Shameless Congressional ho ho ho

December 16, 2005 1:55 PM

Congressional Resolution To "Defend Christmas" meets The History Channel...H. RES. 579: "Whereas the Framers intended that the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States would prohibit the establishment of religion....Now, therefore, be it Resolved, That the House of Representatives-- (1) recognizes the importance of the symbols and traditions of Christmas; (2) strongly disapproves of attempts to ban references to Christmas; and (3) expresses support for the use of these symbols and traditions.". The bizarreness of that statement aside, what were US Christmas traditions at the time of the "framers" ? : see the History Channel for the real story of [ American ] Christmas.
posted by troutfishing (37 comments total)

Because of the guidelines of this site I can't discuss my inspiration for this post. 'Nuff said.
posted by troutfishing at 1:57 PM on December 16, 2005

I can't discuss my inspiration for this post.

Huh? You were self-inspired?
posted by StickyCarpet at 2:06 PM on December 16, 2005

Because of the guidelines of this site I can't discuss my inspiration for this post.

*snicker*
posted by quonsar at 2:08 PM on December 16, 2005

Whereas I hate you ... Now therefore be it resolved that I love you.
posted by luriete at 2:10 PM on December 16, 2005

Dingell's Holiday Jingle
posted by homunculus at 2:12 PM on December 16, 2005

[via]
posted by monju_bosatsu at 2:13 PM on December 16, 2005

I'm telling Bill O'Reilly on you...
posted by kgasmart at 2:14 PM on December 16, 2005

Oh, and I like how your ellipsis completely gutted the point of the whereas clause. It reads, in full, "Whereas the Framers intended that the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States would prohibit the establishment of religion, not prohibit any mention of religion or reference to God in civic dialog:" (emphasis added)
posted by monju_bosatsu at 2:18 PM on December 16, 2005

I am so conflicted. My Pilgrim ancestors in Plimouth sat in church on Christmas in stony silence and grim contemplation. My French Canadian ancestors whooped it up with all kinds of idolotry and Papery. I've taken to setting up my Christmas tree and then setting fire to it. Then I go carolling and lock myself up in the stocks with a scarlet "C" on my chest.
posted by Biblio at 2:18 PM on December 16, 2005

Rep. Bobby Scott (D-VA): "Madam Speaker, this resolution purports to protect the symbols of Christmas, but what really needs to be protected are not the symbols of Christmas, but rather the spirit of Christmas. The spirit of Christmas demands generosity and goodwill towards others. Instead of legislation that respects the spirit of Christmas, Congress in just these past few weeks has passed a budget that includes mean-spirited attacks on the least of us. For those who are hungry, we are cutting food stamps. For those who are sick, we are cutting Medicaid. For those who are in prison, we are imposing senseless mandatory minimums. For others we are ignoring increases in heating costs and cutting student loans. At the same time we are cutting those programs to help the least of us, we are cutting taxes for the wealthiest in society. Madam Speaker, we ought to express our passion for Christmas through deeds, not words; and we should not be distracted from our responsibility to uphold the spirit of Christmas as we consider the effects our actions on the Federal budget will have on the least of us during this holiday season. For these reasons I oppose this resolution."

posted by caddis at 2:20 PM on December 16, 2005

History museums have beating their heads against this wall for years. Particularly in New England, "colonial Christmas" was a non-entity.
posted by Miko at 2:20 PM on December 16, 2005

The American system of government is either very interesting or very stupid...I can't decide which. I thought congress was a legislative body - designed to make laws and stuff. Since when is it the purpose of the House of Representatives to "strongly disapprove" and "express support" for symbols and traditions?
posted by rocket88 at 2:24 PM on December 16, 2005

not prohibit any mention of religion or reference to God in civic dialog

Um, isn't she mentioning religion, in, um, a civic dialog.

Wow, these freedom fighters really know how to live life on the edge!

On, preview, rocket88, did you forget Freedom Fries already?
posted by Otis at 2:28 PM on December 16, 2005

Many if not most Puritans didn't celebrate Xmas, at least not in a cheerful way. Kind of like Jehovah's Witnesses--strictly literal Bible interpretation, which doesn't call for any type of annual celebration for baby Jesus, or any holidays for that matter.

I'm really hoping for a watch though. A nice one. My family can be really dense sometimes.
posted by bardic at 2:30 PM on December 16, 2005

But (aside from passing laws) being the forum for debate is the point of legislatures in a Presidential system, isn't it? The President has the executive power, they are the representative body that gets to discuss issues and say what they think about them.

The UK Parliament does similar support-style resolutions, but they are not usually debated, and are more like petitions. They are called "Early Day Motions", for some reason, and you can see some of them here.
posted by athenian at 2:31 PM on December 16, 2005

My Pilgrim ancestors in Plimouth

my pilgrim ancestors rocked my plimsoul.
posted by quonsar at 2:43 PM on December 16, 2005

This War on Christmas, it's bullshit?
posted by Captaintripps at 2:47 PM on December 16, 2005

As others have argued better than I can, at some point, certain types of Christianity ceased being the religion of Christ and because the religion about Christ. Behaving in a way that is consistent with the ideals of Jesus, to these specific Christians, is less important than making sure the name of Jesus is protected. The point that taking care of the poor and weak should take precedence over arguing about how one says "hello" and "goodbye" in December is well taken.

Also, there was a great Daily Show bit where O'Reilly is quoted as saying that sane non-Christians aren't offended by "Merry Christmas" since its just two little words counterposed with O'Reilly's statement that all Christians do take offense to "Happy Holidays" was very funny.

Finally, parodies of seasonal poems rank only slightly higher than the famous dogs barking version of "Jingle Bells" on my list of things that I despise about this time of year.
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:54 PM on December 16, 2005

I am so happy the House is spending time on this type of shit. Please Lord, if you're out there, knock some sense into these fools that are purporting to do this crap in your name.
posted by birdherder at 3:02 PM on December 16, 2005

As has been said many times before, "Jesus was a good guy; it's his fan-club I can't stand."
posted by Richard Daly at 3:31 PM on December 16, 2005

"I like your Christ.
I do not like your Christians.
They are so unlike your Christ."
- M. Gandhi
[/Ahem..]
posted by infomaniac at 3:37 PM on December 16, 2005

I think it's just awesome that my representative is supporting this bull. Just so frickin' awesome.
posted by thecaddy at 4:09 PM on December 16, 2005

at some point, certain types of Christianity ceased being the religion of Christ and because the religion about Christ

"Christianists", one would suppose.

I got dragged to a wallbuilders.org speaker at what passed for a church service last week down in Riverside City. These Christianists are playing for keeps, lemme tell you.
posted by Heywood Mogroot at 4:11 PM on December 16, 2005

"Jesus was a good guy; it's his fan-club I can't stand."

Reminds me of, "Why get reborn when you can just grow up?"
posted by snsranch at 4:37 PM on December 16, 2005

This is why people don't vote.
posted by mrgrimm at 5:23 PM on December 16, 2005

is the "american jesus" going to sprout horns soon ? cause so far he is the lord and master of evil and stupid people.

(not trolling here, just honestly can't understand "Christians" anymore.) my mom and dad would throw their first born into the fire for this deity , if he asked them to.
posted by nola at 5:25 PM on December 16, 2005

my mom and dad would throw their first born into the fire for this deity

When I told my mom I was thinking of running for Congress, the first thing she said was, "you know I wouldn't be able to vote for you...".

Me: "yeah, I know."
posted by Heywood Mogroot at 5:55 PM on December 16, 2005

love you to mom.
posted by nola at 6:16 PM on December 16, 2005

Then again if you really think/believe abortion is murder then the die's pretty much cast, right?
posted by Heywood Mogroot at 6:40 PM on December 16, 2005

My family actually does reach back to precolonial times, and we keep the spirit of colonial Christmas pure: nobody has fun, nobody is cheerful, and we sit around judging each other in silence. :-)

I think this I'll give my brother what he's always wanted-- stocks.
posted by gesamtkunstwerk at 8:12 PM on December 16, 2005

The kind that are ownership in a company, or the kind that you put miscreants in?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:57 PM on December 16, 2005

Would anyone feel better if they knew the resolution may have been the result of a coordinated troll? I'm not saying it was...but if...
posted by ryoshu at 10:04 PM on December 16, 2005

*sigh* ...just another religious area the government should NOT be meddling with - like defining "marriage" and telling gays they can't have it. here i was thinking that the war was our biggest concern.

i love the "Why get reborn when you can just grow up?" quote btw!
posted by Doorstop at 12:09 AM on December 17, 2005

Boy, those puritans...talk about making Baby Jeebus cry! I'm glad that my saxon ancestors participated in naked druidic tree worship. we got the pining for the pine, that's for sure.
posted by beelzbubba at 7:54 AM on December 17, 2005

The even funnier bit is that the next item on the House floor that legislative day was a resolution urging the President to isue a proclamation recognizing National Jewish History Month.

No joke.
posted by teferi at 9:00 AM on December 17, 2005

Now, therefore, be it Resolved, That the House of Representatives-- (1) recognizes the importance of the symbols and traditions of Christmas

So would those symbols and traditions include:

Frosty the Snowman?
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Raindeer?
The Little Drummer Boy?
Yukon Cornelius?
Scrooge?
Mistletoe?

And how does my congress stand on the opening of one present Christmas Eve? Yes or no? Is it the AMERICAN way to save all your presents until Christmas Day? Plum Pudding vs. Trifle? Eggnog, should it be spiked? Is it more American to eat Turkey, Ham or Roast Beef? What about colors other than red and white for candy canes? Do I have to go to church Christmas morning, and if so do I have to wear a sweater with forty pounds of sequins, glitter, embroidery and tiny gold balls like all the other ladies?

We need our congress to tell us what to think on these matters.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 12:15 PM on December 17, 2005

Three houses down the street from where I live is a seven foot tall vinyl internally lit grinch. Green, of course. A smirking Grinch. I'm not sure what it's intended to convey : maybe anticonsumerism ?
posted by troutfishing at 4:12 AM on December 19, 2005