A cold, calculating post

December 21, 2005 10:53 PM

If this doesn't convert you... you may truly be lost.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson (43 comments total)

Thank you, it's much appreciated! The link's been added to my bookmarks under Reference --> Conversion; however, I'm curious as to what prompted you to post it. How did you discover this gem for yourself? Details, man, details!
posted by bonobo at 11:15 PM on December 21, 2005

It's almost like Google Calculator, but more confusing and cluttered! Thanks It's Raining Florence Henderson, and also to your wife, Missus Raining Florence Henderson.
posted by JHarris at 11:33 PM on December 21, 2005

This thing is totally useless. It totally failed to convert radians to centipoise, or Pascals to Joules. Furthermore, my lead is still quite annoyingly untransmuted.
posted by loquacious at 11:56 PM on December 21, 2005

Hmm, so a slave is worth 2/3 of a citizen? I did not know that.
posted by Citizen Premier at 12:25 AM on December 22, 2005

Citizen Premier: Did they really say that? They're wrong; it was three-fifths.
posted by dhartung at 1:18 AM on December 22, 2005

Thanks for posting this, Flo (if I may be so famliar.) I used this site a while ago to work out some cooking conversions, but didn't bother to bookmark it. There's some great stuff to play with here. My dog is 31.5 in human years, yet he behaves like an impetuous 23 year old. He's just like people!
posted by maryh at 1:18 AM on December 22, 2005

(I meant to link this. I'm 173 years young. Arf!)
posted by maryh at 1:21 AM on December 22, 2005

English is so much more beautiful in Haxor:

tH!$ !$ ju$t t0 $4¥

! H4v3 34t3ñ
tH3 plum$
tH4t w3r3 !ñ
tH3 !©3b0x

4ñd wH!©H
¥0u w3r3 pr0b4bl¥
$4v!ñg
f0r br34Kf4$t

f0rg!v3 m3
tH3¥ w3r3 d3l!©!0u$
$0 $w33t
4ñd $0 ©0ld
posted by dsword at 2:00 AM on December 22, 2005

It doesn't convert from what a guy thinks his penis length is to what his girlfriend thinks it is.
posted by BrotherCaine at 2:35 AM on December 22, 2005

For some reason on reading the link title on the front page I expected this site to try and convert me to some religion of some sort.

And for some other reason, possibly connected, a bit of me is dissapointed that it didnt.
posted by 13twelve at 3:53 AM on December 22, 2005

You cannot convert me, I AM NOT A NUMBER!
posted by NinjaPirate at 4:17 AM on December 22, 2005

There are also links to an acronym finder, a joke and cartoon clipart database, another database of flash games, some resources for Borland developers, and a mystery link that doesn't seem to work. They're the "Sites" numbers in the blue stripe at the bottom of the page.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:31 AM on December 22, 2005

As an metric man living in an imperial man's world, this is a breath of fresh air.
posted by Serial Killer Slumber Party at 4:33 AM on December 22, 2005

A teaspoon is twice as big as a coffeespoon? A UK teaspoon is bigger than a US teaspoon? No wonder all those American internet recipes go to shit. Perhaps they're not eating absolute crap the whole day long over there?
posted by biffa at 4:34 AM on December 22, 2005

You cannot convert me, I AM NOT A NUMBER!

As it turns out I am. I'm either two numbers, thirteen and twelve or one number, one thousand-three-hundred-and-twelve.

I'm just not sure what conversion; if any I want this site to carry out.
posted by 13twelve at 4:40 AM on December 22, 2005

You cannot convert me, I AM NOT A NUMBER!

17589 shut up and get back in the line.
posted by Laotic at 4:45 AM on December 22, 2005

I was a Presbyterian, but after looking at this website I'm now a Unitarian Universalist.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 5:05 AM on December 22, 2005

I've found better conversion engines on the few occasions I've needed them, but the tagline and the comments have made this post hilarious.
posted by hypersloth at 5:12 AM on December 22, 2005

I'd like to point out www.gometric.org as a simple (but highly complete) unit conversion engine.

created and maintained by our own Plutor
posted by splatta at 5:36 AM on December 22, 2005

dsword: reprise. ;)
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:04 AM on December 22, 2005

It meets my test, the length units include smoots. A useful elaboration of this site would be to provide some kind of glossary detailing the origin and usage of the units.
posted by beagle at 6:12 AM on December 22, 2005

Many Unix machines have the great program "units" installed. It can do all kinds of conversions. As a bonus, reading the file that defines the available units can be fun on its own.

Here's a session that converts the energy stored in a capacitor from one form to another:
$ units
2084 units, 71 prefixes, 32 nonlinear units

You have: 220 micro F * (400 V)^2
You want: watt second
* 35.2

Ever wonder how much it would cost the government to keep audio surveillance on 300 million people for a year, if they can get DVD-R media at $0.20 each, and record at cellphone quality (8 kilobit/second)?
$ units "300 million * 1 year * (8 kilobit/second) * (.20USD / 4.7GB)" "million USD"
* 402.85437
oh, only 400 million a year? That's pocket change! (Of course, that's just for the media, and says nothing about the costs of acquisition, recording, and retieval)

Here are just two of the sillier units supported:

barn = 1e-28 m^2 (Used to measure cross section for particle physics collision, said to have originated in the phrase "big as a barn".)

shed = 1e-24 barn (Defined to be a smaller companion to the barn, but it's too small to be of much use.)

Here's one last conversion for you:
$ units "shoesize_men(11)" "barleycorn"
* 35.750056
That's right, US mens' shoe size 11 is about 35 and a half barleycorns long. (The barleycorn is 1/3 of a UK inch, and men's shoe size is defined by a simple equation)

If you don't have UNIX yet, units is a great reason to install it.
posted by jepler at 6:18 AM on December 22, 2005

Go Metric is just a web frontend to the gnu units jepler describes above.
posted by splatta at 6:24 AM on December 22, 2005

wow. it converts megabytes into gigbytes. i'll never run out of memory again!

lame link o' the day.

jepler, you beat me to units.
posted by 3.2.3 at 6:30 AM on December 22, 2005

anksThay, orenceFlay endersonHay.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:43 AM on December 22, 2005

Thanks for the introduction to units, jepler!
posted by odinsdream at 6:52 AM on December 22, 2005

splatta: "I'd like to point out www.gometric.org as a simple (but highly complete) unit conversion engine. created and maintained by our own Plutor"

Maintained is such a strong word.
posted by Plutor at 7:07 AM on December 22, 2005

If you don't have UNIX yet, units is a great reason to install it.

Now there's an ad campaign!
posted by billder at 7:23 AM on December 22, 2005

Impeachment Convertor:

If 1 blow job equals impeachment for Bill Clinton, then X equals impeachment for GWB.

Please solve for X.
posted by Skygazer at 7:29 AM on December 22, 2005

I'll take "snowball's chance in hell" for X in that equasion.
posted by Pollomacho at 7:38 AM on December 22, 2005

I.R.F.H., didn't your momma tell you that the pun was the lowest form of humor?
posted by lodurr at 8:05 AM on December 22, 2005

From the Acronym Finder, first link in Kirth Gerson's comment:
"Reverse Acronym Search:
This search will look up the Acronym
or abbreviation using its definition.

Useful if you have a phrase or word
that you want the acronym or abbreviation for."

...

*facepalm*
posted by Baby_Balrog at 8:12 AM on December 22, 2005

If you don't have UNIX yet, units is a great reason to install it.

You can also get it as part of cygwin.
posted by mendel at 8:59 AM on December 22, 2005

It doesn't convert from what a guy thinks his penis length is to what his girlfriend thinks it is.
posted by BrotherCaine at 2:35 AM PST on December 22 [!]

give 'em an inch and they'll take a mile
posted by beelzbubba at 9:18 AM on December 22, 2005

There's really is no rhyme or reason to which crap FPPs will get you people going, is there?
posted by spock at 10:04 AM on December 22, 2005

It turned me into a newt!
posted by mr.marx at 10:09 AM on December 22, 2005

Perhaps they're not eating absolute crap

Try the grits
posted by CynicalKnight at 11:11 AM on December 22, 2005

For the record, it turns out that "Forty Rods to the Hogshead" converts to .003125 miles per gallon. Grandpa Simpson's non-metric car is also non-efficient.
posted by BigLankyBastard at 11:20 AM on December 22, 2005

The metric system sucks.
posted by obloquy at 1:02 PM on December 22, 2005

Citizen Premier: Did they really say that? They're wrong; it was three-fifths.
posted by dhartung at 1:18 AM PST on December 22 [!]

Is it too late to say "oops?"
posted by Citizen Premier at 3:06 PM on December 22, 2005

obloquy, that site is kinda dumb, except for this, which is wicked interesting (if a tad spotty).
posted by es_de_bah at 5:35 PM on December 22, 2005

Well, I was Jewish, but now I'm Fahrenheit.
posted by maxsparber at 6:16 PM on December 22, 2005

Godwin!
posted by mr.marx at 6:27 PM on December 22, 2005