God Did It.

January 6, 2006 10:02 AM

There he goes again. "He was dividing God's land, and I would say, Woe unto any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course to appease the [European Union], the United Nations or the United States of America."
posted by three blind mice (36 comments total)

Why give this guy the time of day? It almost seems like the people WANT him to represent evangelical Christianity.
posted by aaronshaf at 10:04 AM on January 6, 2006

Oh God! Tell me who to smote and they shall be smoten!
posted by Jikido at 10:05 AM on January 6, 2006

Why is this dickhead so important in America? He has no relevance anywhere else.
posted by adamvasco at 10:05 AM on January 6, 2006

Jesus must be spinning in his grave
posted by Jikido at 10:06 AM on January 6, 2006

Presumably, this means that should Pat Robertson ever die or suffer some sort of life threatening situation, it was because God was angry with him.

Or, really, any time anyone has died for any reason, it was because God was smiting them. Jesus, for example.
posted by Joey Michaels at 10:07 AM on January 6, 2006

Sharon, 77, and fat as a house ... I don't think God needed to do much
posted by mrgrimm at 10:08 AM on January 6, 2006

You'd think God would be a little less subtle when smiting someone than waiting until they're old and obese, and having to use two strokes to finish them off, rather than, you know, a lightning bolt or something.
posted by billysumday at 10:08 AM on January 6, 2006

I really wish we would quit giving this idiot a platform or attention.
posted by dios at 10:09 AM on January 6, 2006

You'd think God would be a little less subtle when smiting someone than waiting until they're old and obese, and having to use two strokes to finish them off

Well, to be fair God's been using new clubs recently so His putting needs a little work.
posted by clevershark at 10:10 AM on January 6, 2006

When folks stop sending him millions of dollars, he may consider stopping.
posted by Jikido at 10:10 AM on January 6, 2006

If it's God's land, why doesn't Robertson go live there already?
posted by rottytooth at 10:10 AM on January 6, 2006

hey, wow, i'm with dios. robertson is an attention whore.
posted by moonbird at 10:14 AM on January 6, 2006

That guy is such a tool.
posted by delmoi at 10:15 AM on January 6, 2006

It seems to me that Pat Robertson is rather seen as a leader by evangelicals themselves. For chrissake aaronshaf, he received the Cross of Nails award in 2000 for his vision, inspiration, and humanitarian work with The Flying Hospital. Is that not Christian leadership?
posted by three blind mice at 10:15 AM on January 6, 2006

Great, this week is going to be nothing but posts on Sharon. Everytime someone comments on him, or his health changes, or he dies, or riots break out, or something happens at his funeral. Let's just get it out of our system now.
posted by allen.spaulding at 10:17 AM on January 6, 2006

He "gets the time of day" everday Monday through Friday because of all of the $ that flow to him to keep up the "good work"

what three blind mice said
posted by Jikido at 10:19 AM on January 6, 2006

Smite him.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:23 AM on January 6, 2006

I heard God's gonna smote anyone posting in this here thread.
posted by jsavimbi at 10:25 AM on January 6, 2006

There he goes again.

Well, yeah, that's it exactly. It's not even remotely newsworthy anymore that Pat Robertson has said something grossly inflammatory and hateful. He's the Madonna of fundamentalism - the more attention you give him, the more he gets the kind of power he wants.
posted by soyjoy at 10:25 AM on January 6, 2006

Listen, Robertson is a good man, a humble man. He is an honest and true Christian. He is doing the Lord's work here on Earth. Without men like him Satan and his army of infidels would have triumphed long ago. Yes sir, Satan surely wishes that men like Pat Robertson were fewer and farther between. Why would Mr. Robertson devote his life to pious poverty and service if he wasn't truly doing God's work? Why, indeed. Perhaps those of you throwing stones would to explain how it is that he does so much good in a single day. I'll tell you why, he is surely blessed by the Lord. Mr. Robertson is a guardian angel here on Earth. The comments in question were obviously taken out of context. Anybody who knows Mr. Robertson knows that he does not have a single hurtful wish in his heart. Why, the man is a Christian! He would no sooner pass judgment on his fellow men than worship at the alter of a false god. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. Get on your knees and beg God to forgive for thinking such mean thoughts about such a great man.

Oh wait... today isn't opposite day? Oh, my bad, just forget all of that stuff then.
posted by oddman at 10:27 AM on January 6, 2006

C'mon, this isn't even news.
posted by OmieWise at 10:28 AM on January 6, 2006

By which I meant to point out that it's ok to not post an FPP if you've got nothing.
posted by OmieWise at 10:29 AM on January 6, 2006

the power of christ compels you!
posted by isopraxis at 10:31 AM on January 6, 2006

hey, wow, i'm with dios. robertson is an attention whore.

Me too, and Dios certainly knows one when he sees one...
posted by stenseng at 10:31 AM on January 6, 2006

Don't forget that Robertson is an honorary member of ex-dictator Charles Taylor's Butt-Naked Brigade.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 10:35 AM on January 6, 2006

I just talked to Him, Jesus is very upset at Pat Robertson. Something about everyone being children of God or something. There was apparently a book written about the right way to live and there's nothing in it about taking land away from the darkies.
posted by geoff. at 10:36 AM on January 6, 2006

"Jesus must be spinning in his grave"

Pssst. I think it was found empty some time ago.
posted by onegreeneye at 10:40 AM on January 6, 2006

Jesus must be spinning in his grave

aside from His not being in the grave to begin with, no. Jesus fully knows the nature of men, including the one called Robertson. how could He be surprised or discomfited?
posted by quonsar at 10:40 AM on January 6, 2006

You'd think God would be a little less subtle when smiting someone than waiting until they're old and obese, and having to use two strokes to finish them off

No, no, you see: God exists outside of the human timeline, so he retroactively made Sharon old and obese, so that the strokes wouldn't freak everybody out.

Yes, that's it.
posted by LordSludge at 10:40 AM on January 6, 2006

jinx!
posted by quonsar at 10:41 AM on January 6, 2006

His show is on ABC Family. Contact them to pull him off the air.
posted by NationalKato at 10:41 AM on January 6, 2006

A kitten dies every time Pat Robertson speaks to the media.
posted by mosk at 10:42 AM on January 6, 2006

And lo, on the sixth day of the 6th year of the new millenium, a miracle did occur.

I agree with dios.

But you see, its not Pat Robertson saying this, its GOD saying it through him. Can't you see the difference? Why God would choose to speak through a douchebag like Robertson just makes him/her all that much easier to deny as a superior being.
posted by fenriq at 10:42 AM on January 6, 2006

so that the strokes wouldn't freak everybody out.

Must be the hair.
posted by NationalKato at 10:43 AM on January 6, 2006

Unfortunately, ABC Family is contractually obligated to air Robertson until he feels like quitting.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 10:43 AM on January 6, 2006

As Hugo Chavez said, "who's Pat Robertson?"
posted by dov3 at 10:47 AM on January 6, 2006