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The War on Christmas
December 15, 2005 8:55 AM   Subscribe

Fuck Christmas. Via del.icio.us.
posted by MarkO (170 comments total)

 
That .org is key.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 8:57 AM on December 15, 2005


Heh.
posted by purephase at 8:57 AM on December 15, 2005


Oh, and the rant is alright.

Christians just stole a bunch of traditions from other cultures, slapped them together, stuck a fucking tinfoil star on top and called it the Most Important Holiday of the Year. Modern American Christmas makes Michael Jackson look positively organic.
posted by purephase at 8:59 AM on December 15, 2005


This has to be a contender for Most Pitiful Post 2005.
posted by DrDoberman at 8:59 AM on December 15, 2005


About fuckin' time.
posted by Sharktattoo at 9:03 AM on December 15, 2005


Hasn't this post already been deleted once already?
posted by DonnieSticks at 9:05 AM on December 15, 2005


I like Pussy Puffs with some cheese dip and a can of Surge.
posted by fungible at 9:06 AM on December 15, 2005


the fuckchristmas.com dildo page was funnier
posted by matteo at 9:07 AM on December 15, 2005


That was an incredibly satisfying rant to read. Thanks for posting it.
posted by pazazygeek at 9:07 AM on December 15, 2005


This post has previous Guv'nor.
posted by i_cola at 9:08 AM on December 15, 2005


I really prefer the fucking.
posted by Football Bat at 9:08 AM on December 15, 2005


I miss the porn.
posted by xmutex at 9:10 AM on December 15, 2005


I love rabid consumerism masquerading as tired zealotry. Love it. Don't take away my Wal Mart you abortion loving elitist! Don't take away my baby Jesus! Jesus said, "Fuck the migrant woker locked in the cooler at night. I have come to profit, and give you disposable bullshit from China at a low cost. Blesses be he that tramples in the name of Christmas, he shall inherit the labor of the meek."
posted by The Jesse Helms at 9:13 AM on December 15, 2005


It's so edgy now to hate Christmas.
posted by gai at 9:18 AM on December 15, 2005


It's so edgy now to hate Christmas.
posted by gai at 11:18 AM CST on December 15


Yeah, man. It's like totally sticking it to the The Man! Fuck 'em! I'm a radical! Hardcore!

(Anyone have any thoughts on what percentage and what the statistical probability is that a number of the people who show their "fuck Christmas" bona fides here on this website, will, in fact, be celebrating Christmas?)
posted by dios at 9:23 AM on December 15, 2005


a ha ha ha ha.
This post is only any good with the back-story, but what a story.
posted by NinjaPirate at 9:23 AM on December 15, 2005


Won't somebody think of the children?
posted by Pollomacho at 9:23 AM on December 15, 2005


Christmas FuckFox?
posted by chrismear at 9:24 AM on December 15, 2005


To be fair, my post was erased because it was a link to straight up pr0n, not because it was lame. (That's not to say this rant isn't lame, but I certainly like it.) My favourite quote follows:
Pat Buchanan has joined the hype-a-thon of the supposed Attack on Christmas, too. Or, as he put it, “What we’re witnessing here are hate crimes against Christianity.” Sorry? We’re not so hot on paying for an inflatable camel for your goddamn nativity scene and suddenly we’re Slobodan fucking Milosevic? Fuck you. Get some goddamn perspective, you little prick. When they start hunting Christians in the streets, it’ll be time to start yelling “Hate crime.” And no, it won’t count when they start chasing you with the torches. That’ll be called “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.”
That certainly would be the most wonderful time of the year.
posted by chunking express at 9:25 AM on December 15, 2005


fuck[insertsomethinghere].org/com totally ATE MY BALLS!
posted by MaxVonCretin at 9:26 AM on December 15, 2005


O.K., marko just officially made the little baby Jesus cry.
posted by johnny novak at 9:30 AM on December 15, 2005


You know, as rants go this one was pretty damn good, and... yes... satisfying. I like that word!
posted by malaprohibita at 9:33 AM on December 15, 2005


dios: "Anyone have any thoughts on what percentage and what the statistical probability is that a number of the people who show their "fuck Christmas" bona fides here on this website, will, in fact, be celebrating Christmas?"

Well, dios, when I say it I mean it literally, so - yeah. I fully intend to "celebrate." Nothing makes the "Holidays" happier.

/Fuck Christmas - Hard!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:37 AM on December 15, 2005


Anyone have any thoughts on what percentage and what the statistical probability is that a number of the people who show their "fuck Christmas" bona fides here on this website, will, in fact, be celebrating Christmas?

I haven't bought presents, brought a tree home and decorated it, put lights in my yard, attended a Christmas party, played or heard any Christmas music, watched the Charlie Brown special, said "Merry Christmas" to a single person, or any of that other crap, and do not intend to.

Also don't believe Jesus was born in December, or that he was the son of God.

So you can mark me down in that percentage.

Fuck Christmas.....seriously.
posted by Anders Levant at 9:40 AM on December 15, 2005


"Baby Jesus®"

I liked that... :)
posted by HuronBob at 9:40 AM on December 15, 2005


fuckthesouth was much better.
posted by driveler at 9:41 AM on December 15, 2005


Ok, the rant was amusing, but the article about marketing sex to 8 year olds was incredible. I just finished reading it and now more than ever, I hate advertising and marketing bastards.
posted by drstein at 9:46 AM on December 15, 2005


I wil celebrate Christmas.

And that rant is very, very well done. It's funny (falafel exfoliating) and well-documented (I had no idea what a mindless hack this Gibson is).

And, as to the main point, I've been reading the Gospels a lot lately, and it sounds to me to be dead on: "Our soldiers are out there dying while you guys do your 14th live feed of the day from WalMart to show us what good little consumers we are. What Would Jesus Do? He’d jump over that newsdesk and kick your ass for that shit."
posted by ibmcginty at 9:50 AM on December 15, 2005


Anders Levant - So because you don't participate in any of those things you've listed... fuck Christmas? I don't get it. Moron.
posted by Witty at 9:53 AM on December 15, 2005


(Anyone have any thoughts on what percentage and what the statistical probability is that a number of the people who show their "fuck Christmas" bona fides here on this website, will, in fact, be celebrating Christmas?)

.86+/-?

The Metafilter comments are like this recursive russian doll, barbershop mirror effect of attempts at snarky "edgy" attempts at meta smartass sarcastic humor. It's awesome.
posted by hatchetjack at 9:54 AM on December 15, 2005


He’d jump over that newsdesk and kick your ass for that shit.

sounds more like John to me
posted by nervousfritz at 9:54 AM on December 15, 2005


I really have no idea what all this "war on Christmas" crap is about, but I liked this part:

Christians just stole a bunch of traditions from other cultures, slapped them together, stuck a fucking tinfoil star on top and called it the Most Important Holiday of the Year.

...and that's why I love Christmas! Yes, I will be celebrating this random collection of bizarre pagan rituals carried out faithfully by people who have no idea what they mean. It rocks, dude. I mean, you get to put a tree in your house! What's not to like about that? That reminds me of the real evil we must fight: artificial christmas trees.
posted by sfenders at 9:55 AM on December 15, 2005


MetaFilter: recursive russian doll, barbershop mirror effect attempts at snarky "edgy" attempts at meta smartass sarcastic humor. It's awesome.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:56 AM on December 15, 2005


the article about marketing sex to 8 year olds was incredible.

I guess I'm a little too jaded on this issue. I couldn't get past the lede:
    When you were nine, what did you want? A Barbie doll? A train set? These days, young boys and girls are hungry for something else...
Um..... HELLO??? A BARBIE DOLL? Yeah, that's certainly an innocent item having nothing to do with the marketing of sexiness...
posted by soyjoy at 9:57 AM on December 15, 2005



apparently Brian Fleming is serious. anyone seen the movie?
the last time I posted this the image pointed to a non-stable host that'll probably be gone in a few months. this should stick around better.
posted by carsonb at 9:58 AM on December 15, 2005


I have now been offended twice. What is it with people? Wasn't once enough?
posted by bluesky43 at 10:02 AM on December 15, 2005


Anyone have any thoughts on what percentage and what the statistical probability is that a number of the people who show their "fuck Christmas" bona fides here on this website, will, in fact, be celebrating Christmas?

Probably quite a few. But this is about the downside of commercialism and the hyprocrisy of fundamentalists in regard to it. And what does that question have to do with the topic on hand anyway? People are not just black and white dios. Really. They aren't.
posted by juiceCake at 10:02 AM on December 15, 2005


Anyone have any thoughts on what percentage and what the statistical probability is that a number of the people who show their "fuck Christmas" bona fides here on this website, will, in fact, be celebrating Christmas?

Wow, a preemptive blanket "fuck, you, hypocrite!"Now that is some Christmas spirit!

I can see clearly now - if I enjoyed this rant but I give anyone even a single present then clearly I'm some kind of mental midget! I'll explain to my friends and family that I'm not participating in Christmas this year because dios made everything clear!
posted by Western Infidels at 10:05 AM on December 15, 2005


juiceCake: "People are not just black and white."

Harlequins are.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:08 AM on December 15, 2005


POSERS! I hated christmas WAAAAY before the rest of you. What takes REAL balls is to hate Arbor Day or Easter. Fucking stoopid bunny. And plant a tree? Yuh. Ahm. So. Shuh. Tree's pollute, man.
posted by tkchrist at 10:13 AM on December 15, 2005


People are not just black and white.

Well, there's Michael Jackson.
posted by boaz at 10:15 AM on December 15, 2005


Fuck Veterans' Day.

Especially the hot ones
posted by dios at 10:17 AM on December 15, 2005


"that a number of the people who show their "fuck Christmas" bona fides here on this website, will, in fact, be celebrating Christmas?"

Did you actually read the link? hint: it's not really about Christmas.
posted by 2sheets at 10:18 AM on December 15, 2005


As lame as this is:
I wish there was a version of this that the intended audience would actually take seriously. Like, without the swearin'. The links are fantastic, I especially loved the ACLU one.
posted by dougunderscorenelso at 10:22 AM on December 15, 2005


OH MY GOD HAS METAFILTER JOINED THE "WAR ON CHRISTMAS"!?!?!?!? OH NO, WHAT WILL BABY JESUS DO NOW?!?!!!!
posted by wakko at 10:24 AM on December 15, 2005


Next year, at the appropriate times, I'd like to make FPPs proclaiming Fuck Rosh Hashanah, Fuck Ramadan, Fuck Janamashtami, and maybe a few select others, and see how long they last on the blue.
Honestly, the hatred and intolerance spewing from people who probably consider themselves 'progressive' is unbelievable. Everyone is free to choose not to celebrate Christmas, but understand that the majority in Western nations do celebrate...including this non-believer. (I'd call myself an atheist, but I don't want to be associated with the annoying pricks who have appropriated that label)
posted by rocket88 at 10:24 AM on December 15, 2005


(btw i want to forcibly castrate anyone who uses the term "war on christmas" to attack liberals, with my teeth)
posted by wakko at 10:24 AM on December 15, 2005


What rocket88 said.

Next year, I'm making a Fuck AIDS Day post.
posted by dios at 10:25 AM on December 15, 2005 [1 favorite]


I absolutely fucking hate Arbor Day. Just sayin.

Maybe I'll get, I don't know, lynch-mobbed off the blue for this, but I love Christmas. It's festive and pretty and I get things. What the hell is not to like? Every holiday and every religion is stolen from somewhere else. Unless your name is Fug and you're celebrating Uhk Uhk day by staring into the sun for eight hours and banging rocks together, you can bet that whatever it is you're doing is built on stuff people have done before. Who cares?
And as for rampant consumerism, I am all for it. The world is full of shiny things that people can buy for me. And there is a day that is, for all intents and purposes, dedicated to seeing that this happens. This is the way it should be.
Everything about Christmas is fantastic. Except for giant plastic Santas on your lawn and colored goddamn lights. People who use these things should be shot, and then displayed in the public square, so we can hang tinsel on them and dance 'round them singing carols. I am originally from Connecticut and am therefore the arbiter of what is, and is not, in good taste- so I can state with authority that the only Christmas decorations you're allowed to use are white lights, holly and pine branches.
Now go buy me something pretty. Yay for Jesus!
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 10:26 AM on December 15, 2005


That was sweet. Thanks for the post, you made my holiday season!
[Commences emailing link to everyone]
posted by Outlawyr at 10:27 AM on December 15, 2005


(Anyone have any thoughts on what percentage and what the statistical probability is that a number of the people who show their "fuck Christmas" bona fides here on this website, will, in fact, be celebrating Christmas?)
posted by dios at 12:23 PM EST on December 15

OH Boy Dios, could you have chosen a worse angle in which to attack us leftie, liberal, atheists? Let me list a few of the many, many ways I won't be "celebrating Christmas."

Increasing my credit card debt by buying a bunch of useless crap at WalMart

Singing Christian Carols to praise the arrival of a mythical Baby Jesus

Donating generously to my local power company by draping electric lights all over my house

Demanding that my Christian friends say "Happy Holidays" and recognize that Christmas was originally a pagan way to chase the winter blues away

Writing angrily to my President because he sent out 1.4 million cards wishing his "friends" a Happy Holiday"

Going on TV and spending $11,000 on media ads to warn Americans that we are "at war" against those who say "Happy Holidays" so that I can increase attendance at my church and increase my national exposure as Pastor of the Upper Room of Jesus Christ (or whatever the fucking name is) so that I can trade my pitiful $3 million dollar mansion in for a mansion more in keeping with my own sense of magnificence
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 10:30 AM on December 15, 2005


Somebody ought to register foxchristmas.com (or .org) and put up a devastating parody of O'Really and Company there. I just don't have the angry energy to do so myself.
posted by wendell at 10:30 AM on December 15, 2005


The writer didn't use "fuck" enough. Zor he used it too much. I'm not sure which.

Yeah, I hate Christmas. I hate Christmas carols and the incessant, inescapable faux-cheer. The crass commercialism of it. The overt religiosity and the reactionary PC-ness both give me the jinkies.

But, dios, you have made no point. I don't like it, but I'm still buying presents and taking the long trip back home for the holiday. 'Cuz, sure, I don't like Xmas, but I'm also not a frickin' monster.
posted by solid-one-love at 10:30 AM on December 15, 2005


dios and rocket88-- you should read the link. What prompted the rant is that some conservatives are claiming, disingenuously, that there is a War on Christmas.

I'm mostly with Dormant Gorilla on the awesomeness of Christmas, but my girlfriend is trying to murder Christmas fun by playing the same 3 Christmas albums repeatedly.
posted by ibmcginty at 10:31 AM on December 15, 2005


carsonb: anyone seen the movie?

If you mean The God Who Wasn't There, I've seen it. It turns out that a lot of his grudge with Christianity is related to his strict Christian upbringing. Not a huge surprise, I guess. I don't think it's likely to turn any believers into atheists, but I was glad I watched it.

A super-brief synopsis might go like this: A lot of true believers don't know jack about the history of their own faith. The Bible is riddled with serious consistency problems; despite this, some true believers take their faith to fairly wacky lengths, or distort it in order to support some other wacky thing they believe. At least a few of them get pretty pissed when someone brings these issues up.

On a completely unrelated note, I thought it was interesting to see what can be achieved on a shoestring today, given modern camcorders, desktop video editing, and some creative-commons music tracks.
posted by Western Infidels at 10:32 AM on December 15, 2005


Like, without the swearin'.

You want a rant, but without swearing? Are you serious? Perhaps you're an upper-class British person, as the concept of a rant without proper use of the word "Fuck" or "Up the Ass" just doesn't jive with my American gutter-speak.

I, personally, am with Dormant Gorilla: I love Christmas for the commercialism, for the time with family, all the good food, presents under the trees, sledding in our Santa outfits, watching "It's a Wonderful Life" for the 5000th time and still choking up when Harry Bailey toasts his brother as the "Richest man in Bedford Falls"...it's all good. There's no war on that at all.

The only war is the perceived war between secularists (who basically want religion to leave them alone) and the religious busybodies (who can't stand it when someone doesn't practice their religion).
posted by thanotopsis at 10:35 AM on December 15, 2005


And I hate both of those kinds people.
posted by Witty at 10:37 AM on December 15, 2005


argh
posted by Witty at 10:38 AM on December 15, 2005


i like christmas.
posted by zeoslap at 10:38 AM on December 15, 2005


I love the Solstice. I always have a bonfire that night. That quote about Pat Robertson, and The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year, is my favorite quote of the year. With Pat Robertson in mind, my next favorite quote of 2005 was; "Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life".

I loved this rant, but it gives too much energy to the thing he attacks. I celebrate the holidays that I celebrate, and I don't even think about the rest.

What I really love is January, when in the second or third week, you can suddenly feel new strenght in the sun.
posted by Oyéah at 10:39 AM on December 15, 2005


I believe Christmas is like not really everything they say it is and stuff.
posted by HTuttle at 10:40 AM on December 15, 2005


(By the way, for records purposes, how many cool, hipster, edgy points do people get for each reference to "Baby Jesus" in a dismissive tone?)
posted by dios at 10:41 AM on December 15, 2005


"how many cool, hipster, edgy points do people get for each reference to "Baby Jesus" in a dismissive tone?"

Not as many as you get for calling yourself "dios".
posted by 2sheets at 10:49 AM on December 15, 2005


Can I Fuck Christmas right in its Holy Night?
posted by fenriq at 10:50 AM on December 15, 2005


You're making the baby Jesus cry, Dios.

(Zero points, BTW. But it's 15 points for every sniffy reaction to it.)
posted by solid-one-love at 10:51 AM on December 15, 2005


It's interesting to me when people formulate it as a "stolen holiday." It seems a little more complex than all that. In short, given that there's still a measure, at least, of Pagan stuff around-- pine boughs and branches, trees, songs like 'the holly and the ivy,' et al-- it doesn't seem like the Christians "won" as much as some of them (the "war on christmas" crew, in particular) would like to believe. In fact, turning Christianity into something local and palatable is a long tradition with distinguished roots, from the Guadalupe tradition in Mexico to the holidays listed above, like Christmas and Easter.

This isn't even something foreign to our time. American culture, which has been increasingly secularized for the last few hundred years, took a homey holiday about Christ (which had already been scheduled over another pagan holiday) and turned it into a shiny affair about a fat guy who gives presents and some idealized concept of 'togetherness.'

That's why Christmas is so great, if you ask me-- the religious can get their jollies off in the privacy of their own homes (Falwell's whine should be ignored, and generally religious people are smart enough to ignore it) by reading from their Bible, and everybody else can celebrate it however they want, but there's something we all share in-- togetherness, maybe, or a collective sense of joy in the presence of others. After thousands of years of being something of a pluralistic holiday, Christmas has sort of turned into the collective, public, secular affair the modern world really needs. We spend the rest of the year cynically pursuing material wealth; we need at least one day to be gooshy, sing songs about "loved ones gathered near," and give presents to each other. I have a feeling that most workaday, material-loving americans would explode if they didn't have some way to show a little bit of caring for somebody at least once a year. If only for that, christmas is a good holiday.
posted by koeselitz at 10:53 AM on December 15, 2005


What if we give him a hip-hop nickname, like Pretty Baby G?
posted by BobFrapples at 10:54 AM on December 15, 2005


And I hate both of those kinds people.

That's getting into the Christmas spirit.
posted by boaz at 10:58 AM on December 15, 2005


When Jesus comes back this guy's going to be in a lot of trouble.

rocket88, if you read the link it should pretty obvious that the writer has nothing against the holiday.

The only war is the perceived war between secularists (who basically want religion to leave them alone) and the religious busybodies (who can't stand it when someone doesn't practice their religion).

This smells like BS. Where are these so-called secularists? The perceived war isn't between anybody because it doesn't exist.

Christmas has sort of turned into the collective, public, secular affair the modern world really needs...

This is presumably why the war was declared. It's a transparent attempt by the right-wing to claim what's long-been a very secular holiday. That and the fact that there's a real war going on and, well, it's not going so great.
posted by nixerman at 10:58 AM on December 15, 2005


Next year, at the appropriate times, I'd like to make FPPs proclaiming Fuck Rosh Hashanah, Fuck Ramadan, Fuck Janamashtami, and maybe a few select others, and see how long they last on the blue.

Hey, if you got a good link (that's not "hate speech," i.e. Neo-Nazi stuff, which I believe is verboten here) ...

If it's a link to a picture of your genitalia, then no. No sir.

But, dios, you have made no point. I don't like it, but I'm still buying presents and taking the long trip back home for the holiday.

Well said. We may not like Christmas, but we still love our friends and family who do. I might think Passover is a crock too, but if I get invited to Seder dinner, I'll attend, act respectfully, and even wear one of those little hats. I celebrate Xmas for the same reason I easily resolved thoughts of suicide when I was 15. I love my family and friends.

The biggest complaint against Christmas (IMO) is the overwhelming media coverage and unbridled consumerism. Some think we are drowning ourselves in a sea of mass-produced crap; others don't.

If Judaism was the dominant religion, and merchants of cool used it to sell billions worth of Bratz dolls at Chanukah, I'd say Fuck Chanukah.

On preview: good points, koeselitz (especially the last).
posted by mrgrimm at 11:00 AM on December 15, 2005


In a related note—Jackie Mason to ride down Manhattan's Fifth Ave. to "highlight the war on Christmas".
posted by jivadravya at 11:01 AM on December 15, 2005


Next year, I'm making a Fuck AIDS Day post.
posted by dios


You've said some dumb things on MeFi. And some notsodumb things. This is an example of the former.
posted by dobbs at 11:12 AM on December 15, 2005 [1 favorite]


I can't wait for "War on Christmas" to be put in the museum next to "Information Superhighway" "Flip-flop" and "Thousand points of light."
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:13 AM on December 15, 2005


When a major cable new network makes its money by continually pandering to its audience's fears and delusions, I like to get all angry about a rant some random guy's web page.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 11:17 AM on December 15, 2005


I fucked Christmas in the ass, hard.

rocket88 and dios: I suggest reading the link before you get in a huff.

Of course, my money says that dios knows what the link is about, and is just being obtuse to get his rocks off.

posted by I Love Tacos at 11:22 AM on December 15, 2005


I got my rocks off on your mom last night.
posted by Witty at 11:24 AM on December 15, 2005


Yeah, man. It's like totally sticking it to the The Man! Fuck 'em! I'm a radical! Hardcore!

Fuck Veterans' Day.

Next year, I'm making a Fuck AIDS Day post.

By the way, for records purposes, how many cool, hipster, edgy points do people get for each reference to "Baby Jesus" in a dismissive tone?


I have this image of dios toiling away at his keyboard, trying desperately to come up with another, wittier way to express the same point, just in case we didn't get it the last time. Hey dios, be less subtle! I really can't tell how you feel about this! Could you maybe clarify? I really hope someone will expose these so-called cool, edgy hipsters for what they really are!
posted by ludwig_van at 11:24 AM on December 15, 2005


This has liberal-Jew-run media written ALL over it.

Our only defense is constant vigilance, people.
posted by Marnie at 11:29 AM on December 15, 2005


For a long time the only thing I've consistently felt negatively about the end of year holidays is the notion that people need an excuse to talk about "peace on earth" "good will towards man" once a year, instead of trying to live it year round.
The consumerism has gotten pretty bad, but that is a personal choice. And there where plenty of different types of celebrations to choose from, so avoiding the overly xtian aspect wasn't such a big deal, hell you could make up your own.

But now with the constant bile that is spewed about there being a (non existent) war on Christmas, I don't give a shit about it anymore. Screw this time of year. People get way too stressed, spend too much and play act at being peaceful while they are rude at the shopping mall.

So, I hope everyone who celebrates finds a bit of happiness and contentment this season. I'm not partaking until those whiny ass people stop harassing other people about the exclusive holiness of THAT DAY to the exclusion of everyone else's beliefs.

To quote my least favorite phrase, they need to grow the fuck up.
posted by edgeways at 11:29 AM on December 15, 2005


I have this image of dios toiling away at his keyboard, trying desperately to come up with another, wittier way to express the same point, just in case we didn't get it the last time. Hey dios, be less subtle! I really can't tell how you feel about this! Could you maybe clarify? I really hope someone will expose these so-called cool, edgy hipsters for what they really are!

Well, I could tell how everyone else felt about this "issue" the FIRST time this rant was posted. But that doesn't seem to be stopping anyone from iterating their point to death.
posted by Witty at 11:33 AM on December 15, 2005


Next year, at the appropriate times, I'd like to make FPPs proclaiming Fuck Rosh Hashanah, Fuck Ramadan, Fuck Janamashtami, and maybe a few select others, and see how long they last on the blue.

because we all know that a Jewish President and Jewish Congress are trying to forcibly turn a diverse nation like the USA into a Jewish nation.

because we all know that a Muslim President and Muslim Congress are trying to forcibly turn a diverse nation like the USA into a Muslim nation.

etc.



including this non-believer. (I'd call myself an atheist, but I don't want to be associated with the annoying pricks who have appropriated that label)


speaking of annoying pricks, what do you celebrate it for, as a "non-believer"? tha coming of Santa Claus? do you believe in him, at least? or is it a case of Xmas tree worship? I'm curious.


Next year, I'm making a Fuck AIDS Day post.
posted by dios at 10:25 AM PST on December 15


well, of course you would. AIDS is killing a lot of gays and Africans, after all.
posted by matteo at 11:34 AM on December 15, 2005 [2 favorites]


dios: "By the way, for records purposes, how many cool, hipster, edgy points do people get for each reference to "Baby Jesus" in a dismissive tone?)"

Well, in War On Christmas: San Andreas, Baby Jesus is worth 5 points for a direct hit, 10 for a kill, 15 for a headshot. After Level II, when the armies of the dead take the field, the points go up accordingly.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:37 AM on December 15, 2005




What's with the War on Fucking? I'm reclaiming the term. I'll fuck Christmas if it showers, and wears something that shows off its legs- which better be recently shaved. Otherwise, no fucking for Christmas this year. I'll fuck its cousin, whatever that is.
posted by underer at 11:40 AM on December 15, 2005


I love AND hate Christmas. Being a complicated person and all.

I hate that I am expected to buy shit for people I hardly know and only see every four or five years. But I simply adore the fact that they buy me shit.

I love getting to see my brother and sister and nephews and parents all under one roof. But I hate that fifteen minutes later we are screaming and jabbing the turkey fork at one another over whether or not Merve Griffin starred in "Count Yorga the Vampire" or if it was Christin Scott Thomas or Emma Thompson in that movie we saw that one time.

I love that my mom still buys me toys even though I'm 43. I hate that I have to explain what it is I do for a living for the ten thousandth time - like this:

"Graphic design and marketing... we help people create brand strategies on the..."
"So. Your a salesman? I though you worked with computers?"
"No. Er. Yes. I mean..."
"Oh. That John Carey Grinch thing is on. I hate that John Carey!"
"Jim. Jim Carey, mom. Have you ever even SEEN a Jim Carey movie?"
"That's what I said. John Carey!"
"Mom. John Kerry ran for president...he was..."
"Why would I ever see a John Carey movie. I HATE John Carey! Let alone vote for him!"
"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! For the last time, it's JIM..."
(Dad yells from den:)"Goddamnit stop yelling at your mother! John Carey Sucks!!"
posted by tkchrist at 11:40 AM on December 15, 2005


AIDS is killing a lot of gays and Africans, after all.

Word. Saves the rest of us the trouble.
posted by Witty at 11:40 AM on December 15, 2005


Next year, I'm making a Fuck AIDS Day post.
posted by dios at 1:25 PM EST on December 15 [!]


Dios: you are really, truly a miserable human being. Do you know anyone who has HIV?
posted by Rothko at 11:46 AM on December 15, 2005


(By the way, for records purposes, how many cool, hipster, edgy points do people get for each reference to "Baby Jesus" in a dismissive tone?)

Fifteen. And we get thirty points for the following type of joke:

What's red and green and goes round and round and round?

A dead baby Jesus in a blender.

These points can be redeemed for merchandise anywhere it pisses you off.
posted by wakko at 11:47 AM on December 15, 2005


Next year, I'm making a Fuck AIDS Day post.

You are truly a class act, dios. But I know you won't do that so you ought to just cut your losses now and shut the hell up.
posted by wakko at 11:49 AM on December 15, 2005


In response to dios, I may not think much of my family's beliefs, or the concept of holidays in general (including an AIDS 'day') but I'm not a big enough asshat to try and ruin the season for them. Ultimately it's about making them happy in return for their misguided love of me. That's selfish if you think about it long enough, I guess, but not as selfish as pissing on them in return for that love would be.

I agree with the bulk of this rant that the war on Christmas meme is as laughable as pretty much everything Foxnews and O'Reilly, etc. get in a tizzy over. I even, briefly, contemplated rewriting this rant minus the profanity for my family to read - but in the end I doubt it would really accomplish anything of consequence. So in the end, I'll read this rant, agree with it and enjoy the carthasis of it, and then go out and celebrate Christmas with my family and die a little inside.

And that will be that.
posted by Ryvar at 11:54 AM on December 15, 2005


It's impressive how fast the swift and unequivocal condemnation gets levied against unnecessary, crass, assholery when it is something that they care about it and believe in.... but if is just one of the most important religious holidays for people who worship a religion to which they don't ascribe... well, then, lets make with the unnecessary, crass, assholery on the Front Page, and lets do it a couple times a week.
posted by dios at 11:55 AM on December 15, 2005


Me: The only war is the perceived war between secularists (who basically want religion to leave them alone) and the religious busybodies (who can't stand it when someone doesn't practice their religion).

nixerman: This smells like BS. Where are these so-called secularists? The perceived war isn't between anybody because it doesn't exist.


I think you failed to read the word perceived in my post, nixerman. In fact, you may have failed to read it in your own response. Go back, and read what you wrote again, and then spend the rest of the day wallowing in your own BS. kthnx.
posted by thanotopsis at 11:58 AM on December 15, 2005


Dios: you are really, truly a miserable human being. Do you know anyone who has HIV?

Would it really change anything if he said yes?

There are a lot of possibilities as to what "dios" is, but none of them are worth discussing. He's not a lawmaker or an influence-peddler. He's some guy who likes to argue on the Internet.

A sustained attack on him isn't going to embarass him, shut him up or turn him into a good person. The only thing it might do is act as a Viagra substitute for a few hours.
posted by I Love Tacos at 11:58 AM on December 15, 2005


You guys really know how to suck the fun out perfectly good jokes, you know that.
posted by tkchrist at 11:59 AM on December 15, 2005


but if is just one of the most important religious holidays for people who worship a religion to which they don't ascribe... well, then, lets make with the unnecessary, crass, assholery on the Front Page, and lets do it a couple times a week.

Thank you dios, for bringing this hypocrisy to light. You truly are a crusader for all that is just. By the way, did you even read the article? It's not attacking anyone's right to celebrate their religious holiday, it's attacking the people who rail against the non-existent "war" on Christmas in order to further their own goals.
posted by ludwig_van at 12:00 PM on December 15, 2005


Right there on the Front Page are the words "Fuck Christmas." If it's an attack on Fox or something else, then it should say that. But it says that right there Fuck (something extremely important to a lot of people), and it is offensive as all hell. Just like if there was a post that says "Fuck AIDS Day"--after all, you don't know what that link would go to...
posted by dios at 12:03 PM on December 15, 2005


It's impressive how fast the swift and unequivocal condemnation gets levied against unnecessary, crass, assholery when it is something that they care about it and believe in.... but if is just one of the most important religious holidays for people who worship a religion to which they don't ascribe... well, then, lets make with the unnecessary, crass, assholery on the Front Page, and lets do it a couple times a week.
posted by dios at 2:55 PM EST on December 15 [!]


Once again you spend paragraphs on blaming other people for your thuggish, trolling behavior. You are a sad, sad person.
posted by Rothko at 12:03 PM on December 15, 2005


I don't want to fuck christmas. I just wanna tease it and leave it all hot and bothered.
posted by Skygazer at 12:05 PM on December 15, 2005


Right there on the Front Page are the words "Fuck Christmas." If it's an attack on Fox or something else, then it should say that.

So you feel justified in repeatedly smearing your obnoxious, painfully unfunny sarcasm all over this thread because you feel misled by the title of an article which you may or may not have read. Alright, well as long as we've cleared that up.
posted by ludwig_van at 12:08 PM on December 15, 2005


It's thuggish and trolling to fuck AIDS day, but not thuggish and trolling to fuck Christmas? Is another religious holiday more acceptable for comparison?

I have no dog in this fight, but the pigpile on dios over something that basically offends a lot of people is pretty unfair.
posted by fet at 12:15 PM on December 15, 2005


He's martyring himself, so he can have his own holiday. Or something.
posted by quantumetric at 12:15 PM on December 15, 2005


For those who've mentioned it...I *did* read the link. I'll go on record as saying I dislike O'Reilly, Buchanan, and the rest of those wackos as much as anyone, but it's possible to rant against them and their stupidity without resorting to insulting every member of one of the world's major religions.
Many of the comments in this thread took the "Fuck Christmas" sentiment even further, and expanded it into pure religious intolerance of the kind they likely wouldn't stand for if it was directed at any faith other than Christianity.
Does anyone here really believe that John Gibson, Bill O'Reilly or Pat Robertson are representative of Christians in general? They're just assholes, and if they weren't assholes about their "War on Christmas" they'd be assholes about something else. Their behaviour is representative of assholery in general, not Christianity.
I have many friends and family who identify themselves as Christians, and you know what? They're mostly excellent people. I think they represent the religion far better than the mental midgets who've managed to get TV shows.
posted by rocket88 at 12:15 PM on December 15, 2005


It's thuggish and trolling to fuck AIDS day, but not thuggish and trolling to fuck Christmas? Is another religious holiday more acceptable for comparison?

AIDS Day is a religious holiday now and worthy of comparison with an established religious holiday like Christmas?

How low does one have to stoop to invent this shit? Does one have to climb under rocks? I'm genuinely curious about this mindset.
posted by Rothko at 12:20 PM on December 15, 2005


fet, how is AIDS Day religious in any way?

The pigpile on dios is exactly what he wanted and got, again. If you haven't been paying attention, dios is an attention whore with a predilection for stirring the pot and then pretending to not understand why people get irritated with him. He wants to derail threads and make them about him. Why people still respond to his stupidity is a mystery.
posted by fenriq at 12:21 PM on December 15, 2005


Many of the comments in this thread took the "Fuck Christmas" sentiment even further, and expanded it into pure religious intolerance of the kind they likely wouldn't stand for if it was directed at any faith other than Christianity.

Which comments? Looking over the thread, I see one that fits your description, maybe. Perhaps you should directly address the comments you find offensive, rather than engaging in such overblown grandstanding and threatening to fuck Rosh Hashana.
posted by ludwig_van at 12:22 PM on December 15, 2005


Just like if there was a post that says "Fuck AIDS Day"--after all, you don't know what that link would go to...

Then craft that FPP and let us all see, you smart little internet troll, you.
posted by wakko at 12:22 PM on December 15, 2005


Fet is right. Sheesh. Your all spazing out over dios's TRYING to be offensive over a non-issue thread about guys who are making satire on buch of people spazzing out over other people being offended over a NON-ISSUE. Keeee-righst all-MIGHTY. Just get over it all of you.

Now move on. Other wise I will be tempted to make a long diatribe about how offended I am that you are all offended over dios trying to be offesive about being offended about people being offended at others offense.. and.. I ...er...what were we talking about again?
posted by tkchrist at 12:27 PM on December 15, 2005


I have this theory that ORLY's attempts to get stores to say "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays," will end in stores ordering their employees to not mention anything and instead, the christmasy stuff will just feature snowpeople and winter scenes.
posted by drezdn at 12:29 PM on December 15, 2005


Thanks for the entertainment dios! Waiting for your standard insult the entire community and play the role of the innocent justice seeker in other upcoming threads. It's not what MetaFilter is for, but you seem to miss that in all your rants.

Yay!
posted by juiceCake at 12:32 PM on December 15, 2005


Rocket88, I 've known a couple of truly excellent Christians myself, it's a shame that mental midget assholes feel they can speak for them.

Anyhow, You know what really sucks though? That stretch of dark, freezing, cheerless twilight days that make up January and February (and part of March). Brrr....

So O'Reilly, this Gibson twat, the Fox Corporation and the Rovian spin zombies and debate hobbyists can go fuck themselves for all I care, I'm going to make sure the next couple of weeks are filled with as much light and song and and booze and fun and friends and family as possible. Slainte.

Merry Christmas and Happy holidays.
posted by Skygazer at 12:36 PM on December 15, 2005


Quite remarkably, this is a lot more thoughtful and entertaining than the Merry Christmas post. I take it back - I am not longer offended.
posted by bluesky43 at 12:36 PM on December 15, 2005


I am tempted to make a long diatribe about how the post should have been rephrased to "Fuck Noel!", but then all the people named Noel in the world would have been offended and the War on the War on Noel would have started. And that wouldn't have been fun. Not one bit.
posted by funambulist at 12:45 PM on December 15, 2005


The pigpile on dios is exactly what he wanted and got, again. If you haven't been paying attention, dios is an attention whore with a predilection for stirring the pot and then pretending to not understand why people get irritated with him. He wants to derail threads and make them about him. Why people still respond to his stupidity is a mystery.
posted by fenriq at 3:21 PM EST on December 15 [!]


Either Dios is being stupid on purpose, or the only other possible explanation is that he is somehow trying to compare an incurable disease like AIDS with Christmas, as Dios believes Christians are mentally ill, and they use Christmas to celebrate their insanity — and therefore both "holidays" as such should be "fucked" somehow.
posted by Rothko at 12:50 PM on December 15, 2005


Jesus is the answer!

Um, what was the question?
posted by ericb at 12:55 PM on December 15, 2005


You guys really know how to suck the fun out perfectly good jokes, you know that.

That's the problem with posting stuff to metafilter that's really only good for making jokes about. If there's some way to get offended by it, you know somebody will. There's always some people willing to have serious discussions about the most ridiculous things, with no connection at all to any kind of reality, and imagined offense everywhere. When two of those people are dios and Rothko, you know it's not going to go well.

The "fuck Christmas" rant is amusing enough, but the premise -- that we should take what "FOX news" says seriously enough to spend time ranting against it -- is inherently insane. You can rant against FOX news itself, sort of a meta-rant, because of what it does to people who do take it seriously. That would be fine. Arguing with those people, though, on their own terms and in their own language no less, is something you might have fun doing, but it's not something that makes sense for anyone else to read unless you happen to do it in a really clever and amusing style, in which case it's going to be good only for making jokes about.

Really, when you take this shit seriously you are hurting America. You are contributing to the degeneration of public debate on serious subjects into shit-slinging politics. You are making both metafilter and the baby Jesus cry. Fuck "fuck Christmas". You can do better than that, America.
posted by sfenders at 12:55 PM on December 15, 2005


"Fuck "fuck Christmas". You can do better than that, America. "

Fuck Fuck "fuck Christmas."" We cannot.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:58 PM on December 15, 2005


If it were "Fuck Noel Edmonds" then I'm sure there'd be even more supporters in the streets.
posted by longbaugh at 1:02 PM on December 15, 2005


Fuck Noel Coward. Please.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:05 PM on December 15, 2005


Since Christmas really has nothing to do with Christ, I celebrate the hell out of it, hate religion, and I never consider it a conflict.

This year Christmas is getting me a new video card. That's reason enough to celebrate for anyone!
posted by WinnipegDragon at 1:14 PM on December 15, 2005


Fuck Noel Redding.
posted by fixedgear at 1:14 PM on December 15, 2005


Right there on the Front Page are the words "Fuck Christmas." If it's an attack on Fox or something else, then it should say that. But it says that right there Fuck (something extremely important to a lot of people), and it is offensive as all hell. Just like if there was a post that says "Fuck AIDS Day"--after all, you don't know what that link would go to...

Yeah, but then you could click on the link and draw your own damn conclusions. If there were a Fuck AIDS Day link on the FP, I would click on it out of curiosity. If the content on the other end was offensive to me, I'd say so in a comment, explaining why. If it wasn't offensive, I wouldn't be complaining about it. So stop all this politically correct Christian-as-Victim bullshit. It doesn't fly.
posted by brundlefly at 1:20 PM on December 15, 2005


yeah, and fuck Noel Gay.
posted by sfenders at 1:20 PM on December 15, 2005


happy dios day, everybody!
posted by lord_wolf at 1:20 PM on December 15, 2005


Dios de los Muertos? Fuck...
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:41 PM on December 15, 2005


So like, when are the Christian soldiers going to march against the Babylon harlot retailers?

I need the rivers of blood, baby!

. . .

There's too many atheists in Target, Falwell back!
posted by The Jesse Helms at 1:49 PM on December 15, 2005


Torpedo the Kennedy yacht! Oh shit, it's a hurricane from God! Reverse course to the MegaChurch!
posted by The Jesse Helms at 1:51 PM on December 15, 2005


There is a WAR ON DIOS people! When will you all see that!
posted by chunking express at 1:56 PM on December 15, 2005


Fuck
posted by fullerine at 2:29 PM on December 15, 2005


Know how I knew Christmas season was upon us?
It wasn't the carols in the mall, or lame commercials, or the gangs of Fundamentalists who apparently have been hassling many of you.
No, I knew it was yule time when I heard my first "Fuck Christmas, man."
No matter how articulate the sentiment is expressed, I always get a mental image of a 12 year old who has gotten one too many sweaters from his nana and whose deepest wish is to be adopted by Sarah Silverman and David Cross.

Is it just me, or does anyone else suspect that *hiss!* FOX News' audience is mostly made up of people who watch it merely to work themselves into a lather? If you have to go that far out of your way to get offended, congrats! You have far more time and energy to waste than most people!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 2:58 PM on December 15, 2005


Oh, for fuck's sake.
posted by Joeforking at 3:13 PM on December 15, 2005


I'll take Linus over Jesus any day.
posted by bardic at 3:21 PM on December 15, 2005


Wow, with all the fucking language in here, I can't tell if it's more like Scarface or porn....
posted by Farengast at 3:28 PM on December 15, 2005


Alvy Ampersand writes "Is it just me, or does anyone else suspect that *hiss!* FOX News' audience is mostly made up of people who watch it merely to work themselves into a lather? If you have to go that far out of your way to get offended, congrats! You have far more time and energy to waste than most people!"

I'm afraid to say "Happy Holidays" for fear some holy roller with a chip on their shoulder will go into a Fox News/ego-fueled berserker rage and beat me to death with their Bible.

When majorly influential media figures are shouting about how I'm the enemy in some perceived war -- that I'm "fascist," that I'm "anti-Christian" in a country where non-Christians are in the distinct minority -- color me concerned.
posted by brundlefly at 3:52 PM on December 15, 2005


I did fuck Christmas, and now Christmas has AIDS. sorry
posted by found missing at 4:10 PM on December 15, 2005


That's funny brundlefly, most sincere Christians are probably scared of wishing folks a "Merry Christmas" for reasons similar to yours.

Not funny ha-ha, mind you.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 4:19 PM on December 15, 2005


Well, Alvy, these hypothetical Christians have been misled. No one, and I mean no one, gets offended if you say Merry Christmas. I say it all the time, using it interchangeably with Happy Holidays. No one really cares. These Fox News blowhards are manufacturing it from whole cloth. Certain companies have made the business decision of requiring their employees to say Happy Holidays so as not to alienate non-Christian customers. It's a business decision. That's it.

If you say Merry Christmas to someone, they're not going to point at you and scream, "Christian Supremecist!" If you own a business and you make it company policy to say Merry Christmas, no one is going to boycott you. No pundit is going to say a word.

The Fox News people are creating a conflict (with an imaginary enemy) from scratch, and I think it's really irresponsible.
posted by brundlefly at 4:50 PM on December 15, 2005


"Supremacist"

Dang it.
posted by brundlefly at 4:51 PM on December 15, 2005


Why people still respond to his stupidity is a mystery.

The real mystery is why dios's posts aren't ever deleted.

My best guess is that people send friends links to particularly "crazy" discussions, and the resulting advertising revenue increase makes the manufactured controversy a better option from MetaFilter's point of view.

The fact that the same small number of people are allowed to post the same crap indicates they must have a neutral or positive impact on the business. Perhaps if people refuse to engage them this benefit will disappear, and the admins will be forced to rethink their strategy.
posted by I Love Tacos at 4:57 PM on December 15, 2005


Dios, the capitalist tool.
posted by found missing at 4:59 PM on December 15, 2005


Right there on the Front Page are the words "Fuck Christmas." If it's an attack on Fox or something else, then it should say that.

Dios, I'm sorry dude. I meant to say fuck Bill O'Reilly, fuck tweens and the cocksuckers who sell them shit. But I was going for brevity.
posted by MarkO at 5:05 PM on December 15, 2005


On second thought, there are actually a lot of other ways that having a few "controversial" users could possibly be beneficial.

I don't run this sort of business, but I'd imagine the admins could give us metrics tying differing types of discussions to effects on a wide variety of short and long-term revenue sources.

I'd be extremely interested to see how that all works out, in the end.
posted by I Love Tacos at 5:08 PM on December 15, 2005


whose deepest wish is to be adopted by Sarah Silverman and David Cross

Hey! That's my deepest wish! And who the hell is David Cross?
posted by Sparx at 5:09 PM on December 15, 2005


I heard Sarah Silverman was hung on David Cross. Oh, the taint!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:16 PM on December 15, 2005


Yeah, Dios, the 'fuck AIDS day' thing was ridiculous - Christmas isn't primarily a fundraising event for a subsection of the population who're suffering and dying, as you well know. If you were to post 'fuck Darwin's birthday' or something, that might be approaching a reasonable comparison, but I doubt many people would be particularly offended.

I love Christmas. I love the shitty, tacky flashing lights and decorations, I love getting together with family and friends and I love buying people presents. The Christmas I celebrate is emphatically not a religious holiday, though - in the same way that the pre-Christian winter festivals were shorn of their meaning to make way for the celebration of the birth of baby Jesus (5 hipster points get!), the Christian myth has been pushed aside to make way for a largely secular winter holiday, with presents, trees and Santa.

The 'war on Christmas' is just the hardcore Christians trying to force the ever-evolving winter festival back into its previous form, just as the pagans inevitably did, and the folks before them, and so on. They can keep celebrating the way they always have, but as ever, nobody else is allowed to do it differently or they'll throw their toys out of the pram. If a significant majority really gave a shit about keeping Christmas religious, there'd be no need for the debate, since the damn holiday wouldn't have been publically secularised in the first place.
posted by terpsichoria at 5:36 PM on December 15, 2005


...
“i am 8 years old.
some of my liberal friends say there is no war on christmas. they say it’s just another code-word-filled wedge distraction to keep us from discussing real issues like iraq, the deficit, the patriot act, katrina and the administrations abysmal record on human rights. papa says, ‘if you see it on the internets, it’s so.’ please tell me the truth, is there a war on christmas?”

virginia o’scamlon

virginia, ...

posted by amberglow at 5:57 PM on December 15, 2005


War in Iraq, war against terrorism, war in Afghanistan, move over -- today, House GOP leaders have decided there is a more pressing war to attend to: the fictional war against Christmas, which apparently requires protection for Christmas symbols. And what happened when Democrats asked that the symbols of Chanukah be protected along with the symbols of Christmas? The House GOP simply said "no." ...
posted by amberglow at 6:05 PM on December 15, 2005


The War On Christmas (as told in film by Ken Burns)Fade in
VOICEOVER, PREFERABLY DAVID MCCULLOUGH: In 2005, the United States of America found itself torn asunder once more. Brother fought brother, aunt fought uncle, Christian fought Jew, and Fox News fought reality. ...

posted by amberglow at 6:07 PM on December 15, 2005


It's really funny how Bill O'Reilly and friends and Dios can so easily get you tools all wound up.
posted by shoos at 7:23 PM on December 15, 2005


That was a fun enough piece of rhetoric, but only really made two extremely trite and rather irrelevant points:

1. Right-wing journos have a habit of criticising perceived politically-correct attacks on valued social behaviours or institutions; and

2. Christmas and Easter are built on pagan traditions - a point that might surprise a particularly ignorant undergrad, but is surely not news to anybody else.

...or did I miss something amidst all the swearing?
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:49 PM on December 15, 2005


Zencast
posted by MarkO at 9:13 PM on December 15, 2005


An act of desperation by Gibson et al to win over more angry white people to their side.

Another non-issue concocted by the Right to get non-rich people to vote for Republicans (see: abortion, gay marriage, flag burning.
posted by wfc123 at 10:02 PM on December 15, 2005


Merry Christmas

posted by caddis at 10:46 PM on December 15, 2005


Reminds me of Matt Taibbi's God Can Suck My Dick.
posted by abcde at 10:55 PM on December 15, 2005


A truly strange development. What was once an inclusive, heartfelt wish for another's well-being becomes exclusive.

Retailers drop the direct reference to Christ, thinking no one will really notice; and indeed no one does care particularly.

Some right-wing attention-hounds make a case for yet another 'war' and everyone duly freaks out.

And now ya know, I don't think I'm ever going to wish anyone, whom I'm not sure is a Christian, "Merry Christmas" ever again. Which creates an actual divisive situation where only a recently imagined one existed before.

All very strange and... self-fullfilling.
posted by scheptech at 10:57 PM on December 15, 2005


For those who say ranting against Fox News is pointless and it should be best ignored: you do know it's broadcast on satellite across the whole world, do you?

Just think about it. Maybe a marginal point to you, but, you know, perhaps worth considering.

And I cannot even begin to describe the effect of watching 30 minutes of Fox News when you're not American. Let's just say it's a mixture of hilarity and terror. Shock and awe...
posted by funambulist at 12:58 AM on December 16, 2005


MERRY CHRISTMAS!

And I'm an ATHEIST! Haha - joke's on you.
posted by Sparx at 1:10 AM on December 16, 2005


Personally, I'll never understand why anyone with an IQ above room-temperature pays any attention to FOX News.

For example, over at said FOX News.com, they completely fail to practice what they preach, like that's a frikken surprise.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 2:40 AM on December 16, 2005


Somehow i never knew that Bill O'Reilly had been smacked with a sexual harrassment suit. What ever happened with that, anyhow? This was basically the only bit of new info i came across after hitting a good 95% of the links mentioned in the article.

On Co-opting pagan beliefs: This is not a reason to fuck Christmas. Being coerced into maxing out your credit card for gifts to give to people you see once a year is a reason to fuck Christmas.

Also: Happy Chanukwanzmas [no 'dan' in the bunch this year, as it fell between Oct-November].
posted by phylum sinter at 3:20 AM on December 16, 2005


Thanks fullerine, that was fascinating.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:30 AM on December 16, 2005


phylum sinter writes "What ever happened with that, anyhow?"

Wikipedia breaks it down fairly succinctly. O'Reilly felt that it was unfair because he's famous and famous people cannot take action against us mere mortals when there is concrete evidence of their wrongdoing (the tapes) and we take them to task (court).

The fact that the case was settled quietly, both parties are not allowed to discuss the details, and O'Reilly now requires a minder whenever interviewing someone (I'm sure that's to cover FOX's ass) leads me to believe that they accusations were far from baseless.
posted by purephase at 5:00 AM on December 16, 2005


I'm an athiest and I like Christmas. It gives me time off from work, good food, good drink, exchanging gifts with family and firends and more importantly signals the coming bebauchery of New Year's Eve.
posted by melt away at 6:15 AM on December 16, 2005


I should stop putting alcohol in my coffee...
posted by melt away at 6:23 AM on December 16, 2005


No, no. There's nothing like good ole' fashioned bebauchery.

Have another coffee. ;)
posted by purephase at 6:39 AM on December 16, 2005


The pigpile on dios is exactly what he wanted and got, again. If you haven't been paying attention, dios is an attention whore with a predilection for stirring the pot and then pretending to not understand why people get irritated with him. He wants to derail threads and make them about him. Why people still respond to his stupidity is a mystery.

Fenriq broke my irony meter :(
posted by phearlez at 8:27 AM on December 16, 2005


http://www.falaphilia.com/
posted by caddis at 8:47 AM on December 16, 2005


I prefer to make sweet love to Christmas.
posted by wah at 10:23 AM on December 16, 2005


Still angry with Bill O'Riley? Move on please- jeez.
posted by PHINC at 2:01 PM on December 16, 2005


I am not angry with Mr. O'Reilly; we need a court jester and he is it. Would you please pass him the falafel?
posted by caddis at 2:31 PM on December 16, 2005


The "fuck Christmas" rant is amusing enough, but the premise -- that we should take what "FOX news" says seriously enough to spend time ranting against it -- is inherently insane
Sure we can ignore it-- I have no interest in what that jackass O'Reilly has to ssay, unfortunately his message is working-- Christians really are getting angry about this "War on Christmas." Here is a letter that was in the Raleigh N & O this morning:

I can't take it anymore. As far back as I can remember there has never been such an assault on the Christian faith.
Jesus is the reason for our season! Those who don't think so should use their rights of free speech to put up signs, decorations or whatever the would use to express what they think Christmas is all about. Had there never been a baby boy born in Bethlehem there would never have been a reason to celebrate His birth.
Do we as human beings not have more important things to do than not to allow each of us to celebrate in the way we each habe a right to? I choose to follow Christ. One day He will have the last word on who was right, but until then, choose peace as far as it depends on you.

Heidi Massey
Clayton

I don't know what happened to Heidi, but it sounds like she is rubbing her hands in anticipation of the big Jesus smack down all us non-Christians have coming to us.

Meanwhile, I am innocently thumbing through the pages of my New Yorker and come across this ad:
Christmasrapping.com
Is Macy's banning Christmas? Tired of "Holiday" when it is really "Christmas?" Visit christmasrapping.com a free, non-commercial, interactive guide to keep Christmas in the public arena. Make a difference.


Upon visiting the web site, I found under activism admonishments to decorate your yard with a "Christmacy" theme and the example given is a large Santa. Also buy cards that say Merry Christmas:

The Sierra Club only has a variety of non-specific winter cards and others that are blank on the inside. As a member I'll write to them that I'm looking for cards that have a Christmas greeting already printed on the inside so I can spend my time writing other thoughts and remembrances. (The bold is mine)

In particular the site's author has a real dislike of Hannakuh competeing with Christmas:
In an attempt to make Hanukkah "The Jewish Christmas", parents tell their children that Hanukkah is even better than Christmas; Christmas is only one day whereas Hanukkah goes on for eight, making it a bigger party with more presents. Teaching children about Hanukkah like this encourages negative views about Christmas and doesn't build positive views about Judaism.

In my opinion, many Jews have inflated their otherwise minor holiday because they seem to feel they must compete with Christmas, thus turning the festive season into a platform for asserting religious identity. Christmas red and green is answered by blue and white, and nowhere in the world, except to counterbalance a towering, resplendent Christmas tree, would we find a giant menorah in the middle of downtown.

posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:19 PM on December 16, 2005


I don't care about Christmas, but I would like to have sex with Santa Claus (link NSFW).
posted by deusdiabolus at 10:14 PM on December 16, 2005


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