Where the rich and conservative wine and dine

December 30, 2005 7:05 PM

Who knew Jack Abramoff owned a restaurant? Well with the power-lobbyist-cum-felon's latest problems, Signatures, his Capitol Hill eatery, is looking for a new name. And you can help! I hope the Mefi community can offer many thoughtful suggestions. (via)
posted by slogger (24 comments total)

He owns two restaurants, I think.
posted by bardic at 7:07 PM on December 30, 2005

Sleaze-o-mat?
posted by ahimsakid at 7:08 PM on December 30, 2005

And I just suggested Indictments.
posted by bardic at 7:08 PM on December 30, 2005

"The Pen" might be hard to beat. Triple-entendre that it is.
posted by destro at 7:28 PM on December 30, 2005

Some of the latest Republican talking points on Abramoff are along the lines of "Well, Dems took money from him too." This is entirely true, and I, for one, welcome the indictment and/or public shaming of anyone involved with this crook. What's the phrase I'm looking for? Ah yes, "Bring it on."

And a quick glance at imdb for Red Scorpion reveals:
The best scene is after Dolph blows off the Cuban commanders arm; he is outside firing a heavy machine gun (in slow motion with the theme song playing in the background). That part may only be 5 seconds long, but it's the best part in my opinion.

Too sweet.
posted by bardic at 7:36 PM on December 30, 2005

Kickback Steak House
posted by birdhaus at 8:09 PM on December 30, 2005

"Forgeries"?
"Junkets"?
I know — "Reservations" (triple-entendre too, destro!)
posted by rob511 at 8:16 PM on December 30, 2005

Hm...

Sous La Table ?
posted by bukharin at 8:32 PM on December 30, 2005

Kickback Steak House

Too bad the tagline "No Rules, Just Right" is already taken.
posted by slogger at 9:08 PM on December 30, 2005

Hope Eclairs!
posted by icosahedral at 9:24 PM on December 30, 2005

Le Pot de Vin? (French for "bribe")
posted by clevershark at 11:08 PM on December 30, 2005

[Too bad the tagline "No Rules, Just Right" is already taken]

How about "No Rights, Just Rules"?

Oh, wait! That's the motto of the Department of Homeland Security!
posted by birdhaus at 11:14 PM on December 30, 2005

Out of the Frying Pan
posted by Runcible Spoon at 4:12 AM on December 31, 2005

The Greased Palm

The Illegal Transfer

Fat Cat's House of Pork

The Handout

Strange Bedfellows

Take the Money and Run

The Hard Time Cafe

Bebe's House of Influence
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:47 AM on December 31, 2005

Actually, anyone who has been following the Abrhamoff story knew that he got his start greasing the palms of the high and mighty 10 years ago by giving them free meals at his restaurant. Soon, this led to free trips, and ultimately, free money... well, sort of free. The politicians only had to give their ethics in return.
posted by crunchland at 5:07 AM on December 31, 2005

Bush knew.
posted by rxrfrx at 5:27 AM on December 31, 2005

Am I right in thinking that Abramoff liquidated his ownership share in the restaurant a while back?

Also, I like the single line entry in the "News" section of the Signatures Web site: "Signatures is closed"
posted by killdevil at 5:52 AM on December 31, 2005

Sold Me Soul
Satanic Snacks
Sticky Fingers
Dirty Laundry
Grafters Grub
Eat Me
The Aristocrats

or simply...

4Sale

I just woke up, whattya want...
posted by dbiedny at 6:39 AM on December 31, 2005

OK, had me some tea...

Jack's Hot House
Eat & Run
(Re)Pub(LeeCan)
Jack's Big Buff Burger Barn
BuyOff Buffet
Under the Table

or simply

FuKYu American Style (Chinese)

OK, I need a bagel now...
posted by dbiedny at 6:47 AM on December 31, 2005

I live and work on Capitol Hill, and I'd never heard of the place. Turns out, it's not on the hill at all, but in the Penn Quarter neighborhood, half way between the Capitol and the White House. Not a bad place to be, I guess.
posted by MrMoonPie at 8:40 AM on December 31, 2005

Chez DeLay?
posted by greatgefilte at 12:32 PM on December 31, 2005

Turns out, it's not on the hill at all, but in the Penn Quarter neighborhood, half way between the Capitol and the White House.

This just drips with symbolism.
posted by clevershark at 1:13 PM on December 31, 2005

T.G.I.Fitzmas
The Pokey
SlushFund's
BlowBack Steak House
Snitches*

*(i hope)
posted by maryh at 1:16 PM on December 31, 2005

I knew he owns two restaurants. Do I win something?

The other one is called Archives, if I remember correctly. If memory serves, Archives has a Kosher menu, while Signatures does not. They were both pretty good last time I was there, actually.
posted by JekPorkins at 1:58 PM on December 31, 2005