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December 2, 2005 8:25 AM   Subscribe

"311, I am ready to fight." Tough times for Scott Stapp. via.
posted by klangklangston (65 comments total)

 
I just read this this morning and posted the same quote on my own blog... that's possibly one of the funniest things I've ever heard. I picture the entire scene like the one in Zoolander. "Back off, Zane!"
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 8:26 AM on December 2, 2005


"But Jonathan Jordan, director of security at the hotel, said the incident was captured on security cameras. He said Stapp was "attacked" by several members of 311 and that it took two security guards to break up the fight.

"It was definitely started by 311," Jordan said."
posted by quonsar at 8:34 AM on December 2, 2005


Yeah but in the Daily News this morning it said that the reason the fight was started by 311 is that Stapp was insulting one of the 311's wives. So it sounds like Stapp deserved an ass whoopin. Well, I mean, he deserves as ass whoopin for unleashing his shitty music on us, but that's really not something 311 should be steppin up to the plate for either.
posted by spicynuts at 8:37 AM on December 2, 2005


Best of formerly of Creed.

Let he who has not rocked throw the first punch.
posted by srboisvert at 8:40 AM on December 2, 2005


Stapp is a trainwreck and Creed always sucked.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 8:40 AM on December 2, 2005


I am in favor of any activity that involves a memeber of Creed receiving a sound beating.
posted by unreason at 8:43 AM on December 2, 2005


Unreason: The shame of it is that there were no fatalities or career-ending injuries on either side.
posted by klangklangston at 8:45 AM on December 2, 2005


What started this whole thing was when Stapp challenged the claim that "amber" was the color of her energy. In his opinion it was more of a lemon chiffon.

Then all hell broke loose.
posted by Rawhide at 8:46 AM on December 2, 2005


Unreason: The shame of it is that there were no fatalities or career-ending injuries on either side.
posted by klangklangston at 11:45 AM EST on December 2 [!]


There's still hope. Stapp could always insult The Wallflowers, or something.
posted by unreason at 8:47 AM on December 2, 2005


Yeah... I used to love 311, but they have totally sold out. The fact that they will be associated with Strapp is all the more insulting. On a positive note, at least they beat his ass.
posted by j-urb at 8:52 AM on December 2, 2005


Oh, why couldn't all of these lame frat-rock shitbirds have been gunned down by the police in the melee?
posted by BobFrapples at 8:54 AM on December 2, 2005


Oh, why couldn't all of these lame frat-rock shitbirds have been gunned down by the police in the melee?
posted by BobFrapples at 11:54 AM EST on December 2 [!]


Well, we could always send them on a trip to Singapore...
posted by unreason at 8:57 AM on December 2, 2005


Next time someone posts an AskMe question about "Help Me Name My Band" I'm going to suggest The Frat-Rock Shitbirds. Or maybe The Scott Stapp Beat Down.
posted by spicynuts at 8:58 AM on December 2, 2005


Anybody remember that period of Late Night when Conan would just randomly stand up and sing, in a Scott Stappish sort of way, "With arms wide open"? That was always funny.
posted by billysumday at 9:03 AM on December 2, 2005


Have there been any fights between bands that don't suck? Because then, I'd care...
posted by zekinskia at 9:17 AM on December 2, 2005


Have there been any fights between bands that don't suck?

There was the time Bonnie Bramlett decked a drunken Elvis Costello for making racist comments about Ray Charles. Then there was the time Handsome Dick Manitoba of the Dictators was drunkenly heckling transsexual punk rocker Wayne/Jayne County and she swung a mike stand at him, breaking his collar bone. They seem to have patched it up, as have Bonnie & Elvis purportedly.
posted by jonmc at 9:25 AM on December 2, 2005


Yeah, but Jon, he said bands that don't suck.
posted by klangklangston at 9:27 AM on December 2, 2005


*begins assembling rifle*
posted by jonmc at 9:27 AM on December 2, 2005


This just in:

Ex-singer of second rate, has-been rock band starts fight with a second rate, has-been rock band. Unfortunately, everyone lived.

In other news...
posted by spirit72 at 9:27 AM on December 2, 2005


Amazing that two musical acts I don't give a shit about could bring me this much delight with their off-stage antics... the world would be a better place if we could have more of this!
posted by cusack at 9:34 AM on December 2, 2005


Stapp also couldn't resist taking swipes at his more famous rock colleagues. "I met [U2's] Bono and The Edge, and Bono was an a- to me," he declared...

...When a crew member accidently bumped into him on the set and quickly said he was sorry, Stapp snapped, "Yeah, you better f-ing be."


I don't think Mr. Stapp appreciates irony.
posted by iron chef morimoto at 9:38 AM on December 2, 2005


Jon: The shot was there, and I had to take it.

(For other Stapp-related craziness, has anyone read the second link?)
posted by klangklangston at 9:38 AM on December 2, 2005


I'm eagerly awaiting the flash animation.
posted by drezdn at 9:40 AM on December 2, 2005


Did someone say shot??

*cocks hammer*

I know. I'm fucking with you. But it is surprising how all 4 parties involved in the incidents I mentioned (esp. Costello) managed to survive with heir standing relatively unscathed
posted by jonmc at 9:40 AM on December 2, 2005


I think this is even better. Mr. Stapp looks for some poontang and gets punked. Not sure if the link works as it's blocked from work.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 9:42 AM on December 2, 2005


On preview/postview/whatever, Mr. Klangston beat me to it.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 9:43 AM on December 2, 2005


Have there been any fights between bands that don't suck?

I'm not clear about the object of suckiness here. Is it the bands that are supposed to not suck, or is it the fight that's not supposed to suck?

Either way, I propose the Jarvis Cocker/Michael Jackson ass-kicking.

Jarvis doesn't suck. Wacko may be insane, but in his heyday he didn't suck. (OK, perhaps he sucked little boys penises, but the music didn't suck.)

And the fight didn't suck either.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 9:44 AM on December 2, 2005


Yeah, but Jon, he said bands that don't suck.
posted by klangklangston at 12:27 PM EST on December 2 [!]

If you're trying to say that Elvis Costello sucks, we're gonna have to take this outside, son.
posted by Mikey-San at 9:45 AM on December 2, 2005


Klang...that story went nowhere. That's all they could come up with was to have him hang around in a Denny's while everyone hounded him for autographs? He's probably such a douche he didn't even realize he was being punk'd. Where was the punch line?
posted by spicynuts at 9:45 AM on December 2, 2005


i just got through the creed guy at denny's story... just as good, if not better than the first link! best of the web, indeed.
posted by cusack at 9:46 AM on December 2, 2005


Stapp is a trainwreck and Creed always sucked.

duh.

the world would be a better place if we could have more of this

didn't somebody say the world would be much better off with more bloody noses ... can't think of it.
posted by mrgrimm at 9:46 AM on December 2, 2005


Scott Stapp is exactly the kind of pious asshole that really pisses me off. I bet in a few more years he'll sober up, become even more holier than us and apologize to all the people he's hurt when he was under the Devil Brew's influence.

Problem with people like that is they never get that they control themselves not God or Satan. These forces (if they do exist) don't force you to do bad or good you do, so own up to it...prick.
posted by aaronscool at 9:49 AM on December 2, 2005


Spicynuts: Creed + Denny's = Comedy. Surely that juxtaposition is strange enough to be funny, no? It's like Madonna hanging out at the local 7-11.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 9:51 AM on December 2, 2005


Ok. Glen Danzig getting "knocked the fuck out."
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 9:53 AM on December 2, 2005


If the Bonnie Bramlett you're talking about is one half of Delaney and Bonnie or Bonnie and Delaney from way back when I was in my prime, then I'm going to have to ask you to step outside all over again, cause they were just the best at what they did (when they did it).
On topic: why should we care about this?
posted by Hobgoblin at 9:58 AM on December 2, 2005


If the Bonnie Bramlett you're talking about is one half of Delaney and Bonnie

Indeed it was. And I'll take him outside of the insult to the Dics. We got us a brawl of our own!
posted by jonmc at 10:02 AM on December 2, 2005


spicynuts the punchline is here-- when Stapp solicits cocaine from a fan and the girl who punked him goes through his stuff. At least I thought so anyway.
posted by Kimberly at 10:10 AM on December 2, 2005


insult to the Dics

Wow, it's been a very long time since I've seen any reference to Handsome Dick Manitoba. I think he was responsible for one of my all-time favourite couplets:

'My favourite part of growing up,
Was getting sick and throwing up'


Any idea what the song was?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:13 AM on December 2, 2005


Teengenerate, right?

The Dictators are one of my all time favorite bands (and imo, the missing link between 70's butt-rock and proto-punk).

They did a reunion album a few years back and still play the occasional gig. HDM owns a bar on Ave B that I drink at occasionaly. The reuninon album contained this gem (yousendit link, follow prompts), which neatly encapsulates my political philosophy.
posted by jonmc at 10:24 AM on December 2, 2005


It's like Madonna hanging out at the local 7-11.

You're putting Stapp on the same level as Madonna?

Actually I thought the only funny part was that Creed got his sister to drive him to the booty call. The rest felt like a set up for a really good punch line that never actually came. And I'll tell you why it didn't arrive - because this is the mentality of the people doing the punking:

"I, thinking I could rob him, invited him back up to my apartment. ... All I got the chance to take was his boarding pass from his Miami to Orlando flight, some of his klonopin, ..."

It's too bad there wasn't someone more clever around to take full advantage of the potential of the Stapp + Denny's set up.
posted by spicynuts at 10:26 AM on December 2, 2005


KevinSkomsvold writes "Spicynuts: Creed + Denny's = Comedy."

This is so true. I was disappointed that there wasn't more to the story, but not disappointed by the story.
posted by OmieWise at 10:26 AM on December 2, 2005


this gem (same drill) from Bloodbrothers should be the National Anthem if you ask me.

(ok, enough fanboying)
posted by jonmc at 10:31 AM on December 2, 2005


... Bonnie Bramlett decked a drunken Elvis Costello ...

Nitpickerfilter: Yes, Elvis was drunk, but it was Steven Stills, not Bonnie Bramlett. At least, that's Elvis's version. (She was there, though, and Elvis said he completely deserved it.) (Source: Rolling Stone profile of EC from sometime in the summer of '82.)
posted by lodurr at 10:41 AM on December 2, 2005


He's just embarassed that a woman flattened him. But Bonnie's a tough broad, and a great singer.
posted by jonmc at 10:42 AM on December 2, 2005


You're putting Stapp on the same level as Madonna?

You are correct. My apologies to Mr. Stapp.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 11:05 AM on December 2, 2005


jonmc, entirely possible. But I heard the Stephen Stills part from another source, too, so....

Tall, for sure, as I recall. I remember her from when she used to be a semi-regular on Roseanne. Had the look of being one of those women who knows what to do in a bar fight.
posted by lodurr at 11:23 AM on December 2, 2005


From Optimus Chyme's link:
Maybe rocker Scott Stapp - former front man for the very pious Christian rock band Creed - was possessed by Satan when he showed up for a taping of the Spike TV show "Casino Cinema" on Tuesday afternoon.
...
viewers can see Stapp's bad behavior for themselves - with appropriate bleeps, of course - when the show airs Dec. 6.


/goes home and sets DVR for that night.
posted by NoMich at 11:24 AM on December 2, 2005


Jon: Not sure why, but your YSIs aren't loading at all for me...
posted by klangklangston at 11:35 AM on December 2, 2005


they may be getting "MeFi'd."
posted by jonmc at 11:41 AM on December 2, 2005


You have to imagine it like it's Dragonball.

"311, I AM READY TO FIGHT! KAMAYAMAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" (planet explodes)
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 11:41 AM on December 2, 2005


This is all so that he can "reform" and have something to talk about on his inevitable Christian TV show.
posted by First Post at 11:43 AM on December 2, 2005


XQUZYPHYR, if this were Dragonball, it would be more like:

"311, I AM READY TO FIGHT! KAMAYAMAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" (to be continued)
posted by Mikey-San at 11:58 AM on December 2, 2005


Hot damn, those two links brightened my day. Thanks, klangklangston.
posted by kryptondog at 1:14 PM on December 2, 2005


Nice title, BTW.

I take Elvis at his word for saying that the Ray Charles comment was the dumbest thing he's ever done.

That said, anyone remember the controversy over 311 being a KKK front?
posted by bardic at 2:10 PM on December 2, 2005


I rode in a hotel elevator with Mr. Stapp in Chicago back in 2003. He was in some sort of state. He had a look on his face that suggested he was about to burst into tears. There was a female with him who appeared to be trying to comfort him. I thought at the time the guy must have some serious personal problems.
posted by Carbolic at 2:59 PM on December 2, 2005


Yes bardic, and they've denied it unequivocally several times. I mean, how can any band with reggae influences be into the KKK?

billysumday, that's what popped in my head when I read this story -- Conan singing WAWO.

I know it's popular to pick on Stapp, but I couldn't hate him more...and Bono and Edge get some points for "being assholes" to him.
posted by Devils Slide at 3:53 PM on December 2, 2005


What would Jesus do? Drive to the Gainesville Denny's for a booty call, apparently.
posted by notsnot at 4:08 PM on December 2, 2005


im so glad creed being in the news is bringing up my favorite story of the year: the scott stapp gainesville dennys saga. my friend was there (it was a large group) and wrote the initial writeup that i later sent to some gossip sites for him.

yeah there is no real great punchline to the whole punk'd affair. i mean its a true story without the aid of writers and actors all pulled off by a bunch of nervous kids on the fly. im surprised it got as far as it did.

if anyone is doubting its validity (which i hope after more and more comes out about him, no one would) i can vouch for it. lots of people in florida have their scott stapp stories. this 311 one is no surprise.
posted by c at 7:37 PM on December 2, 2005


im so glad creed being in the news is bringing up my favorite story of the year: the scott stapp gainesville dennys saga. my friend was there (it was a large group) and wrote the initial writeup that i later sent to some gossip sites for him.

yeah there is no real great punchline to the whole punk'd affair. i mean its a true story without the aid of writers and actors all pulled off by a bunch of nervous kids on the fly. im surprised it got as far as it did.

if anyone is doubting its validity (which i hope after more and more comes out about him, no one would) i can vouch for it. lots of people in florida have their scott stapp stories. this 311 one is no surprise.
posted by c at 7:50 PM on December 2, 2005


im so glad creed being in the news is bringing up my favorite story of the year: the scott stapp gainesville dennys saga. my friend was there (it was a large group) and wrote the initial writeup that i later sent to some gossip sites for him.

yeah there is no real great punchline to the whole punk'd affair. i mean its a true story without the aid of writers and actors all pulled off by a bunch of nervous kids on the fly. im surprised it got as far as it did.

if anyone is doubting its validity (which i hope after more and more comes out about him, no one would) i can vouch for it. lots of people in florida have their scott stapp stories. this 311 one is no surprise.
posted by c at 7:53 PM on December 2, 2005


but what i want to know is are you glad creed being in the news is bringing up your favorite story of the year: the scott stapp gainesville dennys saga?
posted by quonsar at 8:43 PM on December 2, 2005


but what i want to know is are you glad creed being in the news is bringing up your favorite story of the year: the scott stapp gainesville dennys saga?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:59 AM on December 3, 2005


devil's slide : how can any band with reggae influences be into the KKK?

Hmm ... non sequitur much? I feel you, but you are neglecting to factor in the awesome power of cognitive dissonance. Cf. the whole reggae-> ska -> skinhead -> oi! trail over here.
posted by kcds at 5:58 AM on December 3, 2005


ugh. sorry guys.
posted by c at 7:12 AM on December 3, 2005


Hmm ... non sequitur much? I feel you, but you are neglecting to factor in the awesome power of cognitive dissonance. Cf. the whole reggae-> ska -> skinhead -> oi! trail over here.

Well, you're right about ska and skinheads, and that just proves how stupid they are. But my comment wasn't a non sequitur, it was on topic.
posted by Devils Slide at 12:30 PM on December 3, 2005


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