: dios

dios — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 09:30:45 -0800

Ok, this is appears to be a hoax, so why hasn't it been deleted? Do we really need yet another pretext to show our disdain for Christians, shoppers at Walmart, and whatever further tortured generalizations we can squeeze out of this hoax?

By: bugbread

bugbread — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 09:43:40 -0800

dios : "Ok, this is appears to be a hoax, so why hasn't it been deleted?" My guess: Because it appears to be a hoax, but has not been established as one? If it can be reasonably proved a hoax, it should probably be deleted, and if it can be reasonably proved real, it should stay, and when in doubt it should probably be left until established one way or the other. Hence, it has not been deleted. Just my guess.

By: raedyn

raedyn — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 09:58:53 -0800

Have you ever heard the corporate anthem they force the employees to sing every morning? - First Post Gawd, do they still do that? When WalMart first was here about 10 years ago (maybe a little longer than that) I had a friend that worked there and told me about it. I thought it was weird and creepy. I assumed that they'd done away with it by now. Anyways, I doun't doubt they'd pray over Wal-Mart, but I think booksandlibretti has done a pretty thorough job of debunking this.

By: potch

potch — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 10:40:16 -0800

Casual perusal of the site's archives looking for the posted article brought me to this delightful op-ed piece. Regardless of the veracity of this article, the viewpoint depicted therein seems pretty spot-on. I'm not saying everyone around there is like this, but people like this really bother me on some deep level that I can't define.

By: 2sheets

2sheets — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 10:40:21 -0800

"Do we really need yet another pretext to show our disdain for Christians" Oh boo fucking hoo. Nobody's been thrown to the lions yet, crybaby.

By: potch

potch — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 10:42:03 -0800

..."'Let's give them all a Wal-Mart salute!' Packingham shouted. 'Saaaaaaa-lute!' employees said, giving the salute signal with their right hands." delightful.

By: BlackLeotardFront

BlackLeotardFront — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 11:00:13 -0800

Looks fake to me.

By: ChasFile

ChasFile — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 11:54:34 -0800

Why is this funny?

By: Opposite George

Opposite George — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 12:39:26 -0800

Why is this funny? Okay, I'll bite. To me it's funny primarily because the invocation of the Lord in secular matters reminds me of a classic comedic archetype -- the Church Lady/Pious Man. Aunt Esther always makes me laugh. The priests blessing Zorba's conveyor -- also funny. Plus, the common conception of Wal-Mart's business practices and treatment of employees, well, that and the time a Wal-Mart resold toys donated for a charity drive mean it's difficult for me, with my understanding of the faith, to think of them as an especially Christian organization. I'm not commenting on how true any of these conceptions are, and it really doesn't matter in answering the question "Why did OG laugh," but when somebody mentions Wal-Mart, "Now there's a bunch of folks doing the Lord's work!" isn't usually the first thing off my tongue. So the quote has the irony thing going for it, too. So I guess that's why I laughed. Hope this helps.