A swing and a miss, strike one

December 2, 2005 10:14 AM

NewsFilter: UFO (missle) exhaust seen by pilot Have the aliens landed, and are shooting at planes with unidentified flying objects? Or is it the 'terrorists'?
Don't worry citizens: FBI agents and Homeland Security officials spent the weekend investigating the report of a possible missile fired at an American Airlines.
posted by rough ashlar (26 comments total)

Somehow this would be a little more interesting if it wasn't the sort of random report that happens at least a couple of times a year.
posted by cellphone at 10:21 AM on December 2, 2005

Bin Laden is in it with the Martians. Wouldn't it be ironic if we found space aliens before we captured Bin Laden?
posted by Rothko at 10:22 AM on December 2, 2005

They need one of these ...
posted by SweetJesus at 10:25 AM on December 2, 2005

Wouldn't it be ironic if we found space aliens before we captured Bin Laden?

I'm thinking that would actually be about par for the course, considering our track-record on capturing bin Laden so far.
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:27 AM on December 2, 2005

I have an actual fear when flying about being shot down with a surface to air missile upon takeoff or landing. I look for those damn things everytime.
posted by flarbuse at 10:41 AM on December 2, 2005

we'll probably never catch bin laden for the same reason why we'll never overturn roe vs. wade. why else would a non-millionaire vote republican?
posted by mcsweetie at 10:44 AM on December 2, 2005

Rothko: "Bin Laden is in it with the Martians. Wouldn't it be ironic if we found space aliens before we captured Bin Laden?"

I don't think that would be ironic at all, considering we started looking for space aliens a long time before we started looking for Bin Laden.
posted by Plutor at 10:45 AM on December 2, 2005

flarbuse : I have an actual fear when flying about being shot down with a surface to air missile upon takeoff or landing. I look for those damn things everytime.

I suggest not flying into or out of Newark, NJ, then. Some friends of mine and I realized that the NJ Turnpike provides a great place to launch missiles at plans from. Hey, we were bored and stuck in traffic.
posted by Godbert at 10:58 AM on December 2, 2005

This guy missed the message about the Sylphs.
posted by OmieWise at 10:59 AM on December 2, 2005

LAX in normal weather takes off over Dockweiler State Beach.

Dockweiler is known for being populated by rowdies. I mean, come on, it's not exactly Malibu. Huge jumbo jets fly over it at low altitudes every other minute or so. It's not the most serene of places to have a picnic, but it's just fine for huge bonfires and getting hammered on Nattie Ice.

I have personally seen many illicit fireworks being used there.

Have you seen the size of some of the bottle rockets and pyrotechnic mortars you can get in Mexico?
posted by loquacious at 11:01 AM on December 2, 2005

At least they stop missles in Canada
posted by rough ashlar at 11:02 AM on December 2, 2005

We'll never catch Bin Laden for the same reasons the British never caught the Faqir of Ipi.
posted by loquax at 11:20 AM on December 2, 2005

do you mean because their empire went belly-up before they could catch him?
posted by matteo at 11:24 AM on December 2, 2005

do you mean because their empire went belly-up before they could catch him?

You owe me a new keyboard - it has green tea spew all over it now. That and the cracked rib from the choking.
posted by rough ashlar at 11:38 AM on December 2, 2005

It was funny, but not that funny.
posted by loquax at 11:41 AM on December 2, 2005

Why does this merit a FPP, exactly? It's a few very short, uninteresting paragraphs about something not at all newsworthy...
posted by TunnelArmr at 12:05 PM on December 2, 2005

Does anyone else see irony in the ad that was displayed while I was reading the article A) was a United Airlines ad; and B) depicted a man holding a giant pen that looks somewhat like a rocket launcher into the sky?


posted by damclean2 at 12:22 PM on December 2, 2005

Uh... when I was reading this article.
posted by damclean2 at 12:31 PM on December 2, 2005

considering our track-record on capturing bin Laden so far

bin Laden's in Pakistan. That's why we haven't captured him.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 12:39 PM on December 2, 2005

There is a Pakistani family down the street from me. I'll ask them if they know anything about the aliens.

Interestingly, the cause of TWA Flight 800 remains a mystery.
posted by Rothko at 12:44 PM on December 2, 2005

It's a mystery only to credulous.
posted by warbaby at 1:47 PM on December 2, 2005

Model rocket mebbe. You get some going pretty fast and high.
posted by Smedleyman at 3:04 PM on December 2, 2005

5 to 1 says Bin Laden is shacked up in Crawford, playing XBOX 360
posted by stenseng at 5:52 PM on December 2, 2005

Interestingly, the cause of TWA Flight 800 remains a mystery.

I would assume the cause of the flight was paying passengers, wishing to be flown to their destination?
posted by nlindstrom at 12:16 AM on December 3, 2005

I would assume that, in following the discussion, you clicked on the link, no?
posted by Rothko at 12:19 AM on December 3, 2005

Have they tracked down the adulterous couple who were filming themselves fucking on the beach yet?

I understand that the woman kept a copy of the tape, despite her boyfriend erasing the original.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:04 AM on December 3, 2005