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Turgodumalguineafochickpheapapigwoodcock!
December 21, 2005 4:58 AM   Subscribe

Turduckens are for the WEAK. A stuffed roast consisting of ten different birds, just in time for the holidays. No, seriously. Just in time. You should start all the prep work now.
posted by XQUZYPHYR (61 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
What are the nine other birds? The article is a bit vague on details.
posted by Alison at 5:01 AM on December 21, 2005


What's that they say about threads and pictures?


But seriously, it makes me smile to know there are people this crazy. I'd be more impressed if he stuffed the whole thing into an emu, though.
posted by Evstar at 5:01 AM on December 21, 2005


... and then into an ostrich?
posted by lodurr at 5:05 AM on December 21, 2005


Alison: The turkey is stuffed with a goose, duck, mallard, guinea fowl, chicken, pheasant, partridge, pigeon and woodcock.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 5:07 AM on December 21, 2005


Isn't there a Metafilter-guy doing this ?
posted by jamesonandwater at 5:08 AM on December 21, 2005


I think it would be fun to do a Turducken someday. But this is just for show. I mean, how could you slice the thing to get all the birds in one slice? That's one of the things Prudhomme always talks about when he talks about the Turducken.
posted by lodurr at 5:08 AM on December 21, 2005


I mean, how could you slice the thing to get all the birds in one slice?

Like a meatloaf- slice by slice. Save for the drumsticks you de-bone all the birds, so you don't need to take a little bit off the breast or anything like that.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 5:11 AM on December 21, 2005


The trick is actually to slice at a 45 degree angle, in effect splicing the birds and providing different regions of muscle tissue and thus different flavors...

As a vegetarian, I'm actually both impressed and horribly frightened by ten birds stuffed together in a big ass turkey.
posted by hank_14 at 5:13 AM on December 21, 2005


I suppose this prevents your woodcock from drying out, which I always find a problem.
posted by NinjaPirate at 5:19 AM on December 21, 2005


Metafilter - prevents your woodcock from drying out
posted by ElvisJesus at 5:22 AM on December 21, 2005


you said wood.
posted by nola at 5:27 AM on December 21, 2005


Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall has made some fantastic TV. The time he helped a family sacrifice their overgrown pet tropical fish and cook it for dinner, and the episode of TV Dinners where he went into the woods and caught some woodlice, blanched them, made fritters with them and served them to school kids.
posted by fire&wings at 5:33 AM on December 21, 2005


The thread made me think of the recipe for Stuffed Camel.
posted by alumshubby at 5:49 AM on December 21, 2005


Oh, and before anybody else wonders, here's Snopes' take on whether that recipe is for real.
posted by alumshubby at 5:55 AM on December 21, 2005


If I eat this will I get bird flu? Because I really want to call in sick to work tomorrow.
posted by Otis at 5:57 AM on December 21, 2005


otis: nah but you'll puke your stomach inside out and your explanation to coworkers will be office 2006 "moron of the year" history
posted by elpapacito at 6:04 AM on December 21, 2005


The turkey is stuffed with a goose, duck, mallard, guinea fowl, chicken, pheasant, partridge, pigeon and woodcock.

Which is then stuffed into a human.

Doesn't eating one of this significantly increase your chances of getting stuffed into something bigger?
posted by zerokey at 6:16 AM on December 21, 2005


I'm just waiting for Turduckens gum.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 6:26 AM on December 21, 2005


The recipe "carries a hefty £160 price tag and takes over nine hours to prepare and cook.

...'This is a spectacular and celebratory dish and it's the time of year when people have a lot of time on their hands to prepare something like this.'"


What alternate reality does THIS guy live in?
posted by darkstar at 6:32 AM on December 21, 2005


I saw this on television in Ireland last month. They de-boned the turkey and really DID stuff all those birds in there. It was pretty impressive.

Here's a movie: River Cottage
posted by evoo at 6:38 AM on December 21, 2005


Video clips of Hugh preparing this here. I see from his site that the full thing is on telly tonight.
posted by johnny novak at 6:42 AM on December 21, 2005


I'm not a vegitarian. In fact I like turky and chicken (never had duck, but I hear its "like all dark meat" and thus teh gross sounding to me)

Anyway, this thing sounds disgusting.
posted by delmoi at 6:44 AM on December 21, 2005


Turducken is a family tradition for us, I'm taking this article to let my mom know you think she's weak.

In other words, I'm telling mom what you said.
posted by Pollomacho at 6:50 AM on December 21, 2005


First we start with a hummingbird....

[embedded quicktime]
posted by CynicalKnight at 7:00 AM on December 21, 2005


Zerokey:
... Which is then stuffed into a human.

Doesn't eating one of this significantly increase your chances of getting stuffed into something bigger?


*Applause* That's hilarious.
posted by kmel at 7:02 AM on December 21, 2005


turgooduckmowkenanttridgeonock
posted by nprigoda at 7:15 AM on December 21, 2005


As a vegetarian, the thought of the turducken always sickened me. This, however, makes me hungry, and that bothers me.
posted by dead_ at 7:15 AM on December 21, 2005


C'mon, dead_. Eat some turgodumalguineafochickpheapapigwoodcock with us. All the cool kids are doing it.
posted by JeffK at 7:21 AM on December 21, 2005


Nauseatingly appetizing.
posted by darkstar at 7:22 AM on December 21, 2005


My family is going to stick with its holiday HumApeDog, thanks very much.
posted by brain_drain at 7:23 AM on December 21, 2005


Oh shit, can you imagine boxing day?

Cold turgodumalguineafochickpheapapigwoodcock with some ploughman's pickle. teh awesome.
posted by Frasermoo at 7:31 AM on December 21, 2005


I guess for the vvegetarians out there you could always take a tofurkey and stuff it with a toficken, and then stuff it with a tofuck, etc... and then you'd have a tofurgodumalguineafochickpheapapigwoodcock.

mmmm... vegetarians get all the good foods.
posted by BuffaloBandit at 7:35 AM on December 21, 2005


BuffaloBandit, I love tofuck. It's one of my favorite things.

Well, I'm off to see my analrapist.

/Tobias
posted by iconoclastic flow at 7:41 AM on December 21, 2005


Hmmm my wife watched Rover Cottage on Monday and was moved to immediately make soup ...
posted by dickdotcom at 7:57 AM on December 21, 2005


This still doesn't answer the question how many woodcocks (Insert "tofuck" for you veggies) wood a woodcock duck if a woodcock could duck wood?
posted by Mr Bluesky at 8:02 AM on December 21, 2005


Is there a way this can somehow be placed inside a giant egg? :)
posted by UMDirector at 8:08 AM on December 21, 2005


Speaking of which, is anyone preparing tofuck for the holidays? I'm not much on the tofu, but it sounds like a good option.
posted by BuffaloBandit at 8:08 AM on December 21, 2005


What alternate reality does THIS guy live in?

One where he earns a living by growing/rearing/shooting food and selling at twee local fairs and markets (carefully failing to mention the hundreds of thousands of quid in TV deals and book sales that actually pay his wages).

Still, the River Cottage TV shows are mouthwatering, and his recipes are very easy to cook. Not counting this one, obviously.
posted by jack_mo at 8:10 AM on December 21, 2005


I love to tweak recipes and this recipe is just crying out for breast of canary stuffed with a peacock's tongue.

Seriously, I have a) deboned a turkey and b) stuffed a pork roast with prunes but I have no desire to stuff my bird with any other bird. I could make a joke about my husband's wood cock, but I am much too couth.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 8:39 AM on December 21, 2005


is anyone preparing tofuck for the holidays?

God, I hope so.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 8:40 AM on December 21, 2005


..'This is a spectacular and celebratory dish and it's the time of year when people have a lot of time on their hands to prepare something like this.'"

What alternate reality does THIS guy live in?


This one, I think:

Mr Fearnley-Whittingstall's huge dish is a simpler form of an early 19th century French royal feast that consisted of 17 birds - from a bustard, one of the largest species of European bird, down to a garden warbler.

You know, back when there were things like scullery maids to... to... clean up all the sculls and stuff.
posted by Zinger at 8:41 AM on December 21, 2005


I am saddened that nobody has done this with mammals, the possibilities are endless! A squirrel stuffed into a rabbit into a fox which is then stuffed into a coyote into a white tale deer, a mule deer, an elk, a black bear, a brown bear, a polar bear and into a moose. I won't include porpoises or whales, that'd just be ridiculous.
posted by substrate at 9:27 AM on December 21, 2005


Good point, substrate. Better not to start mixing birds and mammals, though. Stuffing an ass with a woodcock would just be wrong.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:30 AM on December 21, 2005


Stuffing an ass with a woodcock would just be wrong.

... and illegal in 17 states

I am saddened that nobody has done this with mammals

...creating a sort of food chain casserole
posted by ElvisJesus at 9:45 AM on December 21, 2005


No, just because the flavors wouldn't mix well. Ass is gamey and needs cook slow and easy, while woodcock is succulent and tends to finish up a bit quicker. If the woodcock were big enough, it might be able to tenderize the assmeat a bit, but in most cases you're just going to wind up with raw ass and shriveled up woodcock.

What?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:55 AM on December 21, 2005


This thread has reached its climax.
posted by NationalKato at 10:03 AM on December 21, 2005


This thread has reached its climax.

I don't know about y'all but I could use a smoke and a 5 minute nap.
posted by Pollomacho at 10:06 AM on December 21, 2005


Well - a frightening idea - but very different from a turducken, actually, since this dish includes only the breasts of the 9 other birds.

Turducken requires birds that have been "glove-boned" - that is all the bones have been removed while keeping the skin whole and the meat in place. Needless to say, glove-boning (insert your own joke here) is a difficult skill to master.

Turducken is basically just chefs showing off their glove-boning skills !
posted by AuntLisa at 10:17 AM on December 21, 2005


The last time I showed off my glove-boning skills I ended up shelling out $500 on bail.
posted by JeffK at 10:36 AM on December 21, 2005


Turducken? Ken loves those doesn’t he?

posted by Smedleyman at 10:37 AM on December 21, 2005


*lights a cigarette*

Was it good for you, too?
posted by kalimac at 10:46 AM on December 21, 2005


Now, if only we could deep-fry this...
posted by hattifattener at 11:35 AM on December 21, 2005


Turducken starts with "turd". Coincidence? No! 'Coz that's how it ends as well.
posted by Termite at 12:19 PM on December 21, 2005


One pigeon? That's enough for half a guest.
posted by kenko at 12:35 PM on December 21, 2005


I just threw up in my mouth.
posted by purephase at 1:04 PM on December 21, 2005


No, you assembled a heamoutonarf. Classy.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 1:11 PM on December 21, 2005


Was it good for you, too?

As if you cared.
posted by horsewithnoname at 1:54 PM on December 21, 2005


Turducken starts with "turd". Coincidence? No! 'Coz that's how it ends as well.

As opposed to what exactly?
posted by Serial Killer Slumber Party at 4:01 PM on December 21, 2005


That recipe is totally fowl.
posted by jeremias at 8:43 PM on December 21, 2005


It's like we're all living in an Orson Wellesian nightmare.
posted by y2karl at 8:53 PM on December 21, 2005


So if I cook the turducken wrong I end up with duckturden? FOWL!!
posted by FredsinPa at 4:24 AM on December 22, 2005


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