Comments on: Minor changes to your screenplay

Minor changes to your screenplay

RockyChrysler — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 14:21:43 -0800

Subject: Minor changes to your screenplay. You mean once he starts winning, he just keeps winning? There's never a serious doubt that he'll keep winning? It gets a little predictable, Lance. Think about this for a second: Rocky lost in the first movie, and that's the only one that was any good.

By: caddis

caddis — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 14:35:08 -0800

Location: Americans are very patriotic right now, Lance. Being a Texan yourself, you know that. What if the "Tour de France" became the "Tour de Freedom" and went from Alaska to Hawaii? That would rock. Hmmm. Now that's a man's ride (or perhaps a fish's).

By: panoptican

panoptican — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 14:37:13 -0800

Something tells me that this will quickly devolve into a Rocky debate. That something is a bag of chips. The bag of chips is often right. I'll take V any day of the week. And Jan Ullrich as villain? That would be awesom.

By: HuronBob

HuronBob — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 14:57:23 -0800

Why was this considered funny??? If I read it sitting on a bike will it be funny?

By: fenriq

fenriq — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 15:24:29 -0800

Maybe Lance should make it into a gay movie and call it Tour de Frank?

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 15:32:54 -0800

Rocky lost in the first movie, and that's the only one that was any good. The second one was enjoyable. And I'll admit that when Mickey dies in the third one, I get a little misty. But boxing is far more cinematic than cycling anyway (Breaking Away excepted).

By: I Foody

I Foody — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 15:40:15 -0800

I liked Rocky IV quite a lot even though it's dumber than a Pole. Rocky I is the best and Rocky II is ok, Rocky five however is the worst movie because it establishes a threshold if a movie gets any worse than Rocky V it becomes sort of fun. I call it the Morrison level.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 15:41:46 -0800

Does hearing "Gonna Fly Now," get you pumped and a little misty at the same time, or is that just an Italian thing?

By: muppetboy

muppetboy — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 16:38:48 -0800

Maybe Rambo could be the villain that tries to stop Lance.

By: beelzbubba

beelzbubba — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 16:45:33 -0800

on preview, jonmc beat me to it: could Lance just call it Breaking Away II and talk to Sheryl in maybe a funny French accent? The lead still lives at home with now retired auto-dealer pop, who is now a greeter at Wal-Mart and moms is dipping a little bit into the sauce, since her world-champ son still lives at home.

By: chrominance

chrominance — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 17:01:27 -0800

News flash: Hollywood thinks everyone is stupid. Writer thinks Hollywood is even stupider. Film at 11.

By: mosk

mosk — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 17:02:37 -0800

I think this would be best in a "Triplets of Belleville"-style of animation...and with a similar amount of dialog.

By: like_neon

like_neon — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 17:03:00 -0800

I am not into cycling but I found that amusing. Maybe not so much the inside jokes about cycling (although I understood a *little* due to a close friend who is obsessed) but its jabs at what "works" in Hollywood and American "film" are pretty funny.

By: funambulist

funambulist — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 17:03:28 -0800

This guy forgot one crucial element of the story. Once the script focuses on the subplot of the dastardly French press attacking Lance with rumours of doping *after* he survived cancer and won and won and won and won again, you'll have all the required elements - enemies, excitement, and American patriotism.

By: fenriq

fenriq — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 17:13:54 -0800

Why is the film always at 11? Wouldn't it make more sense to make it at 10 and add a little more power to it to make it as loud as 11?

By: papakwanz

papakwanz — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 17:33:03 -0800

fenriq wins. who else is psyched for the forthcoming Rocky VI?!

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 17:36:23 -0800

*raises hand, puts on "Gonna Fly Now," starts shadowboxing around apartment*

By: caddis

caddis — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 17:56:28 -0800

dumber than a Pole?

By: holloway

holloway — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 18:16:30 -0800

Give him a split personality... Real Lance wakes up in the middle of a race to find that Evil Lance has been peddling the wrong way into a forest for several hours. He's heartbroken, but as the forest creatures surround him he soon remembers who he is. Eye of the Tiger swells in and Lance faces his greatest challenge. And he's kind of wooden, so how about if his bike can talk (but only he can see it talking) and maybe they time travel and fight crime.

By: XQUZYPHYR

XQUZYPHYR — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 18:17:00 -0800

Why was this considered funny??? If I read it sitting on a bike will it be funny? Might loosen the stick...

By: drezdn

drezdn — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 18:19:41 -0800

I liked it, but than again, I like bikes.

By: Kirth Gerson

Kirth Gerson — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 18:26:07 -0800

The bag of chips is often right. I'll take V any day of the week. You mean that old TV miniseries with the alien lizards in human-suits? That V? I think those chips are stale, buddy.

By: snsranch

snsranch — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 18:26:55 -0800

But boxing is far more cinematic than cycling anyway (Breaking Away excepted). posted by jonmc at 3:32 PM PST on December 8 [!] I have always been emrbarrassed by the fact that I like that movie. (Breaking Away). But anyway, VIVA LA LANCE! (and whatever shitty movie he writes).

By: snsranch

snsranch — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 18:27:29 -0800

(sp)

By: drezdn

drezdn — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 18:34:00 -0800

Is "Breaking Away" worth seeing. I was going to pick it up this summer. Then I forgot about it. Then I remembered it again when Homestarrunner dressed as a character from it.

By: I Foody

I Foody — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 18:36:23 -0800

caddis: dumber than a Pole? Sorry I meant a Polish person.

By: Kirth Gerson

Kirth Gerson — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 18:43:02 -0800

Sorry I meant a Polish person. Like a car detailer? I don't get it.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 19:04:09 -0800

I have always been emrbarrassed by the fact that I like that movie. (Breaking Away). Why? It's a genuinely well-done, funny, and affecting film. Is "Breaking Away" worth seeing. Absolutely.

By: Joseph Gurl

Joseph Gurl — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 19:39:49 -0800

I wwatched "breaking away" like 15 times as a kid, since my neighbor had the video (and no others). It was a running joke when we were bored, even 10 years later: "Whadaya wanna do?" "I dunno" "Breaking Away?"

By: spicynuts

spicynuts — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 19:42:27 -0800

Dude...Donald Sutherland on a bike. Definitely worth seeing.

By: PareidoliaticBoy

PareidoliaticBoy — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 19:43:52 -0800

Breaking Away is a great film. As with most good stories it's not, as much about bicycling as it about the human condition. Highly recommended. It also has one of the best lines in film ever "Refund!!?

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 19:45:57 -0800

*punches the clock, shorty*

By: spicynuts

spicynuts — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 19:58:12 -0800

Crap..I thought Sutherland was in Breaking Away...I'm clearly confused.

By: PareidoliaticBoy

PareidoliaticBoy — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 20:03:32 -0800

More great lines.

By: RockyChrysler

RockyChrysler — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 20:32:54 -0800

Breaking Away is a great film. As with most good stories it's not, as much about bicycling as it about the human condition. Highly recommended. And also because the Cutters (and the Little 500) are for real.

By: scarabic

scarabic — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 20:53:54 -0800

This was hilarious. Thanks.

By: PeterMcDermott

PeterMcDermott — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 21:56:32 -0800

Who is this Lance Armstrong? Is he any relation to Stretch Armstrong?

By: blindcarboncopy

blindcarboncopy — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 22:35:33 -0800

This peace is written by an extended coworker of mine, who goes by the mysterious pseudonym of Fat Cyclist. Fat cyclist has a blog that is easily the single collection of most hilarious writing about bicycles (and sometimes other things) on the whole internet. Highly recommended, especially readers' true stories of having their bicycles stolen and the equally true story of Rocky, the karmic black-hole.

By: gsteff

gsteff — Thu, 08 Dec 2005 22:54:14 -0800

I prefer Fafblog's take on Armstrong's final Tour victory.

By: fixedgear

fixedgear — Fri, 09 Dec 2005 05:03:27 -0800

Read the whole thing here. For the record, I have seen Breaking Away 50 times, and I'm a regular reader of Fat Cyclist. Matt Damon is rumored to be training for his role as Armstrong.

By: bluesky43

bluesky43 — Fri, 09 Dec 2005 05:52:10 -0800

whatever the movie, we all know the book is better.

By: macmac

macmac — Fri, 09 Dec 2005 08:27:17 -0800

Okay, so i guess that you have to be a cycling fan (or at least have watched a fair amount of the Tour de France) to have gotten some of those jokes. But he makes some really good points about how utterly ignorant most people are about comptetive cycling. If you were going to make a movie about Lance's Tour victories for the masses, you'd either have to spend a lot of time explaining team structure and strategy, or do exactly what the fat cyclist said -- ditch the teams, and show lance winning every stage.