The Most Dangerous Game

December 7, 2005 2:43 PM

Tired of hunting animals? This video is made entirely worth watching simply because of the ridiculous sound made three-quarters of the way through.
posted by awesomebrad (47 comments total)

Care to elaborate? The video started and then stopped and never started again.
posted by fenriq at 2:49 PM on December 7, 2005

It's a dynamite sound, but I gotta have more cowbell.
posted by Protocols of the Elders of Awesome at 2:50 PM on December 7, 2005

Wow that was so funny. I love the part when the laser sight was going up her chest toward her neck and the voiceover guys says "Now we're talking!", in my brain I added "Shoot her in the neck, now we're talking!"
posted by parallax7d at 2:50 PM on December 7, 2005

There are middle-aged businessmen who would expense something like this.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 2:55 PM on December 7, 2005

And there are young men who would expense it if they could.
posted by bz at 2:57 PM on December 7, 2005

Is this related to this urban legend ?[discussed previously here]
posted by kosem at 2:58 PM on December 7, 2005

Bah, internet hunting with live ammo is so 2004, what makes you think I'd want to do it with paint instead?

2005?
posted by furtive at 3:00 PM on December 7, 2005

Paintballs hurt like hell. And at least give the girl some goggles. Owee!
posted by brautigan at 3:04 PM on December 7, 2005

Looks like the same woman from huntingforbambi.com, which was a las vegas hoax, merely trying to sell cheesy videos.

Maybe they hooked up cheesy videos with some software to fool people into thinking they're shooting.
posted by mathowie at 3:16 PM on December 7, 2005

Paintballs hurt like hell
posted by CynicalKnight at 3:16 PM on December 7, 2005

I guess, in my mind, they only nailed her once and they missed all the obvious targets...

I'm actually partial to tranquilizer darts....
posted by HuronBob at 3:22 PM on December 7, 2005

Paintballs do, indeed, hurt like hell. But that's part of the fun really. You get shot, you want to shoot someone else back, preferably the asshole with his gun pressure cranked way the hell up so his paintballs hurt even more.
posted by fenriq at 3:25 PM on December 7, 2005

Our initial plan is that you will get 25 shots with each paintball session. If you want to further customize your paintball experience, you may add / reload more ammo, before or during your session. Add more ammo to unload and rapid-fire at the live human target!

So CynicalKnight's video would've cost $168.00!

( It's a sad day for the sport when kids in the backyard have a better grasp of paintball safety standards than people claiming to run a paintball business. I love working in this industry.)
posted by Mamapotomus at 3:27 PM on December 7, 2005

Great, so, in theory, I get to pay to fire paintballs at an unattractive woman covered in welts...

Ummmm...

woot.

Really.
posted by Samizdata at 3:41 PM on December 7, 2005

I'd hit it.
posted by CynicalKnight at 3:42 PM on December 7, 2005

I'd hit it.

Ack! The day after a posting about the Montreal attack.

/unacceptably slow on uptake.
posted by CynicalKnight at 3:44 PM on December 7, 2005

That was awesome.
posted by brain_drain at 3:46 PM on December 7, 2005

Um. Never shoot paintballs at someone without goggles. Never let someone without goggles on a paintball field. Never *think* very hard about paintball without goggles.

These rules are so burned into the game, which I haven't played in like decades, that this has to be a hoax, because the lady is running around and looking up at the robot gun without them. I suppose they could have staged the whole thing for the ad, and in the real version she'd have goggles, but I found it difficult to even watch for this reason.
posted by freebird at 3:58 PM on December 7, 2005

Well.... that was horrible....
posted by Elpoca at 3:58 PM on December 7, 2005

I'm with you, freebird. I kept thinking, "Oh my god, they're gonna shoot her in the eye!"

And I've been shot in the neck before. I never really thought paintballs hurt much, not until that one hit. Ouch. (especially since I was in the middle of telling the teammates that followed me to stay down)
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 4:06 PM on December 7, 2005

*Takes off goggles. Thinks. Thinks very hard about a paintball.*

OW GOD SHIT MY FUCKIN' EYE!!

(I've never been shot in the eyes, but it sure hurts like deepest, darkest hell in the ear. Ow. Ow. Ow.)


Also, that video was stupid. No it wasn't worth the noise. That was a stock needle scratch noise off of one of those lame-o sound effects discs. Never taunt me like that again or I'll appear at your window at three in the morning with a huge soundsystem and a rack of CDs full of truly indescribably horrible, terrible noises.

One of them which has been known to cause people to call the cops because they're certain someone or something is slowly and horribly dying.
posted by loquacious at 4:31 PM on December 7, 2005

Denny Crane shot a homeless man last night with a paintball gun. Why he was packing a paintball gun is beyond me.
posted by konolia at 4:50 PM on December 7, 2005

Marc Lepine would be proud.

That was a stock needle scratch noise off of one of those lame-o sound effects discs.

I believe the poster was referring to the sound closer to the end of the video.
posted by dobbs at 4:53 PM on December 7, 2005

Only slightly more lamentable than Coney Island's own "Shoot the Freak". Some flickr pics.
posted by TonyRobots at 4:54 PM on December 7, 2005

Ahh, Misogyny, how many guises you do wear.

That was pathetic and juvenile, and not FPP material. Please take this frat boy humor elsewhere.
posted by MasonDixon at 4:58 PM on December 7, 2005

Don't whine to me about the eyes! When we were kids there WERE no paintball guns, we had to use pellet guns and bb guns...and homemade rocket launchers.... then they sent us to 'Nam! ..... kids today are just sissies...
posted by HuronBob at 5:08 PM on December 7, 2005

Credits:

bikini slut ...................... Becky Jo Hatfield
slut wrangler ................ Snoop Dogg
voice effects .................. Howard Dean

posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:24 PM on December 7, 2005

Well that's definately going to churn out some bitter disillusioned women.
posted by blue_beetle at 5:30 PM on December 7, 2005

Ok, I actually watched the video all the way through this time. That sound was pretty cool.

It reminds me of the limited edition box set of hippopotamus love serenades that I have that I traded a bootleg disc full of Grace Jones sex machine orgasms for. That's the nice thing about bootlegs. Copies. I'm pretty sure Grace Jones is Klingon, by the way.
posted by loquacious at 5:33 PM on December 7, 2005

S-T-U-P-I-D
posted by snsranch at 5:38 PM on December 7, 2005

And for the ladies..

"To let the women in on the same fun as "Hunting for Bambi", you will be able to hunt men online, in real-time, while they run around in just shorts or Speedos! Buck Live™ will let women have the same entertainment as the men in this fun themed scenario!"

See? It's not sexist at all. You can blat paintballs at either gender, or neither gender at all with the "Hunting for Mike" version.

" Hunting for Mike™
Everyone was probably sick and tired about hearing Michael Jackson Trial on the news. We'll here's your chance to "pop" the "King of Pop". Silence the "Gloved One" for good. Thought he was guilty? Impose your own brand of justice. Now you can be the judge and jury!"
posted by drstein at 5:55 PM on December 7, 2005

Huh-huh! Huh-huh! Dey hit hur in the ass! Wid a paintball! An' she was, like, only wearing a bikini! Huh-huh! Huh-huh! That's so cool, man! Huntin' women! Imagine!

Fuck me, I'm glad I'm not American.
posted by Decani at 6:01 PM on December 7, 2005

I'm glad I don't generalise about 300 Million people based on the actions of a couple of 'tards.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 6:34 PM on December 7, 2005

It would have been better if she cried, I hear girls like to do that.
posted by I Foody at 6:41 PM on December 7, 2005

hmmm...my first thought was, this smacks of the "sexualized violence against women" they always talk about in women's studies classes. My second thought was, there's an interesting sensual appeal here. I wouldn't mind being the hunter or the hunted (provided safety goggles were provided for the hunted). It has an interesting s + m appeal to it, doesn't it? There's a strange intamacy involved with chasing people through the woods.

Or is it just a sick male aggression thing? Would any ladies out there be interested in hunting a semi-nude hunk? (I'm asking this as an academic question; I swear i'm not being creepy)
posted by es_de_bah at 7:03 PM on December 7, 2005

Reminds me of the time a few friends and I went up against the asshole who thought it was a swell idea to keep his paintballs in an icechest at the field.

somehow someone on our team *accidentally* leaned on his paintball marker after the round, while he was in the john. Tough shooting those icy little red and silver marbles with an L shaped barrel...
posted by stenseng at 7:25 PM on December 7, 2005

OK, if it comes down to hilarious slow motion shouting, this still rules...
posted by anthill at 8:02 PM on December 7, 2005

You know what, Decani, I'm glad you're not an American too. That was pretty damned funny for being so stupid. Call it creative editing, it was good and stupid and funny.

I will not be satisfied until I a remote control trebuchet that I can wreak havoc on small towns with.

stenseng, you should have stolen all his paintballs and used them on him and no one else too. What an ass.
posted by fenriq at 8:34 PM on December 7, 2005

That was pathetic and juvenile, and not FPP material. Please take this frat boy humor elsewhere.
posted by MasonDixon at 6:58 PM CST on December 7

Looks like we crossed the Mason/Dixon line.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 9:14 PM on December 7, 2005

Looks like we crossed the Mason/Dixon line.

No, that happens when you start a comment up here...

"Hold, hold, stand easy, we've Musick here," Mr. Brain producing from behind the Bar a batter'd Hurdy-Gurdy or Hum-Strum of antique design, left years ago by a Gypsy to settle a tab, "aye, Musick a-plenty, you need but ask, -wonderful to have Quality in, - Spot of Handel, perhaps?" wehereupon he begins vigorously, though with no clear idea of how the Instrument works, to crank and finger, all in a G-dawful Uproar. The Dog Goblin, cowering eagerly, howls along.

...and end up down here!
posted by freebird at 9:57 PM on December 7, 2005

anthill: That was a good one, thanks. It's even more awesome because just when you think the fun's over, the rocket blows up.
posted by Potsy at 10:15 PM on December 7, 2005

That was good, anthill, and I'd like to know what the kid told the doctor when he went to the emergency room. I burnt my rectum with a bottle rocket, doc.

The bikini paint ball thing, eh. Boring.
posted by teece at 12:15 AM on December 8, 2005

Thanks, anthill. But someone really shoulda told that guy to unclench!
posted by Goofyy at 2:58 AM on December 8, 2005

Would any ladies out there be interested in hunting a semi-nude hunk?

No? After all these comments I thought this was going to be offensive or something. "Don't shoot your dog with the paintball gun, shoot the lady in the bikini." Meh.
posted by jessamyn at 4:20 AM on December 8, 2005

Paintbal lessons with someone as experienced as me is easily worth, like, a couple of thousand dollars.
posted by maxsparber at 4:41 AM on December 8, 2005

Paintball? Meh. Do or not do, just don't be like this asshole.
posted by fixedgear at 9:51 AM on December 8, 2005

I'm glad I don't generalise about 300 Million people based on the actions of a couple of 'tards.

Me too. I'm glad I'm not American for plenty of reasons apart from these two 'tards, I assure you. Would you like a list?
posted by Decani at 3:22 PM on December 10, 2005