You want a War on Christmas?

December 23, 2005 8:04 AM

A Wine For The Rest of Us...... Today is December 23, so have yourself a Merrry Little Festivus! It's too late to buy a Festivus Pole, but you can still send a card or take the quiz.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy (18 comments total)

*Unfurls list of grievances... Clears Throat.*
posted by drezdn at 8:06 AM on December 23, 2005

Ahh... maybe I can have some serenity now.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:40 AM on December 23, 2005

You'll have to pardon me as I add Festivus alongside Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and Solstice on the list of winter holidays that I hate and don't want to hear anything about, ever.

/grinch
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:53 AM on December 23, 2005

Excuse me as I lift this old monitor several times as a feat of strength
posted by bitdamaged at 8:57 AM on December 23, 2005

"It's too late to buy a Festivus Pole"

Is the expressed purpose of the Festivus Pole to do away with the commercialization and overly complex need-to-buy that the other holidays are rampant with? Why the hell would a store-bought Festivus Pole be a good idea?
posted by Kickstart70 at 9:03 AM on December 23, 2005

I add Festivus alongside Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and Solstice on the list of winter holidays that I hate and don't want to hear anything about, ever.

When you start hating mock holidays you've just become cold inside.
posted by bitdamaged at 9:25 AM on December 23, 2005

Will Boondocks or some other cartoon have a special lampooning the commercialization of Festivus that we will all remember fondly in 40 years?
posted by drezdn at 9:33 AM on December 23, 2005

There was a WSJ article the other day on how Christmas in celebrated by yuppies in China.

Sounded a lot like Festivus to me.

Would link to it, but..well..WSJ and all.
posted by wah at 9:40 AM on December 23, 2005

George, stop crying and fight your father.
posted by scratch at 10:01 AM on December 23, 2005

When you start hating mock holidays you've just become cold inside.

I'm also curious how you can hate the winter solstice ... I mean even I get annoyed by those solsticeers at the mall every now and then, but jeez. I'm guessing you have a close (and annoying) pagan friend or something. I don't see a lot of solstice celebrations every year (or any, even though I know a few people who celebrate it).
posted by mrgrimm at 10:20 AM on December 23, 2005

I GOT A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE!
posted by SisterHavana at 10:59 AM on December 23, 2005

Celebration, alcohol and metal poles.. I like the sound of this holiday already..
posted by MJ6 at 11:18 AM on December 23, 2005

Don't forget the books
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 11:31 AM on December 23, 2005

Don't bother going to Hallmark looking for Festivus cards. They don't have any. Nor does Borders or Walgreen's or the goofy store in the mall that sells mildly titillating greeting cards featuring either a oiled-up bodybuilder or a lady in a pink string bikini.
posted by mullacc at 11:46 AM on December 23, 2005

posted by ericb at 12:09 PM on December 23, 2005

I loved the ice cream, but apparently I was the only one.
posted by emelenjr at 4:57 PM on December 23, 2005

When you start hating mock holidays you've just become cold inside.

I'm also curious how you can hate the winter solstice ... I mean even I get annoyed by those solsticeers at the mall every now and then, but jeez. I'm guessing you have a close (and annoying) pagan friend or something. I don't see a lot of solstice celebrations every year (or any, even though I know a few people who celebrate it).

::shrug:: I forgot to mention that I hate Yule, too. I just have a deep-seated loathing for all wintertime "festivals of light," regardless of their provenance. I believe that winter is cold, dark and depressing for a reason, and that to attempt to deny this is a violation of the natural order. I'll leave you all be.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:34 AM on December 24, 2005

Cold, dark, and depressing—like your butt?
posted by kenko at 12:49 PM on December 26, 2005