A feeling of warmth, security and self-esteem.

December 19, 2005 11:24 AM

Ever wish you weren't circumsized? (NSFW) The SenSlip is a very flexible garment for the penis. It is available in Caucasian Pink (mid-brown and dark brown colours will be available soon). Make sure you check out the video demo. [via]
posted by If I Had An Anus (154 comments total)

cut it off, and replace it with a bit of plastic. weird no?

actually the whole cutting it off part bothers me on its own. (unless ur Jewish, then go for it!)
posted by lemonfridge at 11:29 AM on December 19, 2005

The circumcised penis is what separates men from animals.
posted by The Jesse Helms at 11:32 AM on December 19, 2005

Yes, senseless acts of barbarism and mutilation do separate us from the animals.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:33 AM on December 19, 2005

Man, that’d be great if something like that just fell off while I was doing heavy quad work at the gym. (mimicry): “GRRRRRUGH!” -plop- “OH GOD NO! MY FORESKIN!”

Yeah, I gotta get me one of those. Hmm....maybe if I get one in black I can say “Waitaminute! This isn’t mine!”
(Too Sam Kinnison?)
I wonder if you can get fake testicles. Hmmm...
posted by Smedleyman at 11:34 AM on December 19, 2005

/I like the streamlined “Kojak” look myself. But to each his own. My Godfather is Jewish (long story) so I’m pretty much JBA anyway. I figure part of me should be kosher.
posted by Smedleyman at 11:36 AM on December 19, 2005

The circumcised penis is what separates men from animals.

Oh, it doesn't have to separate.
posted by Wolfdog at 11:37 AM on December 19, 2005

You have got to be shitting me. Has the pharmaceutical/medical community invented another insecurity it can exploit for profit?
posted by psmealey at 11:37 AM on December 19, 2005

Wow, I didn't know plastics technology had advanced to the point where it could replaced severed nerve endings damaged 'n' number of years ago...!!!!

Oh, wait - you mean this is just a rubber sock for yer cock?

I thought we had that technology all 'covered' by now...
posted by jkaczor at 11:41 AM on December 19, 2005

The circumcised penis is what separates men from animals.

That, and the fact that it doesn't go inside us when we stand up.

As for the linked item: Jeepers.
posted by Gator at 11:42 AM on December 19, 2005

the size chart .pdf is hilarious
posted by matteo at 11:43 AM on December 19, 2005

I wonder if you can get fake testicles. Hmmm...

Neuticles! For Dogs!
posted by mr.curmudgeon at 11:44 AM on December 19, 2005

/snark mode on

the juxtiposition of the user name of the poster of this post and the content of the post is cause for alarm.......

will i soon be getting spam e/mails advertising this as well?

can we do a post about penis enlargement pills?

/snark mode off
posted by HuronBob at 11:45 AM on December 19, 2005

Supposedly, jkaczor, the skin on your head grows thick and insensitive after the procedure. This "garment" thins it back out again. Voilá, you become even quicker to disappoint your ladyfriends.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 11:45 AM on December 19, 2005

Man, that’d be great if something like that just fell off while I was doing heavy quad work at the gym.

Man, SOBE Power stings coming out of your nose.
posted by tetsuo at 11:46 AM on December 19, 2005

Pepsi blue balls, HuronBob?
posted by If I Had An Anus at 11:47 AM on December 19, 2005

Looks to be a fun thread. Let's get this party started, shall we?

Circumcision reduces HIV infection rate,
Circumcision increases HIV infection rate.

No head-butting, and remember to have fun!
posted by Ryvar at 11:47 AM on December 19, 2005

/snark mode on

the juxtiposition of the user name of the poster of this post and the content of the post is cause for alarm.......



Born without an anus? You no longer have to feel the shame of being rectally challenged. Introducing the New, Revolutionary, SensoSkin(tm) Rear Replacement Technology!

"My girlfriend was rectally challenged. And now with RRT, she feels like a new woman!"
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:47 AM on December 19, 2005

Supposedly, jkaczor, the skin on your head grows thick and insensitive after the procedure. This "garment" thins it back out again. Voilá, you become even quicker to disappoint your ladyfriends.

There's no 'supposedly' about it. The process is called keratinization (sp?), and is well-documented. When body parts that aren't supposed to be exposed are exposed, they become tougher and less sensitive. This is medical fact.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:49 AM on December 19, 2005

I read the other day that circumcision reduces risk of of penis cancer by 30 percent. yes. Penis cancer.
posted by Mach5 at 11:52 AM on December 19, 2005

I'm sure this thread ain't going to be too pretty.

I guess this means that the roundheads could have a chance of finding out what it's like on the other side as we anteaters have always been able to do.

[Speaking of which, maybe I can sneak in an AskMe on the subject. I remember a scene from a movie where two cops are staking out a men's washroom (in the air vent I think)...Cop 1: 'How are we going to pass the time?' Cop 2: 'We can bet on whether the next guy is anteater or roundhead'. Any idea on the movie?]
posted by i_cola at 11:52 AM on December 19, 2005

Yeah, yeah, great - but does it come with artificial smegma?
posted by MaxVonCretin at 11:54 AM on December 19, 2005

Funny how some people seem to be under the impression that "circumcision" means "chopping it off".

Fact is, very few people have been on both sides of that experience, so I don't see why there is such violent debate on the issue...
posted by clevershark at 11:54 AM on December 19, 2005

I read the other day that circumcision reduces risk of of penis cancer by 30 percent. yes. Penis cancer.

Yikes! The sound you just heard was that of thousands of (male) Mefi readers crossing their legs.
posted by clevershark at 11:56 AM on December 19, 2005

great film, two thumbs up
posted by mr.marx at 12:01 PM on December 19, 2005

penis cancer:

ELVIS

I was dreamin'. Dreamin' my dick was out and I was checkin' to see if that infected bump on the head of it had filled with pus again. If it had, I was gonna name it after my ex-wife Priscilla and bust it by jackin' off. Or I'd like to think that's what I'd do. Dreams let you think like that. Truth was, I hadn't had a hard-on in years.

Joe R Lansdale's Bubba Ho-Tep
posted by matteo at 12:03 PM on December 19, 2005

this product may just have what it takes to get ahead in today's world.
posted by wakko at 12:04 PM on December 19, 2005

I'm sure this thread ain't going to be too pretty.

It would be if it were circumcised.
posted by The Jesse Helms at 12:05 PM on December 19, 2005

I read the other day that circumcision reduces risk of of penis cancer by 30 percent. yes. Penis cancer.

So your chances of getting penile cancer is now 1 in 285715 instead of my 1 in 200000. Do you really feel that much safer?
posted by Rubbstone at 12:09 PM on December 19, 2005

As someone who has had sex with both types of penises I can tell you that I can't tell the difference, although uncircumcised penises are a bit more interesting to, um, handle (?)

So as a woman, I have to ask: Is the main reason to cut the skin off it keep it clean? If so, wouldn't you rather teach your sons how to keep clean? It seems so drastic if it's just an aesthetic thing.

If it wasn't clean, I would think that your partners objections would get you to high tail it in for a good scrubbing, no?
posted by Red58 at 12:09 PM on December 19, 2005

And AIDs. Whatever. Only freaks aren't ;- )
posted by ParisParamus at 12:09 PM on December 19, 2005

I think uncircumcised penises are ugly, and they really do look 'animalish' to me. If people want to leave themselves uncut, more power too 'em, but I still think it's weird.
posted by delmoi at 12:11 PM on December 19, 2005

...you become even quicker to disappoint your ladyfriends.

I weep...for your lack of technique.
posted by i_cola at 12:11 PM on December 19, 2005

sorta makes sense to keep the glans covered, long term. Aside from hygiene, but the body's got so many hygienic troublespots that one more isn't a big deal.
posted by Heywood Mogroot at 12:15 PM on December 19, 2005

Circumcision increases HIV infection rate.

According to the linked article

Three studies have linked the foreskin to HIV infection by looking at maps, instead of men. These studies found an association between the practice of male circumcision at a societal level and regional HIV seroprevalence in Africa.

That's simply a false, and the rest of the article isn't even worth reading. (And it's not a published study, just some dude's ranting)
posted by delmoi at 12:15 PM on December 19, 2005

Don't cry for me i-underscore-cola
The truth is I never let down
All through my wild days
My mad existence
I keep my promise
So keep your distance
posted by If I Had An Anus at 12:18 PM on December 19, 2005

Actualy, now that I think about it, my circumcision wasn't minor enough so that my 'glands' are still covered when I'm not erect. I think. I'm at work right now so i can't really check.
posted by delmoi at 12:18 PM on December 19, 2005

Ugh, I mean it was minor enough that my glands are covered up when not erect. As in, not very much skin was taken off. That's hard statement to phrase.
posted by delmoi at 12:20 PM on December 19, 2005

and they really do look 'animalish' to me.

Ditto.

On closer reading, you're right about the article quality (I was mostly linking that for coverage-of-both-sides appeal).
posted by Ryvar at 12:23 PM on December 19, 2005

IIHAA: *Mad applause* *Throws flowers at the stage*

delmoi: Checking out your knob end when you're on the internet at work might not be the best idea...
posted by i_cola at 12:35 PM on December 19, 2005

... you become even quicker to disappoint your ladyfriends.

HEY! How did you kn.....

Oh, I mean - how informative!

;-)
posted by jkaczor at 12:38 PM on December 19, 2005

delmoi: Do you mean glans?

I can't believe I'm having this conversation.
posted by grouse at 12:43 PM on December 19, 2005

Among other barbaric practise whose scientific foundations are close to intelligent design it's a good time to remember about Clitoridectomywhich is the practice of mutilating female genitals.

Some baby girls are forced into this damaging and life-alterning mutilation as much as baby boys are subject to circumcision.

I guess laws on the subject would be of little or negative consequence..can't reason with extremist believers..so I guess pressure into comformance is the way to go, but I guess it would easily turn into yet another form of racism.
posted by elpapacito at 12:43 PM on December 19, 2005

You know what? I like my circumsized self. And since I don't remember any pain, nor do I find sex lacking, I'm quite content with how I am. No need for this to turn into some pissing contest.
posted by NationalKato at 12:46 PM on December 19, 2005

Decapitation reduces the risk of brain cancer by 100%.
posted by fleetmouse at 12:46 PM on December 19, 2005

The circumcised penis is what separates men from animals.

Been screwing animals again have we? You really should use a condom.
posted by Pollomacho at 12:49 PM on December 19, 2005

Well, sanskrit ain't got hoot to say 'bout uncut.
posted by driveler at 1:04 PM on December 19, 2005

The circumcised penis is what separates men from animals.
and they really do look 'animalish' to me.

I like how most the time people here are reasonably intellignet, until it comes to your manhood. The fact we look like animals, is because we are animals. duh.

hundreds of years ago there were logical reasons for circumsicion; these no longer exist. In my opinion, the reasons for circumsicion today (especially in societies where cleanliness is the norm) are all cultural - Largely stemming from male insecurities and mothers that blindingly agree with their male partners, and allow the perpetuation of circumsicion.

We all abhor female circumsicion, which is done for entirely cultural reasons, but why do we not also abhor male circumcision? Granted, male circumsicion pales in its grotesqueness, but by mere association it should be ended.

Also, from my experience, only extremely vapid and uneducated women actually care about it, so don't be so worried, if that's what you're worried about.
Sometimes I think heterosexual men are more concerned about cocks than gay guys.
posted by wumpus at 1:14 PM on December 19, 2005

I love circumcision threads. They bring out the best in us.

nice poem IIHAA, your secret's safe for another day
posted by OmieWise at 1:16 PM on December 19, 2005

I am circumsized, and my glans is still rather damn sensitive, despite being 35 and subject to rather aggressive usage for the last 22-23 years.

Must have been all the Downy my mom used on my underwear growing up.

Or, this could all be hysterical raving by people who don't know anything about anything.

Nah, must be the Downy.

I think some men naturally have a sensitive glans, some do not. Some of these with a sensitive glans have been circumsized, some have not. That would pretty much account for the differences of opinion on both sides of the issue, no?
posted by Ynoxas at 1:19 PM on December 19, 2005

Decapitation reduces the risk of brain cancer by 100%.
posted by fleetmouse at 3:46 PM EST on December 19

That's sorta like taking from Peter to give to Paul innit?
posted by Skygazer at 1:23 PM on December 19, 2005

I love circumcision threads. They bring out the best in us.

Circumcision threads rock. They're like abortion threads but with the seriousness removed.
posted by Ryvar at 1:28 PM on December 19, 2005

previous thread

re: why people do it, there are aesthetic & hygenic arguments, but as I said on that previous thread, there are a small percentage of boys for whom circumcision becomes medically necessary at puberty anyway, the way some people need to have their wisdom teeth removed - which has also resulted in it becoming the norm, because most people just don't think it matters that much. if you pre-emptively get your wisdom teeth yanked and then later find out they would have fit okay, most people don't think they've been robbed.

But of course it's different with the foreskin, which some people really do consider important to sensory pleasure. But I'm just repeating what I said last time, so I'll leave it there.
posted by mdn at 1:32 PM on December 19, 2005

Wait, we've discussed prosthetic foreskins before?
posted by If I Had An Anus at 1:37 PM on December 19, 2005

Sure would be nice if it were a decision left to the adult male, instead of having the decision made for us as newborns. I, for one, am glad my mom chose not to have me cut. And if I were somehow unhappy with my weenie, I could now have it cut myself, with the Ronco CircumSizer 2005.
posted by newfers at 1:41 PM on December 19, 2005

You know, you don't miss it if you never remember having it. Just saying. There are better things for me to worry about. I'm sure most of us have been screwed up enough by life and parents and so on without needing to add lack of foreskin into the mix as the reason life sucks.
posted by caution live frogs at 1:41 PM on December 19, 2005

I'm waiting for jewzilla to chime in...
posted by rob511 at 1:44 PM on December 19, 2005

Nothing says Happy Holidays like a festive little cock sock.
posted by fenriq at 1:45 PM on December 19, 2005

Why is it those without usually just shrug and say, 'huh...still feels okay to me' and those with get all riled up about barbaric mutilation and how abhorrent the practice is? Can't we all just leave each other's penises alone?
posted by NationalKato at 1:46 PM on December 19, 2005

Because they couldn't stand my pain
Or didn't have the cash
My parents left me from day one
Uncircumcised white trash

But of all the things I've done
And all the things I've seen
I am a rich man now because
Of what I saved on Vasoline
posted by Sparx at 1:47 PM on December 19, 2005

Ryvar-I could say the same thing about abortion threads, but the poor entendre might be considered in worse taste.
posted by OmieWise at 1:49 PM on December 19, 2005

Sparx - I like that, where is it from?
posted by anomie at 1:52 PM on December 19, 2005

From my heart, anomie, from my heart.
posted by Sparx at 1:54 PM on December 19, 2005

Everybody wants prosthetic foreheads on their real heads!
posted by washburn at 2:05 PM on December 19, 2005

I miss my wisdom teeth.
posted by Floydd at 2:08 PM on December 19, 2005

My dad got circumsized at 50 because he kept getting infections. He was a clean guy, but he worked a pretty dirty job. He went back to work later that day, he was a fairly tough guy. To be fair, people were tougher back then. They’d fall 30 stories get up and be doing the Lindy later that night. Today, we have penis cozies.
...not that that’s a bad thing. I’d prefer a little tuxedo, but hey, I’m classy.
posted by Smedleyman at 2:13 PM on December 19, 2005

Everybody wants prosthetic foreheads on their real heads!

ha!.
posted by mdn at 2:22 PM on December 19, 2005

..."The process is called keratinization (sp?), and is well-documented. When body parts that aren't supposed to be exposed are exposed, they become tougher and less sensitive. This is medical fact..

Good. the last thing I need is to be more sensitive in bed.
It took me 30yrs to get this insensitive.

So as a woman, I have to ask: Is the main reason to cut the skin off it keep it clean? If so, wouldn't you rather teach your sons how to keep clean? It seems so drastic if it's just an aesthetic thing.

The penis doesn't 'self-clean' as well as the p*ssy.
I think the removal of foreskin thing makes it easier for little, grubby boys who spend their entire day rolling around in dirt to be more likely to clean it when they shower.
(One less place for mom's to worry about dirt accumalating)

".. I think uncircumcised penises are ugly, and they really do look 'animalish' to me.."

Yes..quite...uncircumsized they remind me of the end of snuffleupagus' snout...
posted by tbonicus at 2:28 PM on December 19, 2005

(teehee...i said snuffleupagus..)
posted by tbonicus at 2:34 PM on December 19, 2005

Yes..quite...uncircumsized they remind me of the end of snuffleupagus' snout...

Uh. My. Gah. The one and THANK GOD only time I saw my dad's junk by mistake I was about 3 or 4, and I remember thinking "what is that thing that looks like Snuffleupagus?"
posted by tristeza at 2:42 PM on December 19, 2005

At least it didn't look like Big Bird.
posted by NationalKato at 2:50 PM on December 19, 2005

Thousands of Snuffleupagus childhood memories destroyed forever in one post.....
posted by tbonicus at 2:54 PM on December 19, 2005

Even though I never had a choice in the matter, I'm happy with my circumsized self. Had we had any sons, they would have been circumsized too.
posted by tommasz at 3:01 PM on December 19, 2005

from my experience, it is men who usually think circumcision is important. i've only got one female friend who is freaked out by the idea of an uncircumsized man. the rest of us... we're all like, eh, males are freaky anyway; that's part of what makes 'em fun (us straight ones, that is). i just think it's a mighty rotten thing to do to a baby. but then, i've got both my wisdom teeth. in a little box, in my jewelry cabinet. oooh now i wanna go to the gym and find and opportune moment for those little ivories to plop out on a mat...grrrrugh OH MY GOD MY TEETH! (oh but that's right i hate the gym.) thanks smedleyman that was brilliant. please do that prank.
posted by lapolla at 3:04 PM on December 19, 2005

The penis doesn't 'self-clean' as well as the p*ssy.

I am not aware of any self-cleaning genitalia. Anywhere. What do you think we're doing in there when we're in showering and all?
posted by Red58 at 3:05 PM on December 19, 2005

We all abhor female circumsicion, which is done for entirely cultural reasons, but why do we not also abhor male circumcision? Granted, male circumsicion pales in its grotesqueness, but by mere association it should be ended.

Wow. This has to be the most uneducated thing I've ever read on Metafilter. Maybe you should read up on the effects and methods of both these procedures.
posted by clevershark at 3:07 PM on December 19, 2005

I see your chart, and raise you ours.
posted by filchyboy at 3:09 PM on December 19, 2005

Aagh. My head is now full of images of penises. Out. Out.
posted by squashy wol at 3:10 PM on December 19, 2005

Metafilter: Today we have penis cozies.
posted by Dr. Wu at 3:15 PM on December 19, 2005

Fact is, very few people have been on both sides of that experience, so I don't see why there is such violent debate on the issue... - clevershark

Cuz it's my penis!!!1!!

Even though I never had a choice in the matter, I'm happy with my circumsized self. Had we had any sons, they would have been circumsized too. - tommasz

That's typically men's response: whatever their dick looks like, they'll have the same for their sons. Some circumcised men change their minds when they read the literature.

Other than religion, or the (rare) medical neccessity, there's no good reason to circumsize your son. And the surgery carries risks. I wouldn't elect to have this surgery preformed on one of my children. To me, choosing to 'cut' your son because he might be one of the few who requires it later is like removing everyone's appendix and tonsils because some will have problems. And "my parents did it to me!" doesn't stike me as a convincing arguement either. Your parents probably didn't use a car seat for you, either. But I bet that you'd put your infant in a car seat when driving them around now, right?
posted by raedyn at 3:15 PM on December 19, 2005

Aagh. My head is now full of images of penises. Out. Out. - squashy wol

Allow me to be the first to note that the phase "images of penises" followed closely by the word(?) "squashy" is an unfortunate happening.
posted by raedyn at 3:17 PM on December 19, 2005

"Other than religion, or the (rare) medical neccessity, there's no good reason to circumsize your son."

Well, no one's saying you need to do it yourself, ie DIYC...
posted by ParisParamus at 3:18 PM on December 19, 2005

I am not aware of any self-cleaning genitalia. Anywhere. What do you think we're doing in there when we're in showering and all?

The vagina actually does a spectacular job of cleaning itself, which is why douches are such a heinous ploy to get women to think that they're dirty and spend billions of dollars trying to get "clean". (I'm not going to link to something possibly NSFW but it's easily googleable)
posted by tristeza at 3:19 PM on December 19, 2005

Quitting smoking cuts the chance of penis cancer by 87%, and results in fewer holes burnt into one's trousers.
The only hard part is getting the nicotine gum in there...
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 4:04 PM on December 19, 2005

A feeling of warmth, security and self-esteem.

Great. Sounds like a toupe to me!

Damn, why does it remind me of Trump? ACK.
posted by bottledbliss at 4:05 PM on December 19, 2005

The vagina actually does a spectacular job of cleaning itself

Spectacular ? Hell of a vagina !
posted by elpapacito at 4:35 PM on December 19, 2005

It's sad that people view a natural, normal, uncut penis as something "weird". Circumcision is just plain evil.
posted by nightchrome at 4:36 PM on December 19, 2005

I think I'm going to have to test this theory out by showing my penis to as many women as possible.
posted by NationalKato at 4:38 PM on December 19, 2005

You want a feeling of warmth, security and self-esteem? Pour gravy on your crotch.

“Good. the last thing I need is to be more sensitive in bed. It took me 30yrs to get this insensitive.’ -posted by tbonicus

*chuckles for a half an hour*
*Wears wife-beater undershirt*
*makes wife make sammich*
*K.O.ed by short asian woman with frying pan*

“thanks smedleyman that was brilliant. please do that prank.”- posted by lapolla
*is later savagely beaten by pasty humorless gym rats*


So...do you crochet a penis cozy if you’re anal retentive?
*head asplodes from too much innuendo*
posted by Smedleyman at 4:46 PM on December 19, 2005

Dr. Drew on circumcision.
posted by Atreides at 4:52 PM on December 19, 2005

Wow, I thought this product was going to be tacky. Then I heard the elegant accent of the English woman narrating the video. Classy.
posted by Nelson at 5:06 PM on December 19, 2005

The vagina actually does a spectacular job of cleaning itself, which is why douches are such a heinous ploy to get women to think that they're dirty and spend billions of dollars trying to get "clean". (I'm not going to link to something possibly NSFW but it's easily googleable)

You mean those olds ads from the fifties about the lysol douches? Those are good way to make any woman cross their legs and wince.

Anyway, yeah douches are evil. You can actually get a nasty infection from using those. Much better just to let your pussy do the work for you.

As far the circumcision vs not discussion that's going on here, I'm not touching that with a ten-foot pole. All I really know is that some of my female friends actually do find an uncut penis offputting, but I don't see what the fuss is about. Both kinds look silly as far as I'm concerned. (Function over style people. Function over style.)

Man, that’d be great if something like that just fell off while I was doing heavy quad work at the gym. (mimicry): “GRRRRRUGH!” -plop- “OH GOD NO! MY FORESKIN!”

There was actually an episode of friends kinda like that.
posted by kosher_jenny at 5:13 PM on December 19, 2005

I sit here on a daily basis, thinking not that much separates me from my fellow mefites, till I realise that 90% of the males have had their cocks snipped.

::headshiver::
posted by dash_slot- at 5:25 PM on December 19, 2005

Both kinds look silly as far as I'm concerned. - kosher_jenny

Yes. Very.
posted by raedyn at 6:03 PM on December 19, 2005

Well, no one's saying you need to do it yourself

tell that to Abraham, Paris...
;)
posted by matteo at 6:05 PM on December 19, 2005

Fact is, very few people have been on both sides of that experience, so I don't see why there is such violent debate on the issue...

I have, had it done at 25. I know the difference.
posted by lundman at 6:16 PM on December 19, 2005

I think uncircumcised penises are ugly

I can see that. If somebody had whipped mine off when I was a little boy, I'd need some pretty good rationalization to enable me to deal with the sense of loss as well.

Being intact though, I'm happy to attest that the only attractive penis in the world is my own.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 6:17 PM on December 19, 2005

does it come with artificial smegma?

No, but you can buy cottage cheese at any good grocery store.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 6:18 PM on December 19, 2005

My dad got circumsized at 50 because he kept getting infections. He was a clean guy, but he worked a pretty dirty job.

I dare not ask what kind of job he had.
posted by me & my monkey at 6:23 PM on December 19, 2005

There was actually an episode of friends kinda like that.

Wow. Way to take a very funny comment and make it less funmy.
posted by psmealey at 6:33 PM on December 19, 2005

Other than religion, or the (rare) medical neccessity, there's no good reason to circumsize your son.

You're missing the point, raedyn.

If you re-read this thread, it doesn't take long before it becomes fairly apparent that a man's sense of self comes directly from his identification with his penis. Mine looks like this, therefore penises that look like this are obviously the best and only type to have.

When such men then go on to procreate, they no more want a son whose penis looks different to that of their own, than they want a son whose skin colour looks different to that of their own. Both are a profound threat to our sense of masculinity.

All that stuff about health and cleanliness is just a smokescreen.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 6:34 PM on December 19, 2005

Circumcision is just plain evil.

Personally, I put it pretty far down the list of things evil. Somewhere between Bob Saget and the stuff that results when you put cigarettes out in coffee and leave them soaking for a few days.
posted by psmealey at 6:35 PM on December 19, 2005

Further data points:

* I prefer uncut (as Red58 said, they're more interesting to handle) but it's certainly not a deal-breaker.

* One ex was circumcized at age 13 due to phimosis. Miserable recovery, preceded by several years of escalating misery. However, his parents are closet-alcoholic sex-phobic Holy Rollers. I understand that "buried penis" syndrome is normally addressed at a much younger age, by parents who actually bathe their children rather than sitting, arms folded, gaze averted, on the toilet lid.

* None of my friends' male progeny (a total of seven, all born within the past five years) is circumcized. All six fathers are circumcized. Yes, we do discuss these things.

* If I were offered the opportunity to streamline my personal hygiene regimen by one-sixtieth or so, and also reduce my chances of developing a rare cancer from one in one-bazillion to one in ten-bazillion, simply by snipping off my labia majora -- I'd say fuck right off. I'd turn down the same deal on behalf of my newborn daughter. Any reason why I should do any different for my son?
posted by vetiver at 6:49 PM on December 19, 2005

I was about 11 when I saw Alex Haley's Roots on televison. There's a scene where Kunta Kinte and his fellow young male villagers are circumsized as part of a coming-of-age ritual. And I thought, "man, am I glad my parents had that done to me when I was an infant."

Has never bothered me, and I've never had any complaints. *shrug*
posted by terrapin at 6:52 PM on December 19, 2005

Uncut is better. But as long as it's ample and attached to someone I like . . .
posted by dame at 7:03 PM on December 19, 2005

I dunno. I *know* I was circ'd, but for some reason *it* seemed to regrow on it's own, nearly to full. I think there may be hope for everyone without prosthetics.
posted by moonbird at 7:37 PM on December 19, 2005

Then again, I'm drunk and my winkie is my friend.
posted by moonbird at 7:38 PM on December 19, 2005

I think I could have lived out the rest of my life quite happily without ever having seen that video.
posted by crythecry at 8:09 PM on December 19, 2005

As a lesbian I have no personal stake in this argument, but I fought like mad to convince my sister not to circumcize her son. While the debate is shrouded in this "cleanliness" debate, I think at the root of it circumcision was an attempt to make it more difficult for men to masturbate. (I know, I know. But look it up.) My sister was worried that her son would get teased and was leaning in favour of the procedure. In the end it was his father who made the decision not to do it, in spite of being circumcized himself. For this single decision alone he can do no wrong in my eyes.

Now my sister thinks circumcision is what people who shop at walmart do to their sons.
posted by Hildegarde at 8:16 PM on December 19, 2005

Oh, and also:

my glands are covered up when not erect

if by "glands" you mean, "glans", does this mean you have two of them? Because that mental image is a little...well, unique.
posted by Hildegarde at 8:18 PM on December 19, 2005

It's always wise to take advice from people with no hand in the matter (so to speak). Well said, Hilde.
posted by anthill at 8:19 PM on December 19, 2005

I think at the root of it circumcision was an attempt to make it more difficult for men to masturbate

Then it has been a terrible, terrible failure. Epic even.

Or, uh, so I've heard.
posted by Ynoxas at 8:50 PM on December 19, 2005

If you can watch footage of a circumcision being performed and still say you are in favor of the process, you are quite simply not human. In a bad way.
posted by nightchrome at 9:37 PM on December 19, 2005

"I think at the root of it circumcision was an attempt to make it more difficult for men to masturbate."

For all you cut guys out there, do you usually need lubrication to masturbate? Because if I had to grease up my palm before a good wank, I'd waste a lot more time than I spend now cleaning my cock in the shower.

I like my foreskin; however, I don't see anything wrong with circumcision, as long as the cock in question is attached to the person making the decision.

I also have all my wisdom teeth, my tonsils and my appendix. I'm the whole package.
posted by [expletive deleted] at 9:42 PM on December 19, 2005

As others have mentioned, an uncircumcised fellow has a more interesting member. This alone is enough for me to want mine back ("want" being a relative term here - it's not like I lose sleep about it).

Which is why I'm almost be sold on this sort of artificial foreskin (the British accent of the spokeswoman helped too). At least, I was until Smedleyman raised the unfortunate possibility of accidental dislodgment. How would you even begin to explain that?

Imagine hooking up with someone. At last! An opportunity to show off your smooth and polished cock. Surreptitiously, you peel off your plastic and secret it away in your back pocket.

Next morning, after a nice breakfast at the local diner, you reach for your wallet and out it pops - landing right there on your half eaten eggs benedict.

I'd much rather forego a few nerve endings than face such an unpleasant situation.
posted by aladfar at 10:36 PM on December 19, 2005

I think at the root of it circumcision was an attempt to make it more difficult for men to masturbate.

What Ynoxas said. Seriously, it does not affect anything in that particular direction. Promise.

If we assume for the moment that the MSNBC statistic on HIV prevention is even only half-right, though, I'd say there's a case to be made for circumcising in Africa, at least.
posted by Ryvar at 11:23 PM on December 19, 2005

For all you cut guys out there, do you usually need lubrication to masturbate?

Not at all.
posted by Ryvar at 11:25 PM on December 19, 2005

If you re-read this thread, it doesn't take long before it becomes fairly apparent that a man's sense of self comes directly from his identification with his penis. Mine looks like this, therefore penises that look like this are obviously the best and only type to have. - PeterMcDermott

I agree. That's why I said:
That's typically men's response: whatever their dick looks like, they'll have the same for their sons.

But I also noted:
Some circumcised men change their minds when they read the literature.

For instance, my (cut) husband originally felt like many men here do: it worked for me, so I'll have the same for my son. But when he found out the lack of medical indication for it, and what the procedure actually entails, and the risks associated he changed his mind. Then it turns out we had a girl and it became a moot point for the moment.

I do know a man who, at 25, was circumcised due to medical reasons (His foreskin wouldn't retract. Sex would sometimes forcefully pull it back and tear it. I don't imagine I have to tell you that torn bleeding penis during sex is NOT COOL.) Even he said that he wouldn't have his son circumcised unless it became neccessary. But he also said he wished he'd gotten it done year earlier because his sex life improved once he'd healed.
posted by raedyn at 11:45 PM on December 19, 2005

And AIDs. Whatever. Only freaks aren't ;- )
posted by ParisParamus at 12:09 PM PST on December 19 [!]

This nicely sums up PP's contribution to mefi.
posted by mek at 2:12 AM on December 20, 2005

when it comes right down to it, isn't it a matter of children's rights? i mean - body modification is fun and all, but it's better ot do it for yourself, rather than forcing it on an infant. that's just plain creepy, if ya ask me. sorry if i offend cut men out there, and all those of culture that continue this practice.

oh and smedleyman, i bet those pasty humorless gym rats would scream liek little girls and run away. but if you insist, ok - i shall ne'er compliment you on a good joke, again.

as for cut or uncut, all i can say is: my first trip to europe was full of surprises. and... hecka fun ;-)
posted by lapolla at 2:54 AM on December 20, 2005

oh (sorry for last post, i don't type much better when sober) but what the hell was that i saw on SNL this weekend about infants getting herpes from the rabbi sucking the blood from the freshly cut infant penis?

http://www.thejournalnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20051217/NEWS03/512170336/1027/NEWS11

talk about a feeling of warmth and security! hell yeah.
posted by lapolla at 3:00 AM on December 20, 2005

The comparison between female and male circumcision is hilarious.

That aside, I fully plan on circumsizing any boy-children I have. Why? I don't really have any clear cut reasons. It just seems like the thing to do. And if it means less time spent asking my son "Son, did you clean your foreskin?" then it's even better. I know that I, as a child, sure as hell had trouble cleaning behind my ears, so I can't even imagine what kinda crud would be built up in there in your average 8 year old boy. Yucko.
posted by antifuse at 3:22 AM on December 20, 2005

Why? I don't really have any clear cut reasons

heh.
posted by matteo at 5:43 AM on December 20, 2005

It just seems like the thing to do.

This is always a good reason to request surgery for your newborn.
posted by Hildegarde at 6:44 AM on December 20, 2005

How about thousands of years of history of an enlightened people?
posted by ParisParamus at 7:22 AM on December 20, 2005

I didn't realize you were Jewish, PP.
posted by Hildegarde at 7:24 AM on December 20, 2005

imagine what kinda crud would be built up in there in your average 8 year old boy. Yucko.

Ah, so your 8 year old will somehow be dirtier and less prone to cleaning than ~85% of the rest ofthe men in the world?

It's mutilation. You're removing a perfectly healthy, natural, and functional body part for no medical reason whatsoever. Saying 'it just seems like the thing to do' is fatuous, at best. Let your putative child make his own decision on the matter.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 7:25 AM on December 20, 2005

I can't prove it (since it's all I've known), but I suspect it makes for a better lover.
posted by ParisParamus at 8:17 AM on December 20, 2005

I can't prove it (since it's all I've known), but I suspect it makes for a better lover.
posted by ParisParamus at 8:17 AM on December 20, 2005

I'm gonna have my kids circumsized because it pisses off the rabid "it's mutilation!" morons here. Hell, I may even have the neighbor's kids circumsized.
posted by klangklangston at 8:24 AM on December 20, 2005

Sorry PP, but I'm all of one piece, and I'm the best I've ever had.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:38 AM on December 20, 2005

I've also heard that it's connected to humility...
posted by ParisParamus at 8:52 AM on December 20, 2005

Transforming the body for cultural or religious reasons has a long history. It's only mutiliation if you don't like it. Otherwise, it's just surgery, and, for babies, rather minor surgery at that.
posted by maxsparber at 9:14 AM on December 20, 2005

Summary

Circumcision: just another great idea from the religious and medical communities.

Nip off some sex organ skin to: Reduce the need for hygiene and safe sex; improve your love skills; look less like an animal; and fit in better with your peers;
posted by ewkpates at 9:15 AM on December 20, 2005

maxsparber: "Transforming the body for cultural or religious reasons has a long history. It's only mutiliation if you don't like it. Otherwise, it's just surgery, and, for babies, rather minor surgery at that."

If such is the case (i.e. that the reasons for circumcisions are non-medical) then wouldn't this be considered an elective surgery? If so, and I understand that parents are the guardians and have ultimate say over their property child, why, in a more enlightened world, would this not be something people could choose later, say... when they're of age for making such decisions? I wouldn't quite say it's minor, at least for something being pretty much elective. I'm not saying there's no medical purpose, but it seems to me that any potential medical research is an ex post facto justification for these cultural and religious reasons you mention.

I would have less of an issue if it was an individual choosing to have it done when they're of age, and if it were considered a cultural "coming of age" ritual... We don't really have those in our modern era.

Finally... lundman, you say you have had the (dis?)pleasure of being cut at age 25, and you know the difference, could you please tell us your personal opinion?

Personally, I am intact, and have had feelings of guilt, shame and embarrassment of differentiation (a pagan penis in a secular world filled with Abrahamic penii everywhere!!! and my mom was a pentecostal fundy, nonetheless... Seems I put up a hell of a fight when they wanted to chop me, so the doc said it wouldn't hurt to leave me alone.) I know what they mean when they talk about the "nerve endings" and all that, but I'm curious as to the desensitization process? I know that if you never had it to begin with, it's not like you know what you're missing, but for those who lose it, what's the difference like?
posted by symbioid at 11:03 AM on December 20, 2005

Circumcision becomes increasingly major surgery as a boy grows older. I am much gladder to have been circumcised as an infant than to have had the experience as a young adult or adult.
posted by maxsparber at 11:10 AM on December 20, 2005

I'm from Scotland where circ is practically unheard of (perhaps a few ethnic minorities)
I can't believe so many people in the USA still do this, I think of circumcision as a barbaric primitive ritual done by tribes in some remote outback - a bit like having a bone shoved through your nose - isnt America supposed to be a bit more advanced than that?
Also, how would you wear a kilt? - all that rough fabric against a cut tadger - Ouch!
posted by Lanark at 11:36 AM on December 20, 2005

Such passion! Much, uh, inflamed rhetoric. I'm a cut gentile. It's a complete non-issue for me. I can't imagine reconstructive surgery or wearing this freaky thing. WTF?
posted by fixedgear at 11:55 AM on December 20, 2005

I dunno - it can (albeit very rarely) kill, either directly or through later complications, and why on earth would anybody want to expose their kids to any unnecessary risk? (Especially just to prove a point, KlangKlangston!)

Even jewish law permits an exception to be made if two previous children have died of it (the example they use is hemophiliacs). It's never been an unknown occurance.
posted by Sparx at 1:03 PM on December 20, 2005

Finally... lundman, you say you have had the (dis?)pleasure of being cut at age 25, and you know the difference, could you please tell us your personal opinion?

Why, with pleasure!

I can tell you right now, that sex is no where near as good as it was before. The head gets de-sensitised when it is no longer protected by the foreskin. If I had had an option, I would never get it done. In fact, after watching Penn & Teller, I am now trying to re-grow it.

Cleanliness seems to be no difference.

Masterbating makes no difference, but, I can no longer hide things there, nor make "farty" sounds by trapping air there with my finger. What?

Also, I am the odd one out btw. Nobody has it cut here, or where I am from.
posted by lundman at 4:58 PM on December 20, 2005

Why did you get it cut at 25, lundman?
posted by grouse at 5:01 PM on December 20, 2005

Why did you get it cut at 25, lundman?

Oh I had a medical reason for it. Seems to run in the family. The hmm, ring thingy inside the skin was too tight, so I would tear it regularly, and who wants to wait for that to heal before getting back into action! So it had to be done.

My brother had a V shaped cut, and in retrospect I should have gone for that, instead of the full slice!
posted by lundman at 5:34 PM on December 20, 2005

"isnt America supposed to be a bit more advanced than that?"

We are. You just haven't realized it yet...
posted by ParisParamus at 5:45 PM on December 20, 2005

How arrogant we humans are. I won't be cutting any parts off any of my children. I think they're good the way they're born.
posted by krash2fast at 10:55 PM on December 20, 2005

I wonder if anyone here who is so vocally anti-circumcision because of so-called mutilation aspect has a piercing of any sort or a tattoo.
posted by terrapin at 5:59 AM on December 21, 2005

There's a difference, terrapin, between choosing to be tattooed or peirced when you are a consenting adult vs having your parents do it to you when you are an infant. I'm also aghast at the idea of people who get their baby girl's ears pierced.
posted by raedyn at 7:33 AM on December 21, 2005

People are always so happy to judge what other people do to their kids, even when those people, and their kids, don't mind it, break no laws, and engage in no behavior that hasn't been socially sanctioned for thousands of years.

Hey, you don't like circumcision, don't circumsize your sons. But don't suggest that my culture has somehow been mutilating and abusing their bys since Biblical times. The percentage of Jewish males who resent their circumcisions is certainly almost nonexistant (I prefer the way mine looks, have no memory of the circumcision itself, and am glad that I was too young for it to be major, memorable surgery), so why all the disapproval?
posted by maxsparber at 8:06 AM on December 21, 2005

How arrogant we humans are. I won't be cutting any parts off any of my children. I think they're good the way they're born.

I hope your kids don't wear clothes or get haircuts either...
(not saying you should have sons circumcised - I probably wouldn't either - but this is a dumb argument)
posted by mdn at 8:27 AM on December 21, 2005

My North American wife advises me that every US dick she or her friends ever saw was roundhead. Still, she travelled 5,000 miles to get a decent fuck so take that with a pinch of salt.
posted by longbaugh at 11:23 AM on December 21, 2005

Lundman, Bravo! I do believe you've settled this ceaseless argument for all time. If one were an alien observing this planet, you'd think discussing this issue along with P0rn seems to be the main raison d'etre for the internets. Sheesh. ;-)
posted by Skygazer at 11:37 AM on December 21, 2005

I love the fact that there are religious folks who say - in essence - that god designed man in a slightly imperfect way, and that they need to tidy things up for him. I mean, you don't need that foreskin do ya?

Now, about those nipples, Bud...
posted by dash_slot- at 2:15 PM on December 21, 2005

It's not that the foreskin is impefect. It's that removing it marks one as a member of the Hebrew tribes, and a participant in the covenant with Yahweh. Nobody anywhere in the Bible says there's anything wrong with the foreskin, but removing it immediately distinguishes the Hebrew from the non-Hebrew (at lest, that was true once upon a time).
posted by maxsparber at 3:08 PM on December 21, 2005

I can tell you right now, that sex is no where near as good as it was before.

The hmm, ring thingy inside the skin was too tight, so I would tear it regularly, and who wants to wait for that to heal before getting back into action!

I'm not sure I can reconcile these two statements.

The sex was better, even though you were regularly tearing yourself? I'm also not entirely sure how sex could be substantially different but masturbation not.

Not being snarky, just trying to understand how great sex could be tearing yourself regularly.

And again, if this head desensitivity stuff is true, it seems circumcision would be an acceptable treatment for premature ejaculation by men who have not yet been cut.

Again, I must thank the fabric softener for maintaining my helmet's sensitivity, because I swear to god if it were MORE sensitive it would be debilitating, and sex would be quite nearly unbearable.
posted by Ynoxas at 10:15 PM on December 21, 2005

cant ... deal... with.. this right now .. was still getting used to .idea of ..the
bananaguard
posted by celerystick at 10:16 PM on December 21, 2005

“i bet those pasty humorless gym rats would scream liek little girls and run away. but if you insist, ok - i shall ne'er compliment you on a good joke, again.” -posted by lapolla

No, I appreciate it, thank you. Just taking the imagery a step further.
posted by Smedleyman at 11:29 AM on December 23, 2005